Comedy is an endless playground of creativity and innovation, but some jokes are so good that nothing could ever be better in its niche. We call these "Best in Slot" jokes and most of them are from 30 Rock, The Simpsons, and Venture Bros. Listen to us talk about them!
[00:00:00] Tom, do you have a wild fork by you? It's like a seafood, it's like a high-end-ish seafood. I guess they do like game meats. Do you, it's all any animal flesh. I have, I've seen one. It's on the nearest ones Belmont and Western.
[00:00:15] I don't like driving there and I don't really ever need their products. But I know like if I ever needed like like a pheasant Wild forks for me. I've seen yes. The answer is yes.
[00:00:29] Yeah, if you need to impress our harvest moon girl and you need to bring a single pheasant and then her heart goes up I'll hold a full pheasant over my head And run it towards
[00:00:41] The farmer girl. Yes the issue there's one by me. I've never been in it. The issue is Tom I drive by it a lot and It is located in what used to be a bank with the drive-thru I'm curious what this information
[00:00:58] does to your brain when I tell you because like Pneumatic tubes. Yeah, like it does like I want to call the people you ever put a fish through that sucker Like you know it works like it like it it does work. I know it works
[00:01:15] Talk about like a lost world that like only exists in my memory pneumatic tube first of all Going to the bank is a thing you had to do wild second of all when you go to the bank
[00:01:31] The thing you have to do involves like physical objects moving from one place to the other I'm like, I can't even think of what sort of bank Activity would would require that the fish bank the fish fish You need something right the fish bank you're making a withdrawal
[00:01:46] You save one fish, please And they put a fish in there and it's like it's alive again But then you get it and it's like no one's just meat. It's for eating for dinner and I like
[00:01:57] I just need everyone who's ever worked there to just say if they thought about it now that they did it But like has it crossed their mind like they've seen it. They know what's inside
[00:02:07] I mean, I have to feel like the human imagination even in in the most dire situations Has the spark of god enough in it that if you have Fish and meat and a big tube that makes something go That you're thinking about like you're gonna put
[00:02:27] A little piece of meat like mario and it's gonna go down through like it had you have to You know what still uses tubes has now fallen off for them Uh hospitals do it for a medication disbursement inside the hospital and like I remember
[00:02:42] When I was I was having my bad brain time and I like went to get the medicine and I saw it come out of the tube. I was like Oh, can I like stay here and stare at that not for mental health reasons, but for like autism reasons
[00:02:57] But it was very cool Honestly, if you work at that wild fork and you're not like after hours I know you can't do it during work But like after hours send a couple of pieces of meat through there just for like fun with your buds
[00:03:11] Like the guy on the other side could even dress up like an angler. It could be fun. He could have his bucket ready uh it would Actually, the people would be really impressed because they would see an angler walking around and they'd see huge ass fish
[00:03:26] And they'd be like hot what? Where this is like a crazy, but yeah They say they say this wild fourth place is a wonderland where meat and fish comes to me in a way
[00:03:37] And I can tell the quality because there's tubes involved the coolest thing in the world. They make a funny sound and uh, It's like from bio shock like someone did the puzzle and now the turret is shooting at the bad guys And you know what it is joe
[00:03:56] It's like these days Modern life is so goddamn gray You need you need a tube little bits of joy. You need a tube You need a tube the theme of bio shock is that you should entrust an irish person on the phone like that's no good
[00:04:40] Hello everybody, welcome to anime sickos It's podcast for geniuses and the only podcast where we take a look at the four pillars of modern misery anime gaming posting and jobs I am tom an anime sicko I am joe an anime sicko
[00:04:56] i'm gonna kick it off with a with a Rare segment that's one of the most beloved I'm gonna put the bumper now and you'll know exactly what I mean cat Cat It's cat talk
[00:05:14] So at the top of this I would like to address something that different people have said to me Which is like oh when you have a kid it's going to change how you feel about your cats Not at all true because they're like
[00:05:25] Cats are like little freaks that should be worshiped like I get why Religion in in egypt kind of had them as a central figure because they're cool and fun My son I want him to like get better at stuff
[00:05:39] My cat I the cats I don't want them to improve really ever. I just don't want them to you know, get sick So what has happened is the cats have like kind of ascertained that okay
[00:05:50] That baby guy is going to be around like he is he's here for the long haul and They are like I used to be baby like it was us And and one of the things i've been trying to do is like, okay
[00:06:03] We need to re-engage we need to play with them more But they also don't like their old stuff like one of the things I always do with ariel Is that uh, there's like these colored puffballs that came with a very stupid cowboy gun that I throw and she
[00:06:16] Fetches and brings them to me. Yeah She wants more attention. It is also over those and that was like her go-to thing You know what I mean roman is similarly falling off. Yeah Yeah, like they don't care about the wand as much anymore
[00:06:29] Uh, like they they engage a little bit But like they need like that thing to make them go nuts And the closest thing has been like the cat dancer, which is just like a big wire that has like a piece of cardboard on it uh
[00:06:44] But we we need a plan You know what actually works? is um Hiding like putting the toy away Like if you put away all the puffballs like where they can't see them for like a month or two
[00:06:59] You bring those out. That's a new toy like that is on and it's a new toy and you know The cats like it like we do that with lucy and we'll bring out like a wand we haven't played
[00:07:08] You know since the wand fell off we put the wand away for a couple months. We bring it back. She's like, oh And she goes nutty over it
[00:07:15] Um lucy also does a very cute thing because we put all of her toys in like a in a toy bin Like a little wicker basket Um, and this is how we like hide them
[00:07:25] You know because we just put them in there and never bring them out and then we have the ones that are out But then there's like the stash there's sometimes when she's in like a mood and we don't want to play with her because it's boring
[00:07:36] She will go into her toy bin and like pull something out. It's the cutest thing ever Oh, gimme gimme So yeah, uh the toy bin Put it i'm serious. Give it a try Okay
[00:07:50] The other thing is they they like also really like hanging out with the baby, which is fun Uh, like right now he We have we call it jail he has a play area with bars Uh, it's jail. It's I mean, yeah There's toys in there
[00:08:07] But like he'll be in there and the cats will be posting up outside like just hanging out like they will like anchor Where they are based on his location, which is very cute Uh, and they haven't been like reaching through to poke him or anything
[00:08:19] They just like hanging out like family time. Yeah that aspect of it's been very good. I just I have Negative complaints as far as cat baby interaction like roman came up to uh, ivan when I was
[00:08:36] feeding him in the bed and gave him a little nose boop and ivan did like a big like Smile and was like just overjoyed about it and that about made it all worth it Yeah
[00:08:49] At daycare they have a wall where uh, you bring pictures of your pets so the kids can see them and he's now Recognizing ariel and roman like that's not like he's excited about it when he sees him which is super cute. Yeah brain growth
[00:09:03] yeah, uh, but the the issue is in the meantime, I gotta figure out a enrichment activities for these cats I One of the earlier toys we bought and this was obviously very
[00:09:15] Pre-ivan was like one of those treat boxes that are like it's a puzzle and you they have to push knobs and stuff To get stuff. It was called the brain mover, which is such a good name. Oh my god, but they
[00:09:28] They didn't care and it wasn't like they didn't get it like they got it But they're like this isn't worth the effort this saw yeah, I do not want my brain to move. I am famously a cat My brains is still
[00:09:40] I do not use this shit because why would I We did buy a leash for roman because you had a success story with getting lucy on a leash on your roof deck So like yeah, we had a little bit of jealousy
[00:09:54] I think we're gonna try that ariel will not be interested but roman might be because he already goes on the balcony to Look at a leaf Um, that's actually I want to talk about that a little bit lucy. Yeah, we have a little leash for lucy
[00:10:07] Um, and we didn't really we were kind of nervous but taking her out onto our new roof tech because um last time we put The leash on lucy and took her out in our old old apartment
[00:10:18] She liked it so much. It ruined her brain. She got fucked up. Yes, so she would At all hours of the day be at the back door Howling as loud as possible and like
[00:10:32] There's we like at that point there's only two options you have as a cat owner number one is You got to take the cat out at like the same time every day forever
[00:10:43] And if you skip a day know that she will do this again. Okay, but that's like a dog Yeah, and I don't want to do that I would have gotten a dog if I wanted to do that and I don't And the other way to deal with this
[00:10:57] Is and this is what we did do and it works but it feels like driving a nail into your head which is You just do not react to the cat at all and after about two weeks their brain will forget why they're Yelling and so they'll just stop
[00:11:15] If you react ever it reset be like shut up. Yes They're like this works this works this works and it resets the two-week clock Uh, it's so we didn't want to do that shit again, but she really really wanted to go up on the roof and we're like
[00:11:31] Okay, so we put the little leash on her. She's so good about getting her leash on But here's the funny thing. She always wants to go up there She's always whenever we go on the roof deck. She's on the other side of the door like Can I go?
[00:11:47] When the time comes to like be like let's go lucy. Let's put on your leash It's we're giving you the thing you want joe. It's hilarious. She is so fucking scared
[00:11:59] She has no idea what to do. I'll put the leash on her. We'll go up. She's so excited I open the door and she just won't go she's just Frozen and sometimes i'll pick her up And i'll take her outside and it's like and usually her uh
[00:12:18] Tolerance or being picked up is super low Like i've worked very hard to build enough trust and love with her that she will let me pick her up for maybe about 10 seconds before she's like put me down put me down when uh, she's outside
[00:12:31] She clings to me like she like please don't put me down because like a hawk could get her Man, I wish there was a hawk around it wouldn't be so many fucking pigeons. Um Um
[00:12:45] I'm like i'm thinking about maybe I should take up falconry that would put an end to this bullshit Anyway, she's just terrified. It's so funny like she can't stand it and yet. She still wants to go out every time ah
[00:12:58] Cats man, they're cute as hell roman is on a like a steroid for his tummy because he We try to get pet insurance for him a while ago and it was so funny because it was like oh
[00:13:09] He's a uki tummy. Well, uh, he we're sending a hitman right now to take care of him Uh, but he he's on a little mouth dropper of a steroid which he's going to a specialist on wednesday
[00:13:22] We just had a call for an emergency refill because in the process of filling up the little syringe The top the stopper came out and I spilled it fucking everywhere And when we called they're like you shouldn't need a refill because you have like a 90 day supply
[00:13:37] It's like yeah, but like it doesn't matter how long the supply was if I fucking dropped it I'm sure that one that happened. You took it with good grace and did not think of it as a uh
[00:13:52] Symptom of a larger pattern. I just yelled fuck a bunch. What what happened is I just yelled fuck Yeah, I don't think yeah Man Is he cool with taking it because that really is like yeah a cat that'll take the medicine is wow
[00:14:11] Yeah, he's he's good. Uh, I think it's largely in part because Because the the medicine is supposed to be given with food Anyway, uh, I give it to him at like noonish when he takes his tube treat
[00:14:24] Is like a disgusting cat gogurt thing. Um the cat gogurt rules And I can I have been waiting for him to finish the gogurt before I blast him with the medicine But like he doesn't run away. He accepts it
[00:14:37] I've also like given him the medicine mid gogurt and he's like, ah fuck anyway back to the gogurt So it's clearly not a deal breaker, but he he's he's good. He's he's my special dude He's a little he's a little fellow
[00:14:52] He is little he needs to bulk up when we had to give lucy lucy hates taking medicine And uh, perhaps the worst i've ever felt in my life Is she had a ear she had like ear mites, you know the classic cat itchy ear
[00:15:08] Um, and they're like, ah, we've seen it's a billion jillion times You just gotta give her these drops twice a day for a week and then it'll be all better And so these drops say keep in refrigerator at all times exclamation points
[00:15:24] Uh, and so what this means is that Twice a day We have to become History's greatest villains. You have to become dead by daylight, uh villains and stalk lucy and drip ice water directly onto her brain and uh for those like two weeks and beyond
[00:15:49] She would see like it it honestly felt like my heart was getting torn out in me every time I would approach Either of us would approach She would react like again, like the devil was coming to take her soul to hell and
[00:16:06] Man, that was the worst. That was one of the worst times of my life I hated cutting the cat's nails not because of the potential for them scratching or whatever Uh, because winnie and I had to do it together. It's a two-person job sometimes, you know and
[00:16:21] The reason I was always like Kicking the can on it is just like they make the just like the you're killing me sound just like you're I'm forever scarred and it's like just bite me like please just rip off my finger Do not make that sound though
[00:16:40] Well, kitty cats, I love key cats Never been horny Never been horny Don't tell the paper that I ever got horny There's a joke we say every time almost every single time you record a podcast Almost every single time we have a guest
[00:17:05] If a microphone is involved basically Yeah, and we told this joke 70 times. I think it was the genesis of an incredible idea A concept a joke came up with that we're going to explore now Calling it a
[00:17:20] Best in slot joe if someone doesn't know what best in slot means. Can you let them know? Yeah, so this is still the case for all those gear grinding games, but uh best in slot I am referring to
[00:17:33] As the mmo term what that means is as you know mmos of of your They you get to max level and that's like actually when the game starts because now you're going to spend a hundred
[00:17:43] Thousand hours trying to get pants or something and that's that's what it's about But for people doing that end game stuff You could get a piece of equipment. That is just
[00:17:55] Where the game is there currently there is nothing else better that you could possibly equip in this slot meaning like best in slot This is the best shield. This is the best Uh greaves, whatever the greaves. I love greaves. Um, this is very fun
[00:18:12] This this this concept I know we're gonna get into like what we're talking about But just this concept as video gaming is so funny because like In these games like what again? What is the gameplay the gameplay is like I need to make my guy perfect
[00:18:27] And like and so like the the play space is like well you have all these options Make your build and it's like actually no, no, I have these pants Only like you have to build everything around these Uh, so we started talking about how like
[00:18:44] There are best in slot jokes and when it comes to a microphone being involved the best in slot joke by far is uh, the 30 rock joke where tracy jordan is uh developing a porno video game And it's doing a voice acting
[00:19:01] It's doing the voiceover recording session with jenna And she makes her do an incredible amount of ridiculous porno vocalizations For years basically, right? Yeah, it's a it's a long. I mean it's long for us network sitcom like they can't get too
[00:19:21] Like crazy. It's not like an adult swim show Where like smiling friends had them be in the airport discussing what they're gonna do about a hotel for 15 minutes Uh
[00:19:33] But like it's it's for a sitcom for especially for a snappy sitcom like 30 rock like this is a long scene And uh, what happens at the end show? Uh tracy says great this time. Let's record So that joke has actually probably stopped
[00:19:51] Content loss for us over the years for sure There's no way it hasn't because I think about it all the time. Uh, it is also just like the funniest fucking Yeah, great. All right Now let's record This time let's take it again this time. Let's record
[00:20:07] like legitimate that content loss thing is not a joke because this Episode when we were doing cat talk I had to stomp in the middle of one of my sentences and like check Audacity because my my eyes glanced over our list of best in slot jokes
[00:20:24] I read this time let's record and i'm like am I fucking did I press the button? Did I I did like And again, this is one of the things about having the best in slot jokes on hand
[00:20:38] This is why it's important that we tell them to you because you might be thinking are they really about to describe? A bunch of jokes to me for the next hour. Yes, but but here's the thing It's our equipment like it's we're showing you our gear
[00:20:52] Yes, yes and you can have it too because what does this mean it means that anytime we have a guest And we just finish up recording. What can we say the mood's great moods always great because we're so funny and friendly and everyone loves us
[00:21:05] How do we like end on a big hit and like the guest feels like it's special because like this isn't even on mic This is just for me. We hit him with the okay now this time. Let's record they love it every time
[00:21:17] Or they have a little heart attack Yes So this is like a reverse fruit tournament in the sense that we just tell you what it is And if there was deliberation, we just tell you like oh the runner-up was uh
[00:21:31] Blank or we we we we noodled on this for a bit. Um Case in point. Oh, sorry Before we move on and then we might cut this out if you don't remember Do you recall telling me about an instance? Where some podcast did an entire guest episode
[00:21:51] And they were like, all right, can you send me your track and the guest was like was I supposed to be recording? Oh god was that uh, is that ken clippenstein that might have oh wait. Yes
[00:22:02] No, I remember this it was ken clippenstein who was just like was that supposed to record but that was like the scariest tweet I ever read that That might as well have been the manson murders like it's so scary See this is why
[00:22:17] People who go guesto on our podcast are always commenting like wow You have such like a thorough and professional process Yeah, because we heard one joke a long time ago and it is forever It fucked us up
[00:22:31] It's like we don't want to assume that anyone knows that you're supposed to record like you had like Like do you know? That you're supposed to record like we do not say that Record like we do not start until they say yes, I do know God I mean
[00:22:50] It's overkill but like everyone if you ever start a podcast people are like well some things you gotta know And you're always gonna lose an episode every now and then Sometimes you just can't recover not if you remember the good joke though
[00:23:06] Not if you remember the good joke where one what? 393 there are no lost anime sickos episode. We are absolutely i'm gonna live forever right now you just really Really putting the blade up to our throat. I knocked on wood that makes it
[00:23:21] Not hubris, the tree spirits can't hear me They're too busy getting knocked on they find it sexually exciting Let me let me open up with the next one the next one this was one of the earlier ones
[00:23:36] For instance that this is a type of joke. It is not unique. There are many versions of this me saying this will no doubt whip up Certain things in your mind, but I had to think of the best one
[00:23:51] And the joke is like when someone falls for too long like obviously a rich vein Uh, so for us the best in slot Is hot rod? And the reason it's hot rod is because obviously falls for a very long time
[00:24:07] But it's also at the end of a montage. So the whole timing of everything feels very very confusing uh, it's just It's very whiplashy He of course briefly falls through a cactus Um, and then the the closest thing that came to that
[00:24:29] Is a kung-pao when he's a baby and they like roll him Uh, like for a very long time they're like, okay baby Goodbye, and then he's just rolling down a hill for a long time as an infant
[00:24:40] And then that woman is like oh cute baby. Yeah, and then she okay have a good one and she rolls keeps rolling them Pretty good for me. This is a you know, I don't know if it's as common a joke format as uh, You know falling too long
[00:24:58] But it's fairly common When you get into a situation about dinosaur violence when you need a dinosaur violence based joke This is something that I put in one of our very first newsletters because I saw this somewhere And I couldn't believe it
[00:25:15] I and like sometimes I go back and i'm like like man look at our old writing And I saw this And it was like again, it was like I was being born for the first time all over again I couldn't believe it. It was brand new to me
[00:25:30] dinosaur violence joke is a Picture a drawing from what looks to be a textbook like this is not a cartoon Realistic as far as we know, you know, no dinosaur drawing is realistic because we don't know they look like or real They're also not real
[00:25:47] and uh this dinosaur is one of them dinosaurs that has a Sort of big Spike on its limb Dude, this fucker's got thumbs and uh with one hand it grips another hapless dinosaur's neck and with the other it is driving this spike into the dinosaur
[00:26:10] And there is the text on the image Talk dumb get the thumb. It's a very human kind of violence I think that's what it is. Uh, the eyes have malice in them You can tell that this other dinosaur talked dumb And like this
[00:26:30] The aggressor is like obviously like legit pissed It's like You know, you know how people say like I could look at this for hours like oh I could look at this painting For hours and it's like no you couldn't
[00:26:45] These days with phones you'd be pulling your phone out after one minute Well, I can look at this on my phone so I can tell you I can just have like an exciting half hour
[00:26:58] Just looking at talk dumb get the thumb like running like rewinding the tape in my head of like Imagining the situation like let's go back to the beginning talk dumb get the thumb look these two dinosaurs What he's talking dumb? I love it. I can't
[00:27:15] I'm gonna pull it up right now. I'm looking at i've been looking at it What yeah put it in the chat Uh, you can just search talk dumb and you will get it
[00:27:25] Talk dumb get the thumb there's someone who has a song called talk dumb get the thumb that better be good One of the hits on this is just are funny and i'm a basic bitch
[00:27:34] I don't care that the stabbing thumb dinosaur appeared on our funny. I'm not better than that Yeah, I mean that's part of growing up, isn't it? No, oh my god
[00:27:47] All right, so what's the next best in slot joke give me one give me one, uh, this is just funniest wizard Okay, we're gonna give it to our boy orpheus or iam. Do you agree that orpheus is the funniest wizard?
[00:27:59] Dr. Orpheus respect on his name. He went to wizard medical school. Uh Doctor or I mean dr orpheus obviously is the funniest wizard And that's easy for him to get there because he's from venture bro
[00:28:14] Uh, like venture brother is one of the funniest shows of all fucking time almost everything from venture brothers Is the best in slot of that? Yeah, there's quite a few best in slots that we're probably not going to say because it's two venture bros heavy
[00:28:27] Like it's weighted. I okay So we had that sort of thought like oh our best in slot list is is It's a little lopsided because it weighs too heavily on simpson's 30 rock and venture brothers And it's like well, that's not our fault
[00:28:40] Like we we're not the ones who decided to put all the best jokes in the universe into those shows. That's true That's true Like that someone else did that speaking of venture brothers. Um This one you put down and I really have to agree with you and
[00:28:57] The best in slot for oh, I thought you said jokes which are kind of hacky. Yeah, it's like It's just it's it's such a cheap Can you get me a fish for dinner like I thought you said get me a dish for dinner
[00:29:10] It's like now we don't have anything to eat Like it's like really it's just a hacky shit. It is rhymes. It is rhyming uh, so That said the structure itself you're like in the negative right? Like you're already in the hole if uh, that's the structure
[00:29:25] Of the goof Unfortunately, i'm gonna give it to venture brothers again uh This is when uh, the venture brothers family is trapped in that room with the spikes that are gonna squish them and uh
[00:29:39] They're two mummy cult has them. Yeah, and then the mummy cult is like and now we're gonna Burn them with hot oil and the other one's like, uh Oil. Oh, I thought you said voil and he's like what's voil? Oh, it's like a sheer fabric
[00:29:54] I've heated some up in the dryer. Yeah I think that's what does it is because it's like continuing the logic like he really did want to like Do the task Like get me hot voil. Okay
[00:30:11] I mean it also it it's can it's continuing a running gag of the mummy cult Is doing mummy magic like they did Hatch the egg from which hatched raw and the perfect man came out
[00:30:26] But at the same time, they're all dumbasses, which is classic venture brothers. I love it Um If we could continue on the venture bros thing a character that is flawless and funny all the time shore leave
[00:30:43] Mainly because he's like such a good duo like he he plays well with everybody Yes, he's a unicorn in terms of generating duos because usually in venture brothers the duos are sort of uh bespoke and cannot
[00:30:57] Split and reform with other halves like that, but but he is he is the unicorn. He makes a duo with everybody I love shore leave. So what is the best shore leave joke? I really didn't have uh a suggestion tom
[00:31:12] Will put fourth one that I agree with but like off the top of my head I just had like I don't know he says boom yummy like everything he says is funny
[00:31:19] That's okay boom yummy, I think is his best line delivery because it was right after he was putting on It was when he was undercover as a christian Uh like youth leader uh Dude despite he had to have spy cover and
[00:31:37] There was something going on and he had to put on his bible armor and He has to activate all the parts he's like says what part of the armor is putting on breastplate of righteousness And the best one is he just boots up the gospel
[00:31:57] And then he boom yummy, uh Which the delivery on boots of the gospel and it's like boots of the gospel Uh incredible, uh doc hammer one of the guys of all time. Anyway, the point being best shore leaf line the
[00:32:15] Brock and shortly were doing a spy mission to stop a mad scientist named dr. Shump maker And he's like, I don't know what a shump is, but you can bet your sweet bippy his ancestors made him
[00:32:29] Uh, it's just a good line. Also, I love it because it's like not helpful like nothing's added So good so good god damn it Uh I will say that okay, we're talking about duos and us on the venture brothers
[00:32:47] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, who's who's the best in slot duo? With the criteria that it's us. Yeah who maps onto the sickos the best which venture brothers duo Uh has the most sicko dna tom and joe
[00:33:04] This one was very easy to me because it's billy quizboy and pete white They're dumb asses. They play video games They like tv shows They like what else do you need? Oh one of them is really too far in podcasting
[00:33:21] Like you you sent me through the underground ring And you feel obviously a sense of duty and responsibility forever Yeah Yeah, and there's a great pete white line where he's trying to impress Uh triana doctor orpheus's goth daughter
[00:33:40] Saying, you know, I was the first at my college radio station to play the bow house Which like the it's not the it's just bow house So fucking good Oh god, I love I love billy and p white also This is not on the list but just like
[00:33:59] The best in slot joke that is very clearly The writer of the joke just had a bug up their ass about a funny sound And backfilled the the setup
[00:34:14] Which is when for whatever reason billy and pete white got money like they they lucked out and some of their science got sold And they were like briefly rich And pete white buys a robot Version of bow duke from the dukes of hazard
[00:34:31] And he has him around and the only reason that's an entire scenario was written is so that they could say over and over robo bow Say it at home right now folks like robo bow robo bow That's starting with the end in mind
[00:34:52] It's like I need to say this sound best in slot to me. Okay, I got it. I'm going back to 30 rock This is where we started Again a hacky premise so you're starting negative
[00:35:02] So if it's positive if the joke ends up positive you can tell it was great because it had to overcome a big deficit Which is pronouncing a name wrong I'm on record saying that I think these jokes are really stupid. I hate it, especially
[00:35:17] This is so fucking common and so lazy if there's anything in the future Set in the future I should say And they reference someone from today In like a funny way, like can you like they don't know? Can you believe it? That's from I recognize that from now
[00:35:35] The lazy thing is to have them Mispronounce the name of the famous person Like ah, it seems that though these primitive people worship someone named kim kardashian it's like Now if they're still talking english in the future you would be able to pronounce kardashian on your first try
[00:35:54] You would um, there was this terrible. Oh my god. There's this terrible, uh play Independent play I don't want to get into it But there was some dumb shit and it was this exact thing people were people from the future
[00:36:08] Looking at cultural artifacts of now and it's like it seems there was this strange Uh priestess known as lady gaga And it's like no no you would still put the emphasis on the first syllable
[00:36:22] Like you would like I can tell because you're i've been listening to you two guys talking and language has not changed that much in the intervening thousand years that the Rules of where emphasis goes would change so you would you would read those letters and say lady gaga
[00:36:37] Like you would i'm sorry you fucking anyway, i'm getting off topic the best in slot Joke about saying a name wrong Is the therapist uh that nbc hires whenever there is someone who said something offensive and they have to
[00:36:51] Go to therapy to learn how to be more woke Liz looks at the therapist's name tag and says it's nice to see you. Mr venerslav And he says oh It's pronounced wiener slave
[00:37:06] Not only is it just a killer joke, but it also is a nice tie-in because uh, Liz is like a german nerd Yes, like there's tons of uh What cuts to her like traveling abroad and being? Just miserable
[00:37:22] Yeah, i'm oh my god. No, it's not miserable. This is also a best in slot joke, but I don't know what the joke is Um, he cuts her hurt like she she talks about having a wild time doing study abroad in germany
[00:37:32] And it cuts to her in a museum of stuffed birds And she says so many different types of sparrows she takes a big picture with a cartoon camera Mr wiener slave it's because like again, it's like the therapy it's like we all have to be very
[00:37:51] Respectful. We can't say slurs here and he's like no no no It's wiener slave. Love it Close second I will say also from 30 rock and this is the classic running joke of uh, Liz is an insufferable white liberal who tries to be progressive but is so deeply
[00:38:10] Reactionary, which is funny because that's uh tina fe in real life. Yeah She's at the post office She's probably friendly and charming and like cool to the black postal worker
[00:38:23] And she peers over the desk to look at this woman's name tag and it's like, uh, thanks for helping me trinnae And the woman So fucking annoyed just goes irene That's good shit, uh, okay, so we got best joke with the pope, uh, he's been
[00:38:52] Trying out some material lately, I guess itself. Uh, but we are talking in terms of TV and film whatever Yeah, so the the best joke Featuring the pope about the pope Etc, etc Is the state sketch where they are all very italian american and they say oh no
[00:39:15] The pope is coming over any moment for dinner to our restaurant as a restaurant to be clear Uh good thing we made all this big spaghetti. Oh, no, we gotta make sure our white clothes stay clean Oh, no, and they just
[00:39:29] They they just tom they just fucking spill spaghetti for like two minutes This was done like live in front of people which is funny and then When the pope shows up and he sees everything completely messed up. He says hey i'm a the pope It's okay
[00:39:50] And then everybody cheers so sometimes Physical comedy It pays to have someone who can sell that this is like happening for real Like I would say best in slot physical comedy as a baseline is mr show the story of everest
[00:40:09] Where this mountain climber comes home and is excited to tell his story of braving mount everest But every time he tries to tell the story he accidentally knocks these two shelves full of antique thimbles off of the wall
[00:40:23] And part of why that's so funny is that the actor who was at january 6th? Okay, cool you got to it you got to it He like you buy it like every time he accidentally trips slips and knocks over those two
[00:40:40] Uh shelf you feel for him. Like you think this is happening to him in like a biblical like God is testing this person away. Like he does seem like a victim of the cosmos Yes
[00:40:53] So there's that but I like how in this sketch they do the exact opposite which is like the first time that uh-oh I spilled the pasta sauce Is like oh you You just threw it at them as hard as you can like you just took the pot
[00:41:12] And instead of like putting a ladle of sauce on the spaghetti you just like threw the entire pot On to fucking michael showalter Uh, they keep bringing up that they're making a mess and they're wearing all white like they just it
[00:41:29] It's just looking at you as you you know, this is the Can you Take my son's getting over tragedy cake. Like I mean like it's exactly What it looks like and they're delivering it to you while smiling and it's wonderful So good
[00:41:46] So here's something that comes up a lot Uh a lot of times in fiction you need to reference other works But you don't want to make like a reference to another real show or a real thing because that distracts the viewer
[00:41:58] Are they going to be thinking about that? Why aren't I watching that instead? Oh god forbid the thing you're referencing is much much better and then that's gonna just make you look like a dope
[00:42:07] Yeah, so that's why you gotta make up some fake stuff. Uh, make up a fake movie make up a fake game That way the viewer gets the idea of oh, I know I get it We're talking about like another movie like that's close to something I recognize
[00:42:20] But it's it's far enough away that i'm not distracted. I get it the best fake thing in uh In in any media fake media in media It's gonna be jojo's bizarre adventure part three stardust crusaders super nintendo video game called oh That's a baseball
[00:42:46] Having the first word in your game title be oh with the comma is so sick Oh, that's a baseball and the stand was that guy was like, uh, my stand is really good at video games So I challenge you to video games. Was that it?
[00:43:02] It was under the effect of like If I beat you in a video game you turn into like a doll and then I put you in my dolly bin Uh, so you just have to beat him in video games
[00:43:14] It's oh it's whatever. That's a baseball. Oh, that's a baseball and it's it's so fucking funny because one It is a japanese voice actor Who does not know english? Being told you have to say this english line
[00:43:29] And you can tell that in the booth he's like is someone gonna give me a pronunciation guide Yeah, what's the emphasis here and they're like whatever you think doesn't matter If who cares it's oh actually you gotta hit the oh
[00:43:44] Man the the enunciation is incredible and also the emphasis where it just it really does sound like this announcer for this super nintendo video game Is like I i'm gonna look at this thing and it could be anything. Oh
[00:44:00] That's a baseball like yeah, it's less about sports and more about identifying Yeah, this is like you actually you know what um iven's first birthday i'm getting him. Oh, that's a baseball It's a video game where you look at various household items and you have to look
[00:44:17] You have to name what they are and this is helpful for brain formation You know, this is basic stuff that everyone needs to know. I was like shapes and colors. Oh, that's a triangle
[00:44:24] Oh, it's a baseball. I love it. Fuck. God damn it. This is all so stupid Look I will continue. I have a stupid thing that's always on my mind Uh, well first it's nen i'm always thinking about nen but specifically the best in slot like funniest nen ability
[00:44:44] But you better believe it's when you can manifest and switch places with an ape. That's just the best stuff uh the dodgeball sequence in Greed island is that what it is? I think yes uh
[00:44:58] It's such a cool ability. I don't like so what's cool is like yes your nen awakens in different ways But you do curate sort of like how it Takes shape. Yeah, like you have an innate category, but you determine the specifics of your
[00:45:16] Ability in that category through training and and will Yeah, he did that and that was the output which is so funny uh because sometimes you need to I'm in a lot of situations that I need to not be in furthermore where I was needs to be innate
[00:45:36] It's so fucking fun, okay, do you remember? In in jujutsu kaisen. There's this guy who's horny for asses And his power is that it's this it's that he can switch places with stuff and like that's kind of it makes for a fun
[00:45:51] You know battle because he's always changing Tactically where he is and like he does it by clapping he claps and poof He's like swat swapped places with something so you never know where he's at. He can dodge anything easily
[00:46:05] It takes a real genius brain to be like that ability What if we put a couple of apes in the mix? Like because you would want to summon a few apes like yeah
[00:46:16] It's like do you have to have apes around like no, no, no, you can bring your own ape You can just make it poof. You'd have an ape See, okay. Here's another thing that's really good about hunter x hunter
[00:46:27] Which is it and then is like the best power system in any Sort of shown it it's because there's enough structure where Like there's rules and things can get made and you're like, okay stuff is being made According to some sort of like guiding principle
[00:46:45] But there's also like enough wiggle room where you can get nutty with it and like you It's not like a pendantic like hard Sci-fi like actually thing because you just yes just if you don't know
[00:46:56] Which one it is guess what? It's a specialist because the specialist is the goofer one It's so good it's like it it gives the lower brained power scalers enough to work with because there are an
[00:47:08] Incredibly the sheer number of rules is so high that if you want to just like Get into the weeds and like think about like the implications of these rules made worse by the fact that in Universe, like if you limit your power intentionally
[00:47:26] That also makes you stronger. Like if you're like I will produce chains That do insane damage to these specific guys It's yeah like to 12 there are 12 guys in the world who I can make chains come out and they will kill them effortlessly
[00:47:45] But uh literally anyone else in the world if I even think about using those chains on them My head's gonna pop and i'll die. Yeah. Yeah, so it's rules and then you can limit further And that's perfect because it's it's it it prevents there from being like
[00:48:02] Perfect power scaling where someone can people try to do this with one piece But like well actually if you look at the feet so luffy can can solo anybody It's simply the facts and it's like I don't care. Uh, but like You can have
[00:48:17] Shit that breaks the curve with nen And it's like is this guy the strongest guy in the world like no because they only got that strong Because the stupid criteria to activate the power is so nonsense silly It's like Hilarious how hard it is to activate this criteria
[00:48:34] But like then if you do it like the fucking guy the the lion with fucking basketball shorts Who has an ipod works for pitchfork? He works for pitchfork and his his like thing is he has to save someone's life
[00:48:49] And they have to say to him I owe you one or some variation thereof And once he is owed one He is then at any time allowed to steal their nen ability for one hour
[00:49:03] After which the owing is cleared and they do not owe him one anymore. And like like you see how Lightning is just better There's just a lot less logistical spin up Like he has to be going out saving people's lives all the time
[00:49:18] Um, anyway, he's a bad guy for the record. He's the bad guy He's wearing basketball shirts. What was I talking about? Oh, I love how 100x100 has all this nonsense It is the best power system. It's great
[00:49:30] It's and it has all and it has cool abilities like apes that can swap places You make an ape and it's like i'd like to be where that ape is pooh pooh not a not apes where you were apes
[00:49:42] And yet the actual like structure of the stories and the plot in 100x100 is such that like you never Ever get to see any of this actually get used in any of the situations that you would like to see them get used in
[00:50:00] Case in point when do we see? the ape man Playing dodgeball for his life It's so fucking fun. Like It's so goddamn funny dodge, but you know You know actually you ever have that feeling playing a jrpg where you have like a cool spell or ability
[00:50:21] But you get that sinking feeling. It's like i'm like literally never gonna pick this Like either what like what are the chances there's going to be a scenario where this is the thing to pick And if I am in that scenario, I won't
[00:50:34] Realize that oh I should have I should use this crazy edge case spell. I'm just gonna use fucking Big fire boom boom like I always do And you've got that sinking feeling of like I got all this cool stuff at my disposal
[00:50:49] But it'll never have a chance to shine that's 100x100 all the time on purpose obviously, there's still a ton of net and stuff, but it does also feels like It's never letting it run wild because it's like it's just like
[00:51:03] It's just kind of there like it's not the main thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's like It feels lived in it feels real because like how often are you gonna have your specific power be the best in the world?
[00:51:15] Although I say that and I think a best-in-slot joke for Page turn in any sort it has to be in a graphic medium with sequential art The best in slot page turn joke
[00:51:28] Where there is a big wind up and you turn the page and there's a visual punch line Is when? In one piece. Yes, I know arc with the zappy man A guy who has the lightning fruit
[00:51:43] And he can turn into lightning and shoot lightning anywhere his entire life He has been essentially a god because he can just use lightning to delete anyone at any time someone bugs him they're getting hit by lightning and Like all one piece arcs
[00:51:59] There is some stupid fucking reason why luffy is not standing in front of the bad guy Because if he was he'd be punching him right he got off the bus at the wrong stop
[00:52:09] Luffy has been trying to stand in front of this guy for fucking ever for like a hundred chapters luffy is like Can I please stand in front of the lightning guy? The lightning guy again has never ever felt threatened in his entire life
[00:52:24] And finally luffy gets in front of the lightning guy the lightning guy hits luffy with lightning You may recall that luffy is a rubber man. What does rubber do when it gets hit by lightning? Fucking nothing you turn the page and there is a full spread
[00:52:42] Of this the goofiest face of utter terror On this badass Villains and it's just like I don't even need to see the end of the fight and it's so earned right like it's like here
[00:52:54] Like it's a very slow build up. You know, what's happening rubber lightning. Like it's not like a gotcha. It's And it really just hits perfect I love that uh best uh scene where people buy drugs
[00:53:12] Uh, you do not watch this one with me. Uh, this is I think in the second episode of stella But it's in stella in the first episode after they are kicked out of uh their apartment for not paying the rent they return as uh
[00:53:25] Business tycoons and before they do that plan. They were like hey Michael, do you still have that friend that sells fake mustaches gary meadows? Yeah, I don't see why that's important. Yeah, just trust me so in in uh
[00:53:41] Episode two they do it again, but they show them going to Uh gary meadows and it's a drug den. It's scary. It's so scary everyone's uh Sam rockwell is gary meadows. He's the scary drug dealer Uh, there's like like women like passed out with fake mustaches everywhere um
[00:54:03] And then there's Uh when they go to buy it he's like, okay follow me and they go to this drawer and they open the top drawer He's like turn around fucking turn around
[00:54:13] And then he and then you know, he gives them the three mustaches and they're like, thank you And of course the callback Uh, the last joke in the show is they're all hanging out again. The action has passed and he's like
[00:54:29] Gary that's a nice stash. You're sporting. Is that your own product? And he's like no, I don't use my own stuff This is homegrown and he's like bullshit and he rips it off his face and blood goes everywhere
[00:54:40] Uh, and then david wane says i've heard of a bloody mary but not a bloody gary and like as he's like bleeding it in pain And then it just ends God damn that no, that's good. Um
[00:54:54] Jesus christ and let's continue the same type of subject matter with basically the same people Uh best joke where people do drugs. Yeah, so that was like a joke about like acquiring it Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a doing drugs
[00:55:09] Uh, i'm gonna give it to wet hot american summer where all the camp counselors go into town for an hour And they all get hooked on heroin and like it's like this montage. It's like very intense and then they're leaving
[00:55:21] They're like, oh, it's great to get away just for an hour It's fucking perfect Uh, I mean it's such an easy joke. It's like the the city's I mean it's
[00:55:35] What if all the fox news people were right what if the city really is like a hell any place more than a thousand people Is this? Mm-hmm So fucking good I mean as long as we're talking about
[00:55:47] The wet hot american summer people the stellar people they're they're from the state which is a sketch show from the 90s What sketch show for the 90s talked about mr. Show? Uh, we we've transitioned to them now the best joke about white boy stuns
[00:56:04] Everyone by flawlessly rapping like I the best joke about someone rapping so well and no one can believe that They're rapping Wow is when the buddhist monks have to Beat the kids at the fat camp across the lake
[00:56:25] At various activities it's like a it's like a company picnic for campers. Yes, and It's all tied up and the last Event is freestyle rapping and the rich kids at the fat camp have hired a ringer
[00:56:43] An actual rapper and he's doing a real freestyle rap and the buddhist monks are devastated because how the hell are they ever? Going to stand up to this and they tell bob odenkirk one of the monks like no you believe in yourself
[00:56:57] You can do it. I really believe in you And he goes up He has the mic and he just goes rap rap rap a rippy rap a rippy rippy rap rap Ribbidy rap rap ribby ribbidy rap rap rap rap rap and
[00:57:12] Everyone is blown away. They can't handle it. Like he's so fucking good. The other rapper He looks devastated. He's like what did I even like what's my life for? His rhymes are so tight. I think it's the line he says Ribbidy rap rap rap rap Ah
[00:57:33] Mr. Show's thing if you know the show already like you this is known information But in case you're not familiar, they're really big on like transitions like they love to do really goofy transitions between sketches Making like weird connections. It's never like sketch ends
[00:57:49] Totally new sketch begins. There's always a connection of all the mr Show transitions. I think the best one is and is in this same episode which is when uh David cross becomes the dolly llama and then that scene sort of ends and the transition is just basically like
[00:58:07] As you know, we have to get ready for the The face off with the fat kids across the lake like and they just pull down like a projector and just start the plan Just flawless So goddamn good Uh, I mean as long as they're on mr show
[00:58:23] You wouldn't think that this slot really has a lot of room for Excellence when I tell you what type of joke this is the best in slot and you'll be like This is a people gonna make these jokes The funniest fake redneck name context being
[00:58:44] NASA has decided they're gonna blow up the moon and a country star uh In the style of toby keith back when he did that, uh, like i'll pull it on boat and your ass taliban We're gonna do war remember that song. Yeah, so it's it's your like
[00:59:03] Bone-headed like dumbass republican like he'll be the redneck Like shitty ass country like the real real dregs of the stuff and that song is of course about fuck you the moon We're gonna kill you the moon. We're gonna like the moon's fight. We hate the moon
[00:59:22] America will blow up the moon the name of This country music singer Is c.s. Lewis jr They were cooking they were simply cooking just again talk about like This this is the key to the lore being used. Well, it's when you drop something and just its presence
[00:59:49] suggests a rich world with long Histories and you don't need to sit down and tell everybody all the details of the history it just You the the fact that there is something behind it
[01:00:03] That you the listener the viewer can explore yourself is so rich and it's like, you know the uh mid-century author c.s. Lewis who loved christianity and being british like what if he had a Son named c.s. Lewis jr. That's doing this shit
[01:00:25] You know the line the witch and the wardrobe remember that well, okay. Well, he's c.s. Lewis jr That makes sense because like the dune guy had his son continue it It's true Everyone hates it. God damn
[01:00:40] Here's also a good one. This is the best in slot four and there's not really a lot of opportunities for this Uh, but you know Where you have it. This is the best one
[01:00:51] The best in slot four having three jokes that are used all the time even today that all came from the same sentence episode that matt graining publicly disavowed as being artistically hollow and uh a betrayal of the show as a whole i'm talking about
[01:01:10] the episode where jay sherman from the critic was on and The following jokes are all from that which again mark graining disavowed. He's like I refuse to put my name on this episode It's a travesty. Did he just hate the critic? He thought it was a shameless
[01:01:27] Advertisement, this was not art. This was not the show. I want to make this is a corporate mandated commercial How dare you make us do this and in that corporate mandated commercial we have uh-oh I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud uh, which again
[01:01:46] Everyone's like that's like a it's a part of our language. Yes Yes, the new york times says like trump said the quiet part loud Uh, I was saying boo urns Mm-hmm. It's like a non-joke in the sense that like it's just if
[01:02:01] If booing is happening you think it yeah Uh and get me his non-union mexican equivalent Which anytime you need a cheaper version of something Non-union mexican equivalent all from the same episode. Can you believe that what an episode that he didn't like
[01:02:21] Well, that motherfucker was on the abstain plane and uh, the people who were on it said his feet were weird And he was a foot guy. So Oh well, can we close out with just?
[01:02:34] A cultural gem that I showed you forever ago and I just I love any excuse to talk about Yes, you can because this is truly one of the most astonishing pieces of film that i've ever seen um
[01:02:49] When you showed it to me, I couldn't believe it was real So this is the best joke about ska You might think is this recent this best joke about ska that you have in mind Fucking no But not at all. Uh, so what we're about to play
[01:03:06] Is a clip from police squad which was a short tv series that then led to the naked gun series So the thing about this show is that it's like all fucking runners like it's great. Don't misunderstand me
[01:03:19] But one of the runners is that there is like a newsboy who has all the information ever like and Characters are always coming up to him being like johnny. Give me the scoop. Give me the scoop on whatever
[01:03:30] I mean this happens at least once if not twice an episode So we're just gonna play this fucking clip with dick clark johnny here Some kids on the show yesterday mentioned a new kind of music ska You know anything about it? How should I know?
[01:03:53] Nothing, but a modern offshoot of reggae Updated white rock influences definitely upbeat It'll never become really popular because even though they made the backbeat more conventional It's still too exotic for mass acceptance Johnny I need some more of that secret formula youth cream Thanks
[01:04:27] Dick clark is just absolutely lathering the cream on his head Okay, uh, yeah, it's That scene is one of my treasured baubles This is like I'm good. I'm i'm i'm watching smiling friends because I mean everyone's everyone's watching smiling friends lately and like
[01:04:50] I'm deep in the tank for smiling friends smiling friends is great and oh it's it's it I agree with what people say. It's like oh, it's it's a it's the new thing It's taking adult animation Uh comedy animation in a new direction that it was it's long overdue
[01:05:06] um Great writing. Oh, it's such as such a unique voice this scene with dick clark and johnny Could be from a smiling friends that comes out like this week Yeah, it's 30 plus years old. It's funny because 40 oh no Oh no, uh
[01:05:32] I mean he's right about ska like he's on them like that's the thing he fucking spit fire There is nothing untrue being said Uh, I don't disagree With his assessment about why it was never
[01:05:48] I would like to know how he felt about the nickelodeon era third wave ska when like every sort of bumper was Real big fish ask. I wonder if you would change his opinion. Well, I mean, let's think about they're not around now
[01:06:04] The wave crashed and who was the most successful ska band by in terms of pure numbers That's gonna be no doubt who immediately pivoted to Standard pop rock whenever they could and I mean to their benefit
[01:06:19] They may have sold a ton of records made a bunch of classic songs But it's not like you're gonna listen to don't speak and you're gonna be like skanking on the two and four
[01:06:27] There were so many no doubt songs on the rotation when I worked at coles. It was very strange anyway I hope you like this. I mean On one hand I do sort of understand the flaw in
[01:06:43] Uh podcast episode where we just describe other people's jokes to you and go wow what a good joke But at the same time like this is what our this is what our lives are about Like this is what's going on in our heads
[01:06:53] Like this is our life. This is our blood. This is what we get up in the morning for When we think about like what is life really all about because that's something that people think about anime cyclist podcast
[01:07:04] They're like you guys are like philosophizers. You guys really make me understand which we're not Make us understand You know this world that we're in better by like defining it a little more clearly in a way that like now that I know
[01:07:16] It's more of a failure of education than like us being good. Yeah, but if I mean yes, I agree with that but If you are one of those people if you had thought that thought well, but this is this is just more of that
[01:07:31] Watch police squad download it. I don't know Probably on tubi or some shit. I don't know. It's so funny that like It was like if you if you read about it, it's like it was cancelled
[01:07:45] Because at the time like tv watchers didn't get no one got this was like they like quotes Are so disheartening. It's just like oh, I didn't know there were jokes even though they made the beat more conventional It's still too exotic To get mainstream success
[01:08:03] I love it. I love it. I there's some people in the comments were like actually It's not an offshoot of reggae. It's an offshoot of uh calypso and it's like kill yourself. Fuck you Shut up do not besmirch the sacred text
[01:08:18] That's all the time we have for any musicos. I hope you liked that one. I sure had a lot of fun I don't know if you did we did I did I got to just think of uh, the best categories of stupid things
[01:08:31] You know what you get think of your own best of slot jokes and uh fucking post them and uh tag us This is like what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to like ask for an engagement
[01:08:41] It only took me like four years. I figured it out. Anyway, that's all the time. Bye. Bye I've been tom and anime sicko. I've been joe and anime sicko. Bye Thank you for listening to anime sickos i've been tom a sicko
[01:08:55] You can follow me on twitter at tom harrison 19 joe was also a sicko You can follow him on twitter at sharia uncle You can follow anime sickos on twitter at anime sickos or email us at anime sickos at gmail.com
[01:09:08] Please leave us a review or something. I don't know Tell a friend anyway until next time. Bye