191: The Sickos Read Cog Tales

[00:00:00] Music

[00:00:27] Hello everybody, welcome to Anime Sickos. It's a podcast for geniuses and the only podcast

[00:00:34] where we take a look at the four pillars of modern misery anime gaming posting and

[00:00:39] jobs I'm smiling and laughing because I thought to myself what if I said five

[00:00:43] and I found that so amusing. I am Tom in Anime Sicko. I'm Joe in Anime Sicko. So

[00:00:50] today is cool this episode. Tom and I have often been like when are we gonna

[00:00:55] take a show on the road? What are we gonna do a live show? Yeah, what are we

[00:00:58] gonna do the bell house? You know like the basic podcast stuff. So we are

[00:01:04] actually doing a non-location episode right now that a little unplanned. So what

[00:01:11] happened to me and this is a normal mistake for guys to do is I did my

[00:01:19] taxes wrong and I was under the impression that when you do your taxes

[00:01:23] wrong they fine you or like scary guys come and garnish your wages. Basically

[00:01:29] I was under the impression that there would be like paperwork consequences.

[00:01:33] What happened is they shoved me in a crate and shipped me to an Antarctic

[00:01:39] research station. This was not surprising to me Joe because I have

[00:01:44] basic financial literacy. I knew this since I was like 18. This is like it's

[00:01:49] there was a little rhyme don't do your taxes and you'll go to Antarctica. I guess

[00:01:56] it wasn't really much of a rhyme maybe that's why it didn't catch on with you.

[00:01:59] They should have made it rhyme and it would have been a mnemonic but what I

[00:02:04] don't understand. I got put in the crate. Yeah so the issue is so I got

[00:02:12] a kid now right? Yeah okay so that's one dependent yeah and then I thought

[00:02:18] who's another dependent who really depends on me and it's like Tom. I'd say Tom

[00:02:23] depends on me. This is particularly okay I have an appeal in progress because this

[00:02:27] doesn't make any fucking sense because you don't give like you don't give me any

[00:02:31] money for anything maybe if we have like dinner together you'll pay like half the

[00:02:35] time that doesn't fucking count. Okay but you depend on me for jokes and

[00:02:39] goops. Okay that's fair. Yeah that's right you should be here yeah okay

[00:02:44] And obviously I was not looking forward to our new life in the Antarctic

[00:02:50] research station because it's probably gonna be cold and it sucks. Depressing. But

[00:02:55] everyone working there like loves the show. It's like it's really refreshing.

[00:03:02] They're like what are you gonna fucking do some game mechanics and stuff yeah it's

[00:03:06] really good. Yeah they like the game mechanics rankings they listen to

[00:03:11] those episodes twice. They've not heard the audio drummers though they're

[00:03:16] gonna get to it. They're gonna get to it. I know a couple Steve I think is on

[00:03:23] Dr. Firewire of PsychoStrike 2 he says he's gonna get to it. I can't like ask

[00:03:29] you know that like it's just it's pestering if I ask. There is one

[00:03:36] guy who is the thing he has listened. This sucks because I would say the guy who

[00:03:43] is the thing is probably our most enthusiastic guy. Yeah yeah also no

[00:03:49] one believes us when we say he's the thing. They think we're doing a joke.

[00:03:53] No he's the thing. You know and like the reason he's the thing and we're

[00:03:59] broadcasting from the cafeteria because they were like it's spirit week you

[00:04:02] guys got to get in there. Yeah so everyone I cannot stress this enough the

[00:04:08] reason that guy is the thing it's because remember when that dog that

[00:04:14] everyone loved went missing? Well it came in here and animorphed into that

[00:04:20] guy. No I didn't. You know that makes you sound so guilty. No it doesn't. In fact that's something the thing would say.

[00:04:28] Oh shit Joe. Fuck you're the thing? How long have you been the thing? I'm not the thing.

[00:04:33] Okay well we can deal with that later. I do want to say though before I thought

[00:04:40] personally now the people are great but I thought that I would be depressed on

[00:04:44] account of how chilly I'd be. I hate the cold. I've lived in Chicago and I

[00:04:50] still hate all the winters you know living here my whole life I don't get

[00:04:52] used to it I still hate it every time so I thought Antarctica was gonna be

[00:04:55] absolute bullshit but the weather here is amazing. It's like 65. I went on a run

[00:05:03] outside earlier today it was beautiful it's that kind of you're not uncomfortable

[00:05:08] but you never sweat it was beautiful there are a lot of scientists killing

[00:05:15] themselves though not sure what that's about. It's not weather related though

[00:05:18] because it's been great yeah honestly if I had known they were feeling down

[00:05:23] I would have told them we could have gone for a jog. Yeah, we need some sun.

[00:05:27] It works it makes a difference. There's a lot of birds I'm surprised. Yeah yeah

[00:05:36] So that's our Antarctica show. Sorry do we have more?

[00:05:40] Are there any fucking Patreons? We do have one. Thank you money giver.

[00:05:44] This is the third rat queen Zelda you know we haven't even gotten the first

[00:05:50] and second rat queens so this I think I think you get like bumped up two slots

[00:05:54] by patronizing us third rat queen Zelda. I know what a rat queen wait rat queen

[00:05:59] actually I know what a rat king is so I'm assuming a rat queen is like even bigger

[00:06:03] yeah and a girl wow I feel like it can only be a good thing because again a

[00:06:09] rat king famously like a good sign they never will rat king never gave us no

[00:06:14] money dollars for making a podcast and that's rat queen rat queen bit so

[00:06:19] that's that in the bag folks how about a cog talk? Cog talk. Cog talk.

[00:06:30] Folks Joe's got a bunch of horrible stories about his job but he doesn't want to tell him because

[00:06:38] might get in trouble. It's not so much that they're horrible it's just that like it's

[00:06:45] like I have been through like layoffs and I've also been through the layoffs that are

[00:06:51] like there are layoffs coming type layoffs but all of that has been in a physical office

[00:06:56] so you have like some sort of like humanity with like people as you like look around and

[00:07:00] this is wonder who's gonna get it. I'm going through something similar I think I'm okay for now

[00:07:06] but doing it when you're like just remote and like a little isolated atom is very funny.

[00:07:13] Frankly very funny because what is the what is the actual like fallout of someone getting

[00:07:20] laid off is that like their slack icon. Please stop using your computer.

[00:07:23] Their slack icon's gone and that home they're just like you have to send us our computer back

[00:07:28] to us and now you don't get money. Please stop using the computer put it in a box

[00:07:34] and send it to us your health insurance is cancelled. I'm gonna do this really quickly

[00:07:39] because I think I may have told this on the show before but I had an old laptop that I told

[00:07:43] work about like hey I still have this. Do you want it back? You want me to put it in the special box

[00:07:47] and they said no simply destroy it and take a picture of it having been destroyed

[00:07:52] and it was the most fun I ever had. Yeah I recently was one of the sole survivors of a

[00:07:58] lot of layoffs and I'm one of the last guys who do the job that I do. There used to be a

[00:08:04] team now it's like pretty much just me and my manager is some guy who has no idea what I do

[00:08:11] or how it's done. I have found myself in that professional situation in two different jobs

[00:08:19] which is to say you get moved under another guy who just like he's got other shit going on

[00:08:26] you know and he's just like sure man but he's not gonna like try to get rid of you

[00:08:29] because headcount is king. Yeah and like he doesn't know if I'm doing a good job or not.

[00:08:35] To me if my job were turning a crank our one-on-ones would be hey hey Tom you got anything to share

[00:08:43] I'm like well the handle is a little sticky on the crank this week and he's like no what is a handle

[00:08:50] and I explain the handle to him and he's like so do you grab this with your hands or

[00:08:55] and then like two hours later I'll get a slack it's like hey Tom is this handle connected to anything

[00:09:04] that's it that's where I'm at it's it's great I hope I don't get fired because I need to pay for

[00:09:11] this fucking house that I moved to that's what a dumb fucking move I can't believe I did that

[00:09:18] it's actually great I can't believe it easily. I will say a thing I sent Tom recently is like

[00:09:24] proof of like am I alive like thing is uh support channel someone was like hey can someone help me

[00:09:33] with this and I said yes I will look into this now and then four minutes later a different person

[00:09:39] was like can I get a status update and I and I said uh I've been doing it for four minutes

[00:09:48] and like most of the time when things like that happen the actual root cause is just someone

[00:09:53] just not reading like you're just like status update whatever it's fine I understand but like

[00:10:00] I cannot interpret that as anything other than like I don't know why you're not doing it faster

[00:10:06] and I know that's not the actual intent but like my brain is like go faster like whatever's

[00:10:12] happening is wrong it needs to be faster faster. The only other explanation I could think of

[00:10:16] is like they've become addicted to uh like some sort of time crash scenario where like

[00:10:24] they they're mind every minute for them is a year. Yes exactly and uh they've got cronotone poisoning

[00:10:32] and thus you know for them they've been waiting for what what you would call in your foolish

[00:10:40] simply four-dimensional time stream how ridiculous how how primitive what you would call 100 000

[00:10:48] years for them elapsed in the last four minutes. I think what was so defeating about it is like

[00:10:54] I could not have done a single thing faster like I got it it was like when you pull off a flawless

[00:11:02] Tony Hawk combo just like there's no room for improvement here like all the inputs were correct

[00:11:08] and it still was just like pick it up yeah incredible there are more examples they're not

[00:11:17] going to go into them but uh my understanding of Joe's workplaces that uh he goes on the computer

[00:11:24] the torment cube and a bunch of beings inside the cube who don't understand what linear time is

[00:11:33] yell at him for not having cronotone poisoning yeah see the issues I get yelled at for stuff I

[00:11:39] haven't done in as a future being so it's like future Joe is not completed this report yet and

[00:11:45] I'm like I don't even know how to talk to him yet. So for the rest of the cog talk I'm going

[00:11:51] to do something because you know we don't want to get too into the specifics uh for Joe and

[00:11:55] I really told you my my cog thing lately has been the guy asking me what a handle is and that's fun

[00:12:03] though because he's so clearly I'm not going to say this but I'm so obviously trying to figure out

[00:12:09] what the fuck you do so I can tell another guy what you do without looking like an asshole but I

[00:12:15] also don't want to just be like hey man I don't know what's going on you've got to help me out

[00:12:22] yeah it's pretty much exactly that um one thing that is very funny is that he'll often ask me like

[00:12:29] questions about like is this being done on like a macro scale I like there's everyone doing this

[00:12:36] who's everyone and it's just like buddy I cannot impress upon you hard enough that now and always

[00:12:46] I have only known what I'm doing even when we were a big team uh with people in Chicago on the east

[00:12:55] and west coasts and overseas even then the only person who I could tell you about like

[00:13:02] does this checked regularly well I know what I do who fucking knows what anyone else does

[00:13:08] anyway I keep getting sidetracked what we're gonna do is something that we've forgotten to do

[00:13:14] we forgot we even set this up and we've forgotten to pay it off for years with a s we've forgotten

[00:13:20] about it so thoroughly that after we decided that we're gonna do it this episode before we started

[00:13:24] recording Joe was like what are we doing I fucking forgot yeah it's like we got a plan on this one

[00:13:29] we are going to read listener submitted cog stories how do I submit one there's a form we'll put it

[00:13:38] the link in the show notes and on the tweet for this episode so you can send us more so

[00:13:43] we can read them later Joe let's without further ado I'm gonna read the first one this is from a

[00:13:48] homie by the name of anson rose thank you anson thank you anson I will now read it verbatim quote

[00:13:55] I work at dubbomb factory yeah okay technically not but I work for the company that bought

[00:14:06] Raytheon in 2020 rtx corporation this is ridiculous because I didn't know art I thought they were the

[00:14:12] top of the food chain yeah how can they be bought not so rtx is there's video cards yes that's

[00:14:18] that's what makes graphics oh that's why the videos were so much now yes yeah it's really funny

[00:14:25] yeah the real reason in videos were so much is because of fucking ai hype it's so sad

[00:14:31] there's this guy on youtube at once sometimes and he went to davos to sort of like here's what it

[00:14:37] actually is like like there's a lot of conspiracy theories but like here's what it really is uh it

[00:14:42] could really is just a bunch of the dumbest guys in the world uh trying to get rich quick

[00:14:48] even though they're already rich and like the depressing thing is that like previous davos is

[00:14:53] the big hot thing was like uh fucking this company found a better way to get sand or like

[00:15:00] these motherfuckers found lithium in the ground uh like real things and now like the only investment

[00:15:07] opportunities in uh davos anyone cares about or is some shit you look at on you phone uh that's

[00:15:14] different anyway rtx corporation now back to the story now the same company that makes jet

[00:15:21] engines for bowing owns debaum factories and over a thousand of those engines were recalled last year

[00:15:27] and i bet there's a lot more that should have been recalled that weren't no they got them all oh okay

[00:15:32] so yeah the airplanes are fine actually i said they were sorry and also that guy uh

[00:15:41] don't worry about him yeah yeah uh they did not hire barry bowing does not hire barry i love

[00:15:49] bowing bowing don't hire barry on me um okay story continuing i work in corporate cyber security so

[00:15:58] my job is the guy in netrunner who makes a spreadsheet of all the servers that don't have any ice so the

[00:16:04] ceo can go uh just play hedge fund three times why would we put ice in this deck ice don't give

[00:16:10] me any credits they cost credits that's a really good example i just want to say i was very

[00:16:16] impressed i mean i always love a good netrunner reference uh CEOs do love playing hedge fund

[00:16:24] that's a great card um anyway the most insane thing i've witnessed was the time my coworker got

[00:16:31] a phone call from a bomb factory 1000 miles away a guy oh a guy was blaming us for the bomb

[00:16:40] moving robot arm freezing and holding a missile over everyone's head it sounded like they weren't

[00:16:49] enjoying it oh no they blamed us because if you look at any factory computer wrong it'll totally

[00:16:58] shit itself for no reason so they thought that we was to ping the robot arm when we were making

[00:17:03] our spreadsheet i don't know if they ever got the missile down but that robot arm is still online

[00:17:10] just a big bomb floating above your head as you do your warehouse job it's so funny how like it is

[00:17:17] true that all sort of computers that are used for like work that needs to happen every day

[00:17:23] are terrible and run on software from 20 years ago because to update them would mean

[00:17:30] stopping them for a second yes yeah and like i know that like the one everyone goes to is

[00:17:38] medical the hospital the doctor uses windows 95 baby uh but i just love like

[00:17:47] there can be everyone at at fat like hell hq can just be like uh oh like we're a

[00:17:55] well literal sort of damoclesis over our head today i guess that's just how it happens

[00:18:00] no good no good we want to do another one yeah this one's from a homie nimble will h thank you

[00:18:06] will thank you will give us your cog juice i hated saying that yeah no don't no one give us your juice

[00:18:15] unless it's like we're literally talking about juice no just stop there's no not even then because

[00:18:21] it's just no okay what if they're handing out juice boxes for the last two in line and they

[00:18:26] don't have any i'd like a zero survival instinct you're gonna wait in line for a stranger to give

[00:18:32] you a juice box you're i'm not saying a stranger i'm saying teacher

[00:18:38] anyway uh while working compliance and payroll for a manufacturing plant a manager came into my

[00:18:45] office telling me to do something really smart that made a lot of sense no i just made that part up

[00:18:51] rewind a manager came into my office telling me to call an uber to the hospital and then

[00:18:57] immediately walked away i don't use uber and i don't know which hospital i sent

[00:19:06] which hospital descended to i followed him out trying to ask him why and learned that a worker

[00:19:13] had fainted not only did this happen on the other side of the building a five minute walk

[00:19:18] but the manager who came over was in charge of employee safety i asked if we should call an

[00:19:23] ambulance and he yelled at me for not helping somebody oh yeah okay so you know getting an ambulance

[00:19:29] called is probably an important metric whereas an uber is a freebie yep uh somebody else ended up

[00:19:36] driving the employee to the hospital i later was reprimanded by our general manager for not

[00:19:42] listening to the manager and he wouldn't hear me out when i tried to explain well yeah for

[00:19:47] the same reason the manager was right for not wanting a paper trail of something dangerous

[00:19:54] happening at the factory you're not supposed to have to reset that it's been x days since accident

[00:19:59] sign it should only go up yeah i mean this is how it always goes baby uh before i left that job

[00:20:06] i told multiple bosses about how there was no plan of action for this situation none of them ever

[00:20:12] responded to me or the problem well yeah why would they the thing is like ignoring stuff like

[00:20:19] i mean it can work out no i mean think about it this way a lot of times in my job something

[00:20:26] is like introduced like this is a tool you can use or this is a tracking system or but

[00:20:32] this that that that and what i do is i listen as this is being explained for any sort of

[00:20:39] verbiage that indicates requirement or mandatory if i don't hear that shit i do not ever think about

[00:20:46] whatever that thing is and i am strictly under the the impression that native resolution had in

[00:20:52] sickle shack too which is if it's a big deal someone will tell me about it i'll get like how

[00:20:56] come you're not using bonaman i'm like oh i'm sorry was i supposed to i'll get on that right

[00:21:00] away so you'll never believe how infrequently anyone ever calls me out on any of these things

[00:21:08] never uh it's hilarious let's see if we got another good one okay this one's good this one

[00:21:15] longest hell this may be the last one we can get to this is from a sicko engineer

[00:21:22] so i experienced an unabashedly terrible hellscape at an electric vehicle company

[00:21:28] not the one owned by redacted emerald mine billionaire

[00:21:32] mm so the one i own yes i'm doing a shitty job too to preface this before i started this company

[00:21:39] it was primed for the expectations of the person that would ultimately be my boss that i did not

[00:21:43] need to be an expert at the task that would be doing and that this role was intended to be a

[00:21:47] growth and learning opportunity well there's your first mistake you motherfucker what are you

[00:21:52] thinking you believed that think about learning and growth uh it's never happened ever uh it's

[00:22:00] it's like swamp gas because it's just like a thing you say to paper over the real truth like it's

[00:22:06] you've never actually been swamp gas it's never been a weather balloon it's always been an alien

[00:22:10] yeah you still hear it um well back to the story it sure was a fucking learning experience

[00:22:15] so this person who would become my boss was one of the people who directly convinced me to quit

[00:22:19] and otherwise all right but an exciting job to come work for redacted electric vehicle company

[00:22:25] first and foremost before even arriving i had told multiple people multiple times that my

[00:22:29] work laptop should be mailed to my current home but they sent it to the absolutely wrong

[00:22:35] address and didn't inform me until like two weeks later after it had already arrived that they had

[00:22:40] shipped it and it was obviously fucking gone by then but all right so week one was like what you

[00:22:46] would almost expect from your first week in a new company a bit of touring around the facilities

[00:22:51] and meeting some people but the first red flag hit was absolutely no official onboarding or

[00:22:56] establishing what doing the role successfully would look like and not being brought to speed with

[00:23:01] what the company was working on at large i asked multiple times the like expecting the usual

[00:23:08] hr corporate powerpoint and you know access to the engineering software i'd ultimately be using

[00:23:14] to perform work but there was just nothing i was quote just a contractor and quote didn't

[00:23:19] need those things all this sounds like it's making perfect sense to me i don't it was just

[00:23:26] a contractor so we just need to take you around you know like when the zoo takes the penguins around

[00:23:32] it's like isn't this fun for them aren't they enriched if the penguin was like can you give me

[00:23:37] a overall look of what this zoo's five-year plan is and what did that enclosure i just saw what

[00:23:44] was that about what was the purpose of that they would never answer the penguins i'm sorry

[00:23:49] this happened to you sicko engineer but like i'm not surprised yet um but maybe it gets worse

[00:23:57] it was also at this time that my boss laid the ultimate trap an 8 a.m meeting every morning okay

[00:24:06] at this point i would be like

[00:24:10] like uh oh bye bye then like i quit i quit here no 8 a.m every morning holy shit it was

[00:24:19] i'm guessing this isn't like a stand-up part of a larger thing this is just uh hanging out

[00:24:25] it was originally spun as quote let's put this on our calendars so no one else bothers us during

[00:24:30] this time and we can occasionally use it to check in oh god this is like this is

[00:24:37] this is a jordy line from modesty city when like it's a smarmy slimy boss line that like

[00:24:45] the actual words that are being said are like not so bad but like you know but they're poison actually

[00:24:51] they're literal venom yes like you are going to start taking dot ticks immediately as soon as

[00:24:57] they're said i was like back to the story i was like this is kind of funky but okay startup culture

[00:25:03] is a little different i'll just roll with it so far it's a little off nominally but that feeling

[00:25:08] of being a nice shiny new cog in a new machine feels kind of good when you get that fresh

[00:25:13] layer of grease it it does though like like your first few days at a new job no matter what it is you

[00:25:22] you're capable of telling yourself that this will fix everything because you have no frame of

[00:25:28] reference yet and nobody is gonna say like so one thing i know is that this shit fucking

[00:25:34] sucks and also everyone's gonna be so frustrating to talk to and this is also key you haven't

[00:25:40] done real work yet yes uh week two rolls around and we fly halfway across the country to go visit

[00:25:46] the plant and do inspections see the plant for validate some parts very important note this

[00:25:52] flight was on a fancy charter plane the company only used for its employees and was egregiously

[00:25:57] expensive upon arriving i'm informed for the first day will just be one of those conference

[00:26:02] rooms working on specifications i think okay first day just got done flying we'll take it easy

[00:26:07] we'll rack out this bit of paperwork we discussed in passing last week and then it's on to the shop

[00:26:12] floor so then i spent the rest of my week quote visiting the factory in the conference room writing

[00:26:20] stuff on my computer that i absolutely 10 000 could have done literally anywhere i did not see

[00:26:27] literally any part of the factory floor i did not meet anyone adjacent to my team that i might

[00:26:33] work with on the entire week that i'm there i was just because of like the torturous out not like

[00:26:39] it's funny to say it is funny but like it's this is a hellraiser thing right this reminds me nothing

[00:26:44] so much as tony mckennery's office building new cabinetry in front of the heating and cooling

[00:26:52] vents and then when people complain i'm cold they say well i assure you that we're wasting a lot

[00:26:59] of resources and money blasting the heat at full capacity so shut the fuck up even though like the

[00:27:08] only thing was happening is that they're finally compressed plywood was getting yes yes yes oh i love

[00:27:15] this uh okay all that he was tasked with is writing the specifications now these specifications

[00:27:20] which he couldn't see right like yeah just so we're clear like you write specifications can i see

[00:27:24] the parts no these specifications are quote very important documents and like i mentioned before

[00:27:31] i'm not an expert at the thing that i was tasked to do but like i like knew enough to not be totally

[00:27:35] coming from nothing and at least enough to draft this up and have my boss give me some direction

[00:27:39] or feedback to get them over the finish line so i spent the whole week quote at the factory

[00:27:44] writing these up and i shit you not daily i would bring up information from like the four to six

[00:27:49] different very large very expansive code books that i absolutely was not allowed to reference in

[00:27:54] our specifications that needed to be summed up in these documents and would always get a different

[00:27:59] answer for direction one day it was let's pick the most stringent next it's for the guys on the

[00:28:04] line the day after well manufacturing will push back on that even though it's the most stringent

[00:28:09] like i asked and so forth and the goalposts moved daily and after a few days of getting mixed

[00:28:15] feedback i decided to just move forward and start trying to add red lines and changes

[00:28:20] all of which got no feedback yet well can i interject here with the observation of a movie

[00:28:24] you said once that stuck with me and it's absolutely what this is uh watch barton fink and

[00:28:29] the way you described the film producer as you said he's a different guy every time yes yes

[00:28:35] and and that is very much what i feel uh is happening here yeah like the the

[00:28:42] scenes with the film producer are like legitimately very scary because at first

[00:28:47] he's like really i love you barton fink i'm like honestly what i'm about is nurturing artists

[00:28:54] like you and we're gonna do anything it takes to make sure you are able to put out your best

[00:28:57] work because that's really what i care about is that you made your best work and then like the

[00:29:01] next time he visits he's like evil and he's like but you were so nice before and he's like no

[00:29:07] i wasn't like that was like it's like it's a different guy like this is he may be in the same

[00:29:14] meet that you were sitting in front of before but like this is a different guy like all that

[00:29:19] shit didn't happen before that happened to a guy who died like this is a new guy it's so also

[00:29:25] he can't read it's so funny too when he reads this when he reads the final script which he

[00:29:30] can't read he's just i had lu read it to me which is just so fun like just a guy reading

[00:29:35] you an entire screenplay yeah that's life baby um okay so he's getting barton finked is what i'm

[00:29:42] saying yes it's true uh all of this shit that he was doing got no feedback except for the one section

[00:29:47] that i changed a page and a half of dead text into an easily readable table that was i was

[00:29:52] immediately scorned for changing so needless to say this is going poorly and i was increasingly

[00:29:58] frustrated that i was flown halfway across the country to see the factory only to be stuck

[00:30:01] in a conference room so daily i was asking when do we go out and do the stuff we talked about last

[00:30:06] week before we got here to which my boss said and i quote you are being too demanding for wanting

[00:30:13] to see the factory while i was flown halfway across the country to see the factory i ultimately

[00:30:19] didn't see shit meet anyone or even make any tangible progress on the specifications that i

[00:30:24] was solely working kidnapped you're being too demanding

[00:30:30] he made no progress on the specifications that i was solely working on because the daily changes to

[00:30:34] who it was for and how it should be written left me asking for feedback roughly the entire day

[00:30:42] at this point moving into week three i'd be pretty thirdly dicked around for these specs that

[00:30:46] i have offered multiple times to stay late and work extra hard on it if i could just get some

[00:30:50] feedback on the stuff i had done thus far which never happened and i basically get no information

[00:30:55] or any idea of what is going on at any level of my work or the company at large by the end of my

[00:30:59] third week at the place so week four begins monday rolls around and my boss asks what if

[00:31:05] instead of making the specs we just document all the discrepancies in favor of manufacturing

[00:31:11] basically what if instead of doing the thing that's very important and fixing an existing

[00:31:15] problem we instead loaded our gun to start shooting each other

[00:31:22] oh my god was the gun idea a big hit i think so oh well who knows there's a glimmer of hope at

[00:31:29] the end of this dark tunnel monday evening my boss agrees to meet during our 8am scheduled

[00:31:34] meeting that we had never used prior to this point as we would just see each other at the office

[00:31:39] now this actually is why because i would have sworn that they would do the 8am meeting every

[00:31:43] day so maybe there is some hope here uh so okay we're gonna meet at their 8am meeting the next day

[00:31:50] to discuss the feedback that i had been asking for oh and this hope is immediately torched like a

[00:31:55] suburban high school dumpster uh my 8am meeting gets moved to 4 p.m the day after we agreed we

[00:32:02] would touch base in the morning to finally get the feedback then with the memory of the goldfish

[00:32:06] my boss asked me two hours later how feasible is it to have the specification and this other

[00:32:11] one you've barely touched ready for review on friday this is the barden fink thing it's a different guy

[00:32:18] yes uh i'm like getting like sick in my stomach just like you have to realize that at this point

[00:32:26] you're not actually getting asked to do work like by a colleague it's like so we're not sure

[00:32:31] what we're gonna read out before we hang you so we're just testing out a number of crimes

[00:32:39] seeing it if i was in this position i would use a sleepie trying to determine like is this

[00:32:44] intentional fucking with me or is there just like pure chaos in this person no fucking difference dude

[00:32:52] not uh negligible difference uh okay i give a reasonable response of if you can give me detailed

[00:32:59] feedback and notes by wednesday i will basically stay up all night thursday and friday to do

[00:33:04] both of those things the response let's actually work towards thursday i'm taking friday off

[00:33:11] the rest of the week was mostly unexciting except from aside from moving the 8am meeting every morning

[00:33:17] right before we were supposed to have it and then canceling it around lunchtime when i asked

[00:33:21] about this i was told you're just a contractor i am very important and i have to take very

[00:33:26] important calls of the very important c-suite and exec types but it was otherwise a consistent

[00:33:31] run around of things not getting done as i basically gathered information that needed a final approval

[00:33:36] for the addition to this spec i love the so this i kevin and i talked about this about our old evan

[00:33:43] stint job but i love when in order for anything to happen you need to get approval from someone

[00:33:50] when you were too low to actually like to like make any like i can think about how much i'm

[00:33:56] going to turn the crank i can like visualize the motions i'm gonna do but like i have to ask

[00:34:01] like can i turn the quank please because in that situation as here inevitably the person who says

[00:34:08] yes or no is like not a sub tell me more about this crank i don't this is the first time hearing

[00:34:17] yes yes it's like don't worry about what the quank isn't as it can i turn it and it'll

[00:34:21] be like i can't answer that right now because of some fucking i'm making some bullshit up

[00:34:27] bye bye chime in here the the the meeting moving of stuff that's supposed to be like

[00:34:36] with someone you need an update from i has happened to me in the context of like are we

[00:34:42] getting am i getting laid off and these meetings keep getting moved it's just like what am i live

[00:34:47] like it's just it's it's the axe yeah it's like okay like did i like did i become

[00:34:54] fucking slaughterhouse five am i unstuck in time like is this no don't take this the wrong way

[00:35:02] i just literally don't know is this how are you the devil like you could be if you were you'd

[00:35:10] be doing a really good job uh i can we go about his story for a second it's very funny

[00:35:15] uh to be like i'm actually a very important person and you're a contractor and it's like you

[00:35:20] you put him on the plane man yes you flew him out i don't know like a essentially a private jet

[00:35:28] that's what a charter jet is you just don't own it but like you really send in mixed messages

[00:35:34] as far as importance it's very very good it's easy to say like well it's not your money getting

[00:35:40] wasted so who cares but when you are like a person for whom wealth is distant

[00:35:48] it it does hurt like emotionally and a little bit physically to just like see see an idiot see a person

[00:35:56] of much lower brain quality than you just sort of like light a pile of money on fire and if you

[00:36:02] ask like why did you do that they look at you and say do what yeah because i have it and it's mine

[00:36:09] yeah uh oh fuck anyway so tuesday rolls around when i was told that as a contractor i cannot be at any

[00:36:17] of the work offices unless my boss is there uh and i was told this because she wanted to leave at 2 30

[00:36:23] p.m and had done so many times prior no issues with me staying like literally not even for a

[00:36:29] minute past their time am i allowed to stay something that was never explained to me during

[00:36:33] any step of the non-existing onboarding or contract negotiation at this point i'm very

[00:36:37] confused exceptionally flustered and have no clue whether or not i'm allowed to go to the office as

[00:36:41] i was doing that normally for the weeks prior you know the weeks when i wasn't getting flown to

[00:36:46] nowhere to do nothing so i ask should i come in tomorrow at the end of the day uh or work remotely

[00:36:53] to which i get no reply so in the morning i just woke up and said i'll be working remotely

[00:37:00] to which the boss's immediate response was i said yesterday we'd be working on site

[00:37:04] i have receipts for this whole shit show she never responded so tuesday is a big old shit fest

[00:37:10] but i at least knew i was supposed to be at work wednesday nine the next morning so like a reasonable

[00:37:15] human being who lives 30 minutes from work on a good day i planned and communicated in person

[00:37:19] to them that we would not do our 8 a.m meeting that we'd quite literally used maybe one time

[00:37:23] as normally scheduled since we'd be meeting at 9 a.m on site to which i get a message at

[00:37:28] 8 a.m are you joining the meeting i hopped on the meeting asking if she'd reviewed any of the specs

[00:37:34] i had sent her and she said no i told her i would be on site at 9 as planned and we would keep working

[00:37:40] on the next set of things to do we touched base in the morning in person and i saw her right after

[00:37:45] lunch so she was there on site when this next bit happened then an hour or two after lunch

[00:37:50] she told me to reach out to dalton not my actual name uh my brother's boss with no further

[00:37:56] instructions so i reached out to dalton and as i messaged him my contracting company called me

[00:38:03] to let me know i was fired dalton came by i made no fuss as i had already heard the news and it

[00:38:09] basically accepted i mean he had me turn over my computer and led me out of the building so after

[00:38:14] 3.5 weeks of basically unabashed help scape of redacted electric vehicle company my boss didn't

[00:38:20] even have the decency to fire me herself she went and had someone else's boss do it this

[00:38:26] is kind of a play by play and there are definitely some details left out but like this is just the gist

[00:38:31] of being in the most toxic work environment i've ever experienced i've literally worked in a radioactive

[00:38:36] nuclear reactor containment building whoo the issue here is its cars you understand if it was

[00:38:43] building electric anything else everyone would have been normal and nice uh but it was cared

[00:38:50] about things actually functioning correctly yeah but it's the sin of car jesus christ

[00:38:56] thank you for sharing that uh that was uh well i guess what i'm trying to say i'm sorry you experienced

[00:39:02] that uh it seems like a test from the devil uh yeah i uh and also like the best case scenario is you

[00:39:12] get a job there which is fun like when i had a similar situation where like yeah again i need

[00:39:21] confirmation and an approval for anything i want to do ever and the person who's in charge of giving

[00:39:26] it to me is an idiot who again is a different person every time you speak to them and doesn't

[00:39:31] understand the basic core concepts and does not remember stuff does not remember events that

[00:39:37] occurred uh in life when that happened to me the thing that was being made or not was blog posts

[00:39:45] for clients who inevitably would go wait a minute i'm paying for what and then cancel and they did

[00:39:52] uh this is like oh so your job was like way better and more yeah to the gp well my job at least um

[00:40:01] i felt like i was in hell but i didn't feel like the world like like something's wrong like the uh-oh

[00:40:09] like uh-oh this isn't good i can't handle when there's such obvious conflict between like

[00:40:16] you're telling me to be here also you clearly don't want me to be here like i just

[00:40:23] just kill me with a gun instead yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like do you understand that like as my job

[00:40:30] like this is like a lot of like it's a it's honestly a huge proportion of my life

[00:40:36] like it's not like the the timer is going down now the game's not paused like this is like for me

[00:40:42] this is it well you and this chunk of this is it is explicitly an environment where i have no idea

[00:40:50] if people hate me or not or why yeah and it's just like yeah it's it's so disrespectful again like

[00:40:57] this is most of my life like can we like talk can like i be on earth like please i hate this oh my god

[00:41:08] thank you sikko engineer for that horrible story and i i hope you have a better job now

[00:41:14] so after 30 days after tom has moved into his home i finally it was able to get over there largely

[00:41:29] important because i have a kid and also we only have one car uh and this is not a cda friendly

[00:41:35] route although it's not terribly far away so tom and i were like how do we see the thing is we

[00:41:41] had the opportunity to do the the detroiters thing where he could have lived in a townhouse

[00:41:48] literally next to me but he instead picked a much nicer place that was not from like 1985

[00:41:55] correct uh so tom suggested that like you don't don't buy a car just get a vespa i think this is

[00:42:02] a great idea it's fun it's you're living little shittily it's it's in theme there are

[00:42:09] there are vesp there's a few vespa havers no wait really yes like i said the thing that makes

[00:42:15] neighborhood fun is that a few people not many are doing the bit uh um the other thing that

[00:42:23] i laugh about it is because there's all those hospitals right there and there's medical

[00:42:28] students there's just always like indian guys blasting sigs after they just got done with

[00:42:32] like the worst shift of their life and it's just like literally baby i love it uh well so get a vespa

[00:42:40] what's the problem the problem with the vespa is that anyone who drop kicks you gets the vespa

[00:42:47] they win like game over no next step the minute you come to a stoplight i'm like i am not a person

[00:42:55] that wants to do crimes but like literally every time i've seen someone on a vespa to stoplight

[00:43:00] i have the thought i was like dude you can just get you just get a run and start

[00:43:06] you're gonna try to hit him in the center of mass uh and then you know it's your free vespa

[00:43:11] it's like it's like the same way you when you see a cop's gun and you're like oh well i better get

[00:43:15] that yeah it's got it's it's when you look at it the outline glows and a word appears about

[00:43:21] the e to interact um and it shows you whether it has more or less attack than your current equipment

[00:43:29] so uh yeah it's like folks have you ever been walking and someone's like walking the opposite

[00:43:35] direction or maybe you're in an airport and you know you're trying to navigate the crowd

[00:43:39] and you can kind of like without it being too much of an imposition you can sort of like

[00:43:45] nudge someone else so that you can be standing in a place and they're standing in somewhere

[00:43:50] all that taking a vespa is is that you just it's boop do do do and all it means is like

[00:43:56] no you stand a little bit this way and i stand here and like now it's now it's my vespa like

[00:44:03] i'm seeing i'm seeing the logo of the currently playing radio station fade in as soon as i step

[00:44:09] on that like it's mine now an 80 year old woman can use peaches ford b to take it from me

[00:44:18] and she'd be right to uh yeah i just i don't want another vehicle cars are expensive and stupid

[00:44:26] there's all that talk about getting a well not all that talk but there is

[00:44:30] talk of getting a brt a bus rapid transit route on western which that would fucking kick ass

[00:44:38] i don't uh it'll never happen one never happened too i like drive on western more than

[00:44:44] i'd like now because i'm closer to there and uh if getting places you kind of have to go on western

[00:44:50] a lot of the time i i i still think that even if there was a bus rapid transit lane on western

[00:44:57] it still would go slow as fuck because just like it's just western is just a series of the worst

[00:45:04] intersections on earth like one after the other like there's no intersection that is designed to

[00:45:10] allow the traffic that it bears to go through it at a reasonable rate like it won't happen well in

[00:45:17] dairy if you're doing the brt right it uh is moved in such a way that it's prioritized in the traffic

[00:45:26] lights but will that ever happen i don't yeah yeah yeah yeah uh there was like a plan i think in like

[00:45:31] the i don't know if it was the late 90s or early 2000s about doing the brt on ashland which

[00:45:39] they did a study for it and they're like this would kick ass all right one homeowner was like

[00:45:46] i don't like it because i think that the jews would go on that bus i say the jews but they

[00:45:52] actually would say it was probably a much worse word for a different race right yeah and uh yeah so

[00:45:59] i guess i need a bike but i will get hit immediately and my bones will turn to dust which

[00:46:06] will be a bummer you could get an e-bike i hear those are good kevin's got an e-bike he speaks

[00:46:11] very well of the e-bike he's also like a very he's a skilled bike rider in general to the point

[00:46:18] where like when he gets almost hit by a car he uh is polite at them to make them more pissed

[00:46:25] like i'm i uh am not uh there at all the issue with an e-bike is like sort of a

[00:46:32] returning to biking choices if you want to start biking again you get a shitty bike that's

[00:46:37] however many dollars that's one thing but uh e-bike it's like a macbook i i i'm i'm stupid

[00:46:44] uh someone's gonna just drop kick me there and take that as well mm-hmm you also have to

[00:46:50] think about like would you leave your macbook outside secured to a little lock that someone

[00:46:59] could go to home depot and get it like a two dollar clipper this is literally how uh because i live

[00:47:05] near the west loop where there's a lot of asshole money and there's a lot of just disgusting sports

[00:47:09] cars and the thing with all those sports cars is the same i have the same thought which is like

[00:47:14] even if i liked it and wanted a car i like wouldn't be able to handle the idea of just like leaving

[00:47:22] something with that much of a price tag to get hit by shopping carts yeah and like don't

[00:47:27] isn't the whole thing that like the catalytic converters are just like free money that you

[00:47:31] can take like you're allowed some hundais i think are also free like you just have to touch them

[00:47:36] and then they bond to you the day that they released the list of hundais that are again community

[00:47:43] property and the ionic was not on it was like one of the best days in my life i was like a

[00:47:48] fucking thank god of course there is in fact the there's still the threat of like the kia boys

[00:47:56] might not have had that list memorized and so they might like they just knew that like a hundai

[00:48:02] is like a uh a safe bet to just start hacking at yeah luckily that hasn't happened to me uh

[00:48:09] although i am biking now more because i live right by the 606 which like for for anything that's

[00:48:17] near the 606 which is like a pretty significant amount of shit like the stuff that is you know

[00:48:23] within two three blocks of the 606 it's not everything but like it's not nothing there's

[00:48:27] a lot of good stuff that i can get to on my bike extremely quickly very easily on the 606

[00:48:33] there are no cars you are the car uh for example we just met up with fucking homie worst of all

[00:48:41] possible world's podcast uh host josh borman we went to p quads i robbed my bike there took

[00:48:47] me 15 minutes incredible we got deep dish we were chicago basic the cool thing about visiting

[00:48:53] chicago people is you got to make a meat deep dish even if they don't like feel it but the truth is like

[00:49:00] p quads is good like it is good it's good uh people will tell you like chicago is actually

[00:49:07] the people love fucking doing this this is this is not like a dumb guy thing like i'm trying to

[00:49:14] get the juice for an episode of like my favorite dumb guy sayings like someone says this they're

[00:49:20] fucking they have they're basically saying to you like i'm a low quality person with a weak brain

[00:49:25] this is not exactly a dumb guy i think but it's on its way there which is the people who at any time

[00:49:30] pizza in chicago are said stumble over they're like they immediately like run into a sprint

[00:49:35] stumbling over themselves to be the first one to say actually actually the real chicago style

[00:49:40] pizza is thin crust tavern style from veto and nicks and then they fucking fall over dead

[00:49:47] their life having finally been given meaning for talking about tavern style here's the thing folks

[00:49:52] everyone loves deep dish is great it's like it's slaw it's a big pizza quiche like people like it's

[00:49:58] not actually pizza that's fine i'm willing to concede it's not but it's yeah it's a good

[00:50:04] it's a fucked up pot pie okay it's good like i like i was so heartened that josh was like ready

[00:50:11] to meet as a new yorker he was ready to meet deep dish where it was and not be a sneering asshole

[00:50:18] i always go to the awful viral john stewart rant about deep dish which i in my opinion is one of

[00:50:25] the worst pieces of comedy in the world it is childish rant that sucks big ass and the line

[00:50:34] the big like slam line that gets the oh is it's not even a pizza it's a casserole okay if that's true

[00:50:45] i'm so excited that chicago has a delicious signature casserole i can enjoy like what's the fucking

[00:50:51] problem asshole here's the thing though you got a bread bowl it's a fucked up bread bowl it

[00:50:55] doesn't matter i'll eat it it's fine it's good here's the move i didn't know this so i read

[00:51:00] this on our chicago food the one good subreddit if you're in chicago i imagine if you're not in

[00:51:06] chicago it's not very good uh that the move at piquas is to order light dough uh this intrigued me

[00:51:14] because last time i went to piquas i noticed that obviously the crust is delicious the cheese

[00:51:20] is great the sauce is good but the bottom crust like the bottom was way too thick the ratios

[00:51:27] were all wrong all the bites that did not have the edge the delicious signature edge

[00:51:33] were just overpowered by the dough on the bottom which was kind of didn't have enough flavor to

[00:51:40] stand up to being you know 70 of the bite and i was like this sucks like most of these bites are

[00:51:46] just fine then the crust is delicious like the edge crust is delicious but like i'm too much in

[00:51:52] my tummy is being filled up with just fine i hate this and so i didn't know if this was

[00:51:56] real or if someone was pranking me on the internet because like how mortifying would that be to be

[00:52:02] like i would like to uh order a pizza with light dough and they're like what are you talking about

[00:52:07] i'm confused can you show me on the menu what you mean and i go i read it online i read it on

[00:52:16] h ttp yeah uh fortunately though the uh waitress is like oh yeah people ask for that all the

[00:52:24] time that's no problem and it came out and the bottom crust was half the size it usually is

[00:52:30] and whoa duration that that doesn't why is it it was a good option because it is like very

[00:52:36] oh i don't want to say it just seems like the preferable version it's like the right way

[00:52:43] and why is that not the default why is it a secret menu item yeah like hey can you can you

[00:52:49] can you make this uh and i got this tip uh can you not fuck it up yeah it's like another

[00:52:57] you yeah i was a crazy off menu ask if you can do it that's fine if you can't i understand

[00:53:04] can you put the pizza in some sort of super heated chamber until like it cheese melts

[00:53:12] and the dough cooks like that for me that's the best uh we got uh we got we got a picture of blue moon

[00:53:21] and they're like we don't have any oranges which is so funny because it's like 90 percent of it

[00:53:26] and we were like who fucking cares give us yeah i don't want to drink anything else just fine

[00:53:30] yeah uh it was great it is so fun we the the important thing uh obviously it's awesome

[00:53:37] it's great to meet up with people we've done uh episodes with and talk about us that are working

[00:53:43] their work and everything but the most important thing is that josh said something very important to

[00:53:47] us and it was when you guys were ranking game mechanics junctioning gfs was so fucking funny

[00:53:56] and he's right yeah he's right he's correct that that is the you need to fly into chicago

[00:54:02] you tell us that junctioning gfs is just we really killed it and man it's just that is truly the

[00:54:13] podcasters delight when there's something that you can just describe with no uh embellishment

[00:54:22] just very literally and dryly talk through the facts and it's the funniest shit in the universe

[00:54:30] it's like well gfs are large spiritual beings that live in your brain and they are in your brain

[00:54:36] because they give you amnesia because the space that they're in would normally be from memories

[00:54:43] anyway while they're in there you have to junction spells to stats and oh so junction

[00:54:52] junction that was that really felt good because because sometimes it feels like the

[00:54:58] tier list for game mechanics is uh people love it but josh no they do i'm getting all the calls

[00:55:05] yeah you're getting more folks obviously you might be thinking well tom and joe when josh was in town

[00:55:12] did you take the opportunity to like get record something get oh get a session down on wax you

[00:55:18] know have the answer is yes obviously yeah it's great it's one of the best things you've ever

[00:55:22] done it was so funny oh yeah but then the issue is uh the cops took it from us they took the episode

[00:55:28] they were like this is too good this is gonna change the zeitgeist this is the entertainment

[00:55:34] from infinite jest we're the cops that have read infinite jest there are not many of us uh

[00:55:41] but anytime someone makes the entertainment they call us because otherwise the cops that you get

[00:55:46] are going to be like you made a video and it's like it's not a video it's a podcast like you

[00:55:50] made a fuck you made a video the and they're gonna just get so frustrated that they can't

[00:55:54] intellectually grasp what this is that they shoot you to death um and that's going to make the

[00:55:58] entertainment even more uh appealing because it's like oh dead creator i gotta check this out the

[00:56:03] person who made this died yeah uh it'll be like after the guy got shot by the police while he

[00:56:10] was holding his sword everyone wanted to read his post about i will never die are you kidding

[00:56:16] stop by the police while i'm holding his sword i like really had a hard time parsing that it's just

[00:56:21] like on one hand like this guy is like like there was a poster who this is the facts he was killed

[00:56:29] by the police because he was wielding a knife uh the other fact is that he had like many posts

[00:56:37] over the years that were all about like not getting shot by the cops with a knife like like

[00:56:43] it was just or a sword you said a sword a lot but that it was just like one of those things where it's

[00:56:48] like this is i it is funny but like the act of like trying to like talk about it makes me seem

[00:56:54] macabre and insane but like i don't know what else to say he had one that was something to the

[00:56:59] effect of like here's my impression of being white mimes not getting shot by the cops which

[00:57:05] like one didn't work out it didn't work out as a joke on its own that's a little too cruel

[00:57:11] and mean and sort of revels in white privilege in a way that's not fun it punches down as they say

[00:57:20] but then the opposite happens so it's like oh it was the you know what it is it's he ate a banana

[00:57:30] and he says i don't care about littering and throws it in front of him yes and well you can guess

[00:57:35] what happens next uh Jesus christ are we done this has been about an hour can we're good yeah yeah great

[00:57:43] episode slam dunk we're on fire uh this is a great uh we had a good time in the artic research station

[00:57:51] we're gonna make friendship bracelets with all the other guys yeah speaking of where is everybody

[00:57:56] oh there's the okay okay i see the guy who's the thing covered in blood okay i get it uh man

[00:58:03] there's another situation where we're right and it doesn't matter yeah uh i have to imagine he's okay i

[00:58:10] was gonna see if people would come over and talk to us but he's honest what i can see he's got his big

[00:58:14] like extra limbs that guy can climb on him yeah look at him go he saw he's busy um i had to

[00:58:21] imagine he won't kill us because he is a fan and he asked me if i was gonna write a sequel

[00:58:27] is it go check too and i said i didn't think so and he really encouraged me to try so wouldn't

[00:58:32] scan that he would then kill me unless he was being a dick unless he had been a well he is the thing

[00:58:38] anyway that's all the time he had for anime sickos uh i've been tom and anime sicko i'm joe and

[00:58:43] anime sicko we'll see you next time bye bye thank you for listening to anime sicko i've been tom

[00:58:51] a sicko you can follow me on twitter at tom harrison 19 joe was also a sicko you can follow him

[00:58:56] on twitter at sharia uncle you can follow anime sickos on twitter at anime sickos or email us

[00:59:03] at anime sickos at gmail dot com please leave us a review or something i don't know tell tell a friend

[00:59:09] anyway until next time bye