We've had too many high-concept episodes lately that require lots of thought and prep, so we just turned the mic on and had an hour of organic jawing. Just two buds hanging out folks. I think I heard somewhere that people like this sort of thing. Well, I sure hope it's true.
[00:00:00] Hello everybody, welcome to Anime Sickos, it's the podcast for geniuses and the only
[00:00:31] podcast where we take a look at the four pillars of modern misery, anime, gaming, posting and
[00:00:37] jobs.
[00:00:38] I am Tom in Anime Sicko.
[00:00:39] I'm Joe in Anime Sicko.
[00:00:41] Joe, before we get any further, I have to plug something.
[00:00:44] Oh, okay.
[00:00:45] Did you know about this?
[00:00:46] So you remember like a while ago, this person who by the name of Sarah, who we were on
[00:00:55] one, we were on her a Yu-Gi-Oh podcast once.
[00:00:58] Remember this?
[00:00:59] She was like, Hey, you guys are audition for something that we're putting together.
[00:01:02] Yes.
[00:01:03] Yeah, that sounds familiar.
[00:01:06] Did you ever get around to auditioning for that or did you have like a baby?
[00:01:11] I have my tape here.
[00:01:13] I just never got it in the mail.
[00:01:16] Yeah, I sent mine in and I'm like one of the main three characters.
[00:01:20] Like I'm in it.
[00:01:23] This is a show as I'm going to do like a real, I'm going to like read the actual
[00:01:27] copy when the Kickstarter is happening, but I'm just letting you know there's this
[00:01:31] show called The Disappearances of Lydia Fontaine.
[00:01:35] You can go to at Lydia disappears on Twitter.
[00:01:38] It's a fun little show.
[00:01:39] It's kind of spooky and it's an audio drama.
[00:01:44] The first episode is like done and you can listen to it now for free.
[00:01:48] There's going to be a Kickstarter on June 3rd where if it goes well, they're going
[00:01:53] to make a whole season and they're going to fucking pay me to be in it.
[00:01:58] Which like that's cool.
[00:02:00] So you can do that.
[00:02:01] It's kind of spooky.
[00:02:04] You'll check it out maybe, listener.
[00:02:06] Why not?
[00:02:07] Anyway, that's all.
[00:02:08] That's my pitch.
[00:02:09] I'll do the real pitch once like I get told to.
[00:02:10] I just wanted to say something about it.
[00:02:13] You'll be a paid cast member for a seasonally reoccurring show.
[00:02:18] That's better than Super Train.
[00:02:23] They only got one.
[00:02:24] Yeah.
[00:02:25] Although I guess they really wrapped it up.
[00:02:27] got to the other side of the country.
[00:02:29] What else is there to do?
[00:02:31] Super Train is...
[00:02:34] People know what Super Train is.
[00:02:36] I thought you were talking about Super Tramp.
[00:02:39] That fucking album cover with the waitress.
[00:02:43] People tell me that album's good.
[00:02:44] I'm sorry, I'm never going to listen to it because that waitress has got bad
[00:02:48] vibes.
[00:02:49] Yeah.
[00:02:50] No, we are talking one of the stupid projects.
[00:02:57] In my mind, I haven't told Tom this, but we have things that I call momentum projects
[00:03:01] which are just like things that don't really have a real path to ever manifesting in
[00:03:07] a meaningful way.
[00:03:08] But they are a thing to kick back and forth.
[00:03:10] Just keep it going.
[00:03:12] Keep some momentum going.
[00:03:14] Maybe one of these kicks is going to be the one that goes in the goal.
[00:03:17] Yeah.
[00:03:18] The fucking stupid thing I wanted to do was I was like, Tom, do you know about
[00:03:25] the show Super Train?
[00:03:26] He was like, not really.
[00:03:27] He looked it up.
[00:03:28] He was like, well, this sucks.
[00:03:29] I was like...
[00:03:30] If you don't know, I'm going to say in my own words, this is a show from the
[00:03:37] 70s or 80s when they didn't really understand that TV shows could be good.
[00:03:42] They're just like whatever network it was, let's say NBC.
[00:03:45] I'm picking it at random.
[00:03:46] I really hope I'm right.
[00:03:47] I have a one in three chance.
[00:03:49] NBC was like, you know what I think we should do is we should spend all the
[00:03:53] money we have on one show.
[00:03:55] What's the show going to be about?
[00:03:56] It's going to be about a big train that goes back and forth.
[00:04:01] That's it.
[00:04:02] There are so many hitmen.
[00:04:05] I haven't watched it, but I would just watch like what is the issue here
[00:04:08] every episode?
[00:04:09] Like, what's the problem?
[00:04:10] And there's a lot of hitmen kidnapping people, whatever.
[00:04:15] But the point is I wanted to do...
[00:04:18] There's like 15 episodes and then I wanted...
[00:04:22] Like the season ends and then it's like, oh shit, we left someone in Denver.
[00:04:27] And there's...
[00:04:28] Super Train only has one rule, which is you never leave anybody in Denver.
[00:04:33] And then they just throw it in reverse.
[00:04:37] And it was just stupid.
[00:04:40] Like what is some dumb shit you can happen in that context?
[00:04:43] You know what?
[00:04:44] I remember when you said Super Train, I'm like what the fuck?
[00:04:48] But I remember I filled out a spreadsheet with like ideas and characters.
[00:04:52] Yeah.
[00:04:53] This is pretty funny.
[00:04:54] We should do this.
[00:04:55] I think it has the juice.
[00:04:58] Reading about Super Train was amazing because it was very clear to me that
[00:05:06] the people in charge of the show, and this is a good call, I think, but they
[00:05:10] were like train people.
[00:05:13] And then people...
[00:05:16] Like no one's watching this because there's no focus on the people.
[00:05:20] It's too train based.
[00:05:22] And they were like, interesting.
[00:05:25] We will change nothing.
[00:05:27] We spent all the money we had making a real train that moves around so that
[00:05:34] we could have establishing shots of a train.
[00:05:37] And everyone's like, literally who fucking cares about establishing shots?
[00:05:42] And they're like, oh no.
[00:05:43] You know what was really funny is that because, you know, obviously we're not
[00:05:45] going to watch...
[00:05:46] I don't even know if you can watch it.
[00:05:47] Even if it was like on the front page of YouTube for free, we wouldn't
[00:05:52] watch it because are you kidding?
[00:05:54] But the way that we learned about it at all is there's some like
[00:05:59] fucking tripod.com GeoCities ass fan site that has all the Super Train
[00:06:06] facts and it's all out of order.
[00:06:09] Like it's not in order of episodes.
[00:06:11] So it's just like list of characters like Joe, the hitman, Carl, the hitman,
[00:06:16] Billy, the hitman.
[00:06:17] He's trying to get the shot.
[00:06:19] And just like...
[00:06:21] Was there just like one episode where it was oops all hitmen or was it
[00:06:26] like Joe says where it's like every week there's a hitman?
[00:06:29] It's like you open up the panel that's on like the air grate and
[00:06:33] like a bunch of hitmen scurry out and says, ah fuck you got a hitman.
[00:06:36] You have to throw in the gas bomb.
[00:06:38] Get the hitman.
[00:06:39] I'm looking at this fridge.
[00:06:40] I pulled it up.
[00:06:42] Dr. Dan Lewis, the train's doctor, we said he thinks hitmen are really cool
[00:06:49] is like a historian of hitmen.
[00:06:53] But he worked through the train.
[00:06:55] He can't be pro hitman.
[00:06:57] Like that's not a lot.
[00:06:58] He's also a doctor.
[00:06:59] He can't hurt people.
[00:07:01] That's true.
[00:07:02] That's true.
[00:07:02] And if the hitman does his grim work, instead of being able to
[00:07:08] What he wants, he's going to have to undo it.
[00:07:11] Wait, actually, this is so fucking good.
[00:07:13] Rose Casey, the nurse, disappears from the series.
[00:07:18] The stupid modifier we put on it is hates the train, thought she was
[00:07:23] only going to do medical stuff when it was standing still.
[00:07:32] Sorry.
[00:07:33] OK, sometimes I do like I boost the laugh a little, you know,
[00:07:38] because I'm on, because it's like we're performing.
[00:07:41] That fucking hit me right in the chest.
[00:07:44] Jesus.
[00:07:45] Oh man, we've all the hitmen kind of planned out.
[00:07:47] Hitman Dick Van Dyke always tripping over Ottomans.
[00:07:52] Hitman B way too self-aware.
[00:07:55] C thinks the train is a sex train for swingers.
[00:08:00] Kidnapper A didn't get enough sleep.
[00:08:02] Kidnapper B podcast, Kidnapper C, Wasp.
[00:08:06] I assume like white Anglo, not a big bugger.
[00:08:09] Indeed.
[00:08:09] I suppose it's quite a good train.
[00:08:12] It could be both.
[00:08:14] I see that they allow Italians on this train.
[00:08:17] It's not quite as good of a train as I would have had it done.
[00:08:21] You know, he'd be that guy.
[00:08:23] The mob boss.
[00:08:24] You know in Nantucket, the mob boss's main thing is that he
[00:08:30] thinks the trains are not as good as the trains in Europe.
[00:08:34] So he's like right.
[00:08:36] Yeah.
[00:08:36] Oh, I went home to Italy, to Napolitano.
[00:08:41] And I tell you the train's there.
[00:08:43] So the super train's got nothing on the Napolitano trains.
[00:08:49] Hey, Ploy, commendatory.
[00:08:53] This is fucking.
[00:08:55] You see, folks, this is what Anime Circus is all about.
[00:08:58] We're doing an episode with no plan.
[00:09:02] And this is good for two reasons.
[00:09:04] One, it's like we're stretching out
[00:09:06] what we're capable of.
[00:09:07] Like we're trying.
[00:09:08] We're going without a net.
[00:09:09] And also, we didn't fucking remember to make a plan,
[00:09:12] but we need an episode anyway.
[00:09:14] Yeah, and we also have a lot of complaining built up,
[00:09:16] which is cool.
[00:09:18] That's just like free content.
[00:09:22] Saw a tweet that did numbers,
[00:09:23] which was being funny while complaining
[00:09:26] with such a good skill or such a crucial skill.
[00:09:28] And yes, for sure, we've been saying that.
[00:09:30] Are you sure that wasn't like your tweet?
[00:09:32] No, it wasn't.
[00:09:32] We had an entire episode that was just that.
[00:09:34] There was no Hank Hill.
[00:09:35] OK, it wasn't Hank Hill saying it.
[00:09:38] But it's true.
[00:09:39] This is more proof that everyone
[00:09:42] is stealing from our brains and getting rich,
[00:09:44] except for us.
[00:09:45] Yeah.
[00:09:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:09:48] Joe, I recall you told me that you encountered
[00:09:52] a high level rare encounter that had
[00:09:55] a red skull floating above it.
[00:09:56] Tell me more.
[00:09:57] For our first trip with the boy, he is six months now.
[00:10:02] And also, when his birthday, we went to...
[00:10:03] He's so big.
[00:10:04] He is big.
[00:10:05] He is...
[00:10:09] I don't know how else to put this.
[00:10:10] Very cute.
[00:10:11] Love that guy.
[00:10:12] I love to put...
[00:10:17] I get baby clothes now.
[00:10:19] You're just like, oh yeah,
[00:10:19] everything should have fucking dinosaurs.
[00:10:21] That's cute.
[00:10:21] Yes, yes, yes.
[00:10:22] Give me more.
[00:10:25] But we went to Starved Rock in the cabins over there.
[00:10:29] There's a collection of cabins that Tom and I have both stayed at.
[00:10:34] Nice.
[00:10:34] Yeah, they're nice.
[00:10:35] It's by no means roughing it.
[00:10:37] It's a big living room that just happens
[00:10:39] to be made of wood on the outside.
[00:10:41] But you're in the woods.
[00:10:43] Yeah.
[00:10:43] And you're near the state park, which
[00:10:46] is one of the few things in Illinois that is actually
[00:10:50] interesting to look at.
[00:10:51] It's not flat.
[00:10:53] Yeah, yeah.
[00:10:53] There's up and down parts in the state park.
[00:10:56] It's wild.
[00:10:57] But it's a little living room.
[00:10:59] It's got a bathroom.
[00:11:01] It's got a kitchen that works.
[00:11:03] These cabins are pretty nice.
[00:11:05] And ours had a jacuzzi tub.
[00:11:08] We were unpacking.
[00:11:12] And I was walking in there, looked in the jacuzzi jet,
[00:11:17] and I was like, oh, that's gross.
[00:11:18] There's a lock of hair stuck in there.
[00:11:19] That's fucking nasty.
[00:11:21] And then I go back to unpacking.
[00:11:23] And Winnie's like, did you see all that hair sticking out
[00:11:25] of the jet?
[00:11:30] And I was like, yes, it's very gross.
[00:11:32] But wait a minute.
[00:11:34] Why do I sense so much nen coming off this hair?
[00:11:37] What is this killing intent?
[00:11:39] Why is it purple?
[00:11:40] Homie be purple in here.
[00:11:42] I don't get it.
[00:11:43] And then I realized what I was looking at,
[00:11:44] which is the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen
[00:11:45] in my life.
[00:11:46] I live here in Illinois.
[00:11:47] I know there are biggest spiders,
[00:11:48] but this was not part of the agreement.
[00:11:52] I am not bug phobic or spider phobic, really.
[00:11:56] And I like them the neutral amount.
[00:12:01] This absolutely triggered my fight or flight.
[00:12:07] So we left it alone for the first night
[00:12:11] because we're like, maybe it's dead.
[00:12:13] That's why it's not moving.
[00:12:15] Well, in the morning, it was in a very different place,
[00:12:17] still in the tub, but it had moved.
[00:12:19] So that's when I had to be a Second Amendment guy
[00:12:24] and be like, I have to kill to protect my family now.
[00:12:28] I got to say, Joe, that what you've described
[00:12:30] is something that in my mind could never have been done,
[00:12:33] which is going to bed with the spider situation still
[00:12:39] with a question mark on the end.
[00:12:42] I'm sorry.
[00:12:44] I would be like, well, either I'm not sleeping
[00:12:47] or we're leaving.
[00:12:49] We're sleeping.
[00:12:50] It's not here.
[00:12:52] Well, Winnie wasn't as freaked, and it was her birthday.
[00:12:58] So I didn't want to fuck it up too bad.
[00:13:01] It makes sense.
[00:13:02] I'm with you.
[00:13:02] I'm with you.
[00:13:03] That's a good reason.
[00:13:04] So anyway, it came time to end this sucker.
[00:13:08] And I have never squished a spider that
[00:13:12] has had more than one HP.
[00:13:16] Tend to have one HP.
[00:13:18] This did not.
[00:13:19] I smushed it and twisted.
[00:13:21] And when I lifted the smushing and twisting thing up,
[00:13:30] it's like in Monster Hunter where it's fucked up
[00:13:32] and you can capture it now.
[00:13:33] And it was coming at me.
[00:13:36] And a chunk of it was missing.
[00:13:39] There was just a fucking part of it that was gone.
[00:13:42] And also blood, I don't know if I would call it gore,
[00:13:47] but there was too much stuff coming out.
[00:13:49] Like it did not feel like I was killing a spider.
[00:13:55] It felt like mice level, if I'm honest.
[00:13:59] Jesus Christ.
[00:14:03] It was no good.
[00:14:04] And I took pictures of it and I haven't sent it to you
[00:14:08] yet because in order to do that, I have to see him again.
[00:14:11] Yeah, you need to decompress.
[00:14:13] You need to get past your trauma.
[00:14:16] Holy shit.
[00:14:19] I especially like that you told me
[00:14:22] that you and Winnie were like, well, maybe it's a brown recluse.
[00:14:25] Maybe it's dangerous.
[00:14:26] Oh, god, that was so funny.
[00:14:27] It's like I know just from zoo books probably
[00:14:33] that there's only two poisonous types of spiders in Illinois.
[00:14:37] There are black widows and there are brown recluses.
[00:14:41] And I was like, I don't really
[00:14:42] know what a brown recluse looks like.
[00:14:44] So we're like, oh my god.
[00:14:45] Maybe that's what it is.
[00:14:46] We're fucked.
[00:14:47] We're fucked.
[00:14:49] And we looked it up and it was like a brown recluse
[00:14:52] is one inch long.
[00:14:53] And we're like, OK, so that's good
[00:14:54] because that thing is four feet long.
[00:14:58] So we're good there.
[00:15:01] Oh my god.
[00:15:02] Fuck that.
[00:15:04] So I hope at least the rest of your Starved Rock
[00:15:09] experience was lovely because it's fun to go there.
[00:15:13] Oh, yeah.
[00:15:14] It was a very good place to bring a kid.
[00:15:18] We didn't actually go to Starved Rock proper.
[00:15:21] We went to Ottawa just because they had like a river walk
[00:15:24] and there was a kite festival.
[00:15:25] Just very stroller friendly type deals.
[00:15:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:15:32] It was a really good time.
[00:15:36] I was really thinking we were really
[00:15:40] I was really hoping he was going to start crawling
[00:15:43] when he was on his trip.
[00:15:45] He was so close.
[00:15:46] He still is so close.
[00:15:49] He moves forward, but he's not getting his legs under himself
[00:15:52] and he's not like even.
[00:15:54] He moves like the test subject got out of the lab
[00:16:00] and it injured a scientist.
[00:16:02] And he's dragging himself to the computer.
[00:16:04] That's how he moves.
[00:16:06] Yes.
[00:16:07] That means that it's any day now, I think.
[00:16:10] And this actually is this segues perfectly
[00:16:13] into something I want to complain about,
[00:16:16] which is I would have preferred it
[00:16:20] if by the time Ivan got to injured scientist pulling
[00:16:25] himself to the console to send a fucking message to Samus
[00:16:29] to get back here.
[00:16:31] I would hope that by that time
[00:16:33] I would have seen Ivan, I'm going to say 20 times.
[00:16:39] He would have in his little baby brain
[00:16:41] already have made an iron clad connection
[00:16:44] that this guy is my buddy.
[00:16:46] He is Uncle Tommy.
[00:16:48] He's my homie.
[00:16:49] He's basically family.
[00:16:53] Instead, I've seen him like two times.
[00:16:55] It's been a little more, but here's the thing.
[00:16:58] He's on that grind now.
[00:17:00] I'm serious.
[00:17:03] He wakes up at 6 or so and I feed him immediately.
[00:17:07] And then we hang out a little bit
[00:17:09] before Winnie needs to leave to work.
[00:17:12] And I throw him in there, I mean like in a car seat.
[00:17:15] Not as you can see.
[00:17:16] I try to throw him like a spiral.
[00:17:20] No.
[00:17:21] He goes to daycare and gets picked up
[00:17:24] by Winnie on the way back or by me on foot by stroller
[00:17:29] if she's held back.
[00:17:32] So he's back home between 5, 36.
[00:17:36] He ends up going to bed around like 7, 45.
[00:17:42] His life is so locked in it's nuts.
[00:17:46] OK, that's a pretty good excuse on weekdays.
[00:17:51] On weekdays, yes.
[00:17:53] When we were going to move to our current place,
[00:17:56] our condo that we live in now,
[00:17:58] you were like, oh my god, this is so exciting
[00:18:00] because it's much closer to my house.
[00:18:02] It's going to be so much easier to come hang.
[00:18:05] It's going to be more pleasant to hang in
[00:18:08] because the condo is objectively better
[00:18:10] than our apartment.
[00:18:13] And this motherfucker, he ain't come.
[00:18:17] And you told me.
[00:18:20] Do I have to get a second car?
[00:18:21] This sucks.
[00:18:24] Oh man.
[00:18:25] You told me that and it makes sense
[00:18:27] and I hate that it makes sense.
[00:18:29] I wanted to be like, no fucker, no ass,
[00:18:31] get rid of your one car.
[00:18:33] But then I'm just like, wait, I actually see the logic
[00:18:36] and I hate.
[00:18:37] But my one car is effectively no car.
[00:18:39] Yes, exactly.
[00:18:40] Yes.
[00:18:41] Because Winnie is using it to go to work.
[00:18:44] And that one's paid off.
[00:18:45] It's done.
[00:18:48] You can crash shit into it.
[00:18:49] It doesn't count anymore.
[00:18:50] It's awesome.
[00:18:53] Oh god.
[00:18:54] Two cars is so bullshit.
[00:18:56] You know what I hate is cars.
[00:18:58] I saw some footage of old Chicago lately
[00:19:06] and the narrator said street car
[00:19:09] and I saw the street car going by.
[00:19:11] And I just like welled up.
[00:19:14] But I couldn't even control it.
[00:19:16] I think this is why I've been hyper fixating
[00:19:18] in the Metro electric, dude.
[00:19:20] Because are you familiar at all?
[00:19:22] No, no, tell me.
[00:19:24] So it's the only part of the Metro system
[00:19:28] that is not owned by the freight line.
[00:19:30] Like it's Metro zone shit.
[00:19:32] And it is fully electrified.
[00:19:34] So it is street car-esque.
[00:19:37] You know how they had the wires.
[00:19:39] But it's also huge clunky commuter cars.
[00:19:46] And it's like an abomination.
[00:19:48] But it's really cool because it's like a street car
[00:19:53] that they would make after the world ends.
[00:19:57] It's very nice.
[00:19:57] And also it is very, very, very, very, very
[00:19:59] frequent service.
[00:20:00] It's well loved.
[00:20:01] Wait, where the hell?
[00:20:03] This isn't fantasy.
[00:20:04] Is this real?
[00:20:05] Where is this?
[00:20:06] What is this line?
[00:20:08] Why don't I own it?
[00:20:09] The Metro electric.
[00:20:10] Why don't you own it?
[00:20:12] The Metro electric is at the Millennium station,
[00:20:17] which is also that South Shore line,
[00:20:20] which is like the little Indiana railroad
[00:20:23] that goes to the dunes.
[00:20:25] Oh, I don't want to go there.
[00:20:27] Yeah.
[00:20:27] So you want to get on the one that goes to Blue Island.
[00:20:30] And then you're going to get a gyro.
[00:20:35] Joe, I got to tell you about.
[00:20:37] I have a lot to complain about.
[00:20:39] I got to tell you about this one thing though.
[00:20:42] So I'm right by the 606 trail.
[00:20:45] Now if you are not from Chicago,
[00:20:46] I don't know what that is.
[00:20:47] Those are numbers.
[00:20:49] It's a number.
[00:20:50] There is this unused, old ass raised train tracks
[00:20:56] that go east to west on the border
[00:20:59] between Logan Square and Humboldt Park.
[00:21:01] And for years they stood disused.
[00:21:05] And a couple of years ago,
[00:21:06] the park district decided to turn these raised
[00:21:10] train tracks into a park,
[00:21:12] a big long trail with,
[00:21:15] they got a landscape architect to design
[00:21:19] the fucking plants and shit on the sides.
[00:21:22] And would you believe it?
[00:21:25] It's like a huge hit.
[00:21:26] It's truly a surreal thing to see because it means.
[00:21:31] It's a big public amenity
[00:21:34] that can't be touched by cars
[00:21:36] because it is in fact above it.
[00:21:40] And it's a public amenity that happened.
[00:21:43] The list of things that are impossible.
[00:21:46] One, someone thought we should make a good thing.
[00:21:49] Two, they had anyone in the city government agree.
[00:21:54] Three, the agreement of the people
[00:21:56] in city government actually mattered and it happened.
[00:21:59] And four, like it's here now.
[00:22:02] That shouldn't be and yet it is.
[00:22:04] Obviously this is a simplification
[00:22:06] but as I get older I now realize that the most,
[00:22:09] there are people who are just like,
[00:22:12] we should turn that train into a bike thing.
[00:22:15] We should turn that train into a bike thing.
[00:22:17] And like they will never back off
[00:22:21] and they make the world go around.
[00:22:24] I have seen some people say like,
[00:22:26] well it would be better if it was actually still trains
[00:22:28] and I can understand that.
[00:22:31] Everything would be better if it was not old
[00:22:34] and fucked up.
[00:22:35] Like what does this mean?
[00:22:37] They were like they should have renovated the trains
[00:22:40] and had actual train service going on
[00:22:42] instead of making it a path.
[00:22:44] Here's the thing though, if that was a train line
[00:22:46] we couldn't record because it'd be too loud.
[00:22:48] So checkmate motherfuckers,
[00:22:50] anime sickos podcast forever.
[00:22:52] So here's the thing that I have to complain about though.
[00:22:56] Because of the 606 there's a lot of people using it.
[00:23:00] It's very popular.
[00:23:01] This is actually good.
[00:23:01] That's not the thing I'm complaining about.
[00:23:03] I use it.
[00:23:03] It's popular, it's great, I love it.
[00:23:05] Run on it, it's fun.
[00:23:07] There's a group of skateboarders
[00:23:09] who skateboard near the entrance that I use to get on it.
[00:23:14] Oh you're scared right?
[00:23:16] Well you know Joe I would be
[00:23:18] if these were the type of skateboarders
[00:23:20] you're thinking of which is to say teens.
[00:23:22] This is a strange, strange breed of motherfuckers
[00:23:27] that are adult skateboarders.
[00:23:29] Now you know you might be thinking they must be Goths.
[00:23:32] Not no, still not.
[00:23:34] Adult no Goth skateboarders.
[00:23:39] Here's the thing that really upsets me.
[00:23:41] And this is the subset of something
[00:23:43] that just upsets me about the 606 in general
[00:23:45] because it sort of self-selects for fit people
[00:23:47] because it's an outdoor trail.
[00:23:51] A lot of guys running on it
[00:23:53] will be absolutely shredded to shit
[00:23:56] and make me feel self-conscious which I hate that.
[00:24:00] But the ultimate example is one of these adult
[00:24:05] one of these adult skateboarders is a guy
[00:24:08] or homie Kevin, he was hanging out with us lately.
[00:24:10] He saw him, he saw this guy
[00:24:14] and he's like this motherfucker is two times pimpy
[00:24:17] three times bape in real life.
[00:24:23] Do you know about two times pimpy three times bape?
[00:24:28] The name alone is really giving me, gimme, gimme.
[00:24:32] So there is a photo that has become a meme
[00:24:38] that was essentially a dog reader
[00:24:41] announcing like new dog just dropped.
[00:24:43] Okay yes and these are the,
[00:24:45] okay sorry you jogged my third eye.
[00:24:48] Yes he's doing the yakuub thing with bulldogs.
[00:24:54] And one of them was a clone of another one.
[00:24:57] No not a clone dude.
[00:24:59] Two times pimpy three times bape
[00:25:01] and pimpy and bape were famous bulldogs
[00:25:04] for being especially deformed
[00:25:07] and this new dog has pimpy in his family tree twice
[00:25:12] and bape three times in his family tree.
[00:25:15] Now you might be thinking how the fuck
[00:25:17] does someone have the same person
[00:25:19] three times in their family tree?
[00:25:22] Cause of inbreeding bitch.
[00:25:24] This is a mutant dog.
[00:25:27] Anyway these dogs are like sentient muscles.
[00:25:30] They yearn for death.
[00:25:32] Yeah they've never been allowed to breathe.
[00:25:34] They didn't put lungs in.
[00:25:36] Anyway this guy is two times pimpy.
[00:25:38] I hate looking at him.
[00:25:40] His muscles are too prominent.
[00:25:43] And they also,
[00:25:45] this is another thing I'm gonna complain about.
[00:25:47] They practice their skateboarding.
[00:25:48] When I say practice I mean
[00:25:50] they put their little grind bar down.
[00:25:53] They go up to it.
[00:25:54] They try to do a kick flip onto it
[00:25:57] and fucking don't do it.
[00:25:58] Again how old are these adult skateboarders?
[00:26:02] At least my age.
[00:26:04] So you're worried you're gonna join them.
[00:26:09] So that's the real fear.
[00:26:11] You're in a cave to peer pressure.
[00:26:13] You're trying to go for a walk
[00:26:15] and you're gonna be like well I did wanna be rad
[00:26:17] I guess someday.
[00:26:19] I got a, I'm doubling down on my piano practice.
[00:26:21] I'm like no no no I already have my hobby.
[00:26:23] It's piano.
[00:26:24] I'm gonna play Aerith's theme.
[00:26:26] Fuck.
[00:26:27] This arrangement is the one
[00:26:28] that's for actual good people.
[00:26:29] That's another thing I'm gonna complain about
[00:26:31] is that every video game score book
[00:26:34] is arrangements for bitty babies
[00:26:38] where it's like you play dink dink dink
[00:26:41] with one finger the melody with the right hand
[00:26:43] and then you just play the fucking triad chords
[00:26:46] in the left hand.
[00:26:47] And it's like this is,
[00:26:48] motherfucker I could have done this by ear
[00:26:51] and I would have hated it.
[00:26:52] I would have been like this sucks.
[00:26:53] Get me the actual score.
[00:26:54] And I got the actual score.
[00:26:55] It was just this.
[00:26:56] But then the Final Fantasy VII score book
[00:26:58] is the opposite where it's like shit
[00:27:00] this is for people who actually know what they're doing
[00:27:02] which is not me.
[00:27:03] Fuck.
[00:27:04] I do like that they respect gamers so little
[00:27:07] that they give them the twinkle twinkle
[00:27:09] little star of everything.
[00:27:10] That's fine.
[00:27:11] No I now support this.
[00:27:13] Yeah.
[00:27:14] I'm for this now.
[00:27:16] Yeah.
[00:27:17] Anyway they practice their skateboarding moves
[00:27:20] by which I mean they attempt to do them
[00:27:22] and don't even come close
[00:27:23] which is the story of every skateboarding move
[00:27:27] I have ever seen attempted in real life.
[00:27:30] I saw someone do an actual fucking kick flip
[00:27:32] and I almost dropped all my shit.
[00:27:34] Like I was blown away
[00:27:36] because I am so used to it never happening.
[00:27:39] My brain has seen a thousand people not quite do it.
[00:27:46] What I wonder is like,
[00:27:49] so is what they're doing practicing
[00:27:52] or is that it?
[00:27:54] Cause like it's always like they're like,
[00:27:57] they do a deep sigh.
[00:27:59] They get on their skateboard,
[00:28:00] they go a little bit,
[00:28:01] they jump and then they like kick the skateboard
[00:28:04] five feet away by accident in midair
[00:28:07] and they land awkwardly.
[00:28:10] And then they do a deep sigh
[00:28:11] and like reset and do it again.
[00:28:13] Is that it?
[00:28:14] Like are they practicing for something
[00:28:16] or is that it?
[00:28:17] I don't know.
[00:28:18] The aspect of skateboarding
[00:28:20] that like the coordination aspect,
[00:28:24] not that I have but that is whatever.
[00:28:27] The thing I just cannot accept.
[00:28:29] Like even if I went into a special skateboarding bootcamp,
[00:28:33] a Weapon X to turn 36 year old guys into skateboarders,
[00:28:39] just the idea that you just fucking will eat shit
[00:28:41] in very public ways is not okay with me.
[00:28:45] I just can't.
[00:28:47] That's a deal breaker.
[00:28:50] Yeah.
[00:28:51] Like every time you see someone get into a half pipe,
[00:28:54] you're like, well either way.
[00:28:57] This is gonna be a show.
[00:29:00] See, this is why I gotta avoid this siren call
[00:29:04] of being an adult skateboarder.
[00:29:05] I gotta close on the piano.
[00:29:05] Just use a different entrance.
[00:29:06] Where's the closest next one?
[00:29:08] It is the closest.
[00:29:10] It's farther away.
[00:29:11] Anyway, no here's the other thing.
[00:29:15] They practice in front of Dayglow Coffee,
[00:29:18] which is a coffee shop.
[00:29:20] You can't say that.
[00:29:21] Shut the fuck up.
[00:29:23] A coffee shop that is,
[00:29:26] we're moving here and we're like what's around?
[00:29:28] We were shocked to see that it's considered
[00:29:30] by many people to be the best coffee in Chicago.
[00:29:34] I'm like, oh shit, that's good.
[00:29:36] The thing about Dayglow Coffee is that it's
[00:29:38] inside of the Kimball Arts Center,
[00:29:40] which you might think, well that sounds great.
[00:29:43] Arts Center?
[00:29:44] Amazing.
[00:29:45] Well, the Kimball Arts Center
[00:29:46] is just sort of a big square building
[00:29:49] that is very awkward and not inviting.
[00:29:52] It's just hostile to hanging out.
[00:29:54] Yes, and it's just like,
[00:29:56] it's this big weird blank building
[00:29:59] that they cut awkward chunks out of
[00:30:01] that you can rent.
[00:30:03] And Dayglow rented one of them.
[00:30:06] And Dayglow has decided to make their space.
[00:30:12] I do not think you could make a more hostile space
[00:30:16] to be in than that.
[00:30:18] The entire cube of space is like
[00:30:23] this weird pastel melon color
[00:30:27] that just sort of hurts your eyes to see
[00:30:30] and it's everywhere.
[00:30:32] And in this space, there is one thing
[00:30:36] and it is a large Tetris piece.
[00:30:38] It is the straight Tetris piece made out of concrete
[00:30:42] and that is the only thing there.
[00:30:45] That's where the coffee machines are.
[00:30:46] That's where the register is.
[00:30:48] And their menu is,
[00:30:50] Joe, it's so confusing.
[00:30:52] It's two pages long and all they serve is coffee.
[00:30:54] And I was looking for just like,
[00:30:58] I wanted to,
[00:30:59] cause you can't just order a coffee there
[00:31:01] cause you're gonna be like,
[00:31:02] what do you mean?
[00:31:04] Like you have to use the right terminology.
[00:31:07] This is what I have found a sort of workaround
[00:31:11] for these situations.
[00:31:12] When they kind of push it back at you
[00:31:14] like we want specifics,
[00:31:17] just start crying.
[00:31:18] Just fucking ball.
[00:31:24] Pretty good.
[00:31:25] I gotta remember that.
[00:31:27] So yeah, eventually my wife noticed
[00:31:31] that the word that we wanna say is filter coffee.
[00:31:33] That is the terminology that they expect
[00:31:35] for a cup of coffee is give us some filter coffee.
[00:31:39] And then they said which one,
[00:31:41] which is just like, just kill me.
[00:31:44] Like just gone man.
[00:31:47] Come on.
[00:31:48] Like why, what are we doing here?
[00:31:51] It was awful.
[00:31:52] And here's the thing that really I complain about
[00:31:55] is that all this shit happened,
[00:31:56] it's so hostile to be in.
[00:31:58] There's like the only seating in the shop
[00:32:01] are these two awful stools
[00:32:04] that have like abstract art as the thing.
[00:32:08] Instead of us having normal stool poles
[00:32:11] that hold the stool up,
[00:32:12] it has like an abstract art sculpture
[00:32:14] made out of really skinny metal.
[00:32:16] Looks like if you sit on it,
[00:32:18] it's gonna fold up like a fucking laundry hamper
[00:32:20] that college students have.
[00:32:22] The thing that really fucking makes me upset,
[00:32:25] so I got the coffee,
[00:32:27] cost a fucking lot.
[00:32:30] And it was some of the best coffee I ever had.
[00:32:32] Like it's really good.
[00:32:35] Like it's really good coffee, I mean, go pack.
[00:32:37] I'm oversimplifying it,
[00:32:38] but it just sounds like there is a parking garage
[00:32:40] you walk into and then there is a guy
[00:32:43] who has a cinder block in front of him
[00:32:45] and you say, one coffee please,
[00:32:46] and then he says, what kind?
[00:32:48] And then he's a piece of shit about it.
[00:32:49] And then he just like pulls out a tyrofoam cup
[00:32:51] and it's the best thing you've ever had.
[00:32:53] It's not far from that.
[00:32:56] I would say that, I would just add
[00:32:59] that he shines a flashlight in your eyes
[00:33:01] while that's going on.
[00:33:02] Is the rest of the space empty
[00:33:04] because he's like bullying everybody out?
[00:33:07] So the rest of the space is like studios,
[00:33:11] which I don't know who,
[00:33:13] like photographer studios.
[00:33:14] Who are these people?
[00:33:15] How are they affording the rent?
[00:33:16] There is a publisher, again, what?
[00:33:20] Like you must be an independently wealthy person.
[00:33:22] There is One Tale at a Time,
[00:33:24] which is a pet fostering organization.
[00:33:28] We saw a block club article
[00:33:30] that they are opening a new theater.
[00:33:33] And there was one of the funniest quotes
[00:33:36] I've ever read in this article,
[00:33:39] which is the person who was opening this new theater,
[00:33:43] the person in charge of it who rented the space
[00:33:45] and setting it all up.
[00:33:47] They had a quote that was something like,
[00:33:49] this theater will address the frankly unbelievable lack
[00:33:55] of storefront theaters in this area.
[00:33:58] And I'm like, buddy, there's nothing I can believe
[00:34:02] more easily than the lack of storefront theaters
[00:34:05] in this area.
[00:34:09] Unbelievable lack, try a little harder to believe it.
[00:34:12] I think you can do it, I believe in you.
[00:34:14] Anyway, so the other thing is that the cornerstone
[00:34:17] of the Kimball Arts Center is Orkanoi Brewing,
[00:34:21] which is a brew pub that makes their own beer
[00:34:23] and they also have dinner.
[00:34:25] And it is, the head brewer is the brother
[00:34:28] of the head coffee guy at Daigle.
[00:34:31] And they sort of are two of a pair.
[00:34:33] In fact, above the exit of the 606,
[00:34:37] they have a big fucking billboard on the side
[00:34:40] of the art center saying coffee and beer here.
[00:34:43] And so people get off the 606 to have a coffee and beer.
[00:34:48] Like Daigle is fucking popular,
[00:34:50] it's got a line all the time.
[00:34:52] The day we were gonna move,
[00:34:56] I saw a block club article saying,
[00:34:58] Orkanoi Brewing closes forever.
[00:35:01] So that's just gone.
[00:35:03] You can't get there.
[00:35:04] That rules, I didn't know what Fox Trot was.
[00:35:06] I guess there was a series of bougie coffee shops
[00:35:12] slash grocers on the north side.
[00:35:15] And there was one in the West Loop, I guess.
[00:35:16] But they closed suddenly because the finances were such
[00:35:19] that we are 200 million in the hole.
[00:35:21] Turns out we weren't counting the money right.
[00:35:27] A lot of people were upset about that
[00:35:29] because I guess it was very popular.
[00:35:31] See the big thing in my neighborhood
[00:35:34] is it's not even that big of an improvement
[00:35:36] but I like it is that there's a Mr. Greeks in Greectown.
[00:35:41] Greectown, if you're not familiar with Chicago
[00:35:45] is a block.
[00:35:48] It is very small.
[00:35:50] The Walgreens has 24 hours in Greek.
[00:35:54] It's like, oh, I'm learning.
[00:35:56] I'm learning the language.
[00:35:58] You told me when there was one time
[00:36:00] I was gonna drive past there
[00:36:01] and you told me like the vibes are so bad
[00:36:03] and I'm like, the vibes will be fine.
[00:36:05] The vibes were so bad.
[00:36:09] Yes and anyway, there's this place called Mr. Greeks
[00:36:12] which is a Chicago fry joint like anything else
[00:36:16] but obviously with a Greek guy did it.
[00:36:19] Okay, so there's some more of a focus on that.
[00:36:22] Well, they opened one on Taylor Street
[00:36:25] which is like not even far away from it
[00:36:29] but it is closer to me
[00:36:32] and it gets here so fast.
[00:36:34] It's pretty good, dude.
[00:36:37] I've been not, this is the most painful shit
[00:36:41] because like where I'm at is nearby
[00:36:44] so many good places to eat.
[00:36:47] Like it's crazy how many places.
[00:36:51] Like I could go to a different place for lunch and dinner
[00:36:54] that I'm really interested in every day
[00:36:57] for like two weeks with no repeats
[00:36:59] and then I'd wanna do it all over again
[00:37:01] but here's the thing.
[00:37:02] Because we have like a mortgage now
[00:37:07] and like we can decide to pay a little bit extra
[00:37:10] and like when we do that, like that money.
[00:37:13] God likes you more.
[00:37:16] Yeah, so it's like okay,
[00:37:17] like we need to like actually figure out
[00:37:21] like how much more we can pay a month
[00:37:25] so that, cause like every dollar you pay extra
[00:37:27] is like that's, in 10 years,
[00:37:31] that's like $100 of interest you didn't have to pay
[00:37:34] and it's like oh fuck, that's good
[00:37:36] but that could be burgers like so it's fucking rough.
[00:37:40] So I'm doing a budget this month
[00:37:41] and so like I have our incomes for the month
[00:37:45] and I'm noting down every purchase
[00:37:48] and I don't know if you know this about moving
[00:37:50] and in fact home ownership
[00:37:54] first month, you just gotta buy shit constantly.
[00:38:00] Always with the buying of shit, it never ends
[00:38:04] and so I have like an incredibly inflated number
[00:38:08] of purchases I have had to make
[00:38:10] such that like my expenditures this month
[00:38:13] versus my net income is like negative $900
[00:38:18] so I like cannot justify any frivolous spending
[00:38:23] so I have been eating like home cooking only
[00:38:28] and I'm just like oh I wanna go to this restaurant,
[00:38:30] I can't, I can't cause of money, I hate it.
[00:38:35] I don't know, I would just like maybe dig up some gold.
[00:38:39] Some gold would be so good.
[00:38:40] Actually I almost did dig up gold
[00:38:42] so when I was moving I found a bunch of savings bonds
[00:38:47] from when I was a baby.
[00:38:50] Savings bonds are a big fucking joke
[00:38:52] that the government did to trick you because.
[00:38:55] You know, was your first introduction
[00:38:57] to the concept of savings bonds the episode of Doug?
[00:39:01] Cause it was for me.
[00:39:04] My first contact I think of first.
[00:39:06] Probably when you got it as a baby actually
[00:39:07] that's a stupid question.
[00:39:09] It's when I saw, it's okay.
[00:39:10] So I first sort of like realized
[00:39:12] what they were during COVID
[00:39:14] like right in like the height of the lockdown
[00:39:16] and was like oh shit this is like money.
[00:39:18] This is like money from before.
[00:39:20] And I'm like I got to cash these fuckers in
[00:39:25] so I like endorsed them, I wrote my address on the back.
[00:39:28] I went to the bank.
[00:39:30] Well here's the thing,
[00:39:31] my bank is a Alliant Credit Union
[00:39:34] which is almost exclusively online.
[00:39:37] So I'm just like they have to cash these in anywhere
[00:39:40] right so I go to some random,
[00:39:42] the closest physical bank.
[00:39:44] I'm like cash these in please
[00:39:45] and they said like we'll kill you.
[00:39:48] No, we will not cash these in
[00:39:52] and I'm like oh I kind of figured you would
[00:39:55] and then I did more research
[00:39:57] and turns out this is why I say
[00:39:58] savings bonds are a joke.
[00:40:01] They could kill you right?
[00:40:02] Like they were allowed to.
[00:40:03] Yes they were.
[00:40:05] So the whole point of savings bonds
[00:40:06] is you get them when you're a baby
[00:40:07] and then 30 years later they're worth more
[00:40:10] and then you cash them in
[00:40:11] and what a great thing you've done.
[00:40:14] You gave the government sort of a loan
[00:40:17] and they paid you back with interest.
[00:40:19] Everyone wins.
[00:40:20] Well turns out that the plan all along
[00:40:23] was for during those 30 years
[00:40:26] the government's like hey every bank,
[00:40:29] just stop, just stop fucking,
[00:40:31] don't let that shit happen.
[00:40:34] So now there's something like $30 billion
[00:40:37] of savings loans that are just like gone.
[00:40:40] Like that money is like poof
[00:40:41] because it will never be cashed in.
[00:40:44] The American people just gave the government
[00:40:46] a huge loan that the government will never pay back.
[00:40:50] The only way to get your savings bonds cashed in
[00:40:55] is you have to send a letter to the treasury.
[00:40:59] But not happening.
[00:41:00] If I have to write a fucking letter,
[00:41:02] it's effectively not real.
[00:41:06] Here's how fucked up it is Joe.
[00:41:08] So I'm like okay I'll just do it.
[00:41:09] I'm gonna fucking do it.
[00:41:10] I'm gonna write the letter, Jesus Christ.
[00:41:12] I printed out a form, I filled out the form.
[00:41:14] It says please include a copy of your ID.
[00:41:16] So I had to scan my ID and print it out.
[00:41:18] This is ridiculous what I'm doing.
[00:41:20] I had to write down all the serial numbers
[00:41:23] of all the bonds and I'm like but it's worth it
[00:41:25] because I'm gonna get some money.
[00:41:27] Oh I gotta do it.
[00:41:28] And then I remembered oh shit,
[00:41:30] I wrote my old address on the back in 2020.
[00:41:33] This is two apartments ago.
[00:41:35] Fuck, like this is wrong.
[00:41:37] So I had to go and purchase whiteout.
[00:41:40] I came back home from the store.
[00:41:42] I white it out the old address,
[00:41:43] I put a new one in and then I'm like perfect.
[00:41:46] Now all I need to do is put a stamp on the envelope
[00:41:49] and lick the envelope and then send it on its way.
[00:41:52] And I know I have stamps because I bought 20 stamps
[00:41:55] about a month and a half ago
[00:41:57] so that I could send one letter.
[00:41:59] And then I put them in my drawer.
[00:42:02] And I look at my drawer, brother the stamps are gone.
[00:42:04] We lost the stamps in the move.
[00:42:06] So I had to buy more stamps.
[00:42:10] This is like the story of my life.
[00:42:11] Did you go to the post office holding like the letter,
[00:42:16] like hello?
[00:42:18] Can you give me one of these?
[00:42:20] No, no I ordered them on
[00:42:22] because I didn't want to fucking drive again.
[00:42:25] And so I just ordered them onto internet
[00:42:27] and I'm waiting for them to come in the mail.
[00:42:29] Which who knows when that's gonna be.
[00:42:31] It's just insane.
[00:42:32] This whole, you know what sucks?
[00:42:34] Is it's buying things, having to pay for things.
[00:42:39] I hate it.
[00:42:40] Buying things.
[00:42:41] There's this high end high chair company
[00:42:45] that I can't remember but Winnie and I were looking at it
[00:42:48] because one of Winnie's friends has it.
[00:42:50] And part of the copy is like it grows with your kid.
[00:42:57] It'll eventually just be an adult chair.
[00:43:00] It's like a standing desk.
[00:43:01] Why not just make it a coffin then?
[00:43:04] Like do the whole thing.
[00:43:07] I just didn't, there's something about
[00:43:11] like the forever aspect of it
[00:43:13] that really like made me feel grim.
[00:43:17] I can't speak to this with any authority as a non-parent
[00:43:23] but like the trend towards more and more
[00:43:27] like extremely high end luxurious baby products
[00:43:32] is to me like what are we doing here?
[00:43:36] The point is to basically split consumption vectors
[00:43:42] where you have people who can spend a bunch of money
[00:43:46] on kids and have them and then the other vector is no.
[00:43:52] And that will continue to widen forever.
[00:43:54] I'm really getting the sense.
[00:44:00] This is not a full throated endorsement
[00:44:02] of that situation, let me be clear.
[00:44:06] But yeah, I just like, here's a really good example.
[00:44:12] Like the most popular or I don't wanna say most popular
[00:44:16] but definitely a must have kids
[00:44:19] just universally seem to love it
[00:44:22] is this French giraffe named Sophie.
[00:44:25] And it's French because it's a French company.
[00:44:27] It's not like the giraffe is depicted to be.
[00:44:30] Doesn't have a baguette.
[00:44:31] Yeah, no, no, no, nothing like that.
[00:44:33] But it's just like a rubber giraffe.
[00:44:37] It's $26.
[00:44:38] No!
[00:44:40] Yeah. I know, oh my God.
[00:44:42] Yeah, so just like, just think in scale, dude.
[00:44:46] It's like we think like spending $26 once
[00:44:50] but you every baby gets a giraffe.
[00:44:54] And like I don't know what it is about the giraffe
[00:44:57] but like it has powers.
[00:44:59] It has calmed kids down that when nothing else works
[00:45:03] I don't get it.
[00:45:04] I mean, I know of this giraffe.
[00:45:06] I'm picturing it in my head and I'm like,
[00:45:08] I'm feeling calmer just being like this,
[00:45:09] oh what a good giraffe.
[00:45:11] I bet I would bite this.
[00:45:12] It would feel great.
[00:45:15] Yeah, so yeah.
[00:45:17] We, my wife and I are not, we do not want kids
[00:45:21] and but when you and Wendy announced like,
[00:45:26] oh we're having a baby.
[00:45:27] I was like, oh shit.
[00:45:28] Like Joe is like, Joe is also an idiot.
[00:45:30] All my friends who have had babies
[00:45:32] are like richer and smarter than me
[00:45:34] but like Joe and me are both morons.
[00:45:36] So like we had to like actually like
[00:45:38] for the first time in years be like,
[00:45:40] do they discuss it again?
[00:45:41] Like is that still true?
[00:45:44] Yeah, but also it didn't even,
[00:45:47] it wouldn't even matter if it wasn't still true.
[00:45:49] It's moot now,
[00:45:50] cause especially cause I'm fucking doing a budget
[00:45:51] and just looking at how much extra money
[00:45:53] we have per month.
[00:45:55] Some months none,
[00:45:56] like the month where we have to pay movers.
[00:46:00] And I'm just like, oh, this shit's impossible.
[00:46:03] Like literally you couldn't do it.
[00:46:05] Like it is amazing.
[00:46:07] You know, I don't know if anyone's pointed it out before
[00:46:10] but it feels like the common man
[00:46:12] can't get ahead in today's America.
[00:46:16] Like I kind of get why Japanese people
[00:46:19] didn't fucking have kids.
[00:46:22] Like that math didn't work out
[00:46:24] for a lot of people, I get it.
[00:46:26] Yeah.
[00:46:27] And the guy who said, please do it.
[00:46:29] Well, he got hit by the scout gun.
[00:46:31] So.
[00:46:33] He got hit by the one that lets you triple jump.
[00:46:36] What was that one called?
[00:46:37] It was like sawed off even more so.
[00:46:41] It wasn't the name, but that's a good name.
[00:46:46] God damn.
[00:46:48] So Tom, you've recently,
[00:46:49] it's tomorrow by the way.
[00:46:51] Yeah.
[00:46:53] I always gotta do chores for the baby sometimes.
[00:46:57] Yeah, I have to rake leaves for him.
[00:47:01] But Tom was complaining as he often does
[00:47:05] but he articulated something that was bothering me
[00:47:09] that I had not found the words for.
[00:47:11] And I will give the classic sicko thing.
[00:47:14] People say this about,
[00:47:15] there's like, this is what makes your podcast so good.
[00:47:17] These things that everyone in capitalism feels
[00:47:20] but you don't know what the word for it is
[00:47:23] and we give it the word.
[00:47:24] I did it again.
[00:47:25] What I'm saying is we haven't lost the touch.
[00:47:27] Yeah, in this case it wasn't to the audience.
[00:47:30] It was just sicko to sicko what happened.
[00:47:32] But Tom basically has a very good point
[00:47:38] about the game Bolatro
[00:47:39] which is a very popular deck building rogue
[00:47:42] like that I to be clear enjoy.
[00:47:45] I think it's actually a very well designed game.
[00:47:48] I saw how it was coded as just like one big if then
[00:47:51] that fucking rules.
[00:47:51] People are saying that's bad.
[00:47:52] No, that's good.
[00:47:53] That's Excel mindset.
[00:47:56] The thing is I'm bouncing off of it at times
[00:47:58] and I don't know what it is
[00:47:59] because like everything on paper here is Joe Katnip.
[00:48:07] But you said correctly that the issue here is
[00:48:11] when you play cards, something has to take damage
[00:48:16] and that's not happening.
[00:48:19] The thing about Bolatro,
[00:48:21] the thing about all deck building rogue like video games
[00:48:26] is that you soon realize
[00:48:29] that the actual game is the shop.
[00:48:33] Like that is like the whole point of the game.
[00:48:36] The way you win is you have to get a good build.
[00:48:39] You have to build your deck good
[00:48:41] and the way you build your deck good
[00:48:44] is when you get offered shit to put in your deck.
[00:48:47] Like this is the decision that matters.
[00:48:50] Are you gonna pick the good thing or not?
[00:48:53] And then the actual game,
[00:48:55] like the round where you use the deck that you've built,
[00:48:58] that sort of plays itself eventually.
[00:49:01] Once you're good enough and you have done it enough times
[00:49:03] it becomes a muscle memory
[00:49:04] and then the part where you have to sit up
[00:49:06] and pay attention is the shop.
[00:49:09] So basically what that means is that in Bolatro,
[00:49:13] I turn it on and it's like,
[00:49:16] do you wanna click on three sevens?
[00:49:21] I'm like, not really.
[00:49:23] Yeah, that's not fun.
[00:49:24] Like do you wanna click on two to five cards
[00:49:29] and maybe discard some cards
[00:49:31] and hope you draw the one you like?
[00:49:33] And I'm like, nah.
[00:49:35] A goblin doesn't die.
[00:49:38] In Slay the Spire, yeah,
[00:49:41] the rounds play themselves but like,
[00:49:45] you get to use whirlwind against a big crowd of goblins
[00:49:49] and they all die at once.
[00:49:51] They scream when they die, they go ah!
[00:49:53] To compare again, I don't think it's a fair comparison
[00:49:56] but in Slay the Spire there's a bit of a joy
[00:49:59] of just accurately dishing out your numbers
[00:50:03] as efficiently as possible to kill everything.
[00:50:07] You're like yes, yes, yes.
[00:50:09] In Bolatro you just drop your big hand
[00:50:12] and make money happen.
[00:50:15] That's the move always.
[00:50:16] Yeah and in Slay the Spire you sort of know
[00:50:19] what enemies are in the pool for this part of the game
[00:50:25] but it's always like,
[00:50:27] you never know exactly what you're gonna need to do.
[00:50:30] In Bolatro you always know exactly
[00:50:32] what you're gonna need to do.
[00:50:33] Click on the fucking ace and get a high number
[00:50:40] and just like the fun part of the game
[00:50:43] is picking the kooky jokers and having a kooky build.
[00:50:48] Yes and the minute for me, you have a kooky build.
[00:50:53] Once you lose kooky momentum because you did
[00:50:56] the ultimate gamer's mistake which I also make
[00:50:59] in Slay the Spire, I refuse to look at what the boss is.
[00:51:03] I will never move my head three inches to the right
[00:51:07] to understand what I should be preparing for
[00:51:09] but I do it and the minute I lose kooky momentum
[00:51:14] I'm just like yeah, fucking whatever.
[00:51:16] Now this is Harvest Moon year four, I'm over it.
[00:51:22] Something needs to die.
[00:51:23] Something needs to die.
[00:51:24] There need to be different attacks.
[00:51:26] In Slay the Spire the enemies have different attacks.
[00:51:29] You have to kind of think about what do I need to do?
[00:51:36] I like Bolatro, I played it for many hours.
[00:51:38] That you cannot deny it is a good game.
[00:51:40] It does suck people in.
[00:51:43] It has made a ton of money, it's objectively good.
[00:51:46] However, when I boot it up and I'm like
[00:51:50] what a kooky joker, I love that.
[00:51:52] I can't wait to use it and then I click
[00:51:54] on the next round and it's like fuck,
[00:51:56] I gotta get a fucking flush.
[00:52:01] I guess, these cards just have numbers on them.
[00:52:04] They're not cool.
[00:52:05] The cards aren't called Glassknife.
[00:52:07] The cards aren't called Noxious Cloud.
[00:52:10] The card is like eight.
[00:52:12] The cards aren't called Sexy Ice Shark.
[00:52:17] The shark from Monster Train.
[00:52:18] You know what, Bolatro really,
[00:52:22] it's all fucking karmic justice from us
[00:52:29] sleeping on Monster Train.
[00:52:31] We never should have stopped calling hell our home
[00:52:34] because it is.
[00:52:36] Man there's a shark.
[00:52:37] It's got a train, the train,
[00:52:38] it's got a fucking train.
[00:52:39] It's a slam dunk.
[00:52:40] It's about infrastructure.
[00:52:42] When the shark gets hit, it puts ice on the guy
[00:52:48] for free, it's not even your turn.
[00:52:50] And generally speaking, you have ways
[00:52:53] to keep that fucker alive so he keeps on smooching
[00:52:56] with his cold kisses all the way to the end.
[00:52:59] This is a perfect segue to the other issue
[00:53:05] that you brought up about Bolatro.
[00:53:07] I've not played on the higher difficulties
[00:53:10] because I literally lose interest.
[00:53:13] I become a golden retriever three fourths of the way in.
[00:53:20] Games are big on ascension levels now
[00:53:22] and for good reason, but it's like a fine line to walk
[00:53:26] because sometimes it just feels like the game
[00:53:29] is then tuned to like I'm gonna make you hold
[00:53:30] these turds as you play the game.
[00:53:33] Whereas Slay the Spire I think is a nice example
[00:53:36] where it's obviously very difficult
[00:53:38] but nothing feels like an unbearable cognitive load.
[00:53:42] Yeah, there's like no one, well there are a few.
[00:53:46] It's rare that there's like one specific ascension level
[00:53:51] where like the thing that changed is like back breaking.
[00:53:55] I think the ones that sort of bucked that trend
[00:53:57] are when elites and bosses do more damage per attack.
[00:54:01] But I mean, otherwise it's just like
[00:54:02] the shops a little bit more expensive.
[00:54:04] It's like you don't notice that
[00:54:06] like when you go into the shop.
[00:54:08] It's not like you have sticker shock.
[00:54:11] It's just like normally you'd be able to buy.
[00:54:14] I literally write the old price on my whiteboard
[00:54:19] and I freak out.
[00:54:22] Okay, well most people don't do that.
[00:54:24] I used to be in Bolatro that like
[00:54:29] I think at the highest stake,
[00:54:30] I don't remember, this might be orange or gold stake.
[00:54:35] I don't remember the specifics but I do know for sure
[00:54:37] that part of it is that local thunk comes to your house
[00:54:41] and cuts your hands off.
[00:54:43] Which makes it really hard to play the game.
[00:54:45] But he changed, I do know,
[00:54:47] I haven't played since the patch
[00:54:49] because of the reasons I've said
[00:54:50] because like I start to actually do the gameplay
[00:54:54] of clicking on a nine and I'm just like
[00:54:57] I don't wanna click on a nine!
[00:55:01] And I know that now the highest ascension level,
[00:55:06] the thing it does is it like makes some chokers
[00:55:09] have a sticker on them that makes them poof
[00:55:12] after five antis.
[00:55:13] So like if you find the perfect choker that you need,
[00:55:16] it might not stick around.
[00:55:17] Oh what are you gonna do?
[00:55:19] You have to work with this.
[00:55:21] Which like okay, that's like an interesting decision.
[00:55:24] And it's not just like.
[00:55:25] That's nice churn mechanics
[00:55:26] that keeps you from like being able to just steam roll.
[00:55:31] Yeah, from just being meta and being optimal.
[00:55:35] Previously I know the real thing that it was
[00:55:38] was that like the cost of a booster pack
[00:55:41] like went up by one dollar every round.
[00:55:44] So basically like you can buy a booster.
[00:55:46] That's like the game though.
[00:55:47] Yes, yes!
[00:55:48] Like it was like.
[00:55:51] Why would they make it harder to play the game on hard?
[00:55:56] You know one of the only things you can do
[00:55:58] to mitigate the randomness of the game,
[00:56:00] you know buy booster packs
[00:56:02] and pick the one that's most good for you.
[00:56:05] You can't do that anymore.
[00:56:06] You just can't.
[00:56:07] Yeah that's exactly,
[00:56:08] that's like you have to hold like you can't click
[00:56:11] cause you have to hold the shit.
[00:56:13] It's not fun.
[00:56:17] You know what else sucks?
[00:56:18] Is that it's really windy lately.
[00:56:21] It's windy, it's also very hot.
[00:56:23] We're gonna have a fire tornado probably.
[00:56:26] I got these tomatoes from the tomato man.
[00:56:30] Cause I'm excited.
[00:56:31] Like when we got this condo,
[00:56:34] the big thing was I'm gonna grow tomatoes on the roof.
[00:56:36] I'm gonna grow tomatoes in the roof.
[00:56:37] Oh boy, I could be a roof deck.
[00:56:38] Oh boy, I can't wait.
[00:56:40] Now I'm like maybe we can't grow tomatoes on the roof
[00:56:42] because it's 70 mile per hour fucking gusts of wind
[00:56:46] all day every day for like the last two weeks.
[00:56:50] Literally the patio furniture is in different spots
[00:56:54] in the morning than it was in night.
[00:56:57] And we're just like, oh you can't put a tomato out here.
[00:57:00] And also one of the tomato plants I got from the guys
[00:57:02] like already dead, like it came dead.
[00:57:06] I have nothing but amazing tomato man experiences.
[00:57:11] We did not get the drop this year
[00:57:12] on account of having a kid and we forgot.
[00:57:16] I also scaling back my patio growing
[00:57:20] because I learned a lot last year.
[00:57:24] The survivor situation was not worth the effort.
[00:57:29] But yeah, the tomato man is this guy in Chicago.
[00:57:32] How it works is you're like, hey tomato man,
[00:57:34] I went to your website.
[00:57:36] Here's my credit card info probably in clear text
[00:57:38] and he's like hell yeah.
[00:57:41] And then he gives you an address
[00:57:42] and a child shows up and gives you a box
[00:57:45] of your tomatoes and you're like,
[00:57:47] do you go to school?
[00:57:49] And they're like don't tell anyone I was here.
[00:57:52] I have good experience.
[00:57:53] Four out of the five tomato plants I got are doing great.
[00:57:56] And the fifth one is 1 1 3rd of their size
[00:57:59] and every single leaf on it is crispy and falling off.
[00:58:03] So I'm just like, I don't feel like
[00:58:05] that one's doing so good.
[00:58:07] I mean it's impossible to have every single one be
[00:58:10] like 100% guaranteed to thrive.
[00:58:12] It's not like I'm mad.
[00:58:14] Well I'm mad but just at life.
[00:58:16] At like this sucks.
[00:58:18] Also I realize I especially need to buy a bunch of rocks
[00:58:22] to put at the bottom of the pots
[00:58:25] because with the wind, the pot's gonna tip over.
[00:58:28] So they need to be very bottom heavy
[00:58:30] which means another trip and another purchase.
[00:58:32] Again that's the thing.
[00:58:33] People tell you that buying a home
[00:58:35] is nothing but trips and purchases.
[00:58:37] But like you can.
[00:58:39] You gotta buy rocks too.
[00:58:41] You never know how true that is until you do it.
[00:58:45] And I've been doing it.
[00:58:47] I went to fucking Target today
[00:58:49] and I made so many fucking purchases.
[00:58:52] It's insane.
[00:58:53] I really hate the way I just felt myself morph into,
[00:58:59] well I had a lifetime of just hearing people being like
[00:59:02] can't go on a Target without spending $200.
[00:59:05] Like since I've been like 10 years old.
[00:59:07] Like I've heard in some version of that.
[00:59:09] And then all of a sudden it,
[00:59:12] I look down and it's my skin.
[00:59:14] Yeah, yes.
[00:59:16] And I hate it.
[00:59:16] I fucking hate it.
[00:59:18] You're looking at the guy who said it
[00:59:19] and you're like I hate that guy.
[00:59:21] And then you turn to the mirror
[00:59:23] and it's you, you were saying it all along.
[00:59:26] It's not even fun things.
[00:59:27] It's not like oh boy a toy.
[00:59:29] Oh boy a video game.
[00:59:30] Oh boy treats.
[00:59:32] It's like a bath mat for the second bathroom.
[00:59:37] Bedding for the guest bed so that my in-laws can visit.
[00:59:41] Oh shit, I gotta tell you about this.
[00:59:44] So the roof vexes me because the furniture moves.
[00:59:49] 300 miles per way.
[00:59:51] Yeah, furniture moves.
[00:59:52] I'm scared that I will put the tomatoes out
[00:59:55] and they will immediately have their stocks
[00:59:57] snapped in half by a killer wind.
[01:00:01] But also Lucy my cat like learned
[01:00:05] that there's outside out there
[01:00:07] and like we're cooked.
[01:00:09] Like it's over for us.
[01:00:10] She wants to go outside.
[01:00:14] So fucking bad.
[01:00:17] She's gonna get hit by an air breeze the second
[01:00:20] she leaves the doorway and will be flung.
[01:00:23] Yes, she will be like,
[01:00:27] she'll be shot into the air.
[01:00:28] Like those vultures that never flap their wings.
[01:00:31] They just like are on the currents
[01:00:33] and like are in the air indefinitely.
[01:00:35] That'll be her except she's not doing it on purpose.
[01:00:39] I was hanging out with some homies on the roof.
[01:00:41] I wish my homie Joe could have been here.
[01:00:45] This is again, see the second car conversation.
[01:00:48] Like this is, they should build a train
[01:00:51] between our houses.
[01:00:52] I'm gonna ask a West Side pastor
[01:00:57] if maybe they can help with that effort.
[01:01:00] Yeah, I mean I'm kind of West.
[01:01:02] This doesn't count.
[01:01:04] But okay, so I was hanging out
[01:01:05] with some homies on the roof and we fucking,
[01:01:08] we see the door open and Lucy like walk out
[01:01:13] because Joe, Lucy is used to an apartment
[01:01:16] where the knobs are round
[01:01:18] and she sees us use the knobs
[01:01:20] and so she hangs off them to no avail.
[01:01:22] Now the knobs are levers.
[01:01:24] So she jumps on the knob
[01:01:26] and she opens the fucking door.
[01:01:31] In a raptor situation you'd be fucked too.
[01:01:33] Yes, exactly.
[01:01:34] So we have to deadbolt the lock
[01:01:36] every time we go out onto the roof
[01:01:39] and this is especially fun.
[01:01:40] I was telling this to my brother
[01:01:42] and he's like oh come on, what's gonna happen?
[01:01:44] You really telling me that Lucy is so smart
[01:01:47] that she can open the door by herself
[01:01:50] but she's too stupid not to kill herself
[01:01:52] and I'm like yes, exactly.
[01:01:54] Like yes, that is definitely it.
[01:01:55] That's exactly where cats are.
[01:01:57] There's like that valley IQ wise
[01:02:00] and that's where most house cats live.
[01:02:02] Like every single time Lucy has been in a new place
[01:02:06] she is attempted to make a jump
[01:02:08] which I know with my human brain is impossible
[01:02:12] but I'm like she needs to know it for herself.
[01:02:14] She eats shit in the most hilarious way imaginable.
[01:02:18] The go-to example is I had two apartments ago
[01:02:21] there was a built-in and it had glass doors
[01:02:24] in front of the shelves
[01:02:26] and so Lucy's on top of the fridge
[01:02:28] and she sees an open shelf
[01:02:30] and she's like I'm gonna jump there
[01:02:31] and I'm thinking to myself there is glass in the way.
[01:02:35] She's not gonna understand if I say that
[01:02:37] so let's just see what happens
[01:02:39] and she jumps as fast as she can,
[01:02:42] accordions up into a little hamburger patty
[01:02:46] and falls on her fucking ass right on the ground
[01:02:50] and looks so embarrassed
[01:02:51] and she never attempted that again.
[01:02:53] So here's what would happen.
[01:02:54] She would try like I'm gonna jump up
[01:02:55] on the fucking wall, the exterior wall of the house
[01:02:59] and I'm gonna do it really fast.
[01:03:02] I'm not gonna break.
[01:03:03] What's gonna happen?
[01:03:04] She's gonna fucking fall off.
[01:03:05] I'm gonna do a wall jump.
[01:03:06] I'm gonna wall jump off of the exterior wall.
[01:03:11] Do your cats ever do wall jumps in life?
[01:03:15] No, they climb a lot of stairs
[01:03:19] so I think they just don't have the love
[01:03:20] for verticality.
[01:03:22] Lucy uses wall jump as a sort of like a drift.
[01:03:27] It's for turning.
[01:03:28] She's running and she's at full tilt
[01:03:31] and then she needs to make a 90 degree turn.
[01:03:34] She will just jump fully at the wall,
[01:03:36] land with all four feet on the wall
[01:03:38] and jump going the other way
[01:03:41] and she will make a perfect 90 degree turn
[01:03:43] having lost no momentum.
[01:03:46] It's really like high level tech honestly.
[01:03:48] This is the speed run strat.
[01:03:50] I mean literally she's running at a high speed
[01:03:53] and that was her strategy for doing it.
[01:03:56] Roman tried to hunt some ants.
[01:04:02] It was a draw.
[01:04:07] He's just like a muppet man.
[01:04:08] He's a little guy that is,
[01:04:12] I don't understand how he would ever
[01:04:15] hunt something on the outside.
[01:04:17] So I know that it's like the truth
[01:04:21] that cats, the outdoor cats are like ecological nightmares
[01:04:26] for the local ecosystem.
[01:04:27] Like I know that.
[01:04:28] Yeah, yeah there's songbird genociders
[01:04:31] among other things, yes.
[01:04:32] But every indoor cat I've ever seen
[01:04:34] like Roman and Ariel and Lucy is like again,
[01:04:38] like you incompetent fucking bitch.
[01:04:43] Lucy was, there's a fly got in the other day
[01:04:47] because the door was open
[01:04:49] so I was putting together the patio umbrella
[01:04:50] that we got that's gonna get blown into the sky
[01:04:53] like Mary Poppins in two seconds no doubt.
[01:04:58] And so fly got into the house
[01:04:59] and Lucy like found the fly
[01:05:01] and her strategy was just to sort of gently bat it
[01:05:05] against the window so look at it
[01:05:07] and be like huh, yes, yes.
[01:05:09] That's exactly how Roman approached any bug.
[01:05:13] I saw Ariel, I wouldn't call it a hunt
[01:05:18] but was in conflict with a millipede
[01:05:21] but like well what was happening
[01:05:22] like she would like, I don't know,
[01:05:24] like slap at it, kind of like bully it a little bit
[01:05:26] and then she would just like zone out
[01:05:29] and then it would move closer
[01:05:32] and she would freak out and then she would loop again
[01:05:38] and at no point was any like real damage
[01:05:41] ever done to the creature.
[01:05:44] So like I said, they, I don't want them to go outside
[01:05:48] they're too dumb to go outside
[01:05:50] but they need school.
[01:05:54] Like they don't know about killing.
[01:05:56] How does a cat not know about killing?
[01:06:00] I bet Joe that move that Ariel was doing
[01:06:02] that is like classic idiot cat move
[01:06:04] where they're like again in conflict
[01:06:07] with a bug or some type of vermin
[01:06:11] and they'll just decide like the thing I need to do now
[01:06:14] is like turn my head and be like, you seeing this shit?
[01:06:17] And when I'm doing that, I'm gonna go ahead
[01:06:20] and delete all of my memory on where this thing was.
[01:06:26] So like as far as I know there never was a bug
[01:06:30] and so like there's two outcomes.
[01:06:32] One, they never fucking find that bug again
[01:06:35] that bug escapes and you have to deal with it
[01:06:39] or two, they look back and as you say
[01:06:41] they see the bug and they're like a bug!
[01:06:45] They lose, they take damage.
[01:06:48] You're the cat.
[01:06:50] Yeah, they jump and hit the wall.
[01:06:54] Yeah, yeah.
[01:06:55] The other thing Ariel does now
[01:06:59] is she's a big cat that likes,
[01:07:01] she's not a big cat, let me rephrase it.
[01:07:03] She's a cat that's big on fetch,
[01:07:05] she likes to play fetch which is fun
[01:07:08] but like she still kinda sucks at it.
[01:07:10] The thing she plays fetch with specifically
[01:07:14] and wants me to throw all the time
[01:07:15] are like these sort of like cotton,
[01:07:18] no not cotton but they're like these puff balls
[01:07:20] that came with a very stupid toy plastic revolver.
[01:07:25] It was like a gun you shoot, puff balls
[01:07:28] and it goes all of like four feet.
[01:07:30] She hates the gun but we have 100 of these things
[01:07:34] and she demands that they're tossed.
[01:07:37] She brings them back 100 times,
[01:07:39] leaves them as gifts for all of them
[01:07:41] but we had to bust out the couch
[01:07:45] because when he was sick, pull out couch
[01:07:48] and dude there was like a thousand puff balls
[01:07:53] like she was stashing them in there.
[01:07:56] When you have a cat,
[01:07:57] having a cat becomes the movers delight.
[01:08:00] I experienced this because every single time
[01:08:03] they lift up any piece of furniture
[01:08:05] there's like 1000 cat toys
[01:08:07] that have like a pound of dust integrated.
[01:08:12] That dust is never coming off.
[01:08:13] It's not dust only.
[01:08:14] No, no you have to burn it.
[01:08:15] Yes.
[01:08:17] It was truly nonsense how many little forgotten cat toys
[01:08:20] there were that Lucy had batted under
[01:08:22] whatever piece of furniture never to be seen again
[01:08:25] and I imagine she's loading up this place as we speak.
[01:08:30] She's got a little more space
[01:08:31] so you can really cram more doodads everywhere.
[01:08:35] I had the Murphy bed out today
[01:08:37] because I had to make sure.
[01:08:40] Because it's funny, because it's inherently funny.
[01:08:43] No because in-laws are visiting
[01:08:45] and they go have month and a half
[01:08:47] and they're gonna stay in the Murphy bed
[01:08:49] and I needed to measure like what type of mattress.
[01:08:51] Is this a full or a queen
[01:08:53] so that I could get bedding for it
[01:08:55] and when I brought that mattress down
[01:08:57] Lucy was like oh finally a bed for me
[01:09:00] and she just like plopped there.
[01:09:02] It was so funny because she loves getting petted.
[01:09:06] She has no, she loves us touching us,
[01:09:09] being close to us, snuggling with us.
[01:09:12] She's obsessed with it.
[01:09:13] In fact when she wakes up
[01:09:14] and we're not in the room with her
[01:09:16] she gets scared and starts crying.
[01:09:19] She needs to be close to us.
[01:09:20] When she was on this bed
[01:09:22] I could not get my hand within three inches of her.
[01:09:25] She would go like meow and laugh at me
[01:09:28] because she was like you can't have my fucking bed.
[01:09:31] The bed's mine now.
[01:09:33] It was very funny.
[01:09:35] It's hers.
[01:09:36] Hope your in-laws like getting a tag.
[01:09:38] Yeah so I closed her up in the wall.
[01:09:40] That's where she lives now.
[01:09:41] Hey Lucy, I see you're poking out.
[01:09:44] What if that was true?
[01:09:46] She could be in the walls.
[01:09:47] She'd be in fucking hoggy heaven.
[01:09:49] What was that line in Always Sunny?
[01:09:50] I think a cat got in through one of the seams
[01:09:53] in your wall.
[01:09:54] Oh yeah and it's like that's not physically possible
[01:09:56] and it's like do you think cats obey
[01:09:59] the laws of what is possible?
[01:10:01] Clearly you've never had a cat.
[01:10:03] And I believe that was another great example
[01:10:06] of the idiot was right.
[01:10:09] Oh my god.
[01:10:10] You know what?
[01:10:12] The tomato man is the greatest mensch who ever lived
[01:10:16] and I love the tomato man
[01:10:18] because literally before we started recording this
[01:10:21] I sent him an email about what I just complained about
[01:10:24] and again literally now in real time
[01:10:28] he's responded and gave me a full refund for the dead plant.
[01:10:31] Oh that's good.
[01:10:35] All right we have no issues with the tomato man.
[01:10:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:10:40] Tomato man is the best guy of all time.
[01:10:42] I love tomato man.
[01:10:43] Also they're like $9 a plant.
[01:10:45] It's not like it's killing me.
[01:10:46] Although yes it is.
[01:10:48] Everything, my whole life is purchases.
[01:10:51] It'll never end.
[01:10:54] It won't, it won't.
[01:10:57] Shall we wrap it up?
[01:10:59] I have my son coming home soon.
[01:11:02] That guy's so cool.
[01:11:03] He's dead and lad.
[01:11:04] He's so fun.
[01:11:06] He is the auto laugh from him,
[01:11:11] the thing that will make him just be like instant giggle
[01:11:14] is you just make like bubble.
[01:11:15] Oh my god, noises and he just fucking loses his mind.
[01:11:19] I'm gonna become the John Coltrane
[01:11:23] of bips and bops over here.
[01:11:25] Oh my god, I need to see the boy make him laugh.
[01:11:29] Yeah it's a good time.
[01:11:32] I need to do this for him.
[01:11:37] He would lose his mind.
[01:11:39] There we go, that's a good one.
[01:11:41] There we go, I got it.
[01:11:42] It takes a few tries to get the perfect drop
[01:11:46] but once I get it, it's like oh
[01:11:48] and it sounds like a cartoon drop
[01:11:50] from a cartoon faucet into a bucket.
[01:11:55] Yeah we're done.
[01:11:56] Did you like this?
[01:11:57] This was just us talking.
[01:11:59] This was like literally what if we turn the microphone on
[01:12:05] and then go?
[01:12:07] The issue being we have other stuff
[01:12:09] that requires too much spin up.
[01:12:14] We were like yeah this is all good stuff.
[01:12:16] This is all sort of like big picturesque ideas
[01:12:19] but there's like a episode.
[01:12:21] We have to talk now.
[01:12:22] Yeah and it's like I could like,
[01:12:26] I'm not trying to say.
[01:12:28] I know what he's trying to say.
[01:12:30] If this was good, which it was, tell Tom that
[01:12:33] and then if it wasn't, don't tell Tom that
[01:12:39] and we'll just delete the episode
[01:12:41] and just feel shame forever.
[01:12:43] Is that it?
[01:12:44] Yeah yeah it's pretty much.
[01:12:45] Also, if you have pimpy and vape,
[01:12:51] don't inbreed them.
[01:12:52] Just don't.
[01:12:53] If you have those, I don't know.
[01:12:56] What do you mean don't inbreed them more?
[01:12:58] Well okay, what I should say is don't make them
[01:13:02] have further sex with members of their family.
[01:13:05] Oh my god, pimpy and vape are in the family
[01:13:08] that sucks and fucks.
[01:13:12] All right that's all the time we have for Animated Psycho.
[01:13:16] Three vapes sucking.
[01:13:20] I've been Joe and Anime Zeke.
[01:13:21] Bye bye, bye bye, see you.
[01:13:23] Thank you for listening to Anime Psycho.
[01:13:26] I've been Tom, a psycho.
[01:13:28] You can follow me on Twitter at TomHarrison19.
[01:13:30] Joe was also a psycho.
[01:13:32] You can follow him on Twitter at ShariaUncle.
[01:13:35] You can follow Anime Psychos on Twitter at AnimeSychos
[01:13:38] or email us at AnimeSychos.gmail.com.
[01:13:41] Please leave us a review or something.
[01:13:43] I don't know, tell a friend.
[01:13:46] Anyway, until next time bye.