202: The Sickos Go To Gay Paris

[00:00:28] Hello everybody, we're back. We didn't stop doing the show. This is Anime Sickos, the podcast for geniuses.

[00:00:36] Yeah, we were busy working. Oh shit, no we were.

[00:00:38] Shut up! Only podcast. We'll be talking about anime, gaming, posting, and jobs. Four pillars of modern misery that we are actively all doing all of. You know how it is. I'm Tom, an Anime Sicko.

[00:00:55] I'm Joe, an Anime Sicko. We have some new people to thank for giving us money, which more than ever we really appreciate for reasons that we'll talk about.

[00:01:07] Be clear. Yeah. First is going to be Tora Lee Hart. Tora, thank you for giving us $5.

[00:01:14] Thank you, thank you. Love it. Next up is Will. Good name. Yeah. There's no joke to be made. That's like a normal name.

[00:01:25] We've talked at length about the Rain Raven. Well, the Rain Raven's back. They had to stop. They back now. Thank you, the Rain Raven.

[00:01:34] Thank you for taking a gamble on us again.

[00:01:37] Yes, and thank you for inducting us into your, I believe there is some sort of wizard order.

[00:01:44] It's a cult or something.

[00:01:45] Yeah, well, we're in it. Thank you. And then finally, again, this is not a joke. This is just a guy's name. This is going to be named Gray.

[00:01:53] Hey, Gray. Thanks.

[00:01:55] Thanks. That's a color too. I don't know if you know this.

[00:01:58] I mean, there's a lot of strange stuff out there. We'll never know.

[00:02:03] I have a piece of affection, I guess, for an XCOM when they call the aliens Greys. I think that's fun.

[00:02:10] Yeah, but you kill those guys. We don't kill Gray because he gave us $5.

[00:02:14] Correct.

[00:02:15] Yeah, no, we would never take it.

[00:02:18] I would never uncover Gray in the fog of war and attack them.

[00:02:21] Exactly.

[00:02:21] Thank you for the money. Speaking of money, if you want to give us money, I mean, you can go to Patreon and you'll get, honestly, really nothing.

[00:02:30] Do you need some speakers? Like, we got some speakers.

[00:02:35] I got a monitor. Do you want to buy a monitor from me?

[00:02:39] We have such deals for people who aren't going to be a bitch who asks questions.

[00:02:46] But, no, there's another reason. There's another way you can give us money.

[00:02:52] And the reason would be we are debuting on the Anime Sickos store, which has been around the whole time.

[00:02:59] It's at AnimeSickos.com slash store. That's AnimeSickos.com slash store.

[00:03:04] One more time, the Anime Sickos store is at AnimeSickos.com slash store.

[00:03:09] Well, on AnimeSickos.com slash store, we are now offering for purchase on the Anime Sickos store, which is AnimeSickos.com slash store.

[00:03:44] And the Anime Sickos store is at AnimeSickos.com slash store.

[00:03:45] And I just got to say that this shirt looks great.

[00:03:50] Joe, I've shared the art with you. You've seen it before, but now you see it in front of you.

[00:03:54] Can you describe how good this is to the class?

[00:03:57] Yes. It's a visual representation of the four pillars.

[00:04:03] And they are represented thusly.

[00:04:06] Anime is represented by a skeleton with an anime sweat drop.

[00:04:10] No anime eyes. I love it.

[00:04:14] Posting is represented by a computer that's exploding and it has eyes as well.

[00:04:19] It looks like it's in a lot of pain, which is very true if you've ever been posting.

[00:04:24] That's how you feel.

[00:04:25] Yeah, really, it should be dead. It's upsetting it's alive.

[00:04:28] But in the third one for gaming is a Super Nintendo controller.

[00:04:35] And then the face buttons are eyes, which are sad.

[00:04:38] And it is crying slash sweating.

[00:04:40] It is in distress, Tom.

[00:04:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:04:42] And then we got cogs.

[00:04:44] So these are Pokemon, right?

[00:04:47] Yeah, I think so.

[00:04:47] These are two shitty Pokemon.

[00:04:49] No, it's two cogs.

[00:04:50] I love Pokemons that are just the boys, that are just like a friend group.

[00:04:53] Oh, I got it. These guys are keys.

[00:04:57] One.

[00:04:58] And cogs' toil of job is represented by two crying cogs who they hate that they have to touch each other all the time.

[00:05:11] Yeah, that's about right.

[00:05:13] I think that really looking at this image is exactly the same.

[00:05:18] You get the same experience as having listened to 201 episodes of Anime Sickos Podcast.

[00:05:23] It really gets the entire thing across.

[00:05:25] It looks gorgeous.

[00:05:26] It's going to be on a beautiful gray shirt with it's got these beautiful pinkish highlights, which is great both because visually it looks it's a good piece of art.

[00:05:38] And also, it's got one color.

[00:05:41] So it's a lot cheaper to print because it doesn't have a lot of colors.

[00:05:46] It's great.

[00:05:47] Honestly, folks, this shit looks great.

[00:05:49] You can fucking order it now.

[00:05:50] And you better order it now because it's only we're only having be purchasable for one month starting from today.

[00:05:57] Unless you're listening to this early on Patreon, then wait till it comes out for real.

[00:06:02] And then the month begins.

[00:06:04] And the reason we're doing that is because then we can only make the amount that is required and we don't end up with a big fucking room full of these shirts that no one bought.

[00:06:14] But you will buy it because it looks great and you will be cool to wear this.

[00:06:18] It's actually fun and good to wear this.

[00:06:21] If you don't know what the show is, it's a shirt that has a bunch of cool freaky shit to gawk at.

[00:06:28] It seems like a slam dunk regardless of your familiarity with us, which frankly should be high.

[00:06:35] Everyone should know about us and give us money.

[00:06:38] This is true.

[00:06:39] This is so right.

[00:06:40] Yeah, you can go buy it.

[00:06:41] Where can they buy it?

[00:06:42] I don't think I mentioned it.

[00:06:44] They can go on their dang old computer machine and do H-T-T-P colon slash slash www.animesickos.com slash store.

[00:06:59] That's quite right.

[00:07:00] And you better do it.

[00:07:02] Anyway, that's all the shilling we have.

[00:07:05] Now that we can start the fucking show.

[00:07:07] Jesus Christ.

[00:07:08] We're such shills.

[00:07:09] All right.

[00:07:11] So like last year, I guess last time, Tom went to Spain.

[00:07:19] And last time he came back and he was always saying shit like, Spain is an idea and a geographical place and a climate will last forever.

[00:07:28] Specifically the south of Spain.

[00:07:30] Furthermore, I will never be laid off.

[00:07:32] Computer jobs are forever.

[00:07:33] Yeah.

[00:07:35] And you were telling me because you did just get back from Spain as well as gay Paris before it.

[00:07:43] Yeah, I was in gay Paris.

[00:07:46] You may have flip-flopped on your previous belief.

[00:07:50] Yeah.

[00:07:51] I think most pressingly is they fucking fired me from job.

[00:07:56] Um, that was a real-

[00:08:00] I feel like it is worth splitting hair.

[00:08:03] It's not like you weren't covered in turds and they're like, you gotta go.

[00:08:06] Like they were-

[00:08:06] Well, the reason I say that is because it seems like I was the only one it happened to that day.

[00:08:15] Uh, but I'm not allowed to disparage the company because I had to sign an NDA to get my severance that said I would not disparage the company.

[00:08:23] So I won't.

[00:08:24] What I will say is, uh, they did it right before my trip, which they knew I was taking and had given me, uh, approved my PTO.

[00:08:33] And, uh, all I'm saying is I don't think they're gonna hire someone new to fill my position.

[00:08:41] If you know what I mean, do you get what, you get what I mean by that?

[00:08:44] Um, and yeah, they have no legal obligation to tell me why they fired me or let me go or laid me off or whatever it fucking was.

[00:08:53] I looked it up and yeah, in Illinois, they can just do it.

[00:08:55] And if you say, why did you make me not work here no more, sir?

[00:08:59] They can just say, I'll never tell you.

[00:09:03] Which they did.

[00:09:04] Um, oh well.

[00:09:07] What?

[00:09:09] Uh, uh, um, uh, hmm.

[00:09:11] Well, I got a wife who makes money, not a doctor wife.

[00:09:16] So I'm not quite as, uh, set as you.

[00:09:19] But then again, I don't have a baby.

[00:09:21] That's a lot of expenditure.

[00:09:23] So maybe they eat a lot.

[00:09:24] It's crazy.

[00:09:25] He eats like twice a day.

[00:09:28] Maybe.

[00:09:29] Holy shit.

[00:09:29] That's ridiculous.

[00:09:30] That's like a cat dude.

[00:09:33] Um, anyway, uh, the other thing about, uh, how Spain is going to last forever and that human life will continue to be supported.

[00:09:41] Uh, by that entire peninsula, uh, is so, okay.

[00:09:48] The reason I keep going there is because my in-laws live there.

[00:09:50] And the reason they live there is because they've been expats their whole lives doing like, uh, work with, uh, agricultural science in parts of the world that, uh, will need scientists to make there be enough food growing to, to make the people not die.

[00:10:06] Which tends to be, uh, lower income places.

[00:10:09] So, um, my wife's parents have generally had a very low cost of living their entire life.

[00:10:14] At least compared to, uh, what we're used to in the U.S.

[00:10:17] And so they're like, we're not going to go back to the U.S. and fucking blow all of our savings on like three years of having a house when we could go someplace where the money goes further.

[00:10:29] And so they live in rural Spain in the south of Spain in a little house.

[00:10:32] It's gorgeous.

[00:10:33] I love visiting it.

[00:10:34] Here's the thing though.

[00:10:36] Uh, there ain't been none rain in the south of Spain for like two or three years.

[00:10:41] Uh, and like, like, it's like, ecologically it's done.

[00:10:49] Like, sorry.

[00:10:50] In our lifetimes, like, the south of Spain is just going to be a desert.

[00:10:54] Like, the fucking desert from cartoons.

[00:10:57] Where there's a fucking pole in the ground and there's two ways and one says water one mile and the other says like they them pussy 100 miles.

[00:11:05] And the guy, the guy is crawling toward, you know which one he's crawling towards.

[00:11:09] Um, it's going to be that.

[00:11:12] Uh, it's like, and it's so funny because, uh, my father-in-law is such like an amiable down to earth, like friendly.

[00:11:21] Like he's friends with everybody.

[00:11:22] He's so just like ready to have a great time.

[00:11:26] Always.

[00:11:26] He's got a, he's a beacon of joy.

[00:11:29] And he just tells us with like no sugar coating, like, oh yeah, there's like no vegetation on the, on the mountainside anymore.

[00:11:37] Yeah, all the, all the plants are dying.

[00:11:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:11:40] The, the goats, uh, they have to come down and steal water from the city.

[00:11:45] They never will do that because they hate seeing people.

[00:11:47] They're so scared, but they have to do it because otherwise they'll, they'll die.

[00:11:51] And yeah, I have a buddy who, a buddy in the village who has a lot of olive trees.

[00:11:56] He says on a normal year he gets 15,000 kilos of olives in his harvest in a year.

[00:12:01] This year he only had 1500 kilos of olives.

[00:12:05] And I had to be like, oh, I got devastating news for that guy.

[00:12:09] Because actually what he should have said was on a normal year I get 1500 kilos of olives.

[00:12:15] And there were some magical times in the past where I got 15,000.

[00:12:21] He actually had his best year yet.

[00:12:23] He doesn't know it though.

[00:12:24] Man, it's a nightmare.

[00:12:25] I got to tell you, uh, we were driving to the next town over, uh, to have a little day trip.

[00:12:33] And on the GPS, there were a lot, you know, when there's like water, when there's water, uh,

[00:12:39] sometimes they put like a blue thing on the map to indicate that like there's water here.

[00:12:44] So like there were a bunch of bridge over, over like Rios.

[00:12:48] Uh, there were some fucking like Lagos and Lagunas that we went by.

[00:12:54] Uh, and when I say went by, I mean, I saw on the GPS that we were near a blue part.

[00:13:00] But then when I looked over the bridge, I'm like, oh, this is a joke bridge.

[00:13:04] This is a bridge of nothing because the Rio was gone.

[00:13:08] It wasn't like, like, oh, there's less water.

[00:13:11] Like it was gone.

[00:13:12] Like if I was mapping there for the first time, I'd be like, no rivers here.

[00:13:18] Like, and there never will be.

[00:13:20] It's a, oh, it's scary.

[00:13:24] So they like grow stuff normally, right?

[00:13:27] Uh, olives for instance.

[00:13:29] Yeah.

[00:13:29] And olives are a famously drought resistant plant that requires very little water.

[00:13:36] Thus, if you see an olive plant dying from not having enough water, nothing can live there.

[00:13:44] Yeah.

[00:13:44] And we saw a bunch of that.

[00:13:46] Um, I mean like, and like farms like have irrigation.

[00:13:51] I don't know how they're getting the water for people, but like they are knock on wood now still.

[00:13:56] But like all the, all like just the countryside where like they're not, it's not owned by people who are currently farming on it now is like gray.

[00:14:07] It's just, it's like gray.

[00:14:09] Uh, it's like, it's fucked up, dude.

[00:14:13] Anyway, can I talk about gay Paris?

[00:14:16] Yeah.

[00:14:17] Yeah.

[00:14:17] Yeah.

[00:14:17] One moment though.

[00:14:18] Uh, before we begin with that, uh, it's a little bittersweet because this trip to France means you're not coming to heaven with me anymore because you got the virus.

[00:14:31] I got the fucking virus, dude.

[00:14:32] Um, so here's the deal.

[00:14:35] I went to gay Paris, which some people mispronounce it and they say gay Pali.

[00:14:41] Dude, it's gay Paris.

[00:14:43] It's so much funnier to say gay Paris.

[00:14:44] If someone tried to correct you, you have to say, why would I say it with an accent?

[00:14:50] That's appropriation.

[00:14:52] If, I mean, look, look at what happened to Awkwafina just because she decided to say all those words with her funny accent.

[00:15:01] For a whole career or something?

[00:15:03] Yes.

[00:15:03] Yeah.

[00:15:04] Um, gay Paris.

[00:15:06] Uh, we go to the little hotel and the little hotel has this odd key system where the key is a strange plastic slab with a series of holes cut into it in a funny order.

[00:15:18] Or you go up to your room, you stick that plastic slab in a slot, you open the door.

[00:15:24] That seems pretty normal so far.

[00:15:26] Here's why it's odd.

[00:15:28] They tell you, you can't take the key with you.

[00:15:30] You cannot, they can't leave the building.

[00:15:33] When you want to leave, you take the key down and you give it to me at the front desk.

[00:15:38] And then when you come back, you say, hello, I'm in room 44.

[00:15:41] And they say, okay.

[00:15:41] And they give you the key back.

[00:15:45] So, we noticed on the first night that there were hacking coughs echoing through the, this is an old building.

[00:15:52] I mean, it's Paris.

[00:15:53] It's gay Paris.

[00:15:54] All the buildings are old.

[00:15:55] So, like, they don't, you hear everything.

[00:15:57] And all, it was like a surround sound.

[00:16:00] I was like, I was watching Dune Part 2.

[00:16:03] Coughs all around me.

[00:16:05] And I thought to myself, this is fine.

[00:16:07] And then, furthermore, we noticed that the clerk at the hotel, the guy who is constantly handling your plastic slab, he was fucking coughing constantly.

[00:16:20] So, around halfway through my trip into gay Paris, I noticed I got a sore throat.

[00:16:26] But I thought to myself, well, one, it can't be the virus for three reasons.

[00:16:31] One, I'm moral.

[00:16:32] Two, I got the booster.

[00:16:35] Last week, I got the fucking new booster that they say is specifically for the new variants.

[00:16:40] And it's so up to date.

[00:16:42] So, it can't be that.

[00:16:44] And number three, I'm probably just dehydrated, you know, because I've been walking around in the sun.

[00:16:50] We've been doing things.

[00:16:51] We've been bopping over here and bopping over there.

[00:16:55] There's no way I got Rona.

[00:16:58] And it's going to, you know what's going to happen?

[00:17:00] I'm just going to drink a bunch of water today and it's going to go away.

[00:17:03] Hey, no, dude, no, I got fucking Rona.

[00:17:08] And here's the other thing.

[00:17:11] Our time in gay Paris, we had like a lot of like shit to do.

[00:17:15] Like we had bought tickets to the loop.

[00:17:17] We had bought tickets to Versailles.

[00:17:18] Like we got to go to these places.

[00:17:20] It's already paid for.

[00:17:22] And now, since I got no job, I can't afford to not be going to these shits I paid for.

[00:17:27] So, you know when they say like when you get COVID that you need a rest?

[00:17:32] Like it's non-negotiable.

[00:17:33] Like you got to rest.

[00:17:36] You've heard that, right?

[00:17:37] I have.

[00:17:38] Yeah.

[00:17:39] Usually it's after someone had it and didn't rest though.

[00:17:43] Yeah.

[00:17:43] So here's the thing about how I didn't rest is that I did not rest.

[00:17:47] And in fact, I was more active than I would be on a given day because I had to go and walk

[00:17:55] through the gardens at first.

[00:17:56] Had to.

[00:17:56] It sounds like it was awful.

[00:17:58] It was a fucking dream, dude.

[00:17:59] I'm not going to get too into it because like I'm not, I don't want to make this the

[00:18:02] Rick Steve sickos and also like what can be said.

[00:18:06] Gay Paris, those smug fuckers are right to think that their city is the best.

[00:18:12] Like they just did the best one of those.

[00:18:14] It's, it's so like, it's so good.

[00:18:19] Like I was showing around Manovsky, Manovsky article and his partner were in Chicago recently.

[00:18:26] They spent a day hanging around with me.

[00:18:27] You were, I believe, ill at the time or otherwise occupied.

[00:18:32] I think the devil had me.

[00:18:33] The devil had me.

[00:18:34] In his claws.

[00:18:35] Yes.

[00:18:36] Yeah.

[00:18:37] So yeah, you, you weren't able to join us, but we made mention that we were going to

[00:18:42] go to Gay Paris and Manovsky's partner went absolutely sicko mode and was like, oh my God.

[00:18:50] Yes.

[00:18:51] And like told us all the things to do.

[00:18:54] Two things.

[00:18:55] One, all the things that they told us to do were incredible.

[00:18:58] The recommendations were all on point.

[00:19:00] And two, it's just like, I get it now.

[00:19:02] Like I get like, if someone's like, I'm going to Spain.

[00:19:04] I'm like, oh, hell yeah.

[00:19:06] You're going to have a great time.

[00:19:07] Someone's like, I'm going to Gay Paris.

[00:19:08] I'm like, I'm so jealous.

[00:19:09] I want to go.

[00:19:11] Fuck.

[00:19:11] Like it's just, it kicks ass.

[00:19:13] That's the, it's the truth about Gay Paris.

[00:19:14] And you're going to say, well, it's only like that because it's the legacy of colonialism.

[00:19:19] So evil and so destructive.

[00:19:21] The, all, all the wealth you're seeing there, all the treasures of that city are stolen from

[00:19:26] others.

[00:19:26] Well, yes, this is all cities.

[00:19:27] If that's going to be disqualifying for you, then I'm, then like tourism is simply not

[00:19:33] in the cards for you at all.

[00:19:34] If only good things have to happen in a place that's going to rule out, uh, I think most

[00:19:43] of the globe.

[00:19:44] Yeah.

[00:19:44] And frankly, the universe.

[00:19:46] Yeah.

[00:19:47] I was going to say you're going to have to exclusively be like going to queer artist houses where like

[00:19:53] 10 people sleep on the floor, but they always get, there's a lot of like war and hatred happening

[00:20:00] in their, uh, re the dishes.

[00:20:03] So like it does, even that won't, won't do you.

[00:20:07] Um, what was I talking about?

[00:20:09] I thought, I thought I had gotten COVID cause I got sick.

[00:20:14] Uh, it was not, well, here's my evidence, uh, that it wasn't the test said no, but that

[00:20:19] doesn't mean anything.

[00:20:20] Also that test was expired.

[00:20:21] So maybe not, but I don't think it was, but anyway, I, I, I messaged you.

[00:20:27] I was like, Hey, uh, cause Tom and I had gone to see Ted Leo.

[00:20:31] So like, I think the day before you left or very, very shortly before.

[00:20:35] Yeah.

[00:20:36] Uh, and we were watching Ted Leo and, uh, it was what happened was pretty typical, which

[00:20:44] it was an opener.

[00:20:44] I didn't care about.

[00:20:45] And then Tom complained about the opener and I was like, I agree.

[00:20:48] This is good.

[00:20:48] Usually I have to just complain about the opener, but this is good.

[00:20:52] It was so fucking annoying because I was like, Joe has a limited amount of time.

[00:20:57] He can be standing upright after 8 PM.

[00:21:01] And I'm so glad that there's no opener.

[00:21:04] And I know Ted Leo was going to start exactly on time because he's in.

[00:21:07] I did not believe you.

[00:21:08] And I was right not to, uh, he started exactly like he, he started at nine zero zero zero zero.

[00:21:14] He started exactly on time.

[00:21:16] And it's just that there was an unadvertised opener that ate the first hour.

[00:21:21] Uh, and they weren't even like bad.

[00:21:23] It was just like, I, I just, I wanted to see the thing.

[00:21:27] Yeah.

[00:21:27] Uh, anyway, he does his set and he's, he is coughing in a way that I can only say he's

[00:21:32] shooting spike proteins at us.

[00:21:34] Like we were on the third level of the Metro.

[00:21:36] And even though obviously that's a huge vertical distance, the spike proteins are hidden us.

[00:21:42] Yeah.

[00:21:42] I can see them being shot out of him as he's like guitaring and singing away.

[00:21:48] Uh, he's also very sweaty.

[00:21:49] And this is so clearly not a rockstar sweat.

[00:21:52] This is so like, I, I need orange juice type of sweat.

[00:21:58] But anyway, uh, I thought I had gotten sick from it.

[00:22:01] And I texted or messaged you because I was like, Hey man, are you sick?

[00:22:04] And you're like, no, I'm having the time of my life in gay Paris.

[00:22:07] And literally the next day you're like, dude, I think I have COVID.

[00:22:13] I have COVID from gay Paris, dude.

[00:22:15] So the funniest thing about the Ted Leo concert is that he was doing a 20th anniversary tour

[00:22:20] for his classic album, Shake the Sheets that he recorded when he was 20 years younger than

[00:22:26] he is now.

[00:22:27] And I don't know if you know this about the human voice, but when 20 years elapse, it loses

[00:22:31] range.

[00:22:32] And Ted Leo's style of music, which was especially on display 20 years ago on his classic album,

[00:22:39] Shake the Sheets, is to, uh, absolutely slam the limits of his vocal register as hard as

[00:22:46] he can.

[00:22:47] Uh, and it, it works because he gets right up to the edge and doesn't tip over.

[00:22:54] And it's very thrilling and pleasant to hear.

[00:22:57] Now imagine that 20 years have elapsed and that also he definitely has COVID that night.

[00:23:04] Uh, I, I can't say that he sounded perfect.

[00:23:11] Still worth going to.

[00:23:13] Anyway, uh, all of which is to say, I got COVID in gay Paris.

[00:23:16] Here's the other thing about gay Paris is that the food is yummy.

[00:23:21] The food is yummy to me, dude.

[00:23:23] Here's the thing about the food being yummy to me.

[00:23:25] We went to a Michelin star restaurant, which I found by going to Michelin.com and looking

[00:23:30] up Paris one star vegetarian friendly.

[00:23:34] And it turns out that like, you can just use that website.

[00:23:38] It shows you what the good restaurants are.

[00:23:40] And so we went to this place and I know a lot of people, I've seen it.

[00:23:44] Jillians of times online in posts, even in our own discord, people being like French.

[00:23:51] Did you know?

[00:23:51] I bet you didn't know this.

[00:23:53] French cuisine is actually overrated.

[00:23:55] It's only considered to be elite because they invented the concept of cuisine as something

[00:24:01] that could be elite.

[00:24:02] And also a lot of Michelin star restaurants are just kind of pretentious and don't actually

[00:24:09] taste that good.

[00:24:09] Well, I'm here to tell you, maybe that's true for some other places, but the place we went

[00:24:15] had a dining experience that was simply out of this world and blew any down home, unpretentious,

[00:24:23] rustic fucking shit clear out of the water.

[00:24:27] The technique and flavors on display made any rustic down to earth home style restaurant look

[00:24:36] like rank amateurs.

[00:24:38] Whereas this was the work of an artist.

[00:24:40] I'm sorry to say it.

[00:24:42] I'm pretentious.

[00:24:43] And they, the star was well earned.

[00:24:47] They made me eat a duck heart, Joe.

[00:24:49] And I didn't even think it was gross.

[00:24:52] Out of the duck?

[00:24:54] No, they put it on a plate.

[00:24:55] So here's actually the funny thing.

[00:24:57] So this was a place to have a bunch of courses and you didn't like order.

[00:25:02] You just had, you ordered, do you want the normal menu or the veg menu?

[00:25:05] And that was all you like could do.

[00:25:08] I mean, obviously they said like, is there anything you're allergic to?

[00:25:10] One of our, uh, my wife's friend's husband was like, I'm allergic to shellfish.

[00:25:15] So they're like, we got you.

[00:25:16] I truly love when restaurants have that.

[00:25:19] Where it just like, take the options out.

[00:25:20] Like, it's just like, the larger category is what matters.

[00:25:23] But, but the actual, just do it.

[00:25:26] You're a fucking food place.

[00:25:27] I'm just some guy.

[00:25:29] Yeah.

[00:25:29] Yeah.

[00:25:29] If you offer me a big ass menu, that's just, all that says to me is like, one, some of

[00:25:35] these are joke choices.

[00:25:37] Like make sure you don't get the wrong one.

[00:25:39] There've been restaurants that I go to with a bunch of friends and I, I get the dud.

[00:25:44] Like it's clear.

[00:25:45] I got the dud.

[00:25:46] Um, the dud experience I had is there was a pizza and beignets place in Lincoln square

[00:25:52] that went out of business, I think with COVID and they had an espresso machine.

[00:25:55] I went in there once and I was like, Hey, I would like this and an espresso.

[00:25:59] Everyone literally turned around and noticed the espresso machine for the first time.

[00:26:04] And, and they were just like, Oh no, we'll figure it out.

[00:26:09] Yeah.

[00:26:09] We'll figure it out.

[00:26:10] Yeah.

[00:26:10] And I was just like, no, like you don't have to.

[00:26:12] And it was like, I, I just felt like I walked in to a business and I gave them the worst

[00:26:20] task that they could be prepared for.

[00:26:24] It's very funny.

[00:26:25] Um, that's awful.

[00:26:27] Uh, well, okay.

[00:26:29] But, but at this place, Ochre, by the way, is the name of the restaurant.

[00:26:32] And, and oh my God, I, I can't believe I almost didn't talk about this.

[00:26:37] Cause I said, I've, I've been saying it out loud constantly and the talking to you about

[00:26:40] it.

[00:26:41] The, the street this restaurant is on is rude to goo.

[00:26:46] Rude goo.

[00:26:47] Rue de goo.

[00:26:52] Forgive me, but I have to say it again.

[00:26:54] Rude goo.

[00:26:54] Rude goo.

[00:26:55] I, I said to you that that's like a monster hunter slime pun and you're like, they don't

[00:27:00] talk.

[00:27:00] And I'm like, they absolutely talk.

[00:27:01] They make their goo puns all the time, especially in rocket slime, which is basically a big goo

[00:27:07] pun.

[00:27:08] Uh, but yeah, it would, it would, you would, the slime joke would be, you go to like Paris

[00:27:12] and you go to rude to goo.

[00:27:13] Rude goo.

[00:27:14] Yeah.

[00:27:14] Uh, and I know that the correct pronunciation of Rue uses the French R, but I'm incapable

[00:27:20] of pronouncing the French R. And also I bet if you did that, it wouldn't rhyme. So I'm

[00:27:26] going to stick with rude goo.

[00:27:28] Uh, so okay.

[00:27:29] The point being, you don't order, you just get told by the guy what you're about to eat

[00:27:35] as it's being put down.

[00:27:36] Uh, and it's very funny because the guy said at the beginning, I apologize for my English.

[00:27:41] English is okay for, uh, menu, but, uh, for conversation.

[00:27:48] No.

[00:27:49] Uh, and we said, that's okay.

[00:27:51] And he said, I'm going to New York soon to practice English.

[00:27:57] And we're like, you're going to have a great time.

[00:27:59] And this guy was so charming and he would come and he would explain what we were about to

[00:28:03] eat.

[00:28:04] And his English for menu was not good because about half the words he said were just

[00:28:09] French anyway.

[00:28:10] And really, as soon as he got past like sort of the main thing that it was, like, this

[00:28:16] is like tortellini or this is a celery root.

[00:28:21] Like after he said like the main thing that it was, basically everything else was incomprehensible.

[00:28:26] But he brought us one thing where he was like, and this one for the meat menu people, I'm going

[00:28:32] to tell you what this is after you eat it.

[00:28:35] And he said, and we like, this was very surreal.

[00:28:39] We had like a double take and we had to like, did this really, like, did you see it too?

[00:28:44] He said, good luck.

[00:28:46] He's feeding you people.

[00:28:49] Those are people.

[00:28:50] I was like, well, this is 100% Oregon meat.

[00:28:55] This is a thousand percent.

[00:28:56] If he told us what it was, we would go, ew, and not eat it.

[00:29:01] But I trust this because it was like the fifth of the seven courses.

[00:29:04] So I already knew I was having a delicious experience.

[00:29:07] So I'm like, I'm going to give it a try.

[00:29:09] And I took a bite of it and I'm like, well, this is really flavorful and really cooked well.

[00:29:15] Oh, and the texture is like really nice.

[00:29:18] And then I realized that I had chewed it, the number of chews that I thought it would take.

[00:29:23] And I was like a third of the way through.

[00:29:26] Oh, it was, there was much more grit.

[00:29:29] Yeah, there was a lot of muscle.

[00:29:33] Yeah.

[00:29:34] I mean, I'll say this.

[00:29:36] I would prefer to have like the meat part of a duck, but I didn't hate eating that duck heart.

[00:29:44] And then he came back.

[00:29:46] He was like, did you know what it was?

[00:29:49] And we're like, probably at Oregon.

[00:29:51] And he's like, yeah, it was.

[00:29:55] Whatever.

[00:29:56] The real thing about that place is that they brought us five desserts.

[00:29:59] Again, we didn't order them.

[00:30:01] They just came with it.

[00:30:03] And each was better than the last.

[00:30:05] And also, there were only two that were like on like the printed menu.

[00:30:10] Like this is what, these are the courses you're going to get.

[00:30:12] And they're in French, so we don't fucking really understand.

[00:30:15] But we can tell.

[00:30:16] Oh, this one says rhubarb and this one says chocolate.

[00:30:18] Those are desserts.

[00:30:20] And then after that, they brought three additional desserts.

[00:30:23] It was incredible.

[00:30:24] I couldn't believe it.

[00:30:25] Why is French cuisine so obsessed with torturing ducks?

[00:30:30] I don't know.

[00:30:30] They taste good as hell, dude.

[00:30:32] Yeah.

[00:30:33] Dude, I don't know.

[00:30:33] I love ducks.

[00:30:34] When I see duckies in a pond, I'm like, I love you.

[00:30:36] You're my good friend.

[00:30:38] I hope, please be my friend.

[00:30:40] I wish I had bread for you, my friend.

[00:30:42] But at the same time, if you give me their heart on a plate, I'll eat it.

[00:30:47] Oh, geez.

[00:30:48] I don't know about this.

[00:30:49] We saw a fucking swan that was like our, okay, dude.

[00:30:52] I gotta tell you about the European mind.

[00:30:55] They hate, there's like a bad vibe over there.

[00:30:58] Every single cat we saw in Spain, including the cats that my in-laws like have, almost without exception.

[00:31:08] These cats are terrified of humans in a profound way that can never be overcome.

[00:31:16] What's like, what is going on with the culture there?

[00:31:18] What is the vibe that makes all these animals so fearful?

[00:31:22] What do they know?

[00:31:24] What do they think is gonna happen?

[00:31:26] Similarly, we were at Versailles.

[00:31:28] We were chilling on like the place where you can sit down.

[00:31:30] And there was a swan there that was just sort of walking around.

[00:31:34] And we had like bread.

[00:31:36] Like there was like leftover bread from like our previous meal that we like had with us.

[00:31:41] And we're like, shit, give the swan some bread.

[00:31:43] And the swan was like our friend and like came right up next to me.

[00:31:45] And it was like huge.

[00:31:47] And I was like, you're my buddy.

[00:31:48] You can sense my good intentions, swan.

[00:31:51] And you're my friend.

[00:31:52] And it did.

[00:31:53] And then a couple minutes later, a group of French children on a school trip all ganged up on the swan.

[00:31:59] And started yelling, allé, allé at it and kicking at it.

[00:32:03] What the hell?

[00:32:04] Why are they little goblins?

[00:32:05] I don't know, dude.

[00:32:07] This is the culture.

[00:32:08] This is the kind of war-like.

[00:32:11] This is the European mind.

[00:32:13] This is why here it was a crucible of war.

[00:32:15] Yes, exactly.

[00:32:16] Yes, yes.

[00:32:16] Where did the colonialism come from?

[00:32:18] Where did this cruelty, where was it born?

[00:32:20] It just is.

[00:32:21] It's there in the air, dude.

[00:32:23] It's just all around.

[00:32:28] See, in Chicago, we would never do this.

[00:32:30] We would just be like.

[00:32:31] I would never kick a goose or a swan.

[00:32:33] I'm actually kind of.

[00:32:35] I'm not scared in the sense that they're going to kill me, but they'll cut you.

[00:32:40] I'm scared of either.

[00:32:42] I don't know.

[00:32:43] As a kid, I definitely wouldn't be ganging up on it.

[00:32:46] I mean, they were actually.

[00:32:47] They were kicking at it.

[00:32:49] None of them were getting close enough to make contact, I think.

[00:32:51] Because even with the advantage of numbers, which they had, they still had some fear of the swan.

[00:32:58] But certainly no respect and certainly no love, which I have both of.

[00:33:03] It would have been really something, though.

[00:33:06] If you got to watch those kids do like a failed monster hunter run.

[00:33:10] Oh my gosh, they get carded.

[00:33:11] It just fucking wipes them out.

[00:33:12] Yes.

[00:33:15] We were like, where's the fucking chaperone of this student group?

[00:33:19] It's like a bunch of eight-year-olds.

[00:33:20] They need an adult to be showing them around.

[00:33:23] Otherwise, they'll fucking get lost in Versailles and never come out.

[00:33:27] Half of that's right.

[00:33:27] They need an adult, but just so they don't kill animals.

[00:33:30] Yeah, and the adult was looking and sort of just like, hmm.

[00:33:33] And only when it was time for the group to move on, like we have to leave, that's when he was like, no, no.

[00:33:41] And had them move on.

[00:33:42] It's just like, my God.

[00:33:44] Again, this is.

[00:33:45] It comes from the parents.

[00:33:48] It comes from the parents, dude.

[00:33:50] It drifts down.

[00:33:51] This hatred and disrespect of animals.

[00:33:53] Although I should say, we did have one dinner at a restaurant.

[00:33:57] That was pretty good.

[00:33:58] It wasn't like a fancy restaurant.

[00:33:59] It was just like, this is a place that's nearby.

[00:34:01] And it was lovely.

[00:34:03] But near the end of the dinner, I'm sort of like COVID-y, but I don't know it yet.

[00:34:09] And I'm trying to just like, it's just a cold.

[00:34:11] It's just a cold in the cold.

[00:34:12] And the reason I'm so tired and tippy late in the day is not because I'm feverish, but because I'm really tired.

[00:34:17] Which I fucking was, in addition to having COVID.

[00:34:20] And I'm just like, so like, I'm just trying to like, it's fine.

[00:34:23] Like, I'm going to get through.

[00:34:24] And I hear, I'm sort of like glazed over.

[00:34:28] It's like, I've eaten a big dinner.

[00:34:30] I'm tired.

[00:34:31] I'm sort of getting a little sleepy at the table.

[00:34:33] And I hear, oh my god, a cat.

[00:34:35] And I think, that can't be, that can't be right.

[00:34:39] And I look down, dude, there's the fucking, the restaurant's cat that lives there.

[00:34:44] And it's this big fucking spherical calico cat who is so goddamn cute.

[00:34:51] And it's just under our table.

[00:34:52] And I reach to pet her.

[00:34:54] And she's the one European cat that is not filled with the abject terror of all human beings.

[00:34:59] And she lets you pet her.

[00:35:01] And as soon as you start petting her, she starts purring very loud and drooling.

[00:35:05] Which is so cute.

[00:35:07] And her name is Miel, the cat.

[00:35:10] And she is the greatest person in Paris.

[00:35:15] She's the reason to go to Paris.

[00:35:17] You gotta see Miel, the cat.

[00:35:19] I love her.

[00:35:20] And she's the best part.

[00:35:21] She's like the ultimate, she's like the ideal of like the friendly, welcoming, like, bonjour, welcome to my restaurant.

[00:35:30] And seeing Miel is the greatest thing that can ever happen to anyone.

[00:35:36] Can I ask a cultural question?

[00:35:38] Yeah.

[00:35:38] It was like three or four weeks before you left.

[00:35:41] But a video that was going around was this video of a French man being sung to by a bunch of children that are looking like him as they hold a cigarette and a glass of like, I guess, scotch.

[00:35:55] And it's deranged.

[00:35:57] It's like, I've watched it a lot of times because it's just like a very out of body experience.

[00:36:01] It's very scary.

[00:36:05] Is that like a greeting thing over there?

[00:36:09] Or is that how they say goodbye?

[00:36:12] I didn't personally see any children, let alone an entire room full of children who were all cosplaying as a very grubby old, old man.

[00:36:23] I believe Serge Gainsbourg is this man, the famous French singer known for looking like shit and smoking.

[00:36:32] And I think having sex with young women, which I guess goes hand in hand over there.

[00:36:39] You wouldn't think those things really link up so much.

[00:36:43] The look on his face as they are seeing at him is he does not actually rub his eyes with his hands.

[00:36:51] Like, are those fucking real?

[00:36:55] But he's basically doing that with his posture as he watches these kids.

[00:36:59] And they're like, are they here here?

[00:37:01] Do you see it too?

[00:37:02] Or what?

[00:37:03] Did that waiter just tell me good luck when he handed me my dinner?

[00:37:09] Or do it?

[00:37:10] Oh, you want to talk about cultural differences?

[00:37:13] This, I couldn't, I was like, I couldn't believe this happened.

[00:37:17] I got to tell you about this.

[00:37:19] So that's actually two things.

[00:37:21] I got to tell you about this one first.

[00:37:23] So we get to Charles de Gaulle Airport in gay fucking Paris, dude.

[00:37:30] And we're like, we got to take the train to our hotel.

[00:37:33] And I know that the Paris Metro system is good because Dorval Carter went to Paris and he said,

[00:37:40] I am making it my goal to make the CTA on par with the Paris Metro, which everyone said

[00:37:46] was a fucking hilarious comedy, comedic joke.

[00:37:51] And now having been there, man, like what?

[00:37:54] Like that's one of the dumbest men of all time if he thinks that's possible.

[00:37:58] And if he thinks that anything he's doing could possibly achieve that because the Paris Metro

[00:38:03] is simply out of this world in terms of its quality, how fucking frequently the trains

[00:38:10] come.

[00:38:10] The longest we ever had to wait for a train was the train to Versailles, which is like

[00:38:14] the equivalent of the Metro.

[00:38:15] Like this is a, this is not like the intra city commuter.

[00:38:18] It's just going to the burbs and it's big, big trains that are double decker and they don't

[00:38:22] come as often because, you know, it's not like you need to just get across.

[00:38:27] Dude, not rapid transit.

[00:38:27] Yeah.

[00:38:28] I had to wait seven minutes for the Versailles train.

[00:38:32] That was the longest I had to wait for any public transit, including buses by far.

[00:38:37] Anyway, all this is to say we need to get.

[00:38:39] So that would be a Metro train every seven minutes to be clear.

[00:38:42] Yes.

[00:38:42] Yes.

[00:38:43] Yeah.

[00:38:43] Yes.

[00:38:43] Like you could get to Oak Lawn no matter what, every seven minutes.

[00:38:48] Yeah.

[00:38:48] If I just say, Tom, you need to go to Hazel Crest.

[00:38:51] I'd be like, buddy, it's not, it's not even a problem for me.

[00:38:56] So I, we need a fair card, dude.

[00:38:59] We need the Ventra, but for Paris, for gay Paris, because it's gay.

[00:39:04] It's gay Ventra.

[00:39:05] We need a gay Metro card.

[00:39:07] And so we go to the gay machine and there's like an English option.

[00:39:12] Thank God.

[00:39:13] But like, I still can't fucking figure it.

[00:39:15] Cause we, like, I don't know what I'm going to need.

[00:39:18] Like, are we going to need just the train?

[00:39:20] Do we want to go on the bus?

[00:39:21] I, I didn't know at that point that there was a second like rail system that went to the burbs.

[00:39:27] That was not technically the same system as the metrics.

[00:39:30] Like, do I need that?

[00:39:31] Is that concluded?

[00:39:33] It's all, there's just too much.

[00:39:34] I just want a weekly pass.

[00:39:35] We're going to be there for five days.

[00:39:37] Give me a weekly pass.

[00:39:38] You know how it is in Chicago.

[00:39:39] You get a weekly Ventra pass.

[00:39:41] And then for that week, you can go on all the shit as much as you want.

[00:39:45] I want that.

[00:39:46] I cannot figure out on this machine how to get that.

[00:39:49] And I don't know how.

[00:39:50] And I realized, okay, there is like a, there's like a room that is like the Metro room with like tellers.

[00:39:56] And like, you go up and talk to them.

[00:39:59] Like, that's what I want to do.

[00:40:00] They'll tell me what to do.

[00:40:01] And so I go up to this room and there's like a woman who's like standing in front of the room before you get in the room.

[00:40:07] And like a third of the time, she talks to the people who are going into the room.

[00:40:11] Two thirds of the time, she didn't do anything.

[00:40:13] They just walk in.

[00:40:14] She decides to talk to us.

[00:40:16] And she says, what do you want?

[00:40:18] I say, we want weekly Metro passes.

[00:40:23] And she says the most insane thing I've ever heard in my life, Joe.

[00:40:28] Can you get, like, what do you think would be a reasonable like question?

[00:40:34] If like I said, you know, we want weekly Metro passes and you have to ask a clarifying question.

[00:40:40] What do you think that question would be?

[00:40:42] Where are you going is probably what I would open with.

[00:40:46] That's really smart.

[00:40:48] It makes a lot of sense.

[00:40:50] What she said was, do you have a small physical photograph of yourself?

[00:41:03] Oblivion guard shit.

[00:41:04] I love it.

[00:41:05] I was like, in my head, like, this has to be a translation thing.

[00:41:11] Like, she's working in the airport with tourists.

[00:41:14] Obviously, she has to know English.

[00:41:15] But like, I'm not expecting her to be absolutely fluent.

[00:41:18] Like, this has to be some shit.

[00:41:20] Some wires have been crossed, surely.

[00:41:22] Like, later in the trip, one of our dining companions was saying, like, they wanted a sandwich with just, you know, one thing on it.

[00:41:30] You know, just this.

[00:41:32] And the guy, the waiter was so fucking confused.

[00:41:35] And it clicked with me.

[00:41:37] And I'm like, oh, only this.

[00:41:39] And they're like, oh, okay.

[00:41:40] I'm like, oh, they were hearing just as, like, moral.

[00:41:43] Like, I want it with moral mayonnaise.

[00:41:46] And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[00:41:48] So I thought it was that.

[00:41:50] And I'm like, no.

[00:41:53] What?

[00:41:53] A photo of myself?

[00:41:55] No, I don't have that.

[00:41:56] And it's like, like a passport.

[00:41:57] I'm like, oh.

[00:42:00] Okay.

[00:42:01] I'm misunderstanding.

[00:42:02] I have my passport.

[00:42:04] So we're good.

[00:42:05] And I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:42:06] Like the, you need a photo like what is in your passport.

[00:42:12] And I'm just like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[00:42:14] And it's like, if you don't have a photo, you got to go there.

[00:42:15] And she points to a fucking photo booth that looks like the photo booth.

[00:42:20] Like, get your silly pictures with, like, a funny.

[00:42:23] Yeah, at the mall or a wedding.

[00:42:24] Except it's not silly, dude.

[00:42:26] You go, there was a line.

[00:42:27] We had to go and sit.

[00:42:28] And it's like, get your photos taken.

[00:42:30] And it has, like, the passport compliance, like, list of rules.

[00:42:34] Where, like, if you're smiling, it'll just say, not compliant.

[00:42:39] Take again.

[00:42:40] So we take these fucking, like, prison mugshot photos of ourselves.

[00:42:44] And it prints out a big piece of fucking photo paper with four copies.

[00:42:49] And I'm just like, I'm so fucking scared.

[00:42:51] They're going to be like, sucker blue.

[00:42:55] We did not ask for four pictures of yourself.

[00:42:58] What are we going to do with this?

[00:43:01] And so I'm terrified.

[00:43:02] We go up.

[00:43:03] We're in line.

[00:43:04] And there is an Italian pair of tourists who are being talked to by a teller who are ahead of us.

[00:43:13] And it must be that the teller does not know Italian.

[00:43:16] And they have discovered that their common language is English.

[00:43:19] Because they're talking in English.

[00:43:21] And their teller is, like, the comedy teller.

[00:43:24] Who, like, gets through his day by being very rude to the people.

[00:43:29] Which I take no issue with.

[00:43:31] I think it's great that they do that over there.

[00:43:35] Because he's like, you don't have pictures?

[00:43:38] Mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia.

[00:43:40] Because they're Italian.

[00:43:42] He's doing a bit.

[00:43:43] He's teasing.

[00:43:44] Do you have pictures?

[00:43:45] I, of course, approve of this.

[00:43:46] Yeah.

[00:43:46] And they say something effective.

[00:43:49] Like, why would we have that?

[00:43:51] It's like, you don't know about the pictures?

[00:43:52] There's, oh, it's put up everywhere.

[00:43:54] It's, we talk about it everywhere.

[00:43:57] Joe.

[00:43:58] I was, at this point, I'm like, okay.

[00:44:00] Are the, and I look all fucking around.

[00:44:03] Nowhere do they have any indication that in order to get a pass to get on the train,

[00:44:07] you must already have a small physical photo of yourself.

[00:44:15] Anyway, we get up to the front.

[00:44:17] And we're like, four weekly Metro passes, please.

[00:44:21] And I'm, I'm like, what is the chances that this photo thing's fucking fake?

[00:44:25] And the lady's like, yes.

[00:44:27] Where's your photos?

[00:44:29] And I'm like, okay.

[00:44:29] Okay.

[00:44:30] And I give her the four, you know, because there's four of us, the four fucking pieces

[00:44:34] of photo paper.

[00:44:35] And I expect her to be like, I just need one.

[00:44:39] But she brings out a huge comedy pair of scissors and cuts them out arts and crafts style for

[00:44:44] us and affixes them to our Metro cards.

[00:44:47] It is the most ridiculous shit on earth.

[00:44:49] I cannot believe that you need a fucking picture of yourself to go on the train.

[00:44:54] Is it so they can then match you with like footage if they need?

[00:45:00] I have no goddamn clue, Joe.

[00:45:05] You know what it is?

[00:45:06] It's probably just sort of like a make work project for people who own photo booths.

[00:45:10] Yes.

[00:45:11] Yes.

[00:45:11] I mean, here's the actual answer.

[00:45:13] In like the seventies, they decided that this was the process and then no one wanted to do

[00:45:20] the work of updating it because who cares?

[00:45:23] Generations of workers produce the little photos.

[00:45:29] See, yeah, like you never show it to anyone.

[00:45:32] You just boop it on the machine like a Fentra card.

[00:45:36] It's not like I have to be like, this is me, sir.

[00:45:38] And similarly, it's not as though if it got lost, it could be returned to me.

[00:45:42] There's no contact information on there.

[00:45:45] It's not as though if I was holding my wife's card and she was holding mine, they wouldn't

[00:45:49] work.

[00:45:49] It's truly a nonsense thing.

[00:45:51] And also, if I were to get like a single, like a single ride card, you know, like at

[00:45:57] the machine, the machine doesn't have these like unlimited rides, you know, gated by like

[00:46:02] the number of days rather than the number of rides.

[00:46:05] If you get one of those, it doesn't have your fucking picture on it.

[00:46:07] It's nonsense.

[00:46:08] And the other thing that blew, uh, this wasn't really shocking.

[00:46:11] I knew this would happen.

[00:46:13] But when it happened, it was so funny that I'm like, this is real.

[00:46:16] I'm seeing this in real life.

[00:46:18] Uh, one of our, uh, traveling companions, my wife's friend, like you, is, uh, beset with

[00:46:26] fucking chronic health shit that the doctors, uh, when she's like, can you please make me feel

[00:46:33] well?

[00:46:33] They're like, how dare you show up to my house?

[00:46:38] What are you doing here?

[00:46:39] You go away.

[00:46:42] Uh, so her thing now is she has a mysterious GI issue that makes, uh, eating anything other

[00:46:48] than extremely strict diet hurt a lot, which she was, uh, going to Paris.

[00:46:55] So she's like, I'm going to fucking eat everything in Paris and I am going to eating city.

[00:47:00] Yeah.

[00:47:00] Like I'm going to hurt a lot, but like, whatever I worth it.

[00:47:05] And in the end, she did agree that although she heard a lot, it was worth it.

[00:47:09] But one thing that we noticed really right away is that alcohol, the ROI on that was

[00:47:16] fucked.

[00:47:17] Like that was, she had like one sip of champagne and she's like, yeah, no, I can't have any

[00:47:22] more.

[00:47:22] Like the amount of pain it's giving is far beyond any other food or, or drink that was being

[00:47:28] consumed and, uh, not, not worth it in terms of enjoyment.

[00:47:34] So on the last day of Paris, uh, I am fucking like in the full throes of COVID.

[00:47:39] And to be clear, the booster worked in the sense that I was sick, sick for like three

[00:47:44] days and then I was fine.

[00:47:46] But this is like the worst day.

[00:47:47] And I, in retrospect, should not have gone to dinner.

[00:47:51] I mean, I shouldn't have gone anywhere in public while I had COVID.

[00:47:54] I know that.

[00:47:55] Uh, but I didn't know I had COVID yet.

[00:47:58] Cause we didn't have any fucking tests.

[00:47:59] I thought I just had a cold.

[00:48:01] Cause I'm like, I know COVID is like worse than this.

[00:48:04] I'm like still able to go about my day.

[00:48:06] And I know that with COVID you have to rest, but I'm not resting and I'm fine.

[00:48:10] So what?

[00:48:11] Oops, sorry.

[00:48:13] But I really shouldn't have gone to dinner because I was like, fuck, I feel bad.

[00:48:18] And I wasn't able to like focus on enjoying the meal.

[00:48:21] The point being, I know there's a certain level of sick that I get where I'm just like,

[00:48:26] I don't need anyone to tell me.

[00:48:27] I just know I cannot have a drop of alcohol.

[00:48:31] It just, the idea of it is repulsive to me.

[00:48:34] It's just like, that is, I'm in a bad way body wise and alcohol pleasant as it is, is poison.

[00:48:40] I can tell it, but being my body feel worse.

[00:48:42] And I simply cannot do that.

[00:48:44] So we have two of four people who are just like, I will not have a drop of alcohol.

[00:48:49] And so when we're at this restaurant, the guy's like, so what bottle of wine do you want?

[00:48:55] A red, a white, a rosé.

[00:48:58] And we say, no wine, sir.

[00:49:02] And he looks like we just told him the day he would die.

[00:49:07] Like, we used our Shinigami eyes and like have given him the information that weighs more than anything he's ever known.

[00:49:16] Because you didn't get wine, they're not going to let him go home.

[00:49:19] Do you understand?

[00:49:21] He was like, surely what about the champagne?

[00:49:24] Like, what?

[00:49:25] Not even a, not even a champagne.

[00:49:28] And we're like, no wines.

[00:49:29] Yeah, dude, he looked like that was it for him.

[00:49:32] Like, it's over for me.

[00:49:34] Couldn't believe it.

[00:49:35] It was so sad.

[00:49:38] And to be clear, he was right to do that.

[00:49:41] Because even I, a wine dolt who does not understand or really know anything about wine other than like it's made from grapes.

[00:49:52] The wine that I did have prior to getting too sick to have wine was like, again, I don't know like the specifics.

[00:50:00] I don't know about notes.

[00:50:01] But like this shit was way better than the Aldi wine.

[00:50:04] Yeah, it's probably got more stuff going on than Aldi.

[00:50:09] Yeah.

[00:50:09] And all in all, here's what I would say is my review of Paris, of gay Paris.

[00:50:15] This shit's way better than what you get at Aldi.

[00:50:17] Speaking of food, a cool thing that's happening here is there's this company that had good meats called Boar's Head.

[00:50:27] And all their stuff, I guess, was made in like a big disgusting barrel.

[00:50:34] It's never been cleaned.

[00:50:35] And I guess it's giving everyone listeria.

[00:50:37] Yeah, so here's the thing I bought.

[00:50:39] I've been having for lunch for like months every day a turkey sandwich.

[00:50:45] And I've bought a lot of different kinds of meat from the store.

[00:50:50] And there's really no competition.

[00:50:52] The most yummy turkey is Boar's Head.

[00:50:54] And unfortunately, yeah, we all saw the news article that's like Boar's Head is poison meat that kills you.

[00:51:01] That has been made in the dump.

[00:51:03] They make it in the dump.

[00:51:04] I do feel like if you were careful about microdosing it, I think you could build up immunity.

[00:51:12] I do.

[00:51:14] Because that way you wouldn't have to waste all the stuff you bought already.

[00:51:18] Furthermore, you could probably get the existing meat really cheap, right?

[00:51:24] Because you're the only one with the immunity.

[00:51:27] Yeah.

[00:51:27] I'm like they have to.

[00:51:29] I'm their only audience.

[00:51:30] They have to cater to me.

[00:51:32] You'd probably get them delivering it to me.

[00:51:34] That would be so good.

[00:51:35] This is an example of market capture.

[00:51:38] You are a mover and a shaker in the business world.

[00:51:42] So I tell you about this.

[00:51:43] Sorry to change the subject.

[00:51:44] But what we're looking for condos with our realtor Al, who's one of the great homies of all time.

[00:51:48] We love Al.

[00:51:49] We were seeing a place that had a closet off of the kitchen that was simply unthinkable.

[00:51:55] It was like so voluminous.

[00:51:57] It was storage like I've never imagined.

[00:52:00] So often we would see a place and like storage is going to be an issue.

[00:52:03] This was like if a genie granted you all the storage you could ever want.

[00:52:08] And we were looking in this and Al too was like wow.

[00:52:12] The storage in here.

[00:52:14] And we both noticed at the same time that they had a deli slicer in there.

[00:52:18] And he was just like like Seinfeld.

[00:52:23] And like that was when I had such a connection with Al.

[00:52:29] The goofiest thing I think I saw in a place.

[00:52:33] There was a Humboldt.

[00:52:34] I think it was in Humboldt Park.

[00:52:35] It was basically a house.

[00:52:38] But the only bathroom was in the attic.

[00:52:44] And Al was like he was very polite about why it's a horrible choice.

[00:52:49] He was very not that I was like eager to buy it.

[00:52:52] But he didn't mince words.

[00:52:55] I mean it's just like it's an insane thing to deal with.

[00:52:59] Like definitely send all the water to the top of the house only.

[00:53:03] So it can come down and ruin everything when there is an inevitable problem.

[00:53:08] It's just like we put the only bathroom in the place to maximize damage from bathroom issues.

[00:53:14] I love it.

[00:53:15] Also just me thinking like my parents are old.

[00:53:17] Be like I have to go to the bathroom.

[00:53:19] Like well you have a journey.

[00:53:23] How are your knees doing?

[00:53:25] Because you'll have to go up a lot of stairs.

[00:53:27] Man the thing that sucks about the boar's head in addition to it being poisoned meat that was made in the dump.

[00:53:32] They just make it in the dump.

[00:53:34] Like they're like inspectors have discovered that the boar's head processing plant is in fact the dump.

[00:53:41] I see a lot of people being like this is so this is just devastating for their brand.

[00:53:46] Because like they were supposed to be the high quality brand.

[00:53:49] And turns out they were actually nasty.

[00:53:52] Wow.

[00:53:52] Just goes to show you can't trust boar's head.

[00:53:55] And I'm like no that's not what it goes to show.

[00:53:56] The cheaper brands are just the jungle.

[00:53:59] Yeah.

[00:53:59] Like you wish they were making Butterfall in the dump.

[00:54:03] Like if they made Butterfall in the dump you'd be like they finally cleaved their act.

[00:54:09] Oh god.

[00:54:10] It's I don't know what I'm gonna do for cold cuts dude.

[00:54:13] I'm gonna not have my turkey sandwiches no more.

[00:54:16] I hate that.

[00:54:17] I like my turkey sandwich.

[00:54:18] Aldi.

[00:54:19] I would trust Aldi because they're not American.

[00:54:23] Yeah.

[00:54:23] I will say though that gay Paris is way better than what you get at Aldi.

[00:54:28] Oh actually.

[00:54:30] As funny as it is to just repeat that joke exactly the same.

[00:54:34] And it was very funny.

[00:54:35] I have to tell you about this story.

[00:54:36] My faux pas.

[00:54:37] I almost forgot to tell you my faux pas.

[00:54:39] Well gimme.

[00:54:40] I mean I want to hear the story because it's like hey do you want to hear a story where I'm embarrassed and stupid?

[00:54:45] Yes obviously.

[00:54:45] That sounds wonderful.

[00:54:47] So who's in Madrid?

[00:54:48] Reason being where Madrid is if we go fly back to the states from Malaga which is the nearest major city from my wife's parents.

[00:55:01] That is gonna suck ass because we have to take a connecting flight which I hate doing.

[00:55:06] There are simply no non-stop flights from Malaga to Chicago because Malaga is simply not notable enough of a city to have non-stop flights from the U.S.

[00:55:14] So we would have to take a connecting flight which sucks ass.

[00:55:17] But Madrid being one of the great capitals of Europe does have non-stop flights to Chicago because everyone wants to go to Madrid.

[00:55:25] And rightly so.

[00:55:26] Madrid is great.

[00:55:28] But here's the other thing that I thought up.

[00:55:30] I did this last time.

[00:55:32] It was the proof of concept last time.

[00:55:34] This was you know the concept continued to be true.

[00:55:38] You take a high speed train from Malaga to Madrid.

[00:55:41] It costs like 100 euros for two people.

[00:55:43] Maybe even less.

[00:55:44] It takes three hours.

[00:55:46] And it's the most incredible experience because you get to be in a train that's going 300 kilometers an hour which is something like 60 miles per hour.

[00:55:55] I don't know the exact conversion.

[00:55:58] But you're going really fast.

[00:55:59] You see the speedometer bump up to 300.

[00:56:04] You see a three in the hundreds place.

[00:56:06] It just feels good.

[00:56:09] And I was like maybe I will see as because Madrid is in the exact center of the country more or less and we're on the southern coast.

[00:56:17] I'm like maybe as I look out on the journey I will be able to see where like the drought stricken south gives way to the still thriving and supporting human life center.

[00:56:33] No, no, dude, no.

[00:56:35] It looked the same the whole time.

[00:56:37] Anyway, we're in Madrid.

[00:56:39] And we're like oh we're so hungry.

[00:56:40] We got to have lunch.

[00:56:41] We got to have lunch.

[00:56:42] It's like 2.30.

[00:56:43] You check into our hotel.

[00:56:45] It's like oh let's find some place to have lunch.

[00:56:46] It's like 3.

[00:56:48] So it's a late lunch.

[00:56:49] And we find an Indian restaurant.

[00:56:51] And I don't know what it is.

[00:56:53] I think it might just be Indian food in general.

[00:56:55] It's just like hard to do bad.

[00:56:58] Like it always tastes great.

[00:57:01] But especially in Spain.

[00:57:02] Like we've never had Indian food in Spain that was not excellent.

[00:57:06] I don't know what it is about that combination.

[00:57:09] But there you go.

[00:57:10] We're like Indian food in Spain.

[00:57:12] Fucking slam dunk.

[00:57:13] Let's do it.

[00:57:14] Let's go.

[00:57:14] Let's do it.

[00:57:17] And so this has been happening all throughout the time we've been in Spain.

[00:57:22] Which is I know enough Spanish to like order at restaurants and shit.

[00:57:26] And understand what they say to me.

[00:57:28] And talk back.

[00:57:30] But also they fucking know I'm American.

[00:57:33] As soon as I open my mouth they hear my fucking accent.

[00:57:36] They know.

[00:57:37] So often they will just switch into English.

[00:57:40] Because it's easier for them.

[00:57:42] And then I'm left in this fucking limbo where I'm like okay I guess we're just doing English now.

[00:57:47] But I still have that sort of like inertia of like you talk Spanish here okay.

[00:57:52] So like I'm switching back and forth in the most awkward way.

[00:57:56] And it's happening even if I'm not switching like what I'm saying.

[00:57:58] My brain is switching back and forth.

[00:58:00] And I'm getting so fucked up.

[00:58:02] And I'm like it is the faux pas machine dude.

[00:58:05] It's like as soon as this happens I'm like I'm going to see something fucking dumb.

[00:58:11] I order a beer with my meal.

[00:58:14] And I also order a dish that is listed on the menu as spicy.

[00:58:20] It says it's like you picante.

[00:58:23] See?

[00:58:23] And I'm like oh si.

[00:58:24] Si picante.

[00:58:26] And something goes and like after that the switch happens.

[00:58:30] Apparently he thinks the Spanish is too fucking difficult to put up with.

[00:58:35] He switches to English.

[00:58:37] And he asks me a question.

[00:58:39] The waiter asked me this question.

[00:58:41] Which is Spanish or Indian?

[00:58:45] And often during this trip when I'm offered a choice between two nationalities.

[00:58:53] What is actually being asked is like French or English.

[00:58:55] Like what do you speak?

[00:58:56] Like what do you want me to say?

[00:58:58] You know do you and like.

[00:59:00] You speak Hindi right?

[00:59:01] Can I switch to Hindi?

[00:59:04] So I know now that he said Spanish or Indian.

[00:59:08] I thought that he was asking Spanish or English.

[00:59:13] Oh and then you said the thing that sounded like Indian to him right?

[00:59:17] No I said English.

[00:59:18] Spanish or Indian.

[00:59:19] I said English.

[00:59:22] English.

[00:59:22] And he just looked at me like what the fuck.

[00:59:24] Because you know what he was actually asking me?

[00:59:26] He was asking me what type of fucking beer.

[00:59:28] Do you want a Spanish beer or an Indian beer?

[00:59:30] And I just said English.

[00:59:33] Which especially to an Indian person.

[00:59:36] Listen if you just bring up England's superiority to them.

[00:59:41] Un-fucking-called for.

[00:59:43] It's like what beer do you want?

[00:59:45] It's like I'd like this.

[00:59:46] I'd actually like the superior English ale.

[00:59:49] It's like oh my god.

[00:59:52] No.

[00:59:53] They thought you.

[00:59:55] You communicated that and that snobbiness was how it came across to them.

[00:59:59] I have no idea how it came across.

[01:00:01] I just know how I felt.

[01:00:03] Which is oh my god.

[01:00:05] That is the worst possible answer in the universe.

[01:00:09] I'm reminded of the 30 Rock joke where it's like Jon Hamm is hot.

[01:00:14] And he doesn't know that like life is harder when you're not beautiful.

[01:00:17] And like one of the things he does at a restaurant.

[01:00:19] He doesn't look at the menu and says can I get Pop-Tarts?

[01:00:24] You were the Pop-Tarts for beer.

[01:00:27] But I do not have Jon Hamm face.

[01:00:30] So uh oh spaghetti.

[01:00:33] He brought me an Indian beer.

[01:00:34] It tasted good.

[01:00:36] What can I say?

[01:00:38] What if you were like I said English and now I'm gonna start making a scene.

[01:00:48] Oh god.

[01:00:49] All that day.

[01:00:50] I was just like having a good time in Madrid.

[01:00:53] Oh shit.

[01:00:54] I just thought about when I said English.

[01:00:56] Oh no.

[01:00:58] English.

[01:01:01] God damn it.

[01:01:02] Indian or Spanish?

[01:01:04] English.

[01:01:06] Which like.

[01:01:07] A third thing that I don't care about.

[01:01:09] Like just like here.

[01:01:12] Like even taking like the oh England has history with India.

[01:01:16] Taking that out of it.

[01:01:17] Just like what the fuck did you just say to me man?

[01:01:20] Like.

[01:01:20] I gave you two choices bitch.

[01:01:23] I even switched to English the language you use.

[01:01:27] Again why would I think he was asking what language?

[01:01:30] We already were speaking English.

[01:01:32] God damn it.

[01:01:33] I'm doing.

[01:01:35] He was saying if you wanted to switch language settings like halfway through the encounter.

[01:01:41] Why would I think that he would think that I spoke Indian?

[01:01:44] Indian isn't even a language.

[01:01:47] There's no.

[01:01:47] Ah.

[01:01:48] Ah.

[01:01:50] Fuck.

[01:01:52] Anyway Madrid's great.

[01:01:53] More so than saying like the wrong thing in a context like this.

[01:01:57] I would probably just say yes after not hearing something.

[01:02:01] And then have to deal with the consequences later.

[01:02:03] And like oh I'm stupid.

[01:02:04] Mm-hmm.

[01:02:05] Another thing that like the reason that my brain was short circuiting is that especially

[01:02:11] in Spain where beer is not the thing they care about.

[01:02:16] It's they care about vino.

[01:02:18] They don't achieve a shit about beer.

[01:02:19] Generally when you order a beer you say cerveza and they just bring you whatever.

[01:02:24] And like if you if there's a specific cerveza that you want you're a fucking freak.

[01:02:30] What are you talking about?

[01:02:31] Like it's fucking like just drink it idiot.

[01:02:35] So I'm so used to just being like cerveza por favor.

[01:02:39] And they bring me a fucking beer and it tastes terrible but it's cold and liquid so I feel happy

[01:02:45] about it.

[01:02:47] But so like whenever I get a follow-up question after my cerveza order when I've all my brain

[01:02:52] has done the like you did it.

[01:02:53] You solve the fucking Spanish puzzle.

[01:02:56] You don't have to fucking talk in Spanish no more.

[01:02:58] And then like oh fuck I have to talk in Spanish again.

[01:03:00] Ah yeah freaking out.

[01:03:02] English or fucking not even English.

[01:03:04] Fucking Spanish or Indian.

[01:03:05] God damn it.

[01:03:06] Ah I'm reliving it again Joe.

[01:03:08] It's like it's happening to me right now.

[01:03:10] Are you getting sweaty palms from embarrassment?

[01:03:13] Like reliving it?

[01:03:15] Yeah.

[01:03:17] Anyway.

[01:03:19] You can get chocolate and churros in Spain.

[01:03:22] It's so good.

[01:03:23] You dip the churros in the chocolate.

[01:03:26] It's like hot chocolate.

[01:03:28] Like it's yummy.

[01:03:29] My favorite churro dip is actually I only had this when I went to Mexico.

[01:03:35] Condensed milk fucking rules as a churro dip.

[01:03:39] Dude yeah.

[01:03:39] I mean the hot chocolate they serve you is very condensed milk coated in especially in

[01:03:45] the consistency.

[01:03:46] Like hot chocolate you think you hear that and you think ah a nice drink to sip.

[01:03:49] This is not a fucking drink.

[01:03:51] There is no drinking involved with this hot chocolate.

[01:03:54] You try to like put this on your lips and have it go.

[01:03:57] Like it's simply too viscous to flow down the human throat.

[01:04:01] And in that way it is much like condensed milk.

[01:04:04] Just put some fucking melt some chocolate into the condensed milk.

[01:04:08] You get this.

[01:04:11] It's one of the things that Spain does I think.

[01:04:14] Like I was saying to my wife like after you know eating in Paris and then also eating in

[01:04:19] Spain I love the food in Spain.

[01:04:23] But like I can tell why French cuisine is the one everyone loves and Spanish cuisine.

[01:04:28] It's like Spanish cuisine is nice.

[01:04:31] Like sorry again the fucking immoral degenerate French who have caused me to become immoral

[01:04:37] gave me COVID and rendered me ineligible for heaven.

[01:04:41] They are right to be smug about their delicious food.

[01:04:45] However they don't do chocolate y churros.

[01:04:50] Spain does.

[01:04:52] That's a big W for Spain.

[01:04:54] So they're about even?

[01:04:56] Yeah.

[01:04:57] I mean they were both colonial powers that did more crime than you or I could even conceive of.

[01:05:03] So yeah I think they're the same.

[01:05:05] Spain's fun though because they were occupied by the Moors for so long.

[01:05:09] It's really funny because like it's like every even even now like the Spanish history that

[01:05:17] you can I you can guess would want to favor the white people because we're the ones that are there now.

[01:05:26] So they're like when Spain was all Andalus and was under the control of the Moors it was a paradise of art and culture and science.

[01:05:36] And then when we conquered it back it became a savage land.

[01:05:44] Evil evil land.

[01:05:46] It became the game blasphemous.

[01:05:48] You ever played that?

[01:05:49] Oh shit dude.

[01:05:50] We went to the fucking National Museum in Madrid because last time I went to Madrid it was New Year's Day and it was fucking closed.

[01:05:58] And there is a room where like this is the room where from like where the painting in Europe went from sort of religious iconography to history.

[01:06:08] And a lot of people would find moments from history they found especially dramatically interesting and they would sort of make their own version.

[01:06:19] They would embellish it and they know how it is.

[01:06:22] So this is just the have you played the fucking game blasphemous because this room is just all paintings that are like oh this is the backstory of blasphemous bosses.

[01:06:32] Yeah so blasphemous is a game about going to church as a Catholic on a regular Sunday.

[01:06:37] Yes pretty much.

[01:06:39] There's one painting in that room that depicts the moment in which a Spanish nobleman decided to give up courtly life in favor of becoming a monk.

[01:06:49] And what is happening is the empress that he served is her funeral would have you.

[01:06:56] She's been transported to this place and it took a long time and they opened the casket and she is a rotting fucking disgusting corpse.

[01:07:06] It's horrific.

[01:07:07] And this man is seeing it and is horrified and you see a little fucking thingy plaque at the bottom of the frame that says in Spanish I will give you the English version.

[01:07:22] Never again never again will I serve a lord who can die.

[01:07:28] And you take that to mean I will serve the lord.

[01:07:31] But like can you can can you not see how with a little bit of twisting that's a blasphemous boss where there's like a little like slave man with a sensor who like works for a big skeleton.

[01:07:45] She she's not even dead.

[01:07:47] She's just like a forever corpse like the 40k.

[01:07:49] Like when he says I will never I will never serve a lord that can die.

[01:07:52] That's like he worships the corpse.

[01:07:56] Yes yes exactly exactly.

[01:07:57] Anyway um I know I said I wouldn't make this like Rick Steves European sicko tour but I did.

[01:08:05] It's been an hour.

[01:08:06] Are we done?

[01:08:07] Yeah we uh we are yeah.

[01:08:09] I mean when I fucking go for two weeks to another ass place what do you want me to do but talk about my little fucking anecdotes for the next week.

[01:08:19] That's like that's like the whole point of going anywhere so you can have little fucking anecdotes.

[01:08:24] You know the point of coming back is and I'm very excited about this is that Tom is watching some Deadwood and I'm very much enjoying and this is the first time he's seen the show.

[01:08:36] So I'm getting it to not right along directly but I'm getting to touch in as he gets uh through it and man I love that fucking show.

[01:08:46] So 2006 we were eating good uh that's when tv really was hidden.

[01:08:50] I can't believe Deadwood and Sopranos were on at the same time.

[01:08:54] I'm really doing like Joe watching Severance in one with Deadwood where I'm just like texting him like Joe you're never gonna believe this.

[01:09:01] I've uncovered an incredible thought.

[01:09:03] I'm about to say something that's never been said.

[01:09:05] This Deadwood show is pretty good.

[01:09:07] Like did you?

[01:09:08] No.

[01:09:08] No it's so good.

[01:09:09] This Al guy is really funny.

[01:09:11] It's like yes he's a wonderfully acted character.

[01:09:15] He's Ian McShane is also the dad from Hot Rod that they're trying to like do stunts for to get money so they can cure his illness so he can finally fight Hot Rod and he can beat up his own dad because he's only lost to his dad.

[01:09:30] Yeah and you can't beat up a sick guy there's no honor in it.

[01:09:33] You have to have him be.

[01:09:34] That's such a fucking good like just central premise.

[01:09:37] You know what it is it's Goku giving Cell a senzu bean.

[01:09:41] This is just shamelessly retweet bait stuff but on the subject of Cell I saw something that was just like so if he ringed out would he laugh at?

[01:09:52] Like when he was taking it seriously and he was actually doing the rules like if Gohan got him to touch the outside with one of his feet would he just go back to space?

[01:10:05] That would have been so fucking funny.

[01:10:07] That's like a one punch man premise.

[01:10:11] Yes.

[01:10:12] Obviously it wouldn't be Saitama who made him do that because if Saitama was in a fight with anyone he would win in one punch there would be no ring out to be done.

[01:10:22] But like that's so like those dumb little edge cases are so you know what that like that's you know what it is the main appeal of Hunter x Hunter especially Hunter x Hunter's dumb ass power system of Nen is that like it is the power system that puts front and center.

[01:10:43] What if like what if this dumb fucking edge case happened and it's the only series that is like let's go there.

[01:10:51] Let's do the dumb edge cases because every other one is just like let's use the power in the most obvious way for a big flashy move.

[01:10:59] And like I understand the appeal of that.

[01:11:02] Yeah but what if a power was an mp3 player that let you borrow someone else's power when you asked them nicely and you were aligned.

[01:11:10] You haven't put out anybody yet.

[01:11:13] And it's just like is you playing that song?

[01:11:17] Is you playing that album on the mp3 player required for the power to work?

[01:11:22] And he's like I don't think so.

[01:11:24] I just love this music.

[01:11:26] Yes it is.

[01:11:26] I just love this music and I know that the album is exactly as long as I'm allowed to use the power.

[01:11:33] So I will always know if I'm close to it running out.

[01:11:38] And like oh my.

[01:11:40] Well no you know when you put it that way it makes a lot of sense.

[01:11:44] Logically it all fits.

[01:11:46] God damn it.

[01:11:47] That's really the actual power system in Hunter x Hunter which is just like you are assaulted with insane information and you are just like fine.

[01:11:56] Yes I guess on its terms it makes sense.

[01:11:58] Yes you're right.

[01:11:59] I will admit this.

[01:12:00] Yes.

[01:12:02] The goth lady has a vacuum that can suck up anything.

[01:12:05] Fine.

[01:12:06] Yes.

[01:12:06] Why her clothes fell off.

[01:12:08] That's weird.

[01:12:09] Yeah I forgot why that happened.

[01:12:11] Then there's the guy who's a mummy who can box and you think like this guy's got a boxing and or Egypt.

[01:12:17] Themed power.

[01:12:18] But what it really is that he's got a bunch of holes in him and if he like spins around he can use his holes as fucking like a he's like a human flute.

[01:12:27] And he can play Holst's planet suite and he can like make Jupiter shoot down because of the sounds he makes with his holes.

[01:12:36] What is the boxing glove purpose?

[01:12:38] I think he just likes it.

[01:12:39] I think this is cool.

[01:12:40] It looks cool.

[01:12:41] That's pretty much about as good as a reason to do anything.

[01:12:44] It looks cool.

[01:12:45] I mean these guys you gotta have style.

[01:12:50] You know what we should probably do is read the manga after the anime leaves off.

[01:12:59] They're on a boat for a hundred years.

[01:13:01] It's not a critique.

[01:13:02] I just know that's part of it.

[01:13:03] And also especially because I mean like one chapter comes out a year so like a hundred chapters really would be a hundred years.

[01:13:09] I do know I have read the mechanics of the fight between Hisoka and Chrollo because I've read that.

[01:13:19] It's so fucking good.

[01:13:21] I'll just.

[01:13:22] All right.

[01:13:22] Wait.

[01:13:23] How much time?

[01:13:23] Time do we have?

[01:13:24] We have infinite time.

[01:13:26] We answered in none.

[01:13:29] Sure.

[01:13:30] How do I even start with this fight?

[01:13:32] Basically.

[01:13:34] Chrollo's power.

[01:13:36] He has.

[01:13:36] Well he has a bunch of powers because he collects them.

[01:13:38] In like his book.

[01:13:40] But anyway.

[01:13:41] What ends up happening.

[01:13:42] Like the final thing of the fight is.

[01:13:44] Not even the final thing.

[01:13:45] But like the last phase if it were a video game is basically Chrollo like takes over everyone in the crowd.

[01:13:54] Like he can make people be marionettes and he makes can also make them explode.

[01:13:59] And he's just like throwing basically making the crowd like suicide run at Hisoka who gets blown up.

[01:14:06] By which I mean like he's like fucking dead.

[01:14:08] Like his face goes away.

[01:14:09] His arms get blown off.

[01:14:11] He's like dead dead dead.

[01:14:13] He fucking dies.

[01:14:13] And then he gets put together by the hot lady who can heal afterwards.

[01:14:18] But like.

[01:14:21] Before he dies.

[01:14:22] They take you through his like.

[01:14:24] This is my.

[01:14:26] Thinking plan of how I will react to this crazy bomb clone problem.

[01:14:31] And it's like four pages of diagrams and text.

[01:14:34] And he still dies.

[01:14:35] He still eats shit.

[01:14:36] This is why this is.

[01:14:37] Like this is.

[01:14:40] Even if you don't like Hunter x Hunter.

[01:14:42] If it's not for you.

[01:14:43] You have to respect.

[01:14:45] Like no one's doing it like this.

[01:14:48] Like.

[01:14:48] And also like it.

[01:14:49] The world is better for someone doing this.

[01:14:52] Because like again.

[01:14:53] This is people being like.

[01:14:54] What if this happened?

[01:14:55] Like what if actually.

[01:14:56] Like we got a little more technical.

[01:14:59] And like really dug in.

[01:15:00] Oh but they'd never do that.

[01:15:02] Because it's like.

[01:15:02] Oh it kills the pacing.

[01:15:04] It'd just be four minutes.

[01:15:05] And it'd just be four pages of like text and diagrams.

[01:15:08] They'd never do that.

[01:15:09] But wouldn't it be interesting?

[01:15:10] And someone is just like.

[01:15:11] Yeah would be.

[01:15:12] I don't give a fuck about the pacing.

[01:15:13] Yeah you.

[01:15:14] Fuck pace.

[01:15:15] The pacing doesn't matter if it.

[01:15:16] If the chart is cool enough.

[01:15:18] It's like.

[01:15:19] Um actually this is bad cartooning.

[01:15:21] Because comics is a visual medium.

[01:15:23] And it's not just about text.

[01:15:24] Like shut the fuck up.

[01:15:25] What do you know?

[01:15:26] Have you written Yu Yu Hocko Show?

[01:15:27] Show me his decision tree in this fight.

[01:15:30] Like show me it.

[01:15:32] Like with words.

[01:15:34] Anyway.

[01:15:36] Okay I got.

[01:15:37] I'm getting tired.

[01:15:38] Let's wrap it up.

[01:15:39] I'm tired as well.

[01:15:40] Let's do it.

[01:15:42] We'll be back with an episode that's not about the trip I took.

[01:15:45] Soon.

[01:15:46] Did you know that you should be buying that shirt from anime sicko.com slash store?

[01:15:50] Well here I am reminding you again.

[01:15:52] I think that's all.

[01:15:53] Bye bye.

[01:15:54] I've been Tom and Anime Sicko.

[01:15:55] I've been Joe and Anime Sicko.

[01:15:57] We'll see you next time.

[01:15:58] We love you.

[01:15:59] Bye.

[01:16:01] Thank you for listening to Anime Sickos.

[01:16:04] I've been Tom.

[01:16:05] A sicko.

[01:16:06] You can follow me on Twitter at TomHarrison19.

[01:16:08] Joe is also a sicko.

[01:16:10] You can follow him on Twitter at ShariaUncle.

[01:16:13] You can follow Anime Sickos on Twitter at AnimeSickos.

[01:16:16] Or email us at AnimeSickos at gmail.com.

[01:16:19] Please leave us a review or something.

[01:16:21] I don't know.

[01:16:22] Tell a friend.

[01:16:23] Anyway.

[01:16:24] Until next time.

[01:16:25] Bye.