187: The Sickos Do A Classic Posting Episode

[00:00:00] I think there's someone doing work on the roof?

[00:00:09] Ah well, probably an HOA email I didn't read.

[00:00:13] Wonder what's on TV?

[00:00:15] I'm told by the Chicago Police Department that they're calling him the Joe's Roof Railgun

[00:00:19] Shooter.

[00:00:20] The part that I, a journalist, ace recorder William Penis need to emphasize here is the

[00:00:26] first part of his name, the Joe's Roof part.

[00:00:30] As of this time, the motives of the Joe's Roof Railgun Shooter are unclear.

[00:00:36] Intel sources from every country agree that this would not be possible.

[00:00:40] It Joe's house and therefore Roof were not there.

[00:00:43] And it's likely that Joe's Roof Railgun Shooter, without this specific vantage point, to be

[00:00:51] clear Joe's Roof would have given up, gone home and not used this insanely advanced

[00:00:57] gun that shoots through anything.

[00:01:00] I saw a guy who got shot by the railgun that said, Joe's Roof Railgun Shooter used and

[00:01:07] it would be better if someone had put dynamite up his butt.

[00:01:11] A mob is now forming outside Joe's house so this cannot happen again.

[00:01:17] Oh this kind of sucks.

[00:01:37] Hello everyone, welcome to Anime Sickos.

[00:01:51] It's the podcast for geniuses and the only podcast where we take a look at the four

[00:01:56] pillars of modern misery, anime, gaming, posting and jobs.

[00:02:00] I am Tom in Anime Sicko.

[00:02:02] I am Joe in Anime Sicko.

[00:02:05] We have a patron to thank and then we can get started with their hilarious gags and jokes.

[00:02:10] This new patron is giving us four quid and fifty pence which is the equivalent of five

[00:02:17] normal money.

[00:02:18] Toad dollars.

[00:02:20] Yes, this is the token detergent rinser.

[00:02:24] Parentheses British.

[00:02:27] So the only person there that does it?

[00:02:29] Yeah.

[00:02:30] They see a soapy ass dish and think to themselves, well this isn't quite done yet is it?

[00:02:39] Meanwhile everyone else in London is like tripping over themselves to lick it.

[00:02:43] Yes, exactly.

[00:02:44] They're like I want to taste the soap.

[00:02:45] I would love to have diarrhea from soap.

[00:02:51] Being an island nation it inculcates perverted ways in its people.

[00:02:58] I think it's because the ocean is just inherently evil and being surrounded by it on all sides

[00:03:03] just cooks you.

[00:03:05] Yes, I think that's very true.

[00:03:08] We went to a little trip together.

[00:03:13] Not just the two of us.

[00:03:16] I don't know what you're saying.

[00:03:17] To the coast.

[00:03:18] To the coast.

[00:03:19] And we saw the ocean and it was like this is cool but then it started to drive

[00:03:23] us mad because of the monsters that live there so we like wet the other direction and there

[00:03:28] was just a bunch of land and it was just like I'm not going to fall into the ocean.

[00:03:33] But if we were on an island we would have just turned around and saw additional ocean

[00:03:38] and been like oh god.

[00:03:40] Fully consumed by the madness.

[00:03:42] And I was already going a little insane because I had to purchase very large hoodie

[00:03:46] that looked like shit because we went out to the loo.

[00:03:49] Breakfast was very windy and cold and I didn't wear enough layers and I was like hey

[00:03:53] dude you guys got I see this is great because you are selling hoodies that advertise your

[00:03:59] establishment and I am very much in the market for another layer.

[00:04:03] Looks like that hoodie would be quite warm.

[00:04:05] Do you have anything in medium?

[00:04:07] Oh only four X's?

[00:04:09] Okay here's $80.

[00:04:11] I guess I was not when I walk around the house with it.

[00:04:15] It's like a it's a Fetterman thing like you look so like it just gives you that

[00:04:19] body type.

[00:04:20] It gives you the ogre.

[00:04:22] Not the design part but like the build.

[00:04:26] The silhouette reads Frankenstein to be sure.

[00:04:31] Definitely composed of many men stitched together.

[00:04:35] That was such a loose loot.

[00:04:37] Obviously I've had it make harder decisions in my life but like you're cold.

[00:04:42] The only option is spending a lot of money on a shitty hoodie that's two sizes too big.

[00:04:51] Now that's a gauntlet.

[00:04:53] I mean how many anecdotes have you gotten out of this experience?

[00:04:57] You've talked about it on the show.

[00:04:58] It's actually the only thing that's ever happened to me.

[00:05:01] Yeah.

[00:05:02] I think the point we're trying to make is that if it was on an island I don't

[00:05:07] remember.

[00:05:08] This is a classic posting episode.

[00:05:10] It's been so long since we did posting because I took the fucking posting off of my phone which

[00:05:15] was such the best thing ever done in my life.

[00:05:22] So it's taken a while but we're back.

[00:05:24] We're back.

[00:05:25] I think before we jump into a post can we address like a posting reality that you

[00:05:30] and I have all shared which is like we are still on X even though it's Turd City.

[00:05:36] The reason being is just Blue Sky doesn't cut the juice.

[00:05:40] I don't know what else to say.

[00:05:44] Here's okay.

[00:05:45] I don't know.

[00:05:46] It's true.

[00:05:47] Also when I log in there's a lot of people talking about how this way is going to be

[00:05:51] better.

[00:05:52] This is going to be different and it's like on Twitter no one thinks it's going

[00:05:54] to get better.

[00:05:55] Yeah it's not going to get better.

[00:05:57] I don't see that quite as much anymore and when I you know agree with and repeat

[00:06:02] that like Blue Sky doesn't cut it sometimes I feel bad about like well what does that mean

[00:06:09] you know like is this just what are the what's the evidence you know.

[00:06:13] Here's the evidence when we post a new episode I put a promotional post in three places one

[00:06:19] on actually everything app where you have your bank.

[00:06:24] Ali Baba one on Tumblr where nobody likes it but they do like the stupid jokes where

[00:06:31] I complain about how I don't respect them and then I also put it on Blue Sky and the

[00:06:39] reach that those posts have on the dying website X is like 15 times the fucking

[00:06:47] distraction they get on Blue Sky.

[00:06:48] And granted half it's probably fake but even still.

[00:06:53] I mean the fake fake numbers people respect posts that have bigger numbers because they

[00:06:58] think oh this must be this isn't some rinky dink operation because the numbers big I don't

[00:07:04] care how it got big but like fucking just today we put out an episode getting big retweets

[00:07:12] on Twitter getting big likes they call them notes on Tumblr it was liked and retweeted

[00:07:20] on Blue Sky once now is it fair to paint the whole website with for sure yeah yeah

[00:07:29] see we're the protagonists of life in general we said when we say Blue Sky doesn't have the

[00:07:36] juice none of them have juice they will never think we said this before but there will never

[00:07:41] be like I'm about to say like the age of social media like it was like good but like there's

[00:07:47] not going to be like the 2015 levels of like Twitter ever there's gonna there will not

[00:07:53] be a product like that yeah and that's fine it just rather than chasing that forever I

[00:07:59] think there has to be some sort of a expectation adjustment I think also all of our dumb posts

[00:08:07] that we see are still on X the everything I poor my bank is they're so stupid there's

[00:08:12] so many dumb posts that we can tell you about folks it's been a while like I said since

[00:08:18] we did one of these so I feel like we got to shake off the rust you know so you

[00:08:22] like doing stretching you want to stretch before you actually start exercising so you

[00:08:26] don't pull anything and I think the easiest way for us to sort of stretch for a posting

[00:08:32] episode is talk about Matt Iglesias one of the dumbest roundest most egg like men to ever live

[00:08:44] but this one is not about his opinions about safety standards or how we need to have a

[00:08:50] billion Americans this one is low key and in its low keyness it is somehow more powerful

[00:08:56] so can you this is a dip dick because it's two posts can you read the first post and describe

[00:09:04] the accompanying image I'm looking at the accompanying image and wow spend most of my day finally

[00:09:13] getting the garage organized growing up in Manhattan I never dreamed I'd be able to

[00:09:17] achieve this level of dad and it's a pegboard that's mostly empty and then like as a joke

[00:09:26] this is so good I don't think it's a joke I wish I don't think he's capable of doing

[00:09:30] something this funny on purpose this pegboard looks like shit there is two hammers they

[00:09:37] are stacked on top of each other thus defeating the parents of the pegboard

[00:09:41] the growing up in Manhattan thing is funny because like I know apartments are very small

[00:09:50] in Manhattan but you could fit a pegboard into many places of residence if that's what we're

[00:09:56] talking about pegboards famously go on the wall and have thus zero footprint I really want to

[00:10:04] I want to inventory so you mentioned the funniest egg which is the two hammers that

[00:10:09] are on the same pegs but he also has a again this is you know this level of dad like when

[00:10:16] you think about dad's pegboard it's gonna be full of tools all sorts of tools my dad

[00:10:21] has one of these he's a woodworking freak he has so many tools up on the wall he is

[00:10:25] they're all bunched you know what this is it's when they have someone draw a clock and

[00:10:28] the numbers are all fucking but yes yes like the the amount of like the pie chart of unused

[00:10:37] pegboard space is like Pac-Man dude it's the Pac-Man in like mid mouth close so we got the

[00:10:43] hammers there is hanging up on a pegboard you know where dads keep their tools is a compact

[00:10:50] travel umbrella a feather duster a saw that looks like it's fruit like it's a toy and I

[00:10:59] think perhaps the funniest thing is just a pair of headphones and you might think give me

[00:11:03] that's ear protection for a power tool no it's a pair of headphones because there's fucking wires

[00:11:08] coming out of the can we talk about I guess the time skip where he adds more tools yes yes yes

[00:11:16] yes there's a follow-up post where he says added more tools don't need to say anything else it is

[00:11:22] very clear what has happened he has added it he has added an electric drill and the case

[00:11:31] but it appears he has taken the drill out of the case and hung up the the drill on the case

[00:11:37] separately and the wires are just hanging from the drill and they look like shit there is a dirty

[00:11:43] trial again we are running into a bit of the drawn clock problem although I will say he is getting

[00:11:50] much better with space yes added one of those basically it's like a rod that has little pegs

[00:12:00] multiple pegs in a pegboard so you can hold multiple tools for like small things yeah he has

[00:12:07] one of those up there and it's got a screwdriver it's got one on the left side there's like six

[00:12:14] little loopies on this item that so six things gonna be put through these loopies and there's

[00:12:19] one so Joe I want to give him the benefit of the doubt about the case for the drill because

[00:12:24] it is very funny that he has hung up his drill with a big cord that's just like flopping down

[00:12:32] but it's possible that what you're seeing hung up is not the case for the drill but rather a sort of

[00:12:38] tool kit and I know that that might be the case because for my wedding I don't have any tools

[00:12:44] and so we're running and putting on the registry a little tool case much like that where it just

[00:12:48] has like wrenches an allen wrench set pliers a hammer you know your basic tools that you

[00:12:56] what a normal person would need to do light work here and there I got that here's the thing about

[00:13:04] that though you get that when you are a fucking dilettante when you are a little feminine city man

[00:13:10] as I there's nothing wrong with having one of those it's just like you don't need to

[00:13:13] I I was supposed to the storage solution comes with like that's the thing like you don't need to hang

[00:13:20] it up unsolved already you purchased the solution and you unsolved it it is insanely good though it's

[00:13:26] a great post I know the like the city boy rhetorical move is very funny but it's

[00:13:34] like people like stuff still is like built and fixed in Manhattan it's not like

[00:13:39] you never saw a hammer yeah yeah yeah oh my god wait someone has pointed out in the cotton

[00:13:46] the replies the additional pair of headphones kills me and now that I actually look further on the

[00:13:51] time skip second image uh I think he has two pairs of those headphones on the same peg because

[00:13:58] you'll see at least three ear cups it is that a hose or ethernet cable what is going on there

[00:14:05] I am very intrigued by it yeah so there is a mysterious loop of red pinkish stuff uh unclear

[00:14:17] what they could possibly be but I mean Matt's got him up on his wall an unthinkable level of dad

[00:14:25] but he's clearly a handy guy uh so yeah yeah I wouldn't want to actually because I don't

[00:14:30] know how to do anything you know well I mean you know how to listen to music on headphones

[00:14:33] how to feather dust but I only listen to one set of headphones at a time he's working

[00:14:40] on a different level he's doing what I always wanted to be able to do which is listen to music

[00:14:44] in a podcast at the same time holy shit so we end this discussion and Matt Eglace is the same

[00:14:51] way we always do when we talk about him which is to uh agree that he's got it figured out and

[00:14:57] is really smart and the things he chooses to say in public he really made a good decision to do

[00:15:04] but here it is how you can actually test if he's a genuine garage dad which is

[00:15:11] the reason I my dad was a genuine garage dad because if I touched any of the tools he would

[00:15:17] just beat my ass so so the real test here uh is is does he care enough I we need to get invited

[00:15:28] to his house or just show up and just start like kind of just touching the second hammer that's stuck

[00:15:35] behind yeah and see if he gets enraged okay um I let's move on to the next post this one is

[00:15:45] I'm not gonna quote the original source because uh it's a it's a Nazi folks like it this is this

[00:15:53] is from a nazi's newsletter I don't want to they say these shit so that they get you know

[00:16:00] dollars yes yes I'm not gonna give them dollars but you gotta we got talking about this goes

[00:16:05] very funny is the thing what we're about to read is great because it's just like the DNA inside

[00:16:10] you is correct yeah this is I mean it made us really feel good because you know a lot of people

[00:16:17] trying to make you feel bad for being from the midwest a lot of chicago and so like oh we're

[00:16:20] I'm not a midwestern I'm a chicago in it's different shut up it's the biggest midwest town ever

[00:16:26] it's all it is yes and you should feel good because well you'll see why Joe would you would

[00:16:31] you read yeah in 2018 I moved from a racially diverse swing state in the Sunbelt to a homogeneous

[00:16:37] red state up in corn country this decision was largely motivated by politics I was looking to

[00:16:42] retreat to an imagine hyperbora free of crime degeneracy where my bulkhead political autonomy

[00:16:47] and then when someone says degeneracy is kind of gives away the game if you don't already know that

[00:16:53] when someone says I moved and it my move was motivated by politics it's like oh usually

[00:16:59] you try to hide that fact unless you're fleeing yes the next two years were the most miserable of my

[00:17:08] life but they were also among the most instructive and ultimately what made me leave white nationalism

[00:17:13] on emotional level to put it bluntly most of my white neighbors and co-workers basically

[00:17:18] resembled hobbits they had stop you right there I could not think of a more deep compliment

[00:17:26] than if someone told me Tom your bearing in ways remind me of the noble hobbit I'd be like hell yeah

[00:17:34] hobbits always know exactly how much time is left until there's a treat that's yes that's us

[00:17:39] that's fine that's correct watch those movies again the first like 15 minutes are just a

[00:17:44] voiceover being like one thing you gotta know about hobbits is that we vibe we'd be chilling

[00:17:49] we love weed we love drinking we love our little cakes and I'm just like oh hell yeah I wish I loved

[00:17:56] weed I'm everything but that but not for lack of try anyway to put it to put it bluntly again

[00:18:02] most of my white neighbors and co-workers basically resembled hobbits they had no ambition to them nor

[00:18:08] any aspirations of greatness nor did they think about the world in a dynamic way the more educated

[00:18:15] among them certainly stayed informed about the wider world but they largely took it for granted

[00:18:20] that their immediate universe was a static place where nothing would ever happen and the horrifying

[00:18:27] thing is that's how they liked it the midwest has so much negative drip that it can get bigotry

[00:18:35] out of the most insane person I love okay the last paragraph is not necessary but I do want to

[00:18:42] say the first line which is I quickly discovered that midwesterners had no sense of imperial destiny

[00:18:50] and right to rule this is so like I'm like thank you sir I'm I'm glad someone noticed

[00:18:58] we just want to hang out and we know what had to occur for us to be hanging out we're not dumb

[00:19:04] okay historically we understand uh but also the thing that I I disagree with aside from the Nazism

[00:19:14] is uh that he says like chilling is itself not an ambition I do not so hard I don't agree

[00:19:25] have you tried to like get a date on the calendar to hang with your buds if you're like a teen it's

[00:19:32] easy actually I don't know these days they say the teens can't do that either but like it's hard you

[00:19:36] gotta like move mountains to like see your buddies oh just the idea that like I this is this is I

[00:19:46] bet if I read theory I'd have someone to describe this in the context up but just like the idea

[00:19:52] to getting so high on your own supply of propaganda that you're like the white race is an inherently

[00:19:59] imperial race right you're saying imperial destiny like you are saying these words that sound like you

[00:20:05] are doing the sephiroth speech right yes and then like the thing that you're so high on your own

[00:20:10] supply and you're so sephiroth pilled that like the thing that shocks you and makes you like lose

[00:20:16] faith in your worldview is turns out these people are all pretty nice and it's like no I wanted them

[00:20:23] to be evil midwest is best okay and it's just this yeah so if you're in Chicago don't try to say oh

[00:20:32] it's not the midwest it's its own place you should own it you have to own it do not you absolutely

[00:20:37] cannot try to diminish that aspect of Chicago yeah yeah yeah you know people talk about like white

[00:20:44] people are evil and have no culture and for like people like that guy yes that's for sure but like

[00:20:50] the good kind of white like the white people who can hang our culture is like being a hobbit it's like

[00:20:59] when's dinner when's dinner I got some IPA do you want to listen to pavement it's fine if you don't

[00:21:06] they're pretty mellow it's like oh yeah that's what I want to be all right next up this is a uh

[00:21:14] you sent this to me with the caption video game magazines used to be brave it's a

[00:21:24] from some video game magazine back in the day when the xbox was new they have a review of the

[00:21:30] xbox game grabbed by the ghoulies rare was acquired by microsoft to make this game mind you

[00:21:38] so they were they were cranking out like really fun collect them up something n64 and then they got

[00:21:43] grabbed by the ghoulies mm-hmm so this okay I'm not gonna say but so headline grabbed by the ghoulies

[00:21:56] subhead something r-worded this way comes no I know it's wrong to say the r-word however

[00:22:05] this was just like in the air this was like the basic yeah uh this is an important artifact I'm not

[00:22:12] saying this is good to be clear but like this is just this is red ring when like this is what

[00:22:18] Sean is talking about where it's Sean rose's comic red ring of death is this it's yeah there's

[00:22:23] just such a awful point in time uh in gaming media uh and there's another

[00:22:33] another swipe at uh what what so they have like the good the bad and then another thing so

[00:22:40] the good high production values bad far too repetitive voiceover work provided by

[00:22:48] a special ed class you can't say that that's really rough I didn't I I did not even notice

[00:22:55] that because I was just like I didn't know this is still you head because the audacity is nuts uh yeah

[00:23:02] I didn't notice that either I thought that something r-worded this way comes was all of it and

[00:23:07] like I didn't look at the little box it's in a box folks the good bad and voiceover work

[00:23:11] provided by and I'm just like that box probably not relevant holy shit so agreed the r-word

[00:23:18] it was a it was a worse time it's bad to say that however I think it's like a nothing decision

[00:23:23] though to use it right like that's what's so amazing I think the one thing that the r-word has over

[00:23:29] other slurs is that as wrong as it is to say ever if it is tactically utilized in specific

[00:23:39] scenarios unlike any other slur it can be so funny oh I was gonna say I've showed you that uh

[00:23:48] like the most wrong magazine cover ever from the 60s and it's like there are three like

[00:23:53] previews of main story it's like why we're winning the war in Vietnam uh the second thing is just

[00:23:59] like racism is it over it sure is and the third one is our kids can they learn and it's just

[00:24:06] like holy crap holy shit like you said like I you had sent me this image you know ages ago

[00:24:15] I opened it up I saw what it said and I fucking was so shocked I laughed like a fool and I was

[00:24:22] like what is this image we have shared on our on the task aid for the posting episode and I

[00:24:26] expanded it and on the fucking call before we started recording I fucking broke out because

[00:24:32] it's just like oh my god and I mean case in point also a tactical use of the word is uh in the Mr.

[00:24:39] So sketch about Halloween novelty songs all the monster mashes yeah the the guy who's the record

[00:24:47] collector they they're really smart because they don't say it they just let the the bottom third

[00:24:54] with this name and occupation do the r-wording but his name is dr r he's the head of uh uh

[00:25:01] surgery at UMass if I if I remember it so fucking funny oh my god anyway let's get off of that I want

[00:25:08] to talk about um I'm gonna talk about my man Chuck Wendig now you'll remember Chuck Wendig

[00:25:15] is the guy who says uh Wednesday the day you flumpty foo you need a firmware update in the form

[00:25:22] of coffee this is actually on blue sky Joe this is this may be a counterpoint because this is

[00:25:30] well actually now I remember the twist and I hate blue sky again no I was gonna say maybe blue

[00:25:35] sky does have the the juice because uh someone has uh shared a excerpt from a book by Chuck Wendig

[00:25:44] again the day you flumpty foo was a wazzle was all you need firmware update in the form of coffee

[00:25:50] he has written a book about writing advice how to be a good writer and uh here is a excerpt

[00:25:57] from that you have to keep some fucks in your fuck basket you must give some number of fucks

[00:26:04] to continue this thing that you want to do it is important it does matter you matter in pursuit

[00:26:09] of it you just can't keep all the fucks all those fucks in your fuck basket they're too

[00:26:16] fucking heavy there's too much fuck density I'm saying it like that's a talus I'd fuck density

[00:26:24] going on there which is definitely a scientific term probably if you discard all your fucks

[00:26:31] and your fuck fields lie truly fallow then nothing will grow there but if you are too burdened by the

[00:26:38] weight of such fuckery you won't be able to move it'll remain paralyzed neck deep in fucks

[00:26:46] now Joe I thought this was gonna be like blue skies coming through we're all hate

[00:26:51] reading this insane shit no it is said lovingly unfortunately at least in the post that you linked

[00:26:58] to me and uh here's a question what advice is there the advice is don't overthink it but make sure

[00:27:06] you also try dude as in terms of usefulness it's absolutely nothing this is this is Chuck

[00:27:12] Wendig like jatoing and trying to show off about how many funny compound swears he can think up

[00:27:22] which are not compound swears is like really like one of the most dire it is a defining of the

[00:27:30] gen X like reading that it feels out of place today right like it feels like it came from a blog

[00:27:39] 2009 it's really bad I mean the the original poster says this might be the best paragraph ever

[00:27:45] written in human history which I thought was like sarcastic like like tommy needy drinky post

[00:27:51] I would say this might be the best post ever written in human history but that doesn't mean

[00:27:54] that I like it but like all these all these fucking gen Xers are like there's someone's

[00:28:01] like I'd love some alt text because it's an image so you know you can't if you're blind you

[00:28:06] can't read it that's true it's no joke that's true someone you know gives the text version they

[00:28:13] transcribe the entire image into text that a screen reader can read and then the original

[00:28:19] person who asked for the alt text at the end what I would like them to say was how dare you but

[00:28:24] they say thank you so much um oh my god and yeah like I was so ready to read all the hate

[00:28:32] comments but I'm seeing shit like thanks for sharing this I didn't know Chuck had published a

[00:28:36] book on writing just ordered and good advice for creative humans in general and so I blue sky is

[00:28:44] in general more positive in like this weird way uh because twitter is just like it's just like

[00:28:52] bots and like people are that are awful and like this is it's I don't know this makes me feel weird

[00:28:57] um and I'll tell you what the best writing advice I ever got was not that paragraph which

[00:29:02] just swears uh it was the actually it's not one paragraph but it's a essay and it was the essay

[00:29:09] we discussed which is the George Saunders essay about how to write a story in the whole allegory he

[00:29:15] uses is that you have a hot wheels car and everything you do has to make the car go like you

[00:29:23] have to be thinking about like if you're just spinning your wheels and making choices that

[00:29:27] do not make the car go you will never write a good story and that's it's it's real advice

[00:29:34] yes it's like something that you can actually apply because because what actually you know what this

[00:29:39] actually is this is Chuck Wendig's advice here is like make sure you have the perfect mood

[00:29:47] you know when you have a mood make sure it is the perfect one I it's like okay great there's a

[00:29:54] lot of talk like that and a lot of people just do have like control over the mood like that whenever I

[00:29:58] see shit like that I'm just like okay sure fine I will be psychic fine yeah simply be perfect

[00:30:08] fucking Christ let's go a nice one okay this one's pretty good Joe this one actually I want to hear

[00:30:12] your take on it because of uh I mean you're a new father and I know you love your your lovely

[00:30:19] beautiful son Ivan who's a sweetheart and it was nice to me and this post is the statement is from

[00:30:24] Bradley Cooper who uh he likes to wear big fake noses so that's fun yeah actor Bradley Cooper

[00:30:31] famous nose wearer he also uh well not anymore the kid's grown up not like still a kid but it's

[00:30:39] not not an infant uh but he was a new father when the child was an infant and uh well he's

[00:30:47] you know this is one of those things where it's just like you don't need to tell everyone everything

[00:30:52] what did he have to say in an interview the first eight months I don't know if I really love the kid

[00:30:58] he recalled feeling it's dope it's cool I'm watching this thing morph that's my experience

[00:31:05] the actor continued that's such a fucking just say that after everything that's my

[00:31:10] experience uh fascinated by it love taking care of it but would I die if someone came in with a gun

[00:31:18] weird quote to go on the record maybe uh the part okay so as a new father the part about

[00:31:26] I'm watching this thing morph is definitely part of the appeal he's not he off base yes he could have

[00:31:33] if he had like stopped and pivoted to that like he could have salvaged saying that I don't know

[00:31:38] if I loved my kid for the first eight months but but he did not he went back to that also

[00:31:46] we're just talking about juxtaposition as far as like what information is presented in what order

[00:31:51] it's as follows one I don't know if I ever really love the kid two it's dope it's cool

[00:31:58] I mean

[00:32:06] but yeah the morph stuff is so cool they're always morph he's he's like huge uh you know when he was a

[00:32:15] baby he kind of looked like a baby like a newborn baby all big all newborn babies look the same

[00:32:21] they don't really look like people yet but like he's like a he's like a guy like he looks like you and

[00:32:28] Winnie and like I'm like oh you got like a like a guy's face like this is what it's gonna be for you

[00:32:34] forever cool he's now in daycare and it's going well uh we had an issue where the daycare we were

[00:32:40] signed up for uh left a voicemail that was like actually we're done like no more of this uh we're

[00:32:46] closing by so we uh we're out of a daycare and when we were searching the one we were going to go with

[00:32:55] uh which was admittedly farther uh they were well we just asked like do you take pictures of the

[00:32:59] you know kids during the day and their answer was like we just focused on like the child care like

[00:33:04] we will do maybe some pictures once in a while but like in general our teachers want to be

[00:33:08] focusing with the kids and that we're like that's the right answer that's the right answer

[00:33:11] yeah that is the right answer the place that's closer to us that we liked more than we ended up going

[00:33:17] post pictures all the time and just like those nerds in the first place didn't know what they were

[00:33:22] missing like I love seeing my little guy you send me some screen caps and uh he's chilling with

[00:33:29] like the crew like he's found like his podcast co-hosts already yeah he's uh when I picked him

[00:33:35] up yesterday like the teacher was just like he loves hanging out like he just wants to hang out

[00:33:40] nearby other babies like he loves it he's so good what a good boy I just I'm wondering like

[00:33:47] Shirley Bradley Cooper's spouse after he gave that interview was like honey what the fuck

[00:34:00] anyone that's enough about that one the next one is uh we've talked about this sort of in

[00:34:04] general but let's actually read the post and uh discuss the frankly apocalyptic implications

[00:34:12] this is by a freak named Barrett O'Neill who uh according to his bios built two companies

[00:34:19] and sold one who is now investing in real estate so this is uh satan wearing a suit uh human skin

[00:34:29] he says uh and if there's a blue check so this is a long post with a lot of line breaks

[00:34:34] ignore this at your own risks do not put your family in a small car yesterday my wife was driving

[00:34:40] my son to school in an oncoming truck across the center lane hit her head on the driver to

[00:34:45] seizure was going 40 miles per hour I was on my way to work in a separate car and got an emergency

[00:34:50] notification from apple that the car was in an accident and had to automatically call the police

[00:34:55] great feature apple I called my wife no answer I felt sheer dread but the police

[00:35:01] that they're fine the officer told me if she were driving a smaller car it would have been fatal

[00:35:08] we bought this wagon here a month ago I'm so grateful they are okay and that we chose to buy a large

[00:35:13] vehicle do not put your loved ones in a small car uh this was instead of the worst day of our

[00:35:18] lives we're celebrating my son's second birthday today with a chevrolet cake first of all congratulations

[00:35:22] on not dying that's super good however like you see the arms race thing that's because

[00:35:28] like cars are bigger than they have ever been like they are objectively and yes the physics is such

[00:35:36] if you were in the larger vehicle you are less likely to sustain fatal damage for sure

[00:35:41] but traffic fatalities are back to where they were in like the 80s and 90s when they were at

[00:35:47] their highest uh if everyone just gets bigger cars like I don't see the math of the kill equation

[00:35:54] changing uh with this mentality I mean like someone is trying to get this guy to see reason which

[00:36:06] a noble idea but like what are you doing you're wasting your freaking time

[00:36:10] follow that to its logical conclusion if every car is huge drivers the villain in this story

[00:36:15] have equal chances of being hurt but anyone outside of cars far more likely to die um

[00:36:21] um this guy is just like no I don't care we always practice safe driving so I'm not gonna hit a pedestrian

[00:36:27] which that's the thing that I fucking like I've said this before I'll say it a million times

[00:36:32] every time you challenge these huge truck freaks I'm like your huge truck makes it so that if you

[00:36:37] like tap uh pedestrian they'll explode immediately and they're just like I would simply never choose

[00:36:44] to hit a pedestrian and it's like you do understand that a traffic accident like you know what

[00:36:49] accident means right you're not just like I've decided today that I will be reckless because

[00:36:55] I don't care it's like uh what a bad decision I've made I should have made the decision to

[00:37:00] never hit someone fucking christ um this is so like sickening and the thing that really kills me

[00:37:07] is when there are people who aren't like this is like a blue check freak so like he has I don't

[00:37:11] know how what his business plan is but he's definitely like making money off of being evil

[00:37:16] so like he has to say this for his job but like they're like normal people who are like yeah no I

[00:37:21] understand that it causes more deaths but it's inevitable like it's it's just you know it's

[00:37:26] inevitable and it's the same thing that I was talking about with Chevy crawfish comic about AI

[00:37:32] and like people are so ready to even if they ostensibly don't support it they're so ready

[00:37:36] to be like I admit defeat already they are ready to have a decision made for them is what it is

[00:37:41] just like I'm ready for a huge tree of choices in my life to go away

[00:37:49] you know what it fucking is dude it's they don't understand that complaining kicks ass they have

[00:37:57] this feeling that like well it's inevitable that things will go this way then just looking at the

[00:38:01] writing on the wall and there will be and it will be that everyone gets a big car it will be

[00:38:05] that there's AI everywhere in tv and movies and websites and like maybe that's true maybe they're

[00:38:12] right I doubt it about AI because it sucks a bit maybe but the thing is the cock behavior of admitting

[00:38:19] defeat immediately is like it's it's it's it's some pure shit because it's like well the only

[00:38:26] thing I could do is complain and no one likes a whiner so I'm gonna admit defeat and spread my

[00:38:31] fucking legs and expose my belly so that they can have their way with me and it's like uh no I'm

[00:38:36] gonna fucking complain and moan and yell the whole time forever it's right to yell complain

[00:38:44] it is really funny that like this conversation does not apply to someone on a bike uh and it

[00:38:51] just cannot like be perceived as a related problem yeah I was thinking of another

[00:39:00] similar blue check post off the top of my head which was just similarly dumb which is like

[00:39:06] it was like this one in the sense that like okay this is like a dumb guy's reaction to a thing

[00:39:12] but if we take his logic to the extreme and actually applied it at large the implications

[00:39:19] are actually very scary uh one of them and he was a real estate guy so you know like all his

[00:39:23] posts are garbage he's trying to get you to buy a house in Arizona or something but he he had said

[00:39:30] that I think and I'm sure the left will be angry at me for this that once you stop paying the

[00:39:37] mortgage like once your mortgage is paid off you shouldn't have to pay property taxes and uh

[00:39:43] dude so like that's like a dumb guy thing because like I don't oh yes I don't want to pay taxes

[00:39:48] whatever but but like is he under the impression that like all city services are funded by like

[00:39:56] active mortgages because if you're just buying places for cash you see how you just beat the

[00:40:03] game forever I mean that's what he why uh I I want to uh I don't want to go too much longer on

[00:40:13] this stupid post but this little exchange with the freak where he just refuses to see reason

[00:40:18] is giving is as as the British say doing me add in um someone's like hey here's evidence that

[00:40:26] hitting someone with these huge trucks kills them immediately uh based on science and this person

[00:40:31] says I just like what I'm saying is I don't I want my family in a car that's most likely to

[00:40:35] keep them alive I don't want anybody to get hurt the person says I believe you I'm almost

[00:40:40] losing a loved one is awful but let's rephrase the question what are you gonna do to protect vulnerable

[00:40:45] road users uh your big car doesn't do that and so he says I'm gonna drive as safely as I possibly can

[00:40:51] because I always do and someone replies with the this is the key to all of it well the safest

[00:40:57] way to drive is not to and this is this is the sentence written on the one ring this is like in

[00:41:04] the black tongue that is the most evil thing is that the safest way to drive is not to

[00:41:09] reply doesn't work in the suburbs unfortunately and it's just like yeah I know like that's

[00:41:17] it's cool there's like so many intersections of uh public infrastructure failure happening here

[00:41:23] like the amount of things you would have to change about the world to make this guy even start to

[00:41:28] consider not driving is insane like he would never do it because he's likely car brain uh but

[00:41:35] yeah Jesus Christ okay this guy this one was too heavy I want to do something lighthearted

[00:41:41] can I play you a video of the honorable mayor of New York City Mr. Eric Adams uh

[00:41:49] I'd love to play this video for you can I do that yeah yeah yeah yeah he's so uh I've been following

[00:41:56] his mayoral career uh on top of all the things that suck about him he's also very weird he's just

[00:42:05] a weird guy so this is a I always call it a sketch you got that lorry lightfoot mentality

[00:42:12] it's not a sketch it is Eric Adams is trying to tell parents how to make sure their children

[00:42:18] aren't hiding a drug habit you know that's legitimate you never know who might be hooked on drugs

[00:42:24] and if your child's hooked on drugs you want to know so you can help them out as soon as possible

[00:42:28] before things get too bad and they're gonna want to hide it from you because they're ashamed and

[00:42:32] think you're gonna get in trouble they don't know that you love them and you're gonna support them

[00:42:36] even if they did wrong so you know in a way Eric Adams is uh noble for doing this uh but

[00:42:44] the way he has done it in the words of stimulant enjoyer the poster sharing this video is that

[00:42:49] out of context this is like a tim heidecker sketch and wow is it ever i will play it now

[00:42:56] you can look at the jewelry box a jewelry box of this nature's maybe a simple jewelry box but if you

[00:43:01] look through it closely you don't know what your child may be hiding for instance a gun

[00:43:08] behind them cameras try to determine what's what's taking place behind a picture frame you

[00:43:13] can find bullets you should always when your child bring in his popular knapsack with many

[00:43:19] different locations look through it to see what exactly is your child carrying in addition to a book

[00:43:26] something simple as a crack pipe something simple as a as a baby doll could be just a baby doll but

[00:43:32] also it could be a place where you could secrete or hide drugs he put the drugs in there though

[00:43:38] he really is a good guy with the button

[00:43:45] i felt something bumpy i will reach in see what it is just inside your bookcase

[00:43:52] be more than just books perfect place to hide a cocaine it would be so funny if uh

[00:43:59] it cut to like a panicked woman in the kitchen on the phone she's like the mayor is in here and

[00:44:03] she's she's just going through all my shit the number of times he fucking just calmly pulls out a gun

[00:44:15] so when he pulls out the gun for the first time they cut it very quickly which makes it a hundred

[00:44:21] times funnier because like it's barely visible before it's like a jump cut yes uh the phrase

[00:44:30] is your child's popular knapsack with its many different locations

[00:44:37] so good so good uh i love his like again let's go back to how you were talking about the chuck

[00:44:44] lending paragraph like what actually is the advice like it's like trust no one there are drugs

[00:44:49] everywhere behind a picture frame there could be bullets and it's like man there's hardly a spot

[00:44:57] on earth that that is not true for you know how small bullets are they could be behind anything

[00:45:07] also your kids probably keeping the bullets by the gun

[00:45:16] oh good this was a public service right like this was like oh ah yes this is helpful information

[00:45:22] for my family yeah uh because he knows about all these kids have popular knapsacks in a different

[00:45:28] location i love this shit it's so good speaking new york is really going nutty um i don't have a

[00:45:35] post for this one but you remember when and it's gonna sound racist when i say this but this is

[00:45:41] legitimately what they were but do you remember the new york jew tunnels oh man i i read that

[00:45:46] and i was like imagine you're at work and you are trying to describe the story to a co-worker

[00:45:53] and you're just like let me tell you what just happened how do you do that without sounding

[00:45:56] like incredibly medieval uh i like uh just like it like you're doing some really old blood

[00:46:04] libel stuff you know it sounds bad dude i mean like jew is a fraught word because it is the only

[00:46:12] legitimate word for a minority group that is its own slur and depends entirely on tone i that you know

[00:46:21] luis ck was addicted to jacking off and doing other stuff but i think that was one of his

[00:46:25] his points it was just like it's the word where like the slur is it with some stank on it

[00:46:30] and yeah that he's correct on that unfortunately and when you say jew tunnels that's

[00:46:37] just like that sounds like something like how often like when were tunnels a thing report when

[00:46:43] we're tunnels cutting edge like the middle ages but and it's like oh i know how they felt about

[00:46:47] jews in the middle age is bad so like a jew tunnel is like really hateful but like no it was tunnels

[00:46:54] that only jews knew about that they used to scurry around from building to building you were

[00:47:01] like immediately jealous right because i got to dig with their voice okay they got to dig with

[00:47:06] their voice they got to go to different buildings without going outside because it's cold sometimes

[00:47:13] yeah and it was like uh i don't i i don't believe it was structurally sound i believe it actually

[00:47:18] was a danger all told but it was nonetheless sort of like an engineering achievement if nothing else

[00:47:26] that's an insane amount of dirt and like debris to get rid of in new york city

[00:47:39] were they just coming out with all this dirt from the basement i don't know

[00:47:43] i don't know it's really cool i mean if nothing i'm just jealous there was that video

[00:47:48] where there was one of those guys with the big hat and the curly sideburns coming out of a hole

[00:47:53] in the sidewalk and just like it's normal and it's just like see this is okay i hate when new york people

[00:47:59] are like bodegas baby greatest city in the world i'm like it's oh your city's not so i'll tell you

[00:48:04] what makes actually that city's pretty special the fast travel tunnels make new york city the

[00:48:10] greatest city in the world yeah for real i'm into it god we you know what we need to do i

[00:48:16] talked about this with you because you actually live pretty close there we need to go to mani's soon

[00:48:23] because uh i think that you know the american jewish culture is like top tier in the world

[00:48:33] give me a pastrami sandwich that's like a foot tall it's so fucking good and the way you get

[00:48:38] it here's how you do it there's just a big around the room there's a big like cafeteria

[00:48:43] bar type thing with the sneeze guard and there's people behind and there's just piles of food and

[00:48:48] you go up and you say hey i'd like some of that shit please and they give it to you and they give

[00:48:52] you a little ticket that they print out and you sit down and you eat it and at any time you want

[00:48:58] more you just do that again and you get an additional ticket and then when you go out the door

[00:49:00] you hand all your tickets to the lady and then you pay them out and so you spend all day

[00:49:08] yammering with your boys drinking coffee eating pastrami and everywhere you look there are tables

[00:49:15] in a big grid of other boys with their boys doing the very same thing and it's just like

[00:49:21] this is what like they got it yeah like first try oh man speaking of how people feel about jews

[00:49:31] this is a great example of someone who is this is something that we've encountered a few times

[00:49:37] where someone is trying to publicly and uh i wouldn't say purchasing but they're trying to show like

[00:49:43] i see some racism here and i hate it i don't like that i'm calling it out and usually that's a great

[00:49:51] impulse but sometimes the thing that they're calling out they brought the racism from home

[00:49:57] like there's there wasn't any there they they made a connection in their head b y o r yes uh so

[00:50:05] you may or you may recall that for a while there was a big hubbub in chicago over the chicago rat hole

[00:50:11] yeah if you don't know what that is joe he explains chicago yeah so things don't happen around here

[00:50:15] too often like there's that fire um a while ago i hated yeah but now uh what happened is

[00:50:23] clearly like a rat was pan caked into wet cement uh in the neighborhood i think was uh

[00:50:31] rascal village yes uh and it's just like clearly like a rat hole and like everyone was like oh it's

[00:50:38] so fun and they started like it started it became a social media thing so then it was paved over

[00:50:44] because like no fun is allowed and that well also because there was always a million annoying people

[00:50:52] taking selfies uh day and night near it and the community was like get these

[00:50:57] fuckers out correct yeah they're annoying uh so anyway it was it was filled in and then it was remade

[00:51:07] and someone this then people started throwing money in it like it's like an offering like now

[00:51:11] it is part of our religion and then this tweet is someone bringing b y or uh it's a picture of the

[00:51:20] rat hole with money in it and he yeah like a couple of coins some pennies and he wrote seems vaguely

[00:51:29] anti-semitic in light of recent events is that's you you did that you did that you did that you

[00:51:35] brought that to the the the hold on uh and like the top comment is by swamp communists which is

[00:51:44] you need a degree in racism to make this connection and that's like really like kind of like it

[00:51:48] it's just like you you are bringing something that doesn't but it's funny that you were framing this

[00:51:54] like i'm the good guy right yeah yes yeah i care about the right things it's like the the awful

[00:52:00] propaganda picture of like the the the jew that the nazis love where they're like got the big nose

[00:52:07] and they're rubbing their hands over some money and it's like this is and it's like being like

[00:52:11] this is so racist it's perfectly fine to be a hook no exactly love money they're oh my god there

[00:52:17] was some statement in the uk which was just like someone i got it remember it was some tori who was

[00:52:24] taking issue with like some banking law and like that would affect you know and it was just like

[00:52:29] you can't what oh my god uh like do you think they it was very like oh my god uh it was rough

[00:52:40] out there you know i want to get off of the uh this topic but i do have to have way more i do

[00:52:47] want to talk about what which this is different because this is israel the country in their geopolitical

[00:52:54] actions has nothing to do with my feelings but the noble jewish people who i support this is by a news

[00:53:01] network from uh the country of israel a public broadcasting corporation they posted this on x

[00:53:06] the everything app on january 10th 2024 this is not part of a thread they just decided to drop this

[00:53:13] in the middle of the day for fun approximately 100 sperm extractions have been performed

[00:53:20] from soldiers and civilians who were killed since the beginning of the war

[00:53:25] like approximately 70 sperm extractions were performed from cavities since the beginning

[00:53:29] of the ground maneuver in gaza in total since the outbreak of the war 88 extractions have been

[00:53:34] conducted from fallen soldiers and another 10 from civilians unprovoked like uh they just

[00:53:42] stood up like the norman rockwell saying a statement guy that famous painting uh and just let everybody

[00:53:48] know that they've been extracting cum yeah it's the i just looked at it's called the freedom of

[00:53:52] speech by norman rockwell he looks like he's actually saying like with his mouth

[00:54:00] for real just like just so you know we have deployed the corpse jacking off machine

[00:54:08] to retrieve our noble hero's seed so that they could have their come around still

[00:54:17] the joe the it's very funny to imagine the corpse jacking off robot jacking off 90 men

[00:54:25] but the thing that is driving me nuts is another 10 from civilians

[00:54:32] well how did they line that up i maybe they had to like calibrate the machine

[00:54:38] i'm just like i'm talking about logistically like like if i want to be an organ donor i check a

[00:54:43] box on my form at the dmv and then when i die in an accident my organs if i'm honest what if i have

[00:54:51] if i have invested rnd dollars in time into a sperm extractor i'm not checking to see if his

[00:54:58] id has the right kind of like donor classification i'm sure they were just

[00:55:05] saying willy nilly applying this uh because that's what it is it's it they it was a collectathon

[00:55:13] show here's a this is a nice quick one this is very silly very good and i think uh it's a

[00:55:20] nice palette cleanser so we can get on to lighter topics someone a guy named uh patrick

[00:55:26] cadu said oh that sounds like canoe okay so patrick could do i'm learning has done an engagement

[00:55:34] bait post where he says what are your red flags when hiring i want your spiciest takes only

[00:55:39] so i'm expecting that there's this is just a screenshot i'm expecting that in the actual

[00:55:43] thread there's a lot of like when they're a minority uh but no we got a funnier one

[00:55:48] jugny read the response yeah nicknames that indicate poor hygiene smelly or stinky are red flags

[00:55:56] so here's my first thing i like okay let's say you smell like shit all the time uh

[00:56:04] let's say you just have body odor issues you struggle with that's fine is there a part on the

[00:56:09] resume where you list your unflattering nicknames it's just like please tell me how you've been

[00:56:16] bullied in the past how would your nicknames even come up like if you earned somehow through like

[00:56:22] organic means the nickname like huge dick stevensson like you wouldn't be like by the way folks yeah i

[00:56:31] know we've been talking about my qualifications for this job but i just want you to know that

[00:56:36] some people call me huge dick stevensson you can guess why and it's just like it just doesn't

[00:56:41] come up and also like the implication that this is like a shrewd insight that i've had over my years

[00:56:50] as a hiring manager i would love like if i could give this person a direct question only one

[00:56:58] that they have to respond to and they can't run away which is what do you think happens

[00:57:03] when someone is hired like just just like the actual steps we're telling you they probably get

[00:57:10] there's an interview i just don't know where the bad nicknames might come up also you don't need

[00:57:17] nicknames to indicate poor hygiene because it's self-evident like the idea that they are like

[00:57:23] not smelling great but their name their nickname is like normal it's like oh okay well that's fine

[00:57:29] it's only an issue when they are both the smelly guy and their name is smelly guy because i mean

[00:57:36] if the nickname is not there maybe it's just a bad day if it's like hello my name is uh alex

[00:57:42] stevensson but uh you can call me stinky because my friends call me that so like it would never have

[00:57:50] like the only feasible way i could see this coming up and this makes no sense is if the interviewer

[00:57:56] was just like hey what are some nicknames you've had in the past good or bad don't hold back i mean

[00:58:02] i'll tell you right i'm not a great interviewer i'm not an expert but even i know the right answer

[00:58:06] perfect job if you were i don't have any oh okay that just shows out ignorant i'm about to say

[00:58:13] perfect job doer i would say big dick stevensson huge dick stevensson i should say uh mr obedient

[00:58:22] the prize hog who'll do anything you say all these will get you a job nicknames indicate

[00:58:29] thanks man um the nicknames here's another that framing is like i'm being a smart i am saying this

[00:58:34] in a smart way which is wonderful most people when they hear a nickname they think how interesting

[00:58:40] what i do that goes a step further that makes me have incredible knowledge that i need to share

[00:58:46] is that sometimes i play Sherlock Holmes with these nicknames and try to figure out what could

[00:58:51] have possibly happened to make it like the bbc uh research lock where you he's like all the

[00:58:56] words that he's thinking are flying by his head and it's just like stinky smelly shit like it's all

[00:59:01] the all the bad words that uh might indicate poor hygiene i love how um i mean i know it's passe now

[00:59:07] to say that dbc sure lock is played and it is but i just i cannot let it be unremarked upon that

[00:59:13] that iconic ridiculous scene of surelock wiggling his hands around his head and words showing up

[00:59:19] and him going oh with the words the upshot of it is he uses logic to determine what someone's

[00:59:26] password would be on the computer it's like maybe they use a password manager it was randomly

[00:59:32] generated man no credible you linked me this one to be on this is one i had to look at a while

[00:59:39] because i like couldn't untangle what i was seeing exactly uh so uh here is the the accompanying

[00:59:47] text on on these two images is this is from sparrow ador as in lover of sparrows adore them uh i wonder

[00:59:56] if they know bird respect or they probably got some common ground there uh i know twitter is cooked

[01:00:02] but facebook is beyond cooked uh show before we go any further have you been on facebook no i i

[01:00:07] not like used it i think i closed everything will close like it's all the f***ing there but i said

[01:00:14] please make this inactive in like 2015 uh i briefly yeah had to enable it for like

[01:00:24] dating apps in 2018 but then i f***ing turned that s*** off again yeah i haven't been on since 2020 and

[01:00:35] for that i was only on one day a month in order to set up a facebook event for the skewer live

[01:00:44] comedy show that i put on because that is i can't believe that no other site has even attempted

[01:00:53] to match that functionality of facebook events it is the one thing that facebook did

[01:00:58] competently so i had to do facebook events for my show um but you know i i didn't use it wasn't

[01:01:04] reading posts and i haven't opened facebook.com since 2020 because we stopped doing live shows

[01:01:12] so i don't i didn't know what was going on there uh but apparently it is beyond cooked let me uh

[01:01:19] describe let me describe a post start with the account name i guess

[01:01:27] it's from an account called adorable cat and uh it's a it's an image post and uh adorable cat has

[01:01:36] accompanied it with this text the text is today is my birthday hope i guess i'm love here heart

[01:01:43] emoji and the uh the image is an ai generated image you can tell because the skin and

[01:01:51] proportions of the people in the photo are insane and also uh one of the two people who i'll describe

[01:02:00] momentarily is wearing a hoodie that says the following text uh lev bonds and then under that

[01:02:08] h h h o s e e s you know ai can't do hands well i guess it can't do words either

[01:02:15] yeah so what we're seeing here is this is a picture of a man visiting another man in the hospital

[01:02:24] the man in the hospital bed is nba star anthony davis who is emaciated to a truly horrifying degree

[01:02:35] uh we're talking about skeleton skin skeleton clinging like use of skeleton like he

[01:02:42] the only thing that's on him that isn't bones is the skin and it's not even loose the skin is

[01:02:48] like getting it's like when you're vacuum sealing something with that that system that you saw on

[01:02:54] on commercials when you were a kid where you stick the uh vacuum cleaner tube in this little hole

[01:03:00] like his skin is doing that to his skeleton he looks uh on death's door he has like one million

[01:03:07] little paper bracelets on his on his soon to be dead wrists uh indicating that he is in the hospital

[01:03:15] sitting next to him is a uh approximation of basketball star lepran james looking fit as anything

[01:03:25] smiling with a look of total confidence as anthony davis looks to be an abject agony as he

[01:03:35] breathes his last he's visiting him in hospice care again this is uh image posted by adorable cat

[01:03:43] saying today is my birthday hope i get some love here now when a normal person sees this image when

[01:03:47] we see this image we are uh horrified uh disgusted maybe even maybe perhaps a little I grab it and

[01:03:54] point at it like look at this fucked up bug i found but it's not a positive feeling every

[01:04:01] single comment on adorable cat's post is your me ma going happy birthday

[01:04:10] just post after post happy birthday happy birthday um there's another one I can't find it right now

[01:04:17] but i've seen it going around that there is a facebook post that is an AI generated image of uh

[01:04:26] little boy standing in front of something which the implication is this is my like I made this

[01:04:31] this is my art and what he's standing in front of is a life-sized like construction digger uh

[01:04:38] for like digging holes with like the treads and everything uh except it's made entirely out

[01:04:43] of green onions and again every single comment is your grandma saying like you are a fine young

[01:04:49] man good job well done looks great so this is like really scary scary right it makes money too somehow

[01:04:57] I don't I don't understand the inputs but this makes people ridger somehow I mean it must be like

[01:05:04] if these are people who see that picture of Anthony Davis and and

[01:05:08] brawn james or again Anthony Davis is a living skeleton on death's door and their reaction is

[01:05:16] this seems real happy birthday buddy um like that's the kind of person who like a pop-up could come up

[01:05:23] and be like hello by looking at this image you're allowing us to take all of your data and sell it

[01:05:28] to Hitler they're probably like yes fine what am I gonna do with my data it's like hmm like I've said

[01:05:37] I have suggested that I don't think AI is as inevitable as people say both because I just

[01:05:42] want to complain about it I don't want to give in and also because I don't think people are ever

[01:05:46] gonna like it because it'll always be kind of crappy right uh even it's like oh it's gonna get

[01:05:51] even more slick and it's like yeah it'll slick doesn't mean good like it'll get really slick

[01:05:55] and it'll look identical to slick crap that humans write but people don't like that now either

[01:06:02] so I think it like whatever however this is sort of challenging my view because like oh

[01:06:09] when I run the situation in my head uh I'm not taking into account the billions of fucking morons

[01:06:17] who see these images and are like yeah that's great I mean then apparently that's all Facebook is

[01:06:23] I was there was just a fucking you know Perry Bible Fellowship the comic classic I just saw he

[01:06:29] posted a big comic on Twitter today about how his Facebook got taken over he's like yeah the

[01:06:34] Perry Bible Ship page on Facebook now is just posting AI shit and scams because someone got it

[01:06:40] and I don't know how to get it back it's like that's just what this site is now it's because you know

[01:06:46] what it is it's because Facebook is like fully they fully pivoted to the stupid headsets and

[01:06:51] then no one wanted them so they're fully pivoting to AI and like the actual site facebook.com

[01:06:56] like doesn't make them any money anymore since Apple changed their privacy policy to make being

[01:07:01] insanely evil slightly more difficult so like facebook.com as a product is like useless to their

[01:07:07] business plan but it's bad PR to shut it down so they just I don't think they are looking at it

[01:07:12] at all I think you can just do anything there as long as it's not like good well yes I mean that

[01:07:19] goes without saying um that one made me feel down I want to talk about a post that kind of

[01:07:25] makes me feel good and it makes me feel good because like this is this is there's no malice here a lot

[01:07:31] of the posts we've been talking about have like evil laced into them like that one the

[01:07:35] fucking facebook AI shit that's full of evil this satan did that this one has no malice and

[01:07:41] it's just like pure naivete this is like oh this is like the emptiest brain this is someone

[01:07:46] who just came out of the plate okay if it doesn't know what anything is yet how adorable I love

[01:07:53] this this is a post that was shared by Brandon Taylor an author of such novels as real life

[01:08:00] and the late americans I know that from looking at his bio he has that cropped the name of the person

[01:08:09] out of this and says don't track them down let them live in peace utterly tranquil and I agree with

[01:08:14] them this is what the post has to say maybe it's just me but it seems to me that in Jane

[01:08:22] Austin's novels money as a motive to marry seems common and a higher priority than love or even

[01:08:29] liking your intended better half I'm just gonna make an aside here yes it does seem like that

[01:08:34] when it comes to partners I've never really given thought to the others earning potential

[01:08:38] or lack thereof but for me liking the person is very high on my list for potential romance

[01:08:44] I guess I'm just weird and wouldn't have fit in in Jane's world

[01:08:49] you get think about who else might not have fit in perhaps the protagonist of the fucking books I do

[01:08:55] get that the options for women to have a career and be self-reliant have changed since the 1790s

[01:09:01] yeah a bit I am guessing that money was more important to women at that time because of their

[01:09:07] limited earning potential yeah yeah I'd say so I love this because this is just again there's no

[01:09:20] malice to this this is just a person who thinks books are accidents they think that when Jane Austin

[01:09:28] sat down to write it like it didn't reflect anything that was happening it was just like

[01:09:32] these are the these little situations came out of my fingers and were not informed by the fact that

[01:09:38] like basically since we crawled down from the trees we have been marrying for money yeah I am

[01:09:46] guessing that it was due to their limited earning potential like see this is why I can't hate

[01:09:50] this person because like they're right they are right they're they're right but the issue is

[01:09:56] they're they're correct and their head is in a shoebox and you just need to like get them to

[01:10:00] just like zoom out a little bit it's like yes you you you aren't wrong saying her earning potential

[01:10:12] was lower however you aren't wrong yeah you aren't wrong saying that it seems like money

[01:10:18] was a higher priority you aren't wrong by saying you wouldn't fit in we just we just you just

[01:10:24] need to like understand that there's also a larger context that those things fit into uh that isn't an

[01:10:32] accident I you know what I think it kind of is this person is right but they think that they have

[01:10:40] they think that like I got no idea what's going on with this book this book is really confusing to

[01:10:45] me I have these thoughts but I guess maybe I'm just crazy and it's like no no no no no no

[01:10:51] no no no no you're like that oh I think this is sort of the the mirror image of thinking that books

[01:10:58] are accidents that again they just spilled words and they're like I don't know what the fuck that was

[01:11:04] I guess I'll publish it people I think this could be it this could be a symptom of bad

[01:11:09] English teaching bad English classes I think what it is is a lot of people don't think they're

[01:11:15] allowed to have a reaction to a book that isn't I liked it or I did especially if it's anything

[01:11:22] considered classical or within the canon because it's just like I am experiencing the important work

[01:11:28] and I liked it yes someone needs to fucking sit these people down and be like you don't

[01:11:32] understand it the main point even at the time this is not like a new thing like at the time

[01:11:38] the main point of the novels was for you to have a reaction to them that was like what it was

[01:11:44] for as a Jane Austen wanted you to do the fact that you think hey this focus on money is a little

[01:11:51] weird I don't think it feels very good to go through that it's like yes yes one more step

[01:12:00] just like one little more step I mean like a lot of people have this going on in their brains

[01:12:09] but this post is just so beautiful because it's with perhaps the least subtle author in the entire

[01:12:16] western canon like it takes really not very much time or thought to get to the conclusion of

[01:12:25] Jane Austen's making fun of how romance is done back then but this is also like half of all

[01:12:31] Goodreads reviews like you should not look at Goodreads if you want to further your

[01:12:37] understanding of something you've read just like Tom and I have said this before but

[01:12:44] one of our favorite types of this and this person we talked about is a little bit like this but not

[01:12:48] as annoying because the person is like sincere it's like I just I don't you know like I just

[01:12:54] they just need that little additional push the the funniest people are like the I don't

[01:13:00] understand why this the character in this book had difficulty why did they not simply X Y or Z

[01:13:05] and instead do that to solve all the problems and it's just like I guess if that is your approach

[01:13:12] to how you're going to read everything then like what can we say because you're going

[01:13:17] your books are the thing where you read about something bad happening to somebody and then

[01:13:22] you later tell people on the internet this wouldn't happen to me because I would have done this

[01:13:27] I would a perfect period I mean this is the kind of person who I think AI

[01:13:31] novels would appeal to and we kind of people who like just want a list of tropes the tropes they

[01:13:37] like and just like just give me a book that has all of them and if it doesn't have them I'm mad

[01:13:40] it's just like because I mean if all you need is a checklist you just prompt the AI to

[01:13:45] fill out the checklist and like we done like it's fine I haven't read this book and I don't

[01:13:51] I can't say if it's good or not some people say it's good some people say it's bad I don't

[01:13:55] want to put out my opinions but I remember when it was new the book Gideon the ninth

[01:14:02] every single blurb about it that I would see any post about it and I would even see in bookstores

[01:14:08] like the little placard like the little staff recommendation and almost 201 every one of those

[01:14:13] little recommendations they all said a very similar thing which is um freaking lesbian

[01:14:20] necromancers sword fighting in space need I say more let me just answer that for you yes you

[01:14:27] fucking do like yes like you got it like those pieces are good but like okay yeah you have not

[01:14:34] even begin to say enough like is it good like I can write write some shit about lesbian necromancers

[01:14:41] in space on chat gpt and then could I then publish that and say need I say more no because

[01:14:49] it would suck ass like ah you know the it is not exactly this but I can't help but shake

[01:14:56] this feeling when you do this move when you're like just making everything seem like here's the

[01:15:01] quirky attributes may I do I need to say more like obviously by virtue of its its its corginess

[01:15:09] it stands on its own isn't that like how light novels work or they basically just tell

[01:15:14] me like all this shit is happening in it they're just like I am stuck in the dungeon of breasts and

[01:15:21] I have no hands and I gotta touch all the like like you like literally know everything at the top

[01:15:27] yes yes yes the only shit show that's you need to get in touch with these publishers and like

[01:15:32] your entire titling scheme a noun of noun and noun like a song of bone and ash and like

[01:15:39] that's that's how they do it now that's played what you need to do is be like I got trapped in a

[01:15:45] in a necromancy ship with the lesbian and there's only one bed but I'm a lesbian

[01:15:49] yeah it's actually run out of space for the title uh it should like run off the top

[01:15:56] or something uh but yeah I mean it's the same sort of thing and yeah I guess if you just

[01:16:01] want your little checkboxes checked and there's no shame in that because like

[01:16:06] slop is slop yeah I like slop too but I think the difference is I don't know what the difference is

[01:16:16] have you ever heard the insane song from the 90s fantastic four cartoon no okay I showed this to

[01:16:23] my wife recently thinking that maybe she would find it a little bit funny it's one of those things

[01:16:28] that I have that is like kind of a crawfish comic uh chaos nugget we're just like I see it and

[01:16:34] it's like okay my brain is gonna be running this on a loop for like a couple of days and like I know

[01:16:41] almost every line and every weird animation idiosyncrasy and the exciting million times I showed it

[01:16:47] my wife thinking she'd be like ha ha that's funny it happened to her too she got infected just as

[01:16:52] hard and I'm like oh hell yeah I'm not I'm not well I am insane but I'm not insane in the way

[01:16:56] that is unique and thus dangerous so there was in the 90s a human torch cart no human torch a

[01:17:05] fantastic four cartoon you know because there was the X-men no no no no no there was spider man there

[01:17:11] was all those all these comic books had cartoons for kids and there's a fantastic four one obviously

[01:17:17] you don't remember this because it was a huge fucking flop there is an episode I guess where

[01:17:23] the human torch one of the fantastic four is at a fancy dress party and he is going to sing a song

[01:17:32] and then they show the song he sings it and I don't know I would love to have an oral history

[01:17:38] of this because the visuals seem to indicate that he is crooning like a like your classic

[01:17:46] Frank Sinatra's like your Tony Bennett's like your Mel Tormes he's in a suit with a puffy shirt

[01:17:52] he's up on a dais there's a conductor in the background conducting like an orchestra

[01:17:58] you think he's gonna be crooning and his lip syncing seems to indicate that he's singing a song

[01:18:03] that's sort of like mid-tempo like a crooner song that is not the song that plays the song that plays

[01:18:12] show I swear to god you're gonna think is like a shitpost this is it uh the

[01:18:19] the

[01:18:22] the uh prevailing theories that the voice actor for the human torch wanted to have a music career in

[01:18:28] this genre you'll find out which is it's getting we'll see it's not far off he's like can I do it

[01:18:35] in my in my way and they said yeah no one's watching this fucking show and uh we won't fix the

[01:18:42] animation that shows you crooning because who cares no one's watching this shit uh and I just

[01:18:49] gonna play it again also the voice actor uh is like a fairly successful actor who was married to

[01:18:55] Megan Fox for a number of years and so that's who's gonna be singing this song three two one let's go

[01:19:13] like

[01:19:15] I'm just watching Joe on the video call.

[01:19:38] It's incredible.

[01:20:08] Why is there a band that has a conductor that's fucking insane?

[01:20:20] There's no sounds being played by a band.

[01:20:31] This is for you Melinda.

[01:20:32] I hope you like it.

[01:20:34] So that was MC Chris, right?

[01:20:37] That was Brian Austin Green, voice actor of the human torch.

[01:20:41] He was on Beverly Hills now in 210 for 10 years.

[01:20:45] He was a series regular and terminator, the sericon of chronicles and anger management.

[01:20:49] Again, he was married to Megan Fox from 2010 to 2021.

[01:20:53] Was he trying to do like a one person Beastie Boys thing?

[01:20:55] It is impossible to describe why anyone would do what he has done.

[01:21:01] I just want to share with you this is something that I discovered going frame by

[01:21:06] frame with the animation.

[01:21:08] This is the I'm going to share in the chat the frame of animation that is the last one

[01:21:15] before he turns into the human torch and it becomes a fire guy.

[01:21:20] And I'm just like wondering what artist drew this and it's like this will do.

[01:21:27] This is fine.

[01:21:28] Can you describe it for the class?

[01:21:30] It's the scream like the painting but also the mask.

[01:21:39] It's Roger Rabbit shit.

[01:21:41] Yeah.

[01:21:42] He raps the squeakiest rap about how you don't want to look aloof and hard to get because

[01:21:48] then a girl will think well he's not interested and move on.

[01:21:53] And it is wamped like why is he rapping like that?

[01:21:56] That's the thing that I don't get.

[01:21:58] I understand a white boy thinking he's got swag in the early 90s being like I gotta get

[01:22:03] me a rap.

[01:22:04] But the first 30 seconds he's not even like rapping it's just like him saying.

[01:22:10] He say all his little sounds.

[01:22:15] He says which I never want to know the context for this.

[01:22:19] He says this is for you Melinda.

[01:22:21] I don't feel like it but it's just like he's already talking in his rap voice which

[01:22:26] again is this.

[01:22:28] He sounds like he's putting on a nerd impression.

[01:22:31] It's like MC Chris.

[01:22:32] What are we doing here?

[01:22:33] I'm fully aware that MC Chris' voice is like that.

[01:22:37] MC Chris is doing comedy.

[01:22:39] He's funny.

[01:22:40] You can write pretty well too.

[01:22:41] And now he can rap decently too.

[01:22:44] This is...

[01:22:45] Honestly if you took out the music you'd be like yeah this is just word jazz.

[01:22:51] When he's swaying back and forth and going oh this is what you will end up at the beginning.

[01:22:56] It's what's truly funny is that they still sort of have animated him singing so his mouth

[01:23:03] is just going.

[01:23:04] This is a black tie event.

[01:23:05] I need to reiterate that there's a bunch of rich people watching him do this rap which

[01:23:10] is amazing.

[01:23:11] There's a cut to a woman in like a cocktail dress and it's just like her looking on

[01:23:17] it's like a normal sort of B-Shop.

[01:23:19] It's just a fact that you are reminded that there's other humanity in place here.

[01:23:24] It's just fucking funny.

[01:23:26] It's funny on its face and it's also yes it's funny to imagine like you're at a black tie

[01:23:30] event with like science gods who are superheroes and they're like hello everybody thank you

[01:23:36] for coming.

[01:23:37] My fucking brother-in-law is about to rap for you.

[01:23:43] Please enjoy.

[01:23:44] And he's like oh actually I need to put this out.

[01:23:49] I usually cut it off at the end of the rap because it's not funny anymore but like something

[01:23:54] some fucking Dr. Doom's scheme I guess happens and the building therein starts to fall into

[01:24:00] the ground and the human torch realizing oh we're in a superhero scenario right now

[01:24:06] says flame on seriously because like it's time for battle yeah.

[01:24:13] And like the juxtaposition of his normal voice to his rapping.

[01:24:18] How do you not know your normal voice sounds so much better.

[01:24:21] Again this is why I need an oral history of this scene because so many decisions that

[01:24:26] were made like why is it the drippiest beat of all time.

[01:24:30] People in the comments are saying like actually the producer on this worked with the far

[01:24:34] side and it's like yeah shit is that true I have no way of knowing but it sounds

[01:24:38] like it could be true because if you listen to the fucking bizarre ride to the far

[01:24:40] side the beats sound like that and like the far side can actually rap over those

[01:24:46] beats and it makes sense.

[01:24:48] This guy can't because he's talking like this but like my god imagine you're a kid watching

[01:24:54] the fantastic Ford cartoon and you're just like what the shit.

[01:24:58] I will know I have no interest ever the fantastic four has always had negative

[01:25:04] risk for me.

[01:25:06] I don't I don't care the best fantastic four is the venture brothers.

[01:25:12] Yeah but granted they did this like rap all the time now maybe the series would

[01:25:21] have juice so they're making a Marvel movie fantastic for they're trying to

[01:25:26] make this be like the great hope of the MCU it won't it'll be a big flop

[01:25:32] because no one gives a shit about this movie anymore they haven't given a shit

[01:25:35] about the fantastic for a movie yet because they're not like cool enough

[01:25:38] because if you were good inherently they would have done it already so to pin your

[01:25:42] hopes on these guys the negative risk guys it's not gonna work however if a

[01:25:54] good 20 minutes of the films let's say 120 were dedicated to the human torches

[01:26:02] rap career where he performed several raps on as a baby in their entirety as a

[01:26:08] baby wearing a three-piece suit we might I'm just saying let him cook we might

[01:26:16] have something here they have to do practical effects for his weird drippy

[01:26:21] face that's my only stipulation yeah the week day cares and we must end all

[01:26:28] right that's all the time we have for anime sickos as you plainly heard we'll see

[01:26:33] you next time I've been Tom and I've been Joe and anime sicko thank you for

[01:26:36] listening bye thank you for listening to anime sicko I've been Tom a sicko

[01:26:43] you can follow me on Twitter at Tom Harrison 19 Joe was also a sicko you

[01:26:47] follow him on Twitter at Sharia uncle you can follow anime sickos on Twitter at

[01:26:52] anime sickos or email us at anime sickos gmail.com please leave us a review or

[01:26:58] something I don't know tell friend anyway until next time bye

[01:27:17] you