214: Posting Strikes Back

[00:00:28] It's the podcast for geniuses and the only podcast where we look at the four pillars of modern misery, anime, gaming, posting, and jobs. I am Tom, an anime sicko. I am Joe, an anime sicko. We got a special treat, a delightful foregone flavor we thought would never return. But before we get to that, we have two patrons we have to thank for giving us money.

[00:00:53] It's so good to get money, especially because of all the circumstances. Our first giver of money, patron you might call them, is Dr. Octorine. Thank you, doctor. Thank you, Doc Ock, for your five American dollars? It sure looks like it. Cool. I'm not being xenophobic about money, I'm just clarifying. Yeah. I am! I hate all other money. I hate all money. Canada's got a goose on that.

[00:01:23] Okay, I love Canada. That's just a noble thing. That's why Trump wants to buy Canada. Fuck all those geese coins. Goose coin. Oh my God, his big, his Trump rug pull coin, the reason he did the rug pull was because he realized there's no goose on it, so he's like, yeah, pull that rug. I don't know what rug pull means other than like, it's when the chumps get scammed. Is it even a rug pull if it's like clearly an open bag with a dollar sign on it from the jump?

[00:01:50] Like, is that really a rug pull that, uh, it's just like you please put the bribes here. It, I do not fucking understand and I never care to learn how these crypto people, like what is the judgment going through their minds being like, well, the last one million meme coins have been absolute fucking nothing frauds. Yeah, I mean, I lost big on the hawk to a coin, you know, so. Yeah. But this one's gonna be real. Anyway, you know what?

[00:02:18] We're never gonna pull the rug because we don't have a rug. Uh, so you can patronize us just like our second new patron Dalton Chu is. That's chu like what you do with your mouth to food. Dalton Chu. Wonderful. Thank you, Dalton. You have the same name as, uh, the guy from Roadhouse and also the comedy, comically incompetent second in command from the kingdom of zeal from Chrono Trigger. Oh, he laughs as everything burns around.

[00:02:47] Not in like a joker way, like he's just doing a bad job. Yeah, he tries to steal the fucking car, dude. You, you can't let him do that. Uh, the car goes through time. Anyway, I made an illusion. First of all, sorry, thank you to our patrons again and you can patronize us at patreon.com slash anime say goes. I always forget to say that. Who cares? The thing that I alluded to the once great taste that we thought we would never sample again.

[00:03:16] Talking about a posting episode. We thought we were done with posting episodes on account of Twitter stopped being fun in a huge way. A spiral of anti-life. Really anti-spiral. It was just no good. Uh, it sucks to look at. And Blue Sky now also sucks to look at, but it... We have posts. It sucks to look at in a familiar way. It's not exactly the same as we knew it. We knew that would happen.

[00:03:45] You know, it can never, nothing can ever be recreated exactly as it was, you know. Certain circumstances that we can't possibly know the significance of shape events in ways we can never understand. But, Blue Sky, which, you know, previously was a fun little diversion that we're like, oh, maybe this is okay. That shit's making insane posts constantly.

[00:04:10] And the cost-benefit analysis of finding insane posts on Blue Sky is such that, like, it's worth doing for an episode in the way it was not worth doing for Twitter. Because, like, you're gonna see some shit on Blue Sky that's gonna make you very frustrated and go, ah! But you aren't gonna see someone being like, I like it when these people get their heads chopped off and then there's a video of it happening. Um, that's not there.

[00:04:40] That is on Twitter. So... So we're back. Let's talk about the computer, Tom, and the words on there. Yeah. I was talking to you about this, because this is gonna be a big theme of what we discussed today. Which was, I have this feeling, and I don't know if it's true, you know, feelings, facts don't care about your feelings. Famously. So I don't know if it's a fact.

[00:05:02] But I have a feeling that Blue Sky's big innovation in the insane posting arena is that, like, the new apex predator in this ecosystem is the pedantic replier. In a way that, I mean, there are always pedantic repliers, but, like, they are the big game in town. Why are they the big fish? I don't know. It doesn't... It's so weird.

[00:05:32] Do they like... Like, do they think they're, like, of adding value? Like, they get yelled at every time they do it. I think a huge part of this is just driven by the fact that, I don't know if this is TikTok brain or whatever, but maybe from just being used to just swiping to the next piece of content, they think the discover feed is, like, served up for them one at a time, and they should respond to everything.

[00:05:57] Because I've looked at people replying, and, like, they are just going sometimes through the discover feed, which is just a deranged way to use it. And this is a very important thing that you need to tell everyone, because it's a huge public service, and everyone will say, Tom, you're a genius. You can make the discover feed go away. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. I couldn't believe it when I... Because I was going nuts looking at the discover feed because it was so fucking bad.

[00:06:26] There is... I forget how you do it. You know, let me open up Blue Sky so I can actually walk you through the steps, because this is so important, folks. If you go on Blue Sky, there's a... On the bar on the left, there's a thing that's called feeds. You're going to want to go to feeds. You're going to see the discover feed that's on your my feeds. You're going to want to click on it, and it's going to open up a new page, and it's going to be the discover feed. You know, it's going to have all the fucking posts that you hate.

[00:06:52] If you look up at the top, at the top of the fucking receipt paper where the posts live, right in the middle, the middle column, the top of the middle column, on the right, there's going to be a little thumbtack icon. You're going to want to click that and make that shit go a fucking way. To put it simpler, clicking on the pin kills it. Click on the pin. Because it's pinned by default. You don't want that shit. It sucks at...

[00:07:19] So, okay, I think that is, Joe, that you have hit upon, I think, the key of what these pedantic repliers... Why they're so endemic. Because us geniuses who are from Twitter, Twitter natives, who are funny and good and have a podcast... No fault. Perfect people. Genius people. We understand that when you post, what you're doing is you are with your buds. You're like hanging out at the spot. And you're just like, hey, listen to this.

[00:07:49] And you tell a little joke and everyone goes, haha, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's the game, okay? The people who are going through and responding to everything in the Discover tab, I think TikTok brain is a good way to put it. Because with TikTok, there's really a feeling and it's presented as though everything you're seeing is like a performer has put out their latest piece.

[00:08:16] You know, like someone is like, I am a content creator on TikTok and this is my new thing. And they're not all, you know, front-facing camera videos, but those do also have a very one-on-one feel. Whereas like a message is like this is something that is not broadcasted, but sent out to other people. Someone looking at you in the eyes is just like, this is for me only. Yeah.

[00:08:42] Also, I think the framing of the person as a performer, I think, does a lot of it because that's something that if you're on a fucking Twitter clone, if you're doing short form text microblogging, you are not a performer. Like that is not like, I don't want to review. Your time machine's fucked up. Don't do that. Yeah. You're not like, you can look at all the 2015 line break jokes about politics. They will make you feel like shit.

[00:09:11] That will give you the resolve you need to not do that anymore. What was the one that was like at the time everyone was like, this is so good. It was like Owen Erickson or some shit. Owen Ellickson. Owen Ellickson. And like fine at the time it was perfectly fine. But it's again, one of those things where it was something in a point in time. And like now you can only see its agedness that makes you feel sinned.

[00:09:38] I, okay, I gotta say this about Owen Ellickson because it's very easy and accurate to look at that big long series of tweets he did where he was doing like line break fucking screenplay. Yeah, it's like every member of the Trump cabinet or person in orbit. Yes. Yes, yes. And it is cringe. It is lame in retrospect, but I do have to give him my deep respect.

[00:10:08] Because when Trump won, and prior to this, he was like, I'm gonna publish a book of the Trump tweets. Ha ha. Read, get by my book. When Trump won, he was just like, I've made a huge mistake. The book's canceled and I'm deleting all these tweets. I'm not doing it anymore. What's really sad about that is that if he didn't have convictions, that was the time for the book. Mm-hmm. I respect him greatly for that.

[00:10:37] Yeah. I mean, he would be that, if he didn't do that move, he would become the lip syncing woman. I forget her name because she had no act other than lip syncing, which is not valuable as a performance. Anyway, we've been, we gotta get to the actual insane posts. Our first insane post is a pedantic replier, would you believe it? Uh, the original poster is NerdJPG.

[00:11:07] This is, uh, this is someone who got a Kirby as their avatar. You'll see NerdJPG all over. They're posting 24 hours a day. They say this, Girlfriend walked over to me, said, Communion time! And placed a white chocolate melting wafer on my tongue. That's, that's like, oh, that's a fine enough post. That's like a, that, that's a line drive single. That's kind of funny.

[00:11:38] What does our man Jack2011 say in response to that? Coming in immediately with white chocolate is not chocolate. So obviously all of the violence in something like Robocop is supposed to be over the top, a gratuitous representation of American violence. But like, it should happen to this type of person. He should get his dick shot off for sure. Bam! By Robocop. Uh, everyone would cheer.

[00:12:07] And speaking of everyone cheer, uh, the peanut gallery, NerdJPG does not chime back in as they, they are correct not to because this is not worth there or anyone's time. But the peanut gallery starts yelling at the pedantic replier as is customary. Which again, I don't think this is a, usually it's like, why is this person saying something that, that gets yelled at them all the time? And the answer is it's humiliation fetish. I don't think that works for the pedantic repliers because like, they're not notable. They're not getting it in scale, you know?

[00:12:36] It's the people who are like media entities who are constantly saying stuff to get yelled at. It's like, okay, that's a humiliation fetish because like, you're making it your life. Anyway, peanut gallery says, Hey, consider eating shit and shutting the fuck up actually. Well, Jack2011 responds, Man, you are so angry. And another peanut gallery person says, Well, most people aren't thrilled into being friendly when they don't actually know you

[00:13:05] and you pop into their replies with an annoying, Well, actually. So maybe keep that in mind for the future. And then this is where Jack2011 really goes galaxy brain. He replies with one word and a question mark, context. And it puts us at a fork in the road because it's either this is just like a truly evil person dropping this.

[00:13:30] Or like we like what was described to him in the previous post was the context like 100% like that. She did. The previous poster did a wonderful job explaining kind of what was happening, why he's being told to eat shit. Like it's a really nice blueprint. You did X. People are reacting with Y. And that's why. Contact. It's just like,

[00:13:59] Can you what context? So the one word contact with a question mark is like a killer annoying guy deflection move. You see it a lot. You see it a lot. An annoying guy is getting owned and they're just like context, which both punts the ball, you know, it buys them time and also makes makes everyone else look like they're not doing debate club. Right. And so this guy's the genius for knowing the debate club rules. Yeah.

[00:14:27] Oh, you guys weren't clear. I asked context about a bunch of assume things that a child would understand. And now you have to waste time explaining them to me using puppets because you're stupid. But usually, usually when that tactic gets implemented, it's about something else. You know, it's like about politics or it's about some other disco. It's like context. Like, buddy, you're the context is your life. Like, it's you. You're the one.

[00:14:57] Love this guy. Context. Oh, God damn. You know, this is another thing. This is we're going to come up on this later in this episode. I really hope we have time to actually get to this. If not, it's coming in the next insane post episode.

[00:15:16] But something I absolutely love is, you know, when there's a pedantic replier, the thing that tends to happen is everyone starts yelling at them and dunking on them with their most hilarious burns. And generally, this makes the pedantic replier go. And that's, you know, further dunking material.

[00:15:37] What I always wonder is like, what if you in like really good faith and without any judgment, like explained the deal to them? Like, would they know? Like, would they get it then if they weren't reacting to an insult and were instead were like understood what was happening here?

[00:15:57] If we took the time and pulled them into a different room, showed them the charts, showed them the diagrams, showed them the transcript of what they said and how people responded, including like with the proper faces for how the emotions of those statements resonated with the speaker. Just like really lay it out. Context? Yeah. They don't. They don't. The answer is, folks, with extremely rare exceptions, so rare as to be statistical outliers, it should not be counted. They don't.

[00:16:27] They don't. Uh, next, these are two posts that came out in the same day, January 2nd, 2025. Getting the new year off to a great start. These are our, uh, obligatory sex posts. I'm gonna read the first one out for you. This is from a guy called The Lost Paladin. So you know he's got powers. There was, uh, I believe the context, which is now lost because this guy has deleted the post all I have as a screenshot.

[00:16:54] The context I was, I believe, uh, they were dunking on this guy for being a lib or something. And he was trying to prove his socialist bona fides, saying like, I'm actually, you can't say I'm not left. And this is his proof. Quote, My mom was a union organizer for 25 years. I walked picket lines of wildcat strikes with her. We used to run bake sales and trivia nights to support striking workers.

[00:17:24] Now this is where you should end the tweet, personally. He continues, You wouldn't survive three seconds in her vagina. It would shrivel up what's left of your balls. Now this is where I would end the tweet again. If I couldn't have- You had two offers. I missed both of them. I miss her terribly. I miss her and her ball shriveling so terribly.

[00:17:51] So, this is a wonderful example of a common issue in rhetoric. I got to teach this when I taught. This came up a lot, which is like, something you want to avoid in an argument is in the process of laying out or establishing your ethos. Don't just start saying sex shit for no reason. Uh, it's confusing. It's off-putting. Uh, uh, my mom was a union organizer. I did all these things.

[00:18:20] Uh, this is what my dick looks like. Like, it just, it, uh, I don't know. It also leads me to believe that part of union organizing is everyone had a chill in her mom's pussy. And I, like, I know that's not the case, but like, why are you saying it?

[00:18:37] It's like, every essay you got handed in was like, the assignment was like, oh, please, uh, make a persuasive essay about why, uh, school should start later instead of early. And, uh, it's like, everyone's second paragraph was like, furthermore, my mom's got that gorilla grip. Um, yeah. Uh, it's just like a weird thing to volunteer, uh, to show like coolness.

[00:19:05] I also don't understand what it's supposed to be getting across because the beginning of this is, again, just like you think that I'm some lib, but like I've walked the walk a lot more than you have. Like, this is. The mom could have a killer puss, like, irrespective of all the organizing. Yes. They are not related. Biologically, they do not have an impact on each other. There's been many studies done about this. Yes. Yes. And also like, why would I not survive?

[00:19:35] Like, what did that mean? Why is your mom Jabbar? Mom Jabbar. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's fucked up. Um, that's all that can be said about that. The next sex tweet, Joe, do you want to read this one or shall I? Uh, I'll, I'll read this one. This one's good. I still don't know how to be good at sex. I just put my little man in there and spam random shit and she comes off in multiple times, shrugging emoji. I just spam random shit.

[00:20:04] I just spam shit, dude. I just get in there. Don't overthink it. See, I don't even know what to say about this because like, obviously it's ridiculous. But like, I don't even know if I want to make fun because like, I just kind of like that this is around as something that someone said. He's succeeding. Like, it's not a failure. If he's, if he is telling the truth, which it's not unthinkable to think that someone would say this and it'd be fictitious.

[00:20:34] But assuming he's telling the truth, I mean, button mash, people can get mad at video game players for button mashing. You're not actually learning the game. You're not actually engaging with the design. Okay, but you kind of get up the ladder a little bit though, you know? It's like, if you win, if you got over 50% win rate with your button mashing, like, I don't know, man. I mean, maybe you need to button mash a little better. Maybe you need to put, my little man.

[00:21:02] That, okay, that's the reason it's so good. I put my little man in and spam random shit. Like he's driving in like a Fortnite round. Like, I mean, we're going to talk about this later, but like, there is an art to putting the sexual experience into language in a way that is evocative and interesting. Absolutely true. Cock is too much for many circumstances.

[00:21:29] It's like, it's just, it doesn't match normally. Yeah, this guy gets it. He like really hits it. Yeah. I put my little man in and spam random shit. Love it. Next up. Oh, we were talking about that crypto shit. We got to talk about the Hawk to a coin. This is by some fucking guy. Hi, Haley Welch X. This is on X, everything I have, hence that.

[00:21:57] My $35,000 that I purchased of dollar sign Hawk is now $2,000 after 10 minutes of buying. I am a huge Hawk to a fan, but you took my life savings. I purchased your coin dollar sign Hawk that you were so excited about with my life savings and children's college education fund as well. You did, and then basically like, I didn't know that you would rug pull me. I'm sad.

[00:22:50] And there are many like this, which is, I don't have any money now. Mr. Musk or Hawk to a just wanted to say just it's assumed, but I just want to reiterate big fan of the show and your work. Like, please unsteal my dollars. Yeah. I'm a big, I'm a huge fan of Hawk to a like, does that mean?

[00:23:14] Is he think her name is Hawk to a or is he like, I'm a big fan of talking about dick sucking? Like, it's actually, it's basically like Gore Vidal, man. Yeah. This one, when fucking Sam Alito was like, does Pornhub have articles? Like, oh, well, you can probably put Hawk to a on there. You might write the words somewhere. And that's like an article. I do.

[00:23:44] You can't imagine moving 35 G's into the Hawk coin, especially. He says that was my life savings and children's college education fund. Dude, imagine you have 35 K to your name only. And you're like, you know what I need to do is make a really risky investment with all of it. And also consider assuming it is a college fund and not just like money he has sitting in a savings account that's earmarked for college.

[00:24:13] Like it's like an investment that he is now removed from the market. Okay. So like, yes, obviously he lost all his money. But then also like, it's not just that money is gone. The future earnings of that are gone as well, which normally not a big like, won't someone think of the returns? But it's for actually your children's fucking school. Yes.

[00:24:39] Like you could put that shit in an index fund and you wouldn't have the magical returns you would if you guessed right on a meme coin. But like, it wouldn't go down. Also, you can't guess right on a meme coin unless you start the meme coin. Well, yes. This is why these guys are idiots. It's like you want to be buying Joe coin. I want to be saying Joe coin is now available. Yes, that's a good point.

[00:25:08] Well, I think the fact is that the Hawk coin was uniquely well, much like the Trump coin, actually not uniquely. But they both are positioned in a very good way to trick Rubes. Because the only person who's going to be a huge fan of Hawk Tua is a huge Roop. Because like, I really can't get around that phrasing. I'm a huge fan of Hawk Tua.

[00:25:34] Like, you're a huge fan of how she answered an interview question once. Like that. Huh? Huh? I mean, I am a huge fan. We said this before. If, okay, let's say everything resulting from her interview and resulting podcast was organic and not AstroTurf. That's pretty funny. Like, that's just objectively funny. Yes. But then if you're like, I don't know, I think there was money involved.

[00:26:03] Like, there was AstroTurfing money involved. And it's like, well, that's unfortunately even fucking funnier. Yes. Because they are trying to make some... Do you see how many dollars are going to make the blowjob thing happen? That's wonderful. I think it's a little column A, a little column B. I truly think that the beginning was totally organic and she was going to have 15 minutes of fame regardless.

[00:26:29] But there is definitely some behind the scenes pushing because, unfortunately, a blonde white woman who openly talks about wanting to sexually service men is conservative coded. So there you go. So that's going to be... And Dasha was the first guest, too. I think it's a Theel thing, too. Ooh, that's bad. Well, okay.

[00:26:58] Two things about the Hawk Tua that we have to... We're going to move past this. But I want to talk about two things. The first, I could not believe. And I checked like five times because I thought that I was getting it wrong. So her real name is Haley Welch. That's a normal name. Nothing wrong with that. But then I noticed that it was not spelled how I thought. And I kept checking. I went on Wikipedia and I'm like, did someone change...

[00:27:26] Did some, like, joker make an edit that hasn't gotten fucking corrected yet? Her name is spelled H-A-L-I-E-Y. Haley. Haley. Haley. I think this is a... A Mandela effect. I really... Like, this is Berenstain Bears. Haley Welch the bear who sucks bear dick. Wow. It's insane.

[00:27:56] So that's that. Her name... Go look this up. I'm not fucking lying. I bet you didn't notice. It's like how sometimes Che's Lounge is Che's Longue. Did you know that? Can you believe that? No. The other thing is, I always am thinking, like, you know, she got big because she was interviewed on one of those man-on-the-street interview shows where these guys shove microphones into the faces of drunk children.

[00:28:23] And you know that they do that because they think that that's gonna be lucrative for them. You know, if I get someone saying a funny answer, that I'm, like, set. And no. Because no one fucking remembers them. They remember... No one says, I'm a huge fan of those two guys on the street asking people things. They say, I'm a huge fan of Hawk Tua. So I actually looked into who they are and what they're doing. And I found their Twitter page.

[00:28:50] They are called Tim and D TV. And, Joe, can you describe the big banner at the very top of their Twitter page? The first thing you see when you go on Tim and D TV on XE Everything app. How's that? What's this look like? It's the Hawk Truth.

[00:29:13] It's two guys hanging out in front of a hanging light bulb because they have the light of the truth with them. They are sitting in front of a cork board with a piece of paper tacked up that says the truth. Another piece of paper tacked up that is a photo of Hayley Welsh. The TikTok logo. And then also a yellow post-it that says views.

[00:29:42] And these four things are all connected with the red thread. Their entire life now is desperately, sweatily coping. Trying to convince people that Hawk Tua is an ungrateful B word. And that actually, you have to like us now.

[00:30:08] Once you see the truth, you'll realize that you're obligated to like us. All their posts are being sad that the Hawk Truth video on YouTube is being shadow banned. Because the tweet announcing the Hawk Truth video has 1.1 million impressions. But there's only 100k views on the YouTube video. Bruh, something ain't adding up. Is someone on the Hawk Tua girl team paying y'all not to push our video?

[00:30:37] The video, I watched only an autoplaying clip that showed up on their Twitter. Because I did not care to watch anymore. More, their big gotcha moment that proves that Hawk Tua girl is an evil B word. So they have a clip of her saying how when she first got famous from saying the blowjob sound. She was like, ah, geez, my life's blowing up. I wish this wasn't happening. Ah, God, why did I talk to those guys?

[00:31:06] This is what I get for running my big mouth. But then once she realized that she would get a lot of fucking money, she was like, actually, this is not so bad. You know what? Thinking back on it now, I'd do it again. And they replay her saying, I'd do it again in various levels of slow-mo. And the slow-mo really makes her accent go nutty. And the top comment, of course, is never bite the hand that fed you. This is so fucking pathetic.

[00:31:35] I'm Team Hawk Truth, though. Oh, you are? How so? Tell me, tell me. I just like when anyone has a grievance that has a lot of wind-up to explain. It really does. I do. Because, like, I don't even, again, I didn't watch the video because I don't fucking want to. But, like, what is their, she was on their show. Like, she did say Hawk Tua on their show.

[00:32:04] Do they think that she's, like, an employee of theirs still? This is just the fundamental, like, why did they blow up when we made it happen? But also, like, again, it happened because of the person, not because of the people who asked them and teed up the question. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And also, the question wasn't even, like, the question was, as I recall, like, what's the move in bed that always works?

[00:32:30] And it's like, that's, that's like, fuck, the newlywed game was already doing that. Let's not, you are not adding anything new to the table. It just, I mean, the main point of this is don't think that being a man on the street interviewer is gonna make you famous. And the whole point is finding someone more interesting than you. Uh, let's move on. Uh, this is a short-ish thread about dirtbag culture. Uh, lamenting the loss of it.

[00:33:00] Uh, specifically about how, like, you could be a cheap scumbag in the early 2000s and just get by. You know, that was a lifestyle that could be achieved. And I want to read this because there's a thing in it that I think is very funny. Yeah. Overall, I think this thread is right on the money. But when Joe showed it to me, I too came across that, the line. And did a big ha-ha. This is by Poster Chloe Lum.

[00:33:30] Compulsiveobserver.bluesky.social Dirtbag life was a source of so much culture, so many books, albums, exhibitions, shows, tours, parties. It's gone, and I mourn it. Dirtbag life allowed my working-class self to make art and music full-time, and I despair the youth will never get to experience it, and I feel bad for my students. Dirtbag life may set me and my partner behind a bit financially and professionally. Creatively, it was everything. Uh, once it became clear that the rent was always going to go up,

[00:34:00] that our older dirtbag friends were getting evicted or even dying, we went back to school and professionalized. Pause. This is, this is where you would think. You're about to hear about when the life of the artist making suboptimal financial decisions in favor of an art life. This is when I became a public accountant. Yeah, yeah, this is when they're gonna go corporate.

[00:34:27] So in what way did the art punk go corporate, Joe? Got our MFA. Got our MFA! MFA's. There are so many people I know who have MFA's, and I could not in a million years call what they are experiencing as a professionalization of what they were before. Yes. I'm, to be clear, happy that this person, I agree with everything that's being said here. You should be able to just like

[00:34:57] live cheaply and make art, and like the way you make it happen is you live like a scumbag. Like you can make it work. It should be an option. I totally get that. If you are willing to accept sleeping in a fucking dangerous hovel with ten other people and eating fucking trash for every meal, you should, the reward should be you get to, you have fucking time. Yeah, you are doing it in service of something. Hell yeah,

[00:35:26] you should be able to do that. It's just because as someone who's worked at a corporate environment for a long time now, it's just like MFA is like a joke. Not to say it shouldn't be. Someone who's worked at a corporate environment for a long time, an MFA, in terms of the soulless eyes of capital, an MFA is nothing. It's not professionalization. I was really expecting like, yeah, we did med school. We did patent law. Like just,

[00:35:56] just, just something. I saw the writing on the wall and I saw that my life as a small time dirtbag artist is coming to an end. Now, I do the same thing but in a classroom. If you rewrote the whole original post replaced dirtbag life with MFA life, it still tracks. And again, I'm not saying this to be dismissive. It's, it, to get an MFA you have to do this too.

[00:36:26] Yes. I, I want to be clear. Yes, I agree with everything in this thread and it's very well said. It's just that, like, and it's just made even better by that line catching you off guard. It just kind of has like, and I finally figured out in order to be safe in this bitch of a world I had to do clown school. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh God. Okay. That was a good one. Let's move on. Okay, next up. Oh, this one's, this one's bad. This is a,

[00:36:56] um, this is straight up just a screenshot from a periodical. Which periodical? I forgot to note it, but, well, let's go. This is about Tom Hanks. The actor Tom Hanks. You know him. He's so lovable. For someone like Hanks, AI could enable him to take on roles for which he had long assumed he was too old. Quote, if it's possible for me to play a younger person than I am, I read stuff all the time and I think, oh man, I'd kill to play this role, but I'm 68. I'd kill to play Iago,

[00:37:25] but I can't because Iago's in his 20s. I'd do it in a heartbeat. Editorial parentheticals here. Pity the poor 20-something actors shut out from playing Iago by Tom Hanks, by an ageless Tom Hanks, rather. When AI evangelists talk about its capacity to empower artists, this is the kind of thing they mean, though Hanks' experience have compelled him to contemplate some morbid implications. They can go off and make movies starring me for the next 122 years if they want. He acknowledged, should they legally be allowed to? What happens to my estate? Far from being appalled

[00:37:55] by the notion, though, he sounds ready to sign all the necessary paperwork. Listen, let's figure out the language right now. Grim! Listen, let's figure out the language as we go is a horror story. It's absolutely a horror story. And I think Hanks here is a really important type of person because it's not, there are a lot of people who are excited about AI because they're like, finally we can get rid of people who make art and just generally immiserate people and remove humanity, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:38:26] His answer here is like golden retriever enthusiasm in the context of like his life as an actor. So like he's being told like, yeah, you can, you'll be able to be any, you can do roles you wouldn't be able to, yada, yada, yada. And like, you don't think too much about it. You're like, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. And the issue is when the golden retriever is like someone like this, a well-loved actor that everyone knows, it's just got a little more juice.

[00:38:56] Do you see how it's just scarier? A low information rube sees America's dad be like, you know, there's something to this AI stuff. I'm not going to say no to it. I can see the appeal. And they're going to be like, he sees the appeal. I guess there's an appeal. The only correct move that has been done by a celebrity related to any recent technology advances was Richard Karn being like, I am bumping the brakes on my NFT. I look into this.

[00:39:25] This shit sucks. I am sorry that I've lost your respect as the guy from Home Alone. Not Home Alone, fucking Home Improvement. I'm sorry. No one should be in Home Alone. He'd be so good in Home Alone. Yeah. Oh my God. He's so underrated. When he was on Detroiters, when he was hosting the award show for commercials in Detroit, he's great. Yeah. What was, there was one where he's like,

[00:39:55] you know, the producers told me I couldn't sing tonight. And he gives this look and he's like, yeah, right. And he starts singing. So good. Anyway, that's Richard Karn. We were talking about Richard Karn. Next post. Oh, this one's great. This is from Matt Nissell on X the Everything app. Now, I understand there's value in the COVID bell ringer. The person who's like,

[00:40:25] it's not gone. Don't say, it's gone. Don't pretend it didn't happen. Don't pretend it's not having effects now still because that's true and we need people saying that because society at large is trying to make you think that COVID went away and it didn't even really happen actually. It never happened and no one died and there are no lingering effects. So, so it is useful to have people who are like, remember, it's still around, still dangerous. I don't think

[00:40:53] that this is the correct way to do that though because this is his illustrative example of how COVID is still around. Just got home from a visit with five friends. No alcohol atholved. One shat himself. One couldn't hold a thought for more than 30 seconds. One started uncontrollably sobbing. One arrived saying their partner's at home

[00:41:23] sick as a dog and one fell over bending down. So, yeah, SARS, by here, by SARS he means COVID. Yeah, SARS is mild and it's over. Okay, if it is COVID, why are you meeting up? Also, everyone is acting like a different sim that has had a different bar drained completely. There's just a guy standing in a piss puddle as he sobs.

[00:41:54] The sobbing guy is because someone just shit near him. Yes! That is objectively the case. Also, you can't hold a thought when things smell bad. Like, there's a shitter next to you that also impedes your focus. My thought with that was that that can't possibly be true because even if you have incredible brain fog, like, if someone that you're hanging out with, like, we were hanging out with the boys and one of us

[00:42:24] shit, like, sorry, that's the only thing on anyone's mind for like 15 minutes. The status quo cannot continue. Yes! Yeah, it's just like, even if you get distracted and start thinking about something else, within seconds you're gonna be like, something smells like total shit. Oh, I know what it is. It's all that shit in my buddy's fucking pants smushing against his cheekers down there. He's gonna have to clean the cheekers off and get new pants. Gross!

[00:42:54] One fell over bending down. That's just getting old. We all do that. That's nothing, that's no problem there. They should have said the activity. Like, was there a controller under the couch? Like, that makes sense. Was he trying to surreptitiously sniff his, uh, crotch and ass region to be sure that it wasn't him who did the shit? No alcohol, so like, no, there's just

[00:43:24] an insane gas leak, but no one's boozing it. Do you think that the shitting himself was like, he just, like, COVID's got him so hollowed out mentally that he's just like, this is the way you do it, right? Bloop. It's like, no dude, you gotta sit on the toilet first. Like, did he run to the bathroom not make it? Or was he just on the couch, undaunted? Like, fucking, like, the guy from Seinfeld who pisses on the couch. He just sits

[00:43:53] on the couch and goes, ah, and then gets up. Uh, I don't know. It's, well, actually, I do know. This is fictitious. This didn't fucking, like, I guarantee this didn't happen because if these events occurred as described, that's insane. Like, that is, like, what truly nightmare blunt rotation? One, because what we haven't discussed, there's five, there's six people

[00:44:23] hanging out and five of them did incredibly embarrassing things. We are forgetting the sixth person, which is the speaker. The speaker, like, imagine you went to hang out with your buddies and you shat yourself. So embarrassing, devastating, and mortifying. You, but at least I was with people who I trust, who know me and respect me. And then you get home and you see going viral. I would be like, oh, thank God, you said it was

[00:44:53] SARS related. Ah, one of us couldn't stop posting about our friends shitting. Ah, all right, let's move on. this is a quick one. This is just a classic math problem. This is why you need to understand word problems, because when you go online and you see posts, occasionally you will be like, wait a minute, I know what numbers to compare to each other, and you will come up with a

[00:45:22] very funny answer. So there was someone who was saying that during Jimmy Carter's funeral, that it was really bad that Barack Obama was photographed joking around and laughing in a friendly manner with Donald Trump. Everyone was saying that he shouldn't be fucking doing that. The reason is he should not be fucking doing that. However, we got a lib named Curious Snowflake,

[00:45:52] James C. Strzok, who has a different take. He says, it is actually very racist and rude to demand this of Obama. And here is what he says. Wow, the amount of white blindness in this comment section is staggering. I hate to break it to you all, but Obama is still a black man living in a white man's world, and part of that is laughing when you really want to kick someone's teeth in, because the alternative is dying. That's very funny because the idea that

[00:46:22] they would kill Obama at the funeral if he sort of was stoic and didn't make eye contact with Trump. But someone quoted two tweets of James's from earlier with the caption, doing some quick maths here, because, and this is where the word problem occurs. James C. Strzok had earlier said to a quote tweet asking how has your sense of identity changed through your life? He said, when I was 17, I was a

[00:46:52] straight, pro-life, moderate, devout Catholic. Now at 50, I'm a genderqueer, pansexual, polyamorous pantheist. That's fine. But he also replied to another prompt tweet, which was, what has turned out to be a huge silver lining in your life? And the answer, definitely knocking up my 17-year-old girlfriend. Turns out, she was the love of my life. This September is going to be 25 years. 50, 25, 17. Okay, let's do some math here. He's been

[00:47:22] with her 25 years and he's 50, so he was 25 when she was 17. Do not advertise this. Don't tell people this. Don't do it. It's just a weird thing to volunteer. Yeah, you can't give people the word problem. You can't. And also, if you're going to give people the word problem, you can't be smug and morally superior, because you're just like, hey,

[00:47:52] I'm really annoying and the one way you could absolutely. It would be so bad if you cut me down to size. Yes, yes. And also, here's a very funny thing. 25-year-old with a 17-year-old girlfriend. That's pretty sus. You know what's really funny? Seinfeld was this plus over a decade. He would just go to that school and pick her up. Like, if you went to her school, like, you would see the guy on the TV.

[00:48:22] Like, she'd be done with class. You know, yeah, over a decade more. Jerry Seinfeld was 38 when she was, Shoshana Lonstein was 17 and going out with her. So, actually, compared to Seinfeld being 25 and going out. to use. How does Seinfeld stack up? So, 38 and 17, more than a decade older than this fucking guy was.

[00:48:52] And he's getting dunked for it. All right, we gotta do the sex poem. Um, sorry. This was, uh, Jita Jackson at XOXO Gossip Jita. Uh, they're a great poster. You'll see them around all the time. They said that, just read an awful poem by a Twitter socialite type that contained the phrase beautiful penis not once but three times. I literally feel like I should take a shower. And, uh,

[00:49:21] enough people were going Jita share the fucking poem. Show us the horrors. You, like, you, you kind of have to because Jita is essentially like showing up with a wooden box peeking in there and being like, oh, it's so fucked up in there, guys. It's so fucked up in there. And everyone's like, can we see what's in the box? And she's like, I don't know. This is, this is the whitest kids you know, Trevor's gross out show. She's holding up the bucket that says poo

[00:49:51] poo and pee pee. And, oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, so here it is. This is a poem called Remember How This Feels by the Twitter user Syswoon. I am happy when I make a cheap cake from the box, but I am not part of the collective consciousness. When a man with a beautiful penis adores me. When a man with a beautiful penis sees innocence in my mess.

[00:50:22] When a man with a beautiful penis turns to me in the morning, that time in the morning when his testosterone is spiking, when he is huge hands, and I am soft tits wormhole. I am happy when I hallucinate figures in the corner of my eye, when God finally gets me to sit down and stop speaking, scheming, spinning myself into sickness. That line's actually okay. When someone says, look at that, and I've never seen

[00:50:52] that before in my life. When Wednesday feels like Sunday, and I remember summer only consumes half the earth. When I think about dolphins, and when love intertwines with the oxygen in the room, and no one asks how much it is worth, or where it should go, or who it belongs to. Can I writ large categorize this as a type of poem that there are many like this, and I it's just a category I use for these type of things,

[00:51:22] and it's the poems first and foremost about like, I just got a lot going on up in my head. Like, that's like the, I got a lot going on, I have a rich inner life sort of thing, and obviously you should write about what happens to you, all that sort of thing, but like, the positioning is just like, aren't I neato? Yes. People were, there were some people who pushed back on making fun of this, being like, excuse me,

[00:51:52] are you such a prude? Do you really think that a penis can't be beautiful? Is there really no artistic value? gems on it, yeah. Yeah, there's no artistic value in using language to explore a woman's sexual desire for a male body, like, that's very, that's actually shaking my head, that's sus. The reason this poem is so bad is because, as you say, like, there's nothing, there's no, like, craft to it. There's nothing, like, it is very

[00:52:21] much a first draft. The fact that she says when a man with a beautiful penis three times, that is so much someone who's just like, dude, I do. How do you not hear that? There's no other repetition in the entire piece. I can only think of that. It is very much like, I'm gonna start writing about some thoughts that I have, because I got some thoughts. Now, here's the thing, that's the right first step, but you have to fucking do some more work, but I have some thoughts I'm gonna

[00:52:51] start writing, and I'm actually gonna do, like, free verse, so the form is whatever I feel like, and you know that she was just like, you know what would be fun is if I repeated it, and like, she repeats it three times, she's like, that's so poetic, and like, repetition can be poetic when it is used with intention, which this fucking wasn't. also, also, I love how the second half of this stanza is basically like, so if you didn't realize, I'm a right-wing,

[00:53:20] dime-square, cocaine, mean-girl Republican, because it is only when you look at life through that lens that you would decide in a poem. Oh, are you about to say, uh, testosterone a little bit? Yeah, yeah, that is how you will describe your man getting horny for you, is his testosterone is spiking. Yeah, it's, uh,

[00:53:50] there's a part of the poem that's just like some copy from brain pills. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Um, I am soft tits warm hole. I am soft tits warm hole. I am such soft tits warm hole. Lately, hole is so, I mean, again, that is so Dasha coded, saying hole in this way. Um, it's just, ugh, ah, it does not, hmm. It's so fucking funny the town

[00:54:19] from Die Dark is called Hole. All right, from Dora Hedora. Oh, sorry, the other one that's freaks, sorry, Dora the town of Hole, and they have the I Heart Hole, I Heart New York style shirts. That's his I Heart Hole. Um, here is a great, uh, quote tweet of this poem that I think gets, says it very succinctly. A shine knockoff of a type of influencer that hasn't existed since the pivot to video.

[00:54:49] Self-loathing fantasies so dull they get more from hitting posts than pulling a vibrator out about it. A truly awful brand of pick-me-girl gooning. And, uh, as much as it's easy to dunk and we just did and it was fun and easy. One of the things, I found that previous dunk because I was looking at the quote tweets being like, I bet someone's going to have an incredible dunk for me to, uh, queue up. I found

[00:55:17] someone who proves correct my hypothesis that the reason this poem is so bad is that they had the idea of, like, I got a lot of thoughts in my head and feelings. That's what poems are. So I'm just going to write them down in a fucking list. And, uh, because it is actually cool and modern to do all free verse, I'm going to apply no craft to it. And thus it comes out as a fucking first draft ass blob where the stylistic choices seem

[00:55:46] random and stupid. Uh, and this person, FF Fanatic 06, basically took the poem and applied it to a form and, uh, took some, expended some rigor on it. Uh, and I dare say it's much better. Uh, they describe I should be asleep, I'm supposed to be up in four hours, instead I'm trying to make a villanelle out of what I think this poet was going for. And so this is their rewrite of Remember How It Feels.

[00:56:17] I am happy when cheap cake mix reads perfectly moist and the morning greets me again. In the arms of beautiful men who make their need for me voiced. I am happy when I bite the end of my pen and remember breathlessness enjoyed and morning greets me again. With Aidan or Ben or Willem who want my unspoiled innocence destroyed. I am happy when heavy hands reach for me again and finger me perfectly moist and the morning greets me

[00:56:46] again. Because God gave me this body and the world of men and made life's cacophony fall silent before two bodies joined and I am happy when the morning greets me again. I am not going to say that is perfect. It is better. They do not say penis. They do not say penis so is it really a rewrite? Man I don't know. Sucks. You know what is good is the leaked photo of heaven. You heard about the

[00:57:16] leaked photo of heaven? They got one. We got to close out on this one. This is what I want to land on because I have been thinking about it a lot. Shit yeah then let's do it. Let's let's top this. This is real. This is like giants. This is the same. This has the same exact flimsy rhetorical framing that the giants had which is just like a computer AI generated this video of how giants might have built a pyramid. You see how there's

[00:57:44] no truthiness in there? It's just like the computer spit this out. Well yeah that's true about that but I don't see how that's relevant here because this is a leaked photo of heaven. Like that's like the headline here from our pal Nandi. Leaked photo of heaven. It's finally out here. It's not only out here. Leaked photo of heaven going viral on social media.

[00:58:14] No wonder Christians are so determined to get there. I'm looking at this and I'm amazed dude. I'm turning Christian now. I see what Dasha of Red Scare is all about. I actually believe in the Latin right big time if it means I get to go to leaked photo of heaven. So I would describe heaven as like a multi-spire mountain made out of like dried toothpaste and then inside there's glowing windows or maybe another way to

[00:58:44] look at this is that this was once a shipyard and it has been since covered in layers of cum. And as a result what we see now is some weird mass with like portholes everywhere. But to be clear this is heaven. This is the best place you can be. Joe? You've actually that cum joke that's not a joke. You've unlocked my mind. I was thinking the other day about retention kings. I wonder what they're doing. I wonder what

[00:59:13] their new vector is. You know they're always innovating those guys. They're not going to still be talking about the same things because they're so smart because they're cum. No they're going to be developers in heaven. Yes. When you get to heaven and you success and the reason you get to heaven is because you successfully retained your cum. If you were fucking busting all the time you do not get to go there. You show up with no masonry. You have no ability to construct pylons. Yes. Once you get to heaven full of

[00:59:42] cum that's when like the reward is it all comes out like and it pays off. Like this is what you were investing for and the cum forms these toothpaste mountains that you live in. I can't emphasize enough that this shit looks like a big mall. No it doesn't look good. It looks very tacky. I do love the just the very reductive all Christians are trying to get

[01:00:12] here like this is it. Like the the Jesus is not really a factor here. Yeah. It's just sort of like a building. I also love that it's in that it's explicitly in space because it's like I think that can be observed with a big telescope which means it's real. Oh duh. Okay I get it because I was gonna be like it's so funny the sort of bird brained understanding of religion where

[01:00:42] God literally lives in the sky which like no religion thinks that but like it's so common that people are like yeah religion is when God lives in the sky. I thought that was what this is from but no it only it has to be in space because the leaked leaked photo where is it leaking from who had it under wraps the government maybe they got it from God's phone.

[01:01:10] yeah God was like the latest batch of retention kings who just showed up here at like busted crazy amounts this entire new like plaza on the left. Their layers will become a coliseum for sure. Yeah yeah yeah like that's new um I love this heaven folks what does it mean to live forever in the full glory of God

[01:01:40] means you live in a big fucking building like you probably got an apartment in there. Uh dude is this just a 15 minute city because like it's all enclosed like you can't go out into like the cum hills because it's the moon. Yeah you know you said come and I made the retention kings joke but looking at the texture this is so fucking toothpaste this is 100% too. Oh it's very specifically like I have not cleaned my

[01:02:10] sink. Yes yes yes yes. I am disgusted at the the firmness of this particular dollop of toothpaste. It should not be as structurally strong as it is. Uh and what if that was a whole city? Photo of heaven. I will say uh it's one of the few things from my catholic upbringing that I like think is still interesting and obviously I don't think this is like true or uh like accurate but I just think it's

[01:02:39] like as an artistic representation of a concept uh it's really good. Also I know that this guy C.S. Lewis is a big time piece of shit guy but there is some book of his I think it is called The Great Divorce that is basically like it's the story of some guy dying and going to hell and then heaven and the way that hell and heaven are actually shown is like it's the

[01:03:09] reason it stuck with me is because these are very shop worn tropes and it is the first time that I had seen them sort of uh rethought in a way that sort of like made logical sense that wasn't beholden to like heaven is where you have harps hell is where there's red guys uh and the whole concept was when you die you go to hell and hell is just like the world now but you have sort of like semi

[01:03:39] omniscient not omniscient but like you have like powers like you can the world is infinite and like if you want the world to go on more you can so if like you want to be on your own you can just go out into the infinite void and if you want to like have a house it just like appears and so you can you can like live your life exactly as you were uh and every day there's a bus that goes to heaven that you can get on and when you go to heaven on the bus like the journey is just that the bus gets huge

[01:04:08] and eventually like the entire infinite expanse of hell becomes like a grain of sand and you see that like heaven is uh much larger than you can ever conceive of and the way that you like get there is you have to like give up the things that are holding you back from uh embracing the glory of the lord and a lot of people just won't do it and again i don't embrace the glory of the lord because that shit's made

[01:04:38] up but again that's an interesting concept the idea that like hell isn't a punishment it is just when you choose not to join the choir you know like that's that's an interesting concept much more interesting than the leaked photo of heaven which is sad because it's that's what's real like it is the toothpaste yeah there's stars in the background which you can't fake you can't try to do it ai won't let you it'll say i don't know how to do that i got fingers like i figured that out but stars that's dude that's

[01:05:08] impossible you know what was the best scam of all time and something i'm jealous of the first person whoever it is to come up with it it's just like yeah you own a star i'll put your name on it give me four hundred dollars or whatever that person is so smart there's a lot of stars dude you can't run out you're gonna run out of people before stars like they're gonna you're gonna have double dippers who want two stars oh speaking of dippers what if you own the entire big dipper that would be so dope you could like charge people for your ip like

[01:05:37] you're looking up at that shit that's mine you know and that's why he's smart yeah uh what if someone owned the star that heaven's on dude that would be so embarrassing first of all it's on the moon so it would be a non-issue my bad my bad must have gotten i i'm not retaining enough i need to do more retention so i can have the most powerful retention king anyway blue sky's got some dumb fucking posts i think is the point we're making

[01:06:07] here yes we got a lot more that we didn't get to so that just means that we're gonna be able to do another one soon isn't that fun they're back they're back what if like now our audience is like grown and matured they're like this is this sophomoric hoo-hawing and hollering and hooting over some moronic posts just below me that'd be devastating don't say that i also don't think our audience will grow yeah they don't they don't get better

[01:06:38] actually yeah no oh no no i'm gonna take that in a positive way which is to say anyone who likes anime sickos is already at like the peak of intellectual ability and to get any smarter would involve giving up your moronic traits which is itself stupid because you gotta have some keeps you balanced don't want to be too hot top heavy because then you're gonna fall over and uh knock your head open and your cum's gonna leak out and then you won't be retaining

[01:07:08] your cum and then the whole game's over because how can you be smart with no cum in your brain you can't simply not possible anyway that's all for anime sickos uh thank you for joining us we'll see you next time i've been tom and anime sicko i've been joe and anime sicko buh-bye bye ye thank you for listening to anime sickos i've been tom a sicko you can follow me on blue sky at tom harrison joe was also a sicko you can follow him on blue sky at sharia uncle you can follow

[01:07:37] anime sickos on blue sky at anime sickos or email us at anime sickos at gmail.com you can give us money at patreon.com slash anime sickos if you want uh please leave us a review or something i don't know tell a friend uh anyway until next time bye