Sitcom pilots tend to suck ass. They have to do boring exposition and the characters haven't settled into a rhythm yet. Well what if we told you there existed a perfect comedy pilot. There does: the pilot for the 2005 Comedy Central series Stella, an episode so good it could have come from season four.
[00:00:00] Anime Sickos I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko.
[00:06:40] I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, Anime Sicko. Ladies, gentlemen, the thing we present to you are scientific treatise on why the Stella Pilot is the best pilot ever made.
[00:07:57] I'll go on further, Joe. Not only is it the best pilot ever made, but it is the perfect pilot. Now you may say what's the difference? Well, the best pilot ever made you would probably surmise is still imperfect.
[00:08:14] Because pilots, especially if a comedy show, have a lot of challenges, a lot of problems that they have to overcome to get you to the funny zone. Basically it's fucked from the jump. You don't know who these people are.
[00:08:34] Are these strangers on my TV screen? Are they little men stuck in the box? Can I get them out? And that has to be addressed in the first episode. Every time.
[00:08:44] We believe strongly that all of the pitfalls of a comedy pilot specifically are expertly handled in the Stella Pilot and allow me to explain. You start a new show. People are trying to have rapport. A central problem there? Who the fuck are you?
[00:09:05] Yeah, it doesn't make... I don't know what rhythm the characters have because they've never done it before. It's like to go back to our patron, Miles Davis. Imagine a tight jazz quintet having played their 200th show. They're going to be great.
[00:09:29] Now imagine like five high school kids who have never played with another person before trying to improvise a song on the spot. It's going to be really bad because there's no context yet.
[00:09:41] How do I know this is true? Before we started recording, I was like, Tom, you know how I know the Stella Pilot's really good?
[00:09:50] It's because I told you that you should watch it. Conversely, I jokingly suggested watching the first episode of Parks and Rec and we both started puking. It's not even funny to joke about.
[00:10:04] I said that when you get sent to the hole in prison, if you did something really bad, they also play the episodes of Parks and Rec with Mark Brindanowitz where Leslie Knoep is incompetent buffoon before they retool. They are so fucking bad. Oh my god.
[00:10:24] If you're a dumb person and you watch a pilot, you might want war. We need to know who are these people. What happened to Sheldon to make him so young? These are the questions.
[00:10:37] Yeah. And if you are trying to establish that kind of exposition, especially in the timeframe of a fucking sitcom, half hour sitcom TV show, you're going to have to do it in the most brutally efficient way, which generally is so awkward and unpleasant to watch.
[00:10:55] It's just like, okay, I get it. Can we get to the fun part? And it's tough. Yeah. And also, I don't want to speak in absolute rules, but having context helps the comedy a little bit.
[00:11:07] And when a show is two minutes old in terms of total runtime, you don't have a lot of context. You don't have a lot of stuff to hang up goofs on. Stella fucking pisses all over these limitations. It goes super saiyan big time.
[00:11:23] It helps that the premise of Stella is Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and David Wayne are all in suits and they stand next to each other and they do gags.
[00:11:35] And they had been doing that on stage for apparently years before the show. So their groove was so locked in from the jump. Yes, it is immediately really good chemistry for obvious reasons. It's not even just that they were on the state together.
[00:11:53] They literally did this suit guys separately as a thing. So the thing I cannot stress enough about this pilot, as I would compare it to other comedy pilots, was fucking, the Seinfeld pilot is not good.
[00:12:11] And I'm not saying like I expect it to be good, but like that's another example of like, at best usually a comedy pilot can just like drag itself across the finish line.
[00:12:22] Yeah, like the 30 Rock pilot is like it's not bad. It's funny. It makes me want to watch the rest of 30 Rock, but like especially if you watch it again after like season three, season four, season five, you're just like, oh, this is quite not quite there.
[00:12:38] Shall we get started? I think though that the central aha moment I had as we were talking about this is that a lot of first episodes of comedy series is our Tony Hawk one.
[00:12:51] That's Stella is Tony Hawk two. And Tom, what is like the key difference between Tony Hawk two and Tony Hawk one Superman by Goldfinger? That's very true. Okay, yes, but it's also manually.
[00:13:06] Manually. Yeah, yeah, because that really changes everything because now if you're not familiar in the first Tony Hawk, you could chain tricks if you were grinding or on a half pipe.
[00:13:17] But once you stop or hit flat ground, it was over. Now you can do a skateboard wheelie and you can connect anything if you're good enough and you can get real nutty with it. The pace of the Stella pilot feels like one trick connected by 100 manuals. Yes, yes.
[00:13:36] And when you play a lot of Tony Hawk Pro Skater two, you go back to Tony Hawk Pro Skater one. It feels like where like why is my guy caveman? Why can't he move right?
[00:13:46] Like you go to slam up and down on the D pad every time your guys about to touch the ground as is muscle memory to you at this point.
[00:13:56] And like nothing happens and it feels not like oh, this this is just you know that they didn't put this mechanic into the game yet. It's like oh, the game's broken. Like you can't go back to not having manuals.
[00:14:11] The it's simply too smooth. And that's what the Stella stuff like here's case in point folks for my research for this thing that I'm doing. I'm giving my presentation to the ladies gentlemen and the thing of the Antarctic Research Station. By the way, the thing how's your sister?
[00:14:30] Oh, she's doing a lot better. I'm really happy to hear that as I was doing my research. I was going and writing down every single joke that is in the pilot.
[00:14:41] And you wouldn't think this would be that hard tedious maybe hard no but it is actually very, very difficult to tell when to stop describing all this shit as one joke and breaking into multiple jokes because it's a vector.
[00:14:56] It's just like a nonstop vector that waste no time. It does waste some time but that's the joke. It's very much Frankenstein waste moment of your time. It's knowingly wasting your time. It's fun. Very good. Should we just get it? Let's just fucking get into it.
[00:15:16] The opening scene we got the boys, we got Michael, Michael and David. It doesn't fucking matter. They're just three guys in suits.
[00:15:24] The one reoccurring thing is that David Wayne is like a sex magnet but like which is one of the funniest of the three to be a sex magnet. Anyway, they're arguing in a car Tom. What are they arguing about?
[00:15:42] They're arguing whether or not to listen to funk or funk rock and again a hilarious thing to argue about and then they add them to go and end the list.
[00:15:54] Next, next joke in the pilot after they're arguing about funk or funk rock they mentioned that they do it before bed every night. Yes. The person driving the car I don't remember which one it is. It's Michael and Black.
[00:16:08] It gets pissed says you know what I'm going to run this fucking car into a pole and then do it, do it, do it. And then he does. There's no consequences meaningfully like Michael and Black is a huge face wound that goes away quickly.
[00:16:24] But without there's the car crash noise and without the pace of the conversation dipping they're like getting out of the smoking car fine still talking about funk versus funk rock. The face wound is a hilarious site gag. Zero consequences right away. It's like okay I get it.
[00:16:44] I don't need any, I don't even need to hear these characters names. You eventually learned that oh it's just the actors. It's just Michael Michael. They're just guys. You don't need to know why they're in suits. You're like oh these are like three Bugs Bunnies.
[00:16:58] Like that's what they are. What if there was three of Bugs Bunny? It would be this.
[00:17:04] Incredible and as they're getting to where they are driving to, they're going into some building and again another great joke is that as they're walking in one of them says you know what you're doing? You're being presumptive. It's just the, it's so simple a dumb guys being smart.
[00:17:24] Dumb guys say it a smart thing always funny. They're continuing this argument though. They're continuing this argument about whether they should listen to funk or funk rock. So they walk into a squash place in full suits. They're playing squash. They're going to play squash.
[00:17:42] That's kind of weird that they're playing squash in full suits. They have their pads on over their suit pants and all that. It's funny. The conversation continues about whether they should listen to funk or funk rock. They actually aren't playing squash.
[00:17:54] They're just fucking nailing the ball at David. He's up against the wall with his hands on the wall looking back at them.
[00:18:04] The compromise they come up at their whipping balls at David as hard as they can is that tonight instead of listening to funk or funk rock which they can't, they're split on. They're going to listen to funk rock which you might think was the difference.
[00:18:16] Luckily we have a scene in the sauna where Michael and Black clarifies the difference between funk rock and funk rock. And of course they are again in full suits.
[00:18:26] They walk into the apartment funny and they walk over to their CD rack which has three shelves which are all empty except for one on each shelf. You got funk. Then you got funk rock with rock emphasize with like an underline.
[00:18:42] Then you have funk rock with funk underlined. The point I want to emphasize is that this happens again in seconds of show. One, you said they walk into their apartment funny. I want to hit this. This is the manual we're talking about. Absolutely.
[00:19:00] They just fucking walk in weird. It's not like Ministry of Silly Walks in the sense that look how I'm doing this goofy thing. It's just like there was a gap between these two points. So we walk stupid. It's fun. It's so good.
[00:19:18] Also the three CDs I cannot emphasize enough how much the covers that say funk rock and funk rock are just like the most home printer shit of all time. Yes.
[00:19:32] It's going on to Microsoft Word with the fucking Times New Roman and just hitting center 24 point right out the word print cut it out and put it in. So good.
[00:19:44] They throw the CD like a Frisbee to all three of them and then Michael show our third throws it into the CD tray perfectly and it closes by itself and perhaps the funniest bit of this entire opening because this is all preamble to the theme song and the intro to the show.
[00:20:02] The title card. My favorite bit of the entire beginning it's not funk rock. It's not at all. It's just like kind of cookie. I don't know. I don't know how I describe the theme but it's it's it's it manages the show. It is not funk rock at all.
[00:20:21] Oh gosh. So we get the title card says Stella. We got Michael in black Michael show Walter David Wayne. We're locked in. You know this is going to be the perfect pilot. So we continue on.
[00:20:33] We go back to the actual story and uh oh uh oh they're making too much noise. They're getting a clunk clunk clunk clunk classic sitcom thing where the people underneath bump the ceiling with a broom because you're too loud.
[00:20:46] And there's three girls that live underneath on the floor below them. One of them is Rashida Jones. Yes. And they are your guys are so loud. You guys are always so loud. Every night.
[00:21:00] No not shut up old me but Michael Eil and black immediately reacts like a fucking six year old and cause an old maid over and over.
[00:21:08] The girls say every night it's the same with you and they say no it's not no it's not and there's a flashback to the same thing happening.
[00:21:16] The exact same theme but the exact same theme but with a fucking like hazy flashback filter over it and the clothes are a little different. Yeah and it cuts back to them. See it was the same thing.
[00:21:30] And Michael Schoalter says no no no he said all made like all Lang sign. So I think they all I didn't write this down but I think they all are so taken by that that they all just start singing all Lang sign over the girls complaining.
[00:21:50] Yeah they get like wrapped up in coral work a lot later they get there's a part where they all start meowing because one of them starts it.
[00:22:02] So the girls threaten to call the landlord and they say do it old maid do it do it exactly the same kind of do it from when Michael Eil and black says I'm going to drive this car into a phone poll and they go do it do it.
[00:22:14] The phone rings. This is some of the phone rings. David Wayne walks over. He's like already crying. He's so scared immediately. He answers the phone it's not one of those ones where you can see both sides you just hear him talking say yeah Mr Mueller OK Mr Mueller.
[00:22:38] He does Mr. Mueller a million times. He hangs up the phone they say who was that it was Mr. Mueller. So fucking funny. Michael E. Black says he's such a Nazi and they're like not all Germans are Nazis like that's not my understanding.
[00:22:54] They decide we have to clean before the landlord gets there because he's going to come to the apartment so they have to clean up to make it presentable. To be clear their apartment looks like a showroom it's fine. It's well decorated there's lots of space.
[00:23:08] There's no aesthetic issue anyway. It's you know what it's like. It's like if you had some veteran TV set designers and carpenters and you said build me the standard. Yes like that's their apartment.
[00:23:23] So the way they clean up is that they fluff all the pillows a bunch in the apartment. The cream of the cream the cream of the crop the cream of the crop the cream of the crop is that Michael show all there's in the kitchen
[00:23:39] and then he opens one of the cabinets and takes out the pillow to fluff it and then puts it back. I should also I must I hate to be pedantic but I have to correct you they don't fluff all the pillows they each fluff one pillow.
[00:23:53] Yeah and anyway when they're done doing that they all get into a pose or one of them has a book one of them has an umbrella and one of them has a weird string instrument that it's unclear what it is kind of a mandolin.
[00:24:11] I don't know it's like definitely a medieval string instrument. It's ethnic for sure. Yeah and Mr. Mueller arrives but they can't they can't let him in because like they're stuck in a tableau. Yeah there's a door is locked and he says they can't move we're in a tableau.
[00:24:26] They say the key is under the rug.
[00:24:28] I said there's no rug this this this joke this fucking joke the first time I saw this was in former guest though M. Havarty's basement and it was this joke where I was like oh you can put this on like TV like I didn't you I didn't know you could get nutty with this so this this he says the key is under the mat there's
[00:24:50] no mat he's like oh what is it cleaner it's a cleaner here's the ticket he opens the door hands to you got to go get the rug see later Don and then Don goes to the cleaner there's a huge line it's very stressful he gets it he puts the mat down in front of the door
[00:25:12] and then he lifts up the corner and the keys there and then he opens it and walks in and then they're they're very sweaty because they've been in a tableau for a very long time.
[00:25:25] Yeah they cut from the from the Mr. Mueller getting the rug to them holding the tableau just what bullets look like they're in insane pain they're so unhappy but they have to keep their like smiles on because they had
[00:25:39] they're in the tableau as soon as he opens the door they say what a surprise and they like massage him they like man handle them they take his shoes off they like pick them up and lay him down.
[00:25:50] Yeah they aggressively try to spa him they pour tea tree oil all over his feet and socks it's wonderful for the immune system Don and like Michael so what's he's doing like a massage where he's just like taking his elbow and like straight killing him in the neck
[00:26:06] and then like after a couple of seconds of this extremely ridiculous painful massage we cut back to Michael Ian Black who had previously was just like rubbing huge handfuls of tea tree oils onto his socked feet.
[00:26:19] He's just pouring the whole bottle and says that good Don do you like that Don and then you see David shoving a big fucking bunch of burning sage in his face like they are just like absolutely attacking this man's treatment.
[00:26:33] Although there is certainly something to be said for the power of two guys talking to each other when you got three guys and you can like very jarringly cut between different stupid activities that's got juice. It does.
[00:26:49] That's got juice so one of them starts meowing I don't remember. Okay. Oh because it's perfect someone says perfect.
[00:26:56] The lights were too bright to be a spa but then they were too dim and then he gets it perfect and now that one is it perfect perfect and they all start purring and then Michael show us your meows and they all start meowing.
[00:27:11] And then he evicts them he's like enough of this effective immediately you guys are evicted Michael show Walter says I can see this discussion is going in circles. And then we cut to they are immediately outside with hobo hats and bendels.
[00:27:26] This is hilarious you've got if you have a Bindle episode one like Bindle are like season three stuff you have to work so hard to get that good.
[00:27:37] A Bindle is usually earned and to be clear it was earned here but they just ramped up the points very quickly. Yeah. So they find a can of old bean can of a single bean. Yeah there's all can be they won't be in it.
[00:27:54] They taking we cut it into three ridiculous portions and then they take out like a huge Shray of every type of condiment and have a little taste test.
[00:28:09] They find the girls on the street they're downstairs neighbors previously and Michael show Walter in an attempt to like own them. It's like still living in the same apartment and one of them goes what since yesterday and his face is again the same as fuck.
[00:28:27] They got me I'm owned it again this is the same joke is do it do it call him call him and then as soon as they call the landlord David is on the verge of tears. So funny every fucking time.
[00:28:41] They say hey we have these friends right and they are looking for a place to live right.
[00:28:49] We were just wondering like what those friends should do and then the girls mockingly say tell your friends to check the real estate section and then everybody laughs and then they get a newspaper. And they see a listing for an open apartment.
[00:29:05] They go and meet the broker for this luxury apartment. She's introduced herself as Libby David goes hi Libby I'm David.
[00:29:16] Amazing she is a little stunned she's like oh OK and then she just lists the amenities including a nursery which causes Mike Lee and black to say you know what a nursery would be great
[00:29:30] because show alters kind of a cry baby he responds I am not a cry baby then why are you about to cry they asked to go discuss this out on the terrace and literally the second Libby and David Wayne are alone.
[00:29:50] They start aggressively making out making out is so funny it is I think that's the other thing that Stella David Wayne especially like get to say like making out. is so fucking funny.
[00:30:01] The runner here with the making out is also like yes they make out but the thing that happens it's funny here and again later is like right before they like kiss the girl they close they're like what are we doing. I don't know.
[00:30:21] It's just it's all just so funny that like all David Wayne needs to do is not be next to those two guys and it's fucking time like it's time to fuck.
[00:30:32] What and as soon as they start making out the Baker Street that sack starts playing and we cut to Michael and Michael out on the terrace arguing the music is still going but it's just muffled and softer implying that like they're making out made it happen.
[00:30:51] And they're just sort of Michael show alters again trying to explain that like the joke wasn't funny Michael black is like I was just making a joke I wasn't serious I was just making a joke and eventually show Walter loses his temper he was it wasn't funny Michael and Michael black makes the.
[00:31:08] I cannot emphasize how good this reaction is this phase of like oh my god see crying.
[00:31:15] Say a word just like what are you trying to tell me I'm wrong cry baby cuts back to the inside of the condo and they stop making out and Libby's like I'll do anything to be with you I'll leave my kids I'll leave my husband I have to have you David and he goes.
[00:31:34] Shut up. It's so funny how his shut up is so much louder and sharper than I because they've been talking in like like this and you shut shut up shut up. Yeah he says you know want to tap that ass. But it's over.
[00:31:54] It's over and at which point she's like holding back tears as the other two come back in from the terrace and they're like yeah we'll take it.
[00:32:03] So then we cut to the next scene is they have to convince the co-op board to let them have the apartment and they have a prepared a presentation. An overhead projector. Much like the presentation from old school.
[00:32:19] Yeah that we're giving now to the Arctic scientists and Michael show Walter begins with dear co-op board and he looks at them and goes all black. And just the most deranged and like because they are all black. Like why would you say that it's just very weird.
[00:32:36] No judgment he's just noting oh you're all black. Did you see the words on their presentation it's like why you should let us live here and one of the reasons was the yucks. Maximum yucks it's one maximum yucks.
[00:32:50] There's one thing in the middle that you can't see one bullet point that is obscured but the ones you can't see are where cool guys and maximum yucks.
[00:32:59] At some point they turn around I think address something on the projector and they have skunk tails sticking out of the bag of their suits. The main guy of the counterboard reasonably asked like why are you guys dressed as skunks. No we're dressed as skunk people.
[00:33:21] Like this is so fucking fun like this is just nothing but like yeah but then see this is the other thing like they immediately panic and have a huddle about like I told you the skunk tails were a bad idea.
[00:33:32] No they love it they love the skunk tails.
[00:33:34] No how could anyone love them he hates them everyone hates them why did we wear skunk tails and then like both of the other two like roll their eyes like I know it was ridiculous even though they were just the ones arguing like the skunk tails are good.
[00:33:46] Again guys changing their minds extremely easily when they just were holding the most like hardcore opinion so fucking funny this is the core of the Austin Powers sketch we did which is Austin Powers sucks you guys need to understand we're from the future Austin Powers sucks you have to believe us.
[00:34:06] No it's good oh shit wait actually it's good like it's always funny this is like I say we're just listing every joke but like.
[00:34:16] I'm we're not talking about that manual shit we're basically just reading the script out because this is one combo this is dark side 5050 into nolly into all which is a boneless. So they get rejected. And is it because of the skunk tails.
[00:34:36] And the guy says oh no we love the skunk tails like one of the just fucking killer lines for a hug. Oh no we do the weird thing it was fine.
[00:34:46] It's keeping mind folks like there's been like maybe one minute of time elapsed since the skunk tails were revealed and we've had like five jokes about these.
[00:34:58] It's relentless you know you ever see it man how it man's like signature thing is he just like punches a guy in the sternum like 1000 times two seconds and just like.
[00:35:10] And the you know they do the martial arts sound design where the punches sound way harder than any punch ever would and it really really works when he's doing a thousand punches is just like.
[00:35:21] And you're just like oh my god it man that's this with the skunk tails fuck. They don't take well they do take no for an answer that they rejected but they say like OK well maybe this will convince you and they do a spectacular dance number.
[00:35:40] It's very sensual not like how should I say it's like sensual in like professional dancers dancing in a smoky room while people watch on.
[00:35:50] It's not pornographic but it is erotic at one point David Wayne is being a kitty and he does little he does kitty hands at the broker. And she is because she's there too and she is so fucking horny for him she can barely keep it together.
[00:36:09] The co-op board is all smoking at this point we cut to them watching and they're all smoking.
[00:36:15] Yes really good cinematography actually which is amazingly funny when paired with the very intentional choice they did because the people who were dancing are like not actually the guys like they actually got professional dancers do the dancing.
[00:36:30] But they do very intentionally like do a shitty freeze frame on the Michael Ian black replacement you can totally tell that's not fucking so good. Wait till we get a little bit further.
[00:36:42] Well they do so OK there are some moves that they have the characters do because they're not actually like they don't actually require much skill. They do like the thing where they perform a bull dance. Yes.
[00:36:54] Yeah like David is the is the ball they like mime flag and he's got that he wishes pie. And this is the best part fucking show alters the Matador who then kills David with a fucking air sword with a good twist wouldn't have both bite.
[00:37:16] At one point they point to the main co-op board guy who mouths like me like and he's so bashful like really you want me and they give a big dopey grin and like yeah and they pull him up and they dance they do a big dance party.
[00:37:32] He goes no. Guy the fucking co-op board guy is giving the most ridiculous responses to me and then no no he's so bashful.
[00:37:42] But yeah he joins the dance again he's perfect this is when we start getting like close up face shots on the dance doubles who do not look at all like the actual characters I think the only resemblance is the hair color is the same.
[00:37:58] And they're on screen for like a number of seconds and looking right at the camera it's so good. And they're like we've changed our mind you guys can have the apartment for the closing costs of three million dollars smash cut to them cutting another bean right. Yeah.
[00:38:17] Just instantly other being getting cut in three.
[00:38:20] And this again this is I think Joe's favorite joke as they're about to eat their third of the bean David looks up see something goes you guys look and they run off and what he said to look at is they have to run completely around the corner and there's a flyer.
[00:38:36] Yeah like he couldn't see it it's very much like immersion Sim guard heard something it's so funny. But anyway the flyers for a apartment for rent right around the corner it's their apartment.
[00:38:51] Howard they can't get that apartment they just got evicted there's no way Mr. Mueller would let them have that apartment.
[00:38:57] Wait a minute you still have that friend who makes fake mustaches what Gary Meadows I love that you're just like not just like yes he's like do you mean Gary Meadows. Yeah but I don't see what it has to do with.
[00:39:09] Yeah trust me trust me and we cut to commercial. Oh before we before the actual go to commercial all three of them look at the camera directly and David is making a sexy fuck face. No reason. It's so good. They enter their old apartment mustachioed.
[00:39:31] And announce that they are three business tycoons before you got the name jokes you're skipping over the jokes of them giving their fake names because they all have to do an attempt of saying a fake name. David Wayne goes my name is oh fuck damn it.
[00:39:51] Oh a name. He had not third of it and then Michael Ian Black does like I got this he's like my name is Michael Ian Black.
[00:40:02] Like you can see as he's saying Ian he's like oh no but can't stop that this is when Michael show Walter saves the day by saying we're just three business tycoons the landlord is like overjoyed that there are business.
[00:40:18] I'm sorry to sound of that these last guys didn't even have jobs. They laugh way too long at this as they're laughing Michael show Walter is wiggling his shoulders up and down insanely with every laugh.
[00:40:34] And then David Wayne ends by saying I haven't laughed this hard since my last business transaction and they laugh even harder. And then the girls from downstairs are like hey we heard there were business tycoons in here.
[00:40:47] They're so horny for the tycoons and they're going to rent the apartment he's like Mr. Mueller is like I've seen enough.
[00:40:54] Yay you guys can have the apartment so they all start doing ring around the Rosie because they're so excited about moving into this apartment both like the landlord the girls downstairs the three guys.
[00:41:07] There's other guys there are some random people in the ring on the Rosie that are never addressed. But as they're jumping around their mustaches their fake mustaches they fall off.
[00:41:18] And Mr. Mueller realizes that these guys are in fact the dead beats from before and it's so shocking he has a heart attack. And they're like call nine one. No there's no time for that. So they have butter knife and a straw stat.
[00:41:34] Someone says are you guys doctors. The girls say they're not doctors there are words 2011 2005 2005.
[00:41:44] Michael Leen Black says a like get it strapped in folks it's going to be a long night he rolls up his sleeves like about to do surgery and he briefly makes eye contact with the camera.
[00:41:55] It seems accidentally and then he sees the camera he like smiles and it's like oh hey not. They put they put Mr. Mueller's unconscious body on the table Mike Leen Black rips his shirt open way too sexually.
[00:42:09] So one thing I cannot stress enough is how like funny sexy stuff it like it's just just like doing one action in a sequence too sexually like this is so good.
[00:42:25] I mean you know what it's like it's how every time like a famous person's sex yet leaked everyone's like bro can't bros not cooking bro was on to nothing.
[00:42:37] Oh my God straight white boys can't sexed and it's just like well there's really like out of context there's no good sex they're all corny like it's like it is impossible.
[00:42:49] You need to be in the context of like horniness began and like we are like we're turning the crank of horny till I got cranked turning the crank of horniness and like in that context this makes some sense but out of context it's ridiculous.
[00:43:04] And that's what they're like might like ripping a shirt open that sexually like if you are going to fuck makes total sense if it is your unconscious.
[00:43:15] They're about to cut them open with a butter knife and the the gore is funny I don't know how like it's so clearly like a prosthetic but there's also a ton of blood.
[00:43:26] Well actually so before we have the blood there's a quick gag another manual of Michael Leen Black trying to put on his surgical gloves and just can't do it right and it just he just sort of gives up and I close his hand up with his fingers not in the right place.
[00:43:40] And it's you know what it is it's fucking Evil Dead 2 where it's a horror comedy and like well what makes a horror comedy a horror comedy not a horror it's like well using too much blood using blood makes it a horror using too much blood makes it a horror comedy.
[00:43:56] Yeah, and that's when they like put the butter knife on like the fake rubber torso just like gallons of blood starting oozing out instantly. Yeah, as soon as the butter knife touches the skin.
[00:44:12] It's like a basically a geyser they hold the chest open like the halves of it that have been carved back and they keep it open with chip clips. They're just like like messing around in there.
[00:44:26] They have a ladle on a turkey baster and they're just kind of like ladling up blood pouring it again and like basting his heart. There's like no strategy really. They're just pulling out random pieces of meat and as they're doing this operation.
[00:44:40] They take out his like rib right? Like his whole rib cage. One of them one of the Michael says did he have any family anyone we can get in contact with and the other goes no he had no one.
[00:44:51] Such a tragedy when you're all alone in the world and that's when David who has been watching them do the sort of like assisting the surgery has a thought.
[00:45:02] He remembers early in the episode where Libby said the Libby the broker for the luxury apartment said I love you and he went shut up and they make sure to include the shut up.
[00:45:12] And he's overcome and he runs out of the apartment and as he's running they pull out his entire rib cage from the cavity. He leaves the apartment cover his hands are covered in blood.
[00:45:24] Like he opens the door and then slams into another door and then runs the other direction down the hallway. He runs outside is raining heavily and he runs to another apartment building. You assume Libby's apartment building.
[00:45:39] He goes inside and we're in Libby's apartment and there's a doorbell rings. She goes to answer the door. I didn't even notice this you doubted you actually doubted me. So what did I doubt?
[00:45:53] So you know like romantic scenes the person being outside getting rained on is a common trope. David Wayne is getting rained on in this but like this interior hallway. Like it's like a condo building hallway that's raining inside. It's inside.
[00:46:13] So I did not know that notice this many times I've seen this many times. I think it wasn't until like the fifth time I watched it I noticed that and when I told you you were like no you're thinking of something else. Like you were literally wrong.
[00:46:23] I thought Joe was wrong. Like there's no no because like he runs out of the hallway and he's on the street and then he goes to the door so that you know it's it's that he's outside because he's at the door.
[00:46:37] No I watched light fixtures getting rained on. He you see him go into another condo building and he's yes there are fucking sconces getting rained on heavy rain. It's so fucking funny.
[00:46:51] Olivia answers the door and says David what are you doing and he goes baby just shut up shut up for one second. Again she has said five words.
[00:47:05] So good after he confesses his love for is just like you know what I gotta have you like I just I went through some crazy stuff yada yada. Her husband calls like hey who's at the door. Man I love this joke.
[00:47:23] Libby is like oh do you know my husband Edward Norton and it's him it's not a lookalike it's really Edward Norton.
[00:47:31] They're all friends them and Sam Rockwell it's so stupid but anyway do you know my husband Edward Norton and David Wayne very polite response which is not personally but I'm a fan.
[00:47:46] Hey man you look pretty wet why don't you dry off and he starts taking off his shirt. You use my shirt to dry off and you can see his abs.
[00:47:54] So good David's like sorry I have to open heart surgery performed and he runs away and as he's leaving Edward Norton goes I so admire that.
[00:48:02] Yeah he comes back they got dumber I guess because they have like flashlights tied to their head as they continue to just take apart this guy. At this point they have tongs in their hands and they're just wiggling the tongs back and forth in the guy.
[00:48:24] David Wayne sprints in and immediately just shoves his hands in the chest and they're like hey he plunges. Eventually they complete their procedure and they tie him up with yarn and he cut to the morning.
[00:48:40] Everyone else who is at the showing like the girls from downstairs and the random other people have been in the other room just sort of like waiting.
[00:48:49] And in the morning David and Michael Schoelalter go in to see them all in scrubs now they weren't wearing scrubs before when they were doing the surgery they're only in scrubs now.
[00:48:58] They say it was real touch and go there for a while but we think he's going to make it. And everyone's so fucking happy. The hugging. And then immediately Michael Lee and Black comes in. Guys we lost him. He's dead.
[00:49:13] Everyone leaves miserable and then some random fucking guy. Way to kill the landlord is a good line. How did I not write that down? Jesus Christ like I took it was so fucking hard to write down every joke in the Stella Pond.
[00:49:28] I was a pilot and I still miss some. Luckily Joe has an encyclopedia knowledge of this shit and all the lines in Chrono Trigger and what level you learn water too at.
[00:49:42] Anyway they feel miserable for killing the landlord and some random guy comes in and says that man was no landlord. He was known as Dr. Joseph Mengele. Mengele. Your botched surgery was an ironic and just end. He's like a Holocaust like he's from the ADL.
[00:50:02] He said he's like we would like to as a thank you for your service. Killing Dr. Joseph Mengele to be clear. We're going to pay three months of your rent and then here is a toaster. We got a wicker hamper from Pier One and some fleece pullovers.
[00:50:19] And he's like anyway they would get one to be clear. They love it every time they're so jazzed. They're like wow.
[00:50:29] And then as soon as he gives them all the gifts he just immediately leaves and they all three look over at the landlord's corpse and goes that is too funny. Anyway we then cut to their driving again.
[00:50:42] They're going to go celebrate having a new apartment by going boogie boarding. Showalter says I don't want to go boogie boarding. Mike Lee and Black said you don't stop arguing. I'm going to drive this truck off a cliff. Can you guess what they both say to him?
[00:50:56] Do it do it they fucking do. They all climb up the cliff smoking like mooney tunes. They just have smoke coming off of them. Showalter says I don't like boogie boarding because the waves are too choppy. David Wade says I like the choppy waves and roll credits.
[00:51:13] No fat. Like obviously I was like talking through it was like fucking longer than the show which speaks to the speed and vector of the pilot. It's very good.
[00:51:26] It's I mean the going I think there's no better metaphor than this is like you're watching a YouTube clip of expert level Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 gameplay where like the combo just gets to like times one thousand because they've done a thousand tricks without stopping.
[00:51:44] And just like you almost cry to see it because like it's perfect like it's perfect. You know yeah I was one of those things that makes me jealous.
[00:51:54] Sometimes I see an episode of something or I watch something and even beyond just liking it I will have like an envy and it's envy sounds like I'm like an artist. It's like making everything.
[00:52:08] It's not it's just like I just get envious that like someone got to make that and I would have liked to like had a taste of that. You know that's really I'm jealous. Damn it.
[00:52:21] I would have liked to be in the writer's room even if even if all the suggestions I made were immediately shot down and I got not a single word in the script but just like to have seen it.
[00:52:31] That's the other thing is that this is the perfect pilot. It is so fucking funny. It immediately introduces these three characters. Their rhythm is so perfect. The voice is so clear and so unique. It is constantly making the most funniest jokes and like what what came of it.
[00:52:53] There was a 10 episode season and then it got fucking canceled because like nobody watched it. I only watched it.
[00:52:59] I watched it as it came out because I got a DVD in the mail from POMD central that had the Stella pilot on it which they knew you were like what you are and they mailed you. Oh my God. How did I get that fucking thing?
[00:53:20] Did they just like again? What? How did they know how did they know? Did anyone else get this with this just me? No, I heard that like people got the fucking DVD. Maybe it came if you got something else from Caledonia Central.
[00:53:32] I think when I watched it with M it was that that disc. It's so fucked up that like well there's two things that are fucked up is that Michael Ian Black fell off because he's so good. No, he got he was raptured immediately after this ended and.
[00:53:51] There's another guy who looks just like him. Yeah, and he's weird. He's different. It's fine. Yeah, he loves Hillary. No, the important thing maybe this is what you're about to say is that they were younger than we are now when they know.
[00:54:06] No, no, no, no, no, that's not true. Wait really? No. Wait, okay. I'm doing some math. I'm looking some things up. Okay. Michael Ian Black was during the year that the Stella pilot was released. He was 34 years old. So I'm I'm a little. I'm a dead man.
[00:54:25] I'm a dead man, dude. I'm really dead, but I'm not quite there. David Wayne. How old was he? Oh man, be old man. Okay, he's older. Oh thank God. Yeah. Okay. So in 2005 he was he was 36. Okay. Okay. Michael show Walter you better be an old fucking bitch.
[00:54:42] You better be crusty as a crusty as anything. Okay. Okay. He was 35. Okay. I got like two years to make Stella and then I won't feel bad. I guess like the issue with making Stella is that like those guys have been doing it longer.
[00:54:58] They're just like a little better, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think we're like 99% of the way there. How is this not the most fucking how was this not a huge hit? I just don't get it. It's really funny. Who couldn't like this? It's really just Looney Tunes.
[00:55:17] I was thinking about this before we started talking, which is like the world, I say world, but like it's shot very realistically. But it's like these three guys have the aura like the Looney Tunes, the Bugs Bunny aura. Yes. That changes the gravity of stuff around them.
[00:55:34] But like things are otherwise normal. And that's just like a very rich vein. Yes. Like people say 30 Rock is a live action cartoon because it is goofy and because it is very broad and silly. And they're right to do that because 30 Rock's great. We love it, obviously.
[00:55:58] But like Stella really is a live action cartoon for the reasons you say like what is what is the thing about Bugs Bunny? What is like the thing he does? The thing he does is that what he wills to be is if he decides that that you're
[00:56:15] gonna like stick up your shotgun in the hole and it's going to bend around and shoot you in the butt, it's gonna happen even though it doesn't make any sense. And it won't happen the next time because that because the joke has already been made.
[00:56:27] Not that I like play 40k or care about it, but like the orc technology thing is the same idea where it's like we all believe we're all latently psychic. So if enough of us get together and we believe that like this is a good ship
[00:56:43] that does go, it'll work. Right, like the rules of physics outside of that ship are still real. It's the goofiness is because of the guys. That's the only thing I know about Warhammer is that the orcs are soccer hooligans who are their, yeah they just manifest.
[00:57:05] They use the power of positive thinking to make their shit work even though they don't know about basic engineering. They're fun to look at because they're like the fucked contraption faction. The guns are all goofy, the machines are all half-ass.
[00:57:23] Like it's fun. I like to see that rather than like a very sleek robot. You know what it is? It's the type of truly trenchant satire that can only come from aiming the gun directly at your own face because it's just England.
[00:57:40] Like the orcs are just the British. Absolutely. Oh my god. So to everyone here gathered who's heard our research, I think the thing that we're trying to say is that this is the perfect pilot. All the other episodes are good but like this was the first one
[00:58:02] and it's perfect as good as the others. Like if I wanted to show like a reason why this show is good, the fact the pilot is in the running for one episode to show a person is a big deal. Yo you know what? You know what?
[00:58:19] I think this is gonna really say a lot. If you told someone that Stella had three seasons on Comedy Central and this is the season premiere of season three, would they doubt you? That's a good way to put it.
[00:58:38] That's a very good way to put it because there's an immediate chemistry. They got the flow. They're schmoving immediately for sure. Like this is the first time that the downstairs neighbors, the girls show up.
[00:58:52] They show up in every episode but like and so technically this is the introduction and there is some exposition getting done explaining like what is their deal? What is their dynamic like with the guys?
[00:59:03] But it is done so seamlessly and so quickly that it's like how you can watch Seinfeld and not see the episode where they said Jerry and Elaine used to date but now they're just friends and you just eventually know that. Yeah, you absorb that.
[00:59:21] It's like they don't, all the dynamics and all the relationships are just like, they don't say it you just kind of know because like well obviously I'm looking at it. It's so good. There's a shock and effect to it too because like it's relying on like look,
[00:59:37] noisy upstairs neighbor we're gonna call the landlord like this is like sitcom territory which is not criticism this is like you have this sort of expected tension that we've seen on TV before and now you're gonna fucking just crank up the dump. It's so dumb my god.
[00:59:56] I really like when he did, you got to watch when Michael and Michael go onto the terrace and David and this real estate agent start making out because like it sounds absurd and you just lay out the facts like that but when you like see the performance
[01:00:19] it's like so natural. It's like as soon as they're alone it's like well obviously like oh god how do they do it? I think we gotta, I gotta call it, we gotta wrap it up. Yeah, yeah Joe's getting a, Joe has to take care of his son
[01:00:36] which is really difficult now that he's in Antarctica stuck here but he's a good father so he still does it anyway. I hope everyone took our research to heart and their findings past peer review by which I mean you too should watch the Stella Pilots.
[01:00:49] It's on like if you look up Stella Pilots you can find it online. It's not like it made any money ever or could make money now so you can just get it. My next move is to get time to watch Children's Hospital which I have watched Children's Hospital.
[01:01:06] You didn't know that it's in Brazil, okay? I didn't. Well okay fuck you, you need to watch Severance. I've been trying to get you to watch Severance. At this point I kind of don't want you to watch Severance because it makes the joke funnier
[01:01:19] of you not watching Severance even though it is the show about the anime. Like it is the anime sickos show. All of the things we've talked about on our show are in that and it's great. Anyway whatever. Bye bye end of episode we done. Bye bye. See you.
[01:01:38] Thank you for listening to Anime Sickos. I've been Tom, a sicko. You can follow me on Twitter at TomHarrison19. Joe was also a sicko. You can follow him on Twitter at ShariaUncle. You can follow Anime Sickos on Twitter at anime sickos
[01:01:52] or email us at anime sickos at gmail.com. Please leave us a review or something. I don't know. Tell a friend. Anyway until next time bye.