219: Oops! All Goofs 6

[00:00:00] Behold, Cold Open So Wendy and I had a day date, she took the day off and we went to the Art Institute Class Of Chicago Class It's assumed, but yes, of Chicago Folks, Chicago's got great museums, they got some wonderful stuff I have two anecdotes for you Tom and the class that I would like to share from our art trip The first was, there is a section, and I've been in the Art Institute many times

[00:00:27] I don't know why I never saw this before, there's a room that is a historical recreation of the original Chicago Stock Exchange Before it moved to what was the post office building now, which is not even a post office building now Actually Joe, I can tell you why you haven't seen that before It's because Oh, it's the nerd shit section? No, because Joe, what you did was you stumbled into a ghost room that hasn't existed for a hundred years

[00:00:53] That's true, and it sucked that the ghost room was mostly, like, not set up then But it is obviously like the original, what looked like a period-appropriate stock exchange time And I just immediately, I walked in there, because it's a big cavernous room with lots of echo And you're like, oh, my brain was going And I immediately was like, I need to get a bunch of people in period-appropriate clothing

[00:01:20] To be, like, doing stock futures for video game mechanics that have not come out yet Jumping, jumping, jumping, 500 and jumping Yes, uh, like, there's a panic sell because, like, someone realizes that getting hit and moving back a bunch sucks And it's just like, hear this, hear this The inventory where you run out of slots is tanking Sell now! Isn't it cool that there's an old way to talk? Yeah, it's so good I think that's, ugh

[00:01:48] Hotsucker Proxy is a very big movie in the sense that it's like kind of musical theater Like, everyone's just like very animated Get this, doll Oh, my, but the, the, the newspaper lady has the best 30s lady voice of all time It's so fucking good The other thing that happened, that was much more harrowing Is that I was, we were walking through It's funny how, like, the parts of the museum that you're gonna be walking through, like, you have to

[00:02:17] That's where they put the boring shit no one cares about as much That's where you got, like, your urns, because, uh, obviously they're stolen Yeah But, uh, that sort of thing But I was walking, and this was a field trip day So there's a bunch of kids around So, uh, there was three, I would say, either teens or, like, pre-teens, about that age Yeah, well, there's your problem For sure And they were just, like, the tallest one was Their leader I assume, in charge, yeah, right

[00:02:44] When you're a leader, one of those things that you have to do is you have to disseminate information to your, like, underlings And she was explaining, and we were walking by And I heard her start Well, start the explanation about how you, like, so I saw That most of this stuff was maybe built by giants I, Tom, Tom, Tom Tom, I'm not Uh, I It was like, I just kept walking, but it felt like I'd been punched Like, I, and

[00:03:14] Here's the thing Like, maybe they're joking They could be joking Like, here's some crazy shit I didn't hang around like a creep to listen to where the discussion goes But it's like, they were talking about it And, like, oh There, there's a really good Eric Andre sketch It's very short It's just, like, him doing very Like, one where he's just, like, eating a donut in his doorway And then he just gets shot a bunch But he doesn't react That's good And then there's another one where he's just, like, pushing a stroller And gets shot a bunch and doesn't react

[00:03:42] And it's, walking past the group saying Yeah, so, like, this is the deal with giants Felt like I was, like, I was getting shot, but I just kept walking Was it, were they looking at Egypt stuff? Yes, for sure Yeah, like, it wasn't Oh, God It would be just everything Just everything here, giants Giants Art, history Doesn't matter Fucking everything Renoir, Renoir, he was a giant Yeah

[00:04:11] It made all those minute details in his paintings much more impressive Because he was 100 feet tall How could he see? Yeah It's not looking Well, my issue is that they're in danger now Because they're getting close to the truth Yes, yes, true, that's true They might learn that the pyramids are just the tops Where the pyramids don't extend Like, it's not The same pyramid shape does not continue to extend As soon as the sand hits the pyramid

[00:04:40] That's when it becomes obelisk Yeah, they're just Straight down Because if it wasn't just the tops There would be no need for a giant to do it Because a pyramid is essentially just a pile Which is the easiest The easiest structure that could ever be built Yeah, and it's not like there's like documented Slave guides about how to push these huge slabs forever I think the new like annoying guy fact is like Actually, they were paid with beer and bread

[00:05:10] It was volunteer But there was definitely also some slave I mean, back in the day If you don't have some slaves Oh, those volunteer whips that they had Yeah, yeah, for sure The giant dude People are like, oh, the kids People are always going back and forth with Gen Z The kids are alright, we're so cooked This would be before This would be whatever's after Oh, fuck So, what's that PS3 game with the archer lady?

[00:05:39] With the robots? Horizon Zero Dawn So, this is the generation that's going to be doing that Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And... They're in school and they're just like When are they going to get to the Giants? I know that's critical But we haven't gotten to them yet And it's like two or thirds of the way through the school year You'd think they would have brought that up by now I remember on a field trip to the Field Museum Which is a good museum But if we're being honest That's what you would learn about Giants Not the Art Institute

[00:06:08] Yeah, it's also kind of the most boring one I remember because they had like old Like First Nations Native American people That had the swastika stuff on it Because it was obviously a taken like symbol And I remember asking my teacher Were they, like, why were they Nazis? And she just laughed and didn't answer That's okay I remember this for as long as I live Because if you go into teaching It just seems like a perfect moment Where it's like

[00:06:36] I'm coming to you with ambiguity about the world Can you set me on the right path? Because my background understanding of World War II Via PC games Is confusing me right now Well, Joe I have to say that while I understand what Kid Joe wanted As an adult Like she was right Yes, I co-signed what she did And I would do the same

[00:07:06] Just like, hey kid I'm gonna give you a little treat That you had to turn over your head your whole life He hee, bye bye It was such a Miss Krabappel laugh It was sharp

[00:07:47] Welcome to Anime Sicko's Podcast The only podcast Podcast for geniuses Where we look at the four pillars of modern misery Anime, gaming, posting and chops I am Tom and Anime Sicko I am Joe and Anime Sicko I have a bunch of new patrons A number of them are because they joined So that they could play my fun game Time Force X Mission of Lennon

[00:08:16] Early before it was released to the public We did a great scheduling job Which is to say that if you're listening to this now It has already been released to the public So... Go get it And also, oops, we missed our chance to juice Pledges, but whatever This is a long burn The game is not going away It will deliver goofs indefinitely It is a, like, Rube Goldberg goof machine Much like Benghazi, it's not going away

[00:08:46] We got new patrons Our first is gonna be Dayglo Tiger Shark Thank you Is this five American dollars? They're all five dollars Don't even need to ask It's nothing but dollars from top to bottom Thank you, Dayglo Tiger Shark That's good Thank you, thank you This next one's got a funny name Mucha Makuchi Yeah, that is pretty good That's fun to say Well, you say that, you didn't say it I'm nervous now Mucha Makuchi

[00:09:15] Thank you for five dollars Thank you, thank you This next one This is gonna be my man Mitch Sorry I took so long to sub Here's the thing One, I forgive you Two, how would I know how long it took? How would I know? You are the only one who knows the number of the guilt So just lie to yourself You only need to convince one person And then you're done But it doesn't matter because again, you're fully forgiven You can take as long as you fucking need

[00:09:43] Also, critically, everything the sickos do is fucking free That's just how it is So you don't have to pay ever And you're never, you're always sinless It's just timed exclusives Like the gaming days of yore Yeah, we'll send you a fucking CD-Rama Chex Quest in the mail Don't hold us to that Actually, that would be so cool Those are probably worth a lot, if I'm honest I don't think we have that Next up is gonna be our homie Alex Lawson Thank you Alex Thank you Alex Thank you for money

[00:10:13] We love it Then we got this guy Joe, you ever get a headache and you need an aspirin? Yeah, that's happened Yeah, well then you better thank Sir Bayer For inventing aspirin Pop another couple Bayer Thank you Sir Bayer And then this is This is just our homie from real life This is gonna be Honky Cat Honky Cat I know you can't say that You can't say that You can't, you can't say that You can absolutely say that Hell yeah

[00:10:43] He's allowed to use that word And also it's Elton John Thank you, thank you Yeah, I know that Honky Cat Is subbing to play the game Because he told me That he thought that the mummy route Should have worked That it should have saved John Lennon's life I disagree, which is why I wrote it To not succeed That won't be a spoiler Mummies are inherently not successful Because they're all fucking dead and in pyramids And honestly

[00:11:15] You'd think the mummies would be giants Because if the giants built the pyramids It would be for themselves, right? Why are they building pyramids for like little guys? Giants can't just be for the guys Yeah, they're just passing through I guess And like let us help you out Alright, bye That's actually, I have a This is an interesting philosophical thought I've had Joe, do you think giants can respect little guys? Like do you think that like giants And would ever think that people are like equal to them?

[00:11:44] I feel like there's no way I don't think so and here's why Any attempts at communication would be impossible The letters would be too small So writing would not work That's so true They would not be able to hear The sound waves would not reach their ears The only way I could see it happening Is if a giant was like for some reason Like knocked on the ground for a very long time And was forced to be eye level with these little guys For like, I don't know, a year Maybe they fed him, kept him alive

[00:12:12] Is he like, was trapped in something? I haven't thought this out But anyway, that's the only situation I can see Where he like comes to understand and respect them But normally I'm gonna go with the big no Yeah, okay, I have two thoughts on that One, what society has ever had such abundance That they could spare the amount of food That it would take to feed a convalescing giant You know they need a lot, every day Two, if you're trying to contrive reasons

[00:12:40] A giant would be lying down May I introduce to you an incredible concept known as sleeping Yeah, they wouldn't be sleeping by little guys though That's true, they see sleeping on the stone in the sea Okay, yeah, no I think we've hit the truth of it And we can move on Speaking of moving on We would like to introduce What we hope will become a recurring segment We say hope, not to suggest that it isn't good enough Or it might like fall I hope we remember it

[00:13:09] It's 100% that It's we will forget to do it The same way we forget to do all the recurring segments Remember the Fate Wiki? That ran out of gas It did It might have the gas back again Because the reason it ran out of gas Is because we were just like This is the same thing all over again But like, it's been multiple years It's not like we remember what the same thing even was But we're not going to do that We're doing a new segment called

[00:13:38] Kiryu, I think you killed that guy Joe, who is If someone has never heard of the great man Kazuma Kiryu Who is he? So Kiryu is the main protagonist in most of the Yakuza games And his thing is he's got like too much honor Like medically speaking He suffers from too much honor Like how when you grow too much because of giganticism Not the kind that builds pyramid

[00:14:07] But the kind that just makes your heart bad like a Great Dane It is like a problem Yeah He's got so much honor Because he's like the ultimate He's like the true spirit of Yakuza in guy form Because like the Yakuza is sort of self-mythologizing It's like we're not simply the mafia We have like a code of honor And we help the people And of course And he's actually that Yeah, and all the other Yakuza's are like Don't you understand that's a lie, bro?

[00:14:36] Like we're so evil Don't you get it? And so he's constantly in scrapes And the thing about Kiryu is Someone who's so against the prevailing feelings of the Yakuza at large While being in the Yakuza would probably get fucking killed But he's the best at fighting And what's his sort of His signature thing that he does? The Yakuza series has honestly a just big brain mechanic It's called heat actions And what they are is

[00:15:06] It's a beat-em-up game You beat up guys And eventually You know when guys get stunned In some games they would just have like Three stars over their head And wait for you to keep punching Heat actions are Very cinematic Badass takedowns That you never get sick of doing And they're always cool And they just fucking kick ass The issue of course Is Kiryu is a man of honor He fights and he protects The people he loves

[00:15:37] He does not kill He's Batman-ish in this way Yes The issue is that That does not clearly apply to heat actions Because like Just looking at these Like so many of these Are fatal Yeah The thing The thing What Yakuza says so many The reason that the Akusa series makes heat actions so good Is because like If you You know you see a stunned enemy You see the heat action button pop up

[00:16:05] The context in which you are in Like will determine what you do And there are like If you're near a car You'll do something with the car And also Oh there's so many improvised weapons That you can pick up during a fight And like It's so funny Because like they have Just at the top All the improvised ones are Insane They are Off the fucking chain It's silly that they even exist Cause like the improvised weapons Have like a durability of like

[00:16:35] Three hits So you hit a guy with the With the improvised weapon three times And it fucking disintegrates So the chance you're gonna get a heat action opportunity While you're holding one Is so low Which I guess is how they get away with Kiryu fucking murdering Doing saw Some of them are just saw things Yes Let me in fact Find one for you Tom has begun sharing his screen Kiryu is holding a box of nails

[00:17:05] You can tell that it's gonna be good Because under his health bar Where it shows what improvised weapon he is using It's just his box with nails Now Joe before I press play Which body part do you think is gonna play a major role In the box with nails Heat action You know I played through these and Many of the improvised weapons For the reasons you explained I didn't really mess with

[00:17:33] And I have a feeling I'm gonna be grateful I didn't see them I'm feeling face That is a Wise Prediction I will now press play On the heat action Oh man Okay So he opens by showing him the nails Very Sesame Street Just like here you go these are the nails And then he makes him eat a bunch by punching them into his mouth Which I would think would hurt his hand but it's fine And then he just kicks him in the jaw Oh you're missing an important part

[00:18:02] Which is when he has a mouth full of nails He uppercuts him in the chin So that he bites down on the nails as hard as possible Oh yes yes So that guy's dead Or at least like never speaking again So also just low on honor as far as a move goes Let's be honest Yes Let me see if I can find another fucked up one Alright this next one This one is a pure normal heat action

[00:18:32] This is just occurs when you are near a wall Which is very common And this is not Japan's got so many of those Yeah So this is like one of Kiryu's bread and butter moves In terms of like killing guys Cause you know a lot of the heat actions Like he punches someone in the face really hard Or he kicks him in the gut And they like fly back ten feet And it's like that's gonna ruin their month But they'll be fine This one

[00:19:02] Well So I'll play it for you This is a two-parter Yeah I'll play it for you And you can describe to the class What is going on So the opening part is he just slams He actually does like a very sort of Saloon throw Like you're being ejected from the tavern Like type throw He goes straight into the wall By which I mean all of the force is Going into his neck and jaw Here's the thing The goon The target Not killing yourself Yes That would be ridiculous Yes A bunch of blood comes out

[00:19:31] Here's the thing At this point I'm willing to concede This is non-fatal but fucked up Yeah This is like again This would ruin the guy's month Who is in maybe take some time off of his lifespan Due to the brain injury That this is undoubtedly causing Definitely broken facial bones But survivable And also I'll say it In terms of a gameplay perspective This is brutal enough that I would accept this As a heat action

[00:20:01] Oh if it stopped here yeah And then well part two and I'll play that now So this is a classic case of greed Uh He then just like roundhouse kicks him into the wall And the way The video is currently paused There's some clipping occurring in the guy's hat Which honestly looks like his fucking brain is coming out Uh So there's He wasn't dead before

[00:20:30] He's dead now I can't emphasize to you enough how much his face This guy's face got slammed into the wall Very hard And the camera cuts back And his head is just leaning against the wall And Kiryu squares up And does like a Forward straight kick As hard as he can A forward straight kick With the leg is like You know with the other like planted The main move

[00:21:00] That's like as much violence as a human body can generate The issue is it's very hard to land that Well it's not hard to land that If the guy's head is perfectly still And against the wall Uh and yeah So there are like blood effects in this game They just shoot out And you sort of don't take notice of them The amount of blood that comes out Of this one is so fucking Unbearable It's

[00:21:27] It reads as murder so much I can't believe They got away with this Yeah and this happens every five seconds Yeah This is a very You know what rules though is when this happens And because you've entered a new area guys have more health And they just get up Yeah Oh speaking of guys just getting up There is a classic type of Classic type of improvised weapon That you can pick up every now and again

[00:21:56] Known as knife And you might be wondering What kind of Is it classified as improvised? I think that you can You can purchase like named knives But you can also just find knives on the ground Especially it's most commonly when a guy has a knife in a fight with you When you knock them down the first time they drop the knife you pick it up Now it's your knife And what is a finishing move that you can do with a knife that wouldn't kill?

[00:22:24] That's a really hard question to answer So the developers of Yakuza didn't answer it Yeah I will now play it I have this in memory but yeah let's play it Joe what did he do? What did Kiryu do with his knife? Like straight up like kabuki style assassination By which I mean he braces his elbow the way you do Like when you're doing the assassination And then he just goes up into his gut And then the guy's like oh shit obviously

[00:22:52] And then he continues to push forward and up Releasing more murder chemicals It's like again His ribs are gone Like I played Sengyro And Sengyro your guy fucking Kills everyone There is zero He has zero honor He has the amount of honor that a shinobi requires Which is I will do what it takes for my lord And his lord takes killing Don't kill the lord

[00:23:21] His lord requires killing from Sengyro And when he does the cinematic like kill moves on the bosses You know cause the bosses you only You only actually hit them twice All the fighting is just to engineer them dropping their guard And then you hit them twice And they're dead Like the big cinematic slow-mo like Absolute killing impale through the gut That you do in Sengyro When you're just like yes

[00:23:50] I beat the boss They're fucking dead Like the amount of killing occurring on screen Is what makes all the work you put in worth it He's like essentially the same animation There is one obviously super fatal situation In the game that occurs a bunch of times That I actually don't think is fatal And it's Every time you have a boss fight It's just two guys doing these heat actions to each other non-stop But I believe they're not fatal Cause like both guys are usually glowing

[00:24:20] Oh yeah yeah yeah that's important Glowing is very critical And also when it's that cinematic context It sort of feels like an elevated reality You know where it's like okay I can kind of feel Like we're doing a kill bill fight Like wow Yeah The fun thing about Yakuza is that You walk around Japan You get to really play the crane game And then turn around and curb stomp a guy Yeah When you're fighting like the goons

[00:24:46] Who don't have crazy like intricate character design And funny gimmicks And you do this shit to them There's just an element of groundedness and reality That makes you go oh no They also never stop being like Entertaining slash shocking They're fast usually You see them a bunch And at no point are you like this shit again Cause it's like oh there's enough randomness Where you're like oh what murder am I gonna see

[00:25:15] So this one might be one of my favorites Because talk about one You said this with the box of nails That you're like oh cause you rarely are fighting with a box of nails So you never see this I really never saw this And I also didn't know this improvised weapon was even in the game It's so rare I'm talking about the kettle Like a tea kettle Now you might be wondering what could possibly be done to have a finishing move With the tea kettle

[00:25:45] Well let's watch it and find out He hits them with it That's oh man Okay so this is like one of those saw ones Uh So he knocks them down and then he steps on his chest And then he just pours boiling water over him Over his face let's be clear Yeah And it's like a good sized kettle There's a lot of water in there Maybe it's just hot How do you know it's boiling The amount of steam Reads boiling

[00:26:14] He's really writhing This would be pretty bad But because it's being done by Kiryu And he's got the classic Kiryu model face Like he doesn't understand that he's hurting this man He's got the stoic yes He's got the stoic like I'm a hard man Honorable yet fair And it's like There is no universe

[00:26:38] Where it is okay to pour this much boiling water on anyone's face These are just very off character Especially the improvised ones as we had said But this is so fun Alright One more This is all we're gonna do I think the most out of pocket improvised weapon usage Where it's just like here you You can't There's no way

[00:27:07] You can justify to yourself that this is okay Because I mean some of these Because you can punch people really hard And you're just not doing that Yes but also I was going for like There's no plausible deniability That you're doing this for any other reason than to kill Yeah And there's no way that you could say That you expected it to be non-lethal And what I'm talking about is the finisher With the improvised weapon of

[00:27:36] Mysterious syringe Often picked up on the ground Near homeless encampments Did not know about this one in my playthroughs Let's watch Well pretty simple He bites the cap off it Do you see that? Yes Like it's still capped? Like it's not used Yes This is what I think It makes it undeniably like Like Kiryu you knew What you were doing And then he just jams it in his hip

[00:28:06] And pushes a bunch of air bubbles in there I mean like he's And then he falls over But this is murder Like best case scenario It's full of a mystery liquid Which also might kill you It's definitely not fucking sterile Yeah and it's going to your brain and heart Like he's just like Batman Yeah I was watching this That really took me by surprise

[00:28:35] I was shocked by the kettle one But like this one is like I think this is as close as you can get to Like an execution Beyond just like kicking out someone's knees So they're kneeling And then taking out a gun And putting it in the back of their head And I feel like it's as likely That the gun would have The little joker flag That's this bang pop out And just kind of nick the guy In the back of the head That's as likely as Injecting someone with them In a mystery syringe

[00:29:04] And expecting They'll be fine Yeah this is just to knock them down I don't have any other means God damn Joe I love I'll tell you one thing that I love is coffee You heard about coffee? You heard about this drink? Yeah So I I've actually been doing some innovating On that front I'm working on something called

[00:29:33] An Americano 2 Yeah Because Americano 1 is cancelled on account of Death to America It's called the Canadiano now Which normally would be cringe like Freedom Fries Except that But like it's really warranted now Like it's Death to America makes it real America Yes Yes So Americano 2 So the soul of America as it is now Give it to me Okay so An Americano is what? It's espresso And then you just fill up

[00:30:03] Most of the remaining mug With hot water Because the idea was that Americans didn't like the bitterness of espresso You water that shit down with hot water Right? I'll tell you what I This is why I like and order Americanos Canadianos now And it's because I like espresso And I understand the flavor wise Why you would make an espresso However My American ass Must drink coffee out of a big, big mug Yes That's right

[00:30:32] That's how it should be Yes You need to have like this thing you drag around all fucking day Yeah and like also If I'm having coffee I want to be having it for a while And espresso is done right away And so like just like make espresso take longer Americano And honestly they really cooked Coming up with the Americano Because like they got me in one Like that's exactly what I want As an American Incredible

[00:31:01] But but Death to America it's taken by Canada now So Americano 2 What is that? Similar concept But just made for our more insane Awful times It is Instead of espresso you take like Half a mug of iced coffee And then you fill the Rest of it up with water And then you Nuke it in the microwave Oh That is the The incredible technique of

[00:31:31] Starting with iced coffee And then making it hot That is some real bullshit stuff You just said I think the only other Fucked up coffee thing I can think of Is just I haven't done this but I've Like it would be really funny if you just Stand In your front window Drinking what is clearly hot coffee Out of a dinner glass Like physically uncomfortable Because it hurts your hand Yeah You know what I thought would be The

[00:31:59] This is my image of how to make the Americano 2 Even more viscerally upsetting The water you use To water down The iced coffee You'd think would come from the sink But what if You were too lazy to walk all the way over to the sink And you were instead standing right next to a humidifier You just You just You just pulled the tank out And poured some into your drink But you'd be off the grid then completely Yes That would be Okay

[00:32:28] Except well the microwave part's an issue but Yo that's so important being off the grid Especially as tariffs and the And the economy crash are on the way Coffee's gonna go through the roof Water's gonna go through the roof It doesn't really fix the coffee part It doesn't really fix the water part either But you're gonna be off the grid which is what you're looking for And you're gonna have a new bad way To drink coffee that sucks SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD SICKO MOLD

[00:32:58] We talked about Doing a sicko Radio project And it's been Not moving forward because of the way the world is But Wasn't it fun to think about We're still thinking about it We might move forward on it You never know However We got one thing we want to read to you Because as we were talking about this We got contacted by A sicko fan Who worked in radio And has Real knowledge And I think this is very interesting stuff

[00:33:27] That people might want to hear From a sicko fan who wished to remain anonymous Hello sickos I was listening to your latest episodes Where you talk about wanting to be a radio guy Everything you said about radio is objectively correct And you are Love to hear that Now this is how you write an email to us This is how you get a letter read by us Yeah He continues I've worked in radio for around 7 years Give or take And let me tell you

[00:33:54] I initially started for some of the same reasons Joe talked about That's implicitly calling you a genius Oh yeah For example How important it is as a community tool It can be an amazing way to stay in touch with the community Especially locally I believe and still do to a small degree That radio can be a uniquely powerful tool for the reasons Joe talked on And a hundred more Maybe the email ends there And radio is great Let me scroll down a little bit Oh no

[00:34:25] It's fucked boys Radio in 2025 is a bleak corporate sales and spreadsheet driven hellscape Every person working in radio myself included Does the jobs of what pre-COVID would have been the jobs of five separate people For example I am currently Insert fake sounding job title here For three stations In the past my job was performed by one fake sounding job title here And one fake sounding job title's assistant here Per station Not three stations at once

[00:34:54] In addition to my actual job I also do production, voice over, event coordination, copywriting, and web and social content Uh oh That job is just all radio Yeah The real job title if they were to name it correctly Is like guy who does the radio Like guy who just does it all Um I did have a show for a time Before it made me want to suck on a shotgun All of our playlists and libraries are built by the numbers

[00:35:24] Algorithms fed to our program directors People who have long since had their talents squandered and passion driven out of them By consultants and ratings companies dictate every song that goes on the air From 6am to 6am None of it is live anymore Any terrestrial radio station you hear taking requests Is fucking lying to you Every talk break is also this Pure record ramping white noise are sponsor mentions The last blip of creativity is a handful of morning shows

[00:35:54] I love that the morning zoo is like The last I have started Since I started talking about this radio thing I have turned on the radio in the morning And morning talk is like just vapid in a way It's lo-fi tongue wagging And it has a purpose It's supposed to just like be mindless And it goes down easy But like the idea that like Yeah this is where This is where the good ideas are happening I was

[00:36:22] Do you remember hearing about Eric and Kathy? Growing up? Yeah, yes Talk about another time That like you grew up and you're like a kid So like what are you interested in? You're interested in video games and fucking candy and the Simpsons And like one thing you do not give a shit about is the morning zoo And yet every kid in Chicago for sure A hundred percent knew who Eric and Kathy were It sucks, they were on billboards everywhere

[00:36:53] Also every morning shows like angle is like He he we said it And it's like 7am We're putting people in camps What the fuck do you mean we said it? He said it like the guy in charge of the slaves said I don't care what the judges say Yeah, so it's like You can't say that on radio I don't know You can't say anything on radio as this is fucking saying The only thing that can be said is what the fucking people tell you to say

[00:37:22] I will say what is obviously a very rich well and they go to frequently is just They're not real Collins, I understand that But the fake Collins with like relationship type questions Those are just like a slam dunk for like laziness but also interesting And like it doesn't that's what it is I mean just tell me your fucked up problem about this weird person Oh wow, okay next It's it's that's okay Mm-hmm. There's something to be discussed and studied regarding what is the

[00:37:52] What is the sort of taxonomy And uh like genus relationship between The podcast and the morning zoo because they're both talking But I feel like they're different or are they like what in what sensor we know where's our toilet sounds That's a time that's me trying to do it Really? That's a toilet, right?

[00:38:22] You want to talk grim toilet death world is it I listen to the mix again because I'd mentioned it just listen to radio again and there are Dude, there are commercials for podcasting like you need to do this it reaches more people than radio on radio Oh, that's so fucking disrespectful. That's like oh my god

[00:38:45] That's like if someone like wrote into us being like I would like to sponsor anime sickos podcast and their ad read that they had us read was just like What you need to do is beat fucking tom up in the street if you see him hit him Uh, god damn it Yeah, and it's framed as like not radio sucks. Listen to podcasts because Oh, that's the other thing about Everything about radio is that it's all entrepreneur mindset, right?

[00:39:12] It's just like this is about growing your business, you know, whatever the podcasting is about this Uh, and honestly radio should just be Not It shouldn't be about anything. It should be goofing. It should be goofs toilet sounds The other thing that's kind of annoying is that it's made so people drop in and out constantly So you're like discouraged from having like any good runners. You know what I mean? Uh, uh, uh, uh, anyway, please continue that on the letter that were that we are told we are right

[00:39:41] Yeah, uh local musicians have no home on local radio outside of specifically your nonprofit community radio stations Which are the last bastion of what radio should be? This is so fucking big because I was been reading I've been on a crazy kick lately of reading books from the library About different music genres. I read the big jazz book Uh, I read a book about prog by david weigl from the washington post that was written so badly. I could barely believe it

[00:40:09] Um, whoever was the editor on that book should either get a new job or uh, do what elon should do Uh, and then I also read, uh, please kill me the oral history of punk in the new york in the 70s And in all of these instances big reasons why like beloved genres happened Like why you know about them and like other bands other great bands started up

[00:40:35] Was because a guy like a single guy on the radio? Got a bee in his bonnet about this new record and was just like Like sucks to be you guys. This is playing all day Like that's what college radio is supposed to do like literally it's like Like like it had a huge impact on like blondie at the time because like it was like she was coming up and like all these stations that weren't like

[00:41:04] The real thing would play these records. You know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes Those those all those colleges still have radio stations you can listen to them but to be clear, but I feel the function is different And i'm talking not just about college radio like they're like re like like the radio station in new york like a guy would be like Yehira these freaks and put the ramones on and like this was before they had a lot of like this before they were famous

[00:41:31] This is when they're brand fucking new and they're all just like street children who are addicted to heroin Uh, and just cuz like some guy decided like yeah, i'm gonna put this on I mean like that's that's the whole thing like you How is that can't happen? There's no way for a guy to be like i'm going to put this on now The decision making is based purely on whimsy. No, it can't happen now The other thing that I keep coming back to and this is a total indictment is the way that it sounds absolutely

[00:42:01] Unchanged from when I listened to it in high school. Mm-hmm Uh, the music's obviously got like more mumford and sons or whatever, but like you get my point Yeah, it's not good. It's there's no I can't it can't move forward if no one is stirring the pot and no one is stirring the pot because You're required to put on the playlist that has been uh Determined by the algorithm to be the most safe and well

[00:42:28] Okay, are there weird soundcloud rappers anymore? Like what's that space like is that all gone dude? Yes, there's like this is part of the thing. I mean this is what you look at any musician online talking about making music that I'll say the same thing Which is that it's easier than ever to make and produce music that is like good enough to get out there? Uh, and there is like the like the uh, like scene in terms of like people making interesting stuff is like so vibrant, but

[00:42:55] It's sort of wasted because there is just no way to get it out There's no way to distribute it market it get it listened to and even if you do It doesn't matter. You won't make any money so like it you you can be and people are making interesting stuff, but like in this It is the same way like we're making interesting podcast episodes But like we are very niche and will be forever and like

[00:43:22] What can you do about that? If only there was some mass media that could uh Key into the interesting things and share them with people who might want to hear them But don't have the time or knowledge to dig into the obscure Oh, that's the other thing you need the people who are making like this shit To care about music and that's like that's a that's a thing across the entire uh

[00:43:49] Awful death to america evil american culture. That's the whole mba It's really stopping the weirdos from being weird. Yeah Yeah, it's like if you like you want the people in charge to be business geniuses who read books about business And it's like no, I don't want the people in charge of the radio to know about business I want them to know about music Uh, but they don't get that job because people who know about music aren't good at business and they want people who are good at business Fuck this Uh

[00:44:19] Let's continue. Let's rid this this letter Uh, these community radio stations the good ones uh are of course Unprofitable and thus will die a horrible death being slowly fed feet first into the machine Please donate to them for your tote bag so they can last another month The chicago area one the one that I know of is chirp That that's the one chirp radio chicago Yeah, give them tote bag money. Yeah that they're like uh, are they internet radio or real?

[00:44:47] They are they are their internet radio, uh, I think they're based off the rockwell stop I think that's not like hell the physical stop, but I think they're right next to it I gotta go and like have them hire me to just hang around until they like yeah fucking get in here Yeah, i'm gonna play all of close to the edge three times in a row I was recently witness to my company's hip-hop station undergoing a forced mutation into what is now ostensibly a throwback station read top 40 to appeal to a larger audience

[00:45:16] This change puts it in direct competition with two of our own stations which already fill that format this I can't believe hip-hop is not the the commercial genre no more, huh? I thought that was the main like mover I did too. It was my whole youth What like b96 was like a huge station, right? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yes like oh my god uh

[00:45:47] The hip-hop station while not profitable to national and agencies did very well in local stations and was actually profitable But the scent of blood in the water and the desire to appeal to the broader read white audience was too much for our consultants and managers All 60 to 70 year old white men like I said fucking guys who are good at business and not music fuck them So, uh, they took it out back and shot it both people in charge of hip-hop programming 66% of our

[00:46:13] POC employees just walked out the station is now vastly underperforming Whoo Radio Yeah, I wanted to do that as a career and then I was like oh, I gotta go to grad school because the only way to a decent market is to Work In a very Tiny market for a very long time and work your way back and I would have been subjected to many of the things Now being described Mm-hmm

[00:46:44] Uh, yeah Like I when I when I worked at the college station There was a guy who what like it was so funny because he was a former professional dj and he was just like Oh, I got to go to college like I just need to so he's like older but like He was like good in a way that was like he was just on another level because he was like did it for a job Yeah, and he was obviously very like into it Uh, and like his move after it. It was like I have to go now to I think

[00:47:13] Lubbock, texas or like just like that's like the only like these are like my options market wise, uh and I mean he he did it because it's like it's what he wanted to do But he was just like the best, uh, and it just made me think like man, uh, I guess I got to go to grad school which was also wrong This is I mean This is a example of everything that's happening in america

[00:47:39] Like if you live in american society for two fucking seconds. This is in sort of inescapable uh observation which is just like I feel like it should be That things that are good and everyone likes stick around however No things that are good and everyone likes get taken away uh There's a great line in the bee sting where uh The daughter is talking to a german exchange student

[00:48:09] And and she's like why do the people in this country not simply say what they want? Uh, and the daughter is like this is Historically a country where if you say what you want someone comes and takes it away Uh, and that's where we live too except we're it's our own self taking it away from our own self uh fucking christ like how hard should it be to imagine that like

[00:48:32] What if there was a free way that you could get music a morning zoo and traffic and weather together on the eights? Also, uh, we're talking about fm radio um am radio doesn't have to be a desert of right-wing shit like it doesn't uh Like for market reasons. I understand it is but like if you just literally were gonna have only talk stuff You could have interesting stuff on a on am radio will it ever happen? No for the reasons we described

[00:49:03] uh But no, it's just it's just that's the The radicalizing the wrong way frequency. Yeah, it sucks. I hate it You know what they should do is make us be on the radio and then we can pick like freak music that their own sure We'll play the pokemon theme Uh, what else will we do? Well, what what's what's what's our value add to a community radio station is quirky white boys

[00:49:30] uh, one thing that's never been said It to a large audience is the music opinion of white boys So this is gonna like really open up a lot of people's minds to uh Our sort of twisted worldview that no No one's seen before i'll play jazz you ever heard of miles davis you ever heard of this guy john coltrane? He plays this strange golden tube I think the show would honestly be us saying how much folk punk sucks, but then only playing it

[00:50:00] It does suck. It does suck. It's in it's absolutely indefensible. I ajaj is like my favorite band of all time I can hold both of these ideas at the same time Because I have ascended Yeah, okay We for our latest record club album was ajaj knife man their best album And when I was giving the sort of like context like to present it i'm like of course

[00:50:27] lead singer's voice sucks and sounds fucking terrible But I like it It does it's it's Uh, it's raspy and it's it stops just before being whiny Oh, it gets whiny I know it gets whiny, but like I am You know what I mean though? Like there are some people who the baseline is like you're just this is whiny like it just feels whiny

[00:50:52] Also when he really strains his voice. It's like a nerd thing and I mean this in a good way. I love it He sounds like a therapy boy like he sounds like he's in therapy now. Yes. Yes, and I Do not mean that in a baby probably no, I hope he is. I don't know. He's an anarchist Do you think he believes in that who knows? I don't know. I was I was remembering that they're in fucking on knife man There's a song he says I hate whiny fucking songs like this, but I can't afford a therapist Oh, so yeah, uh direct evidence in the record club song. No

[00:51:22] And also I don't know if he's an anarchist. I was thinking of pat the bunny who's the other uh big Not big but like when I think of folk punk. I think of pat the bunny Or the wingnut washers union guy. He's another band that again is just pat the bunny that I can't remember Yeah, he's he's got another bad voice that rules Yeah, it's he can't fucking sing. Uh sounds like it hurt Like that's the thing. I love it when it sounds like it's hurting the singer to be doing this

[00:51:49] Um, I heard that pat the bunny's brother made a post lately being like what's pat up to? Uh, and it's like well pat quit music because they need Money now the it's the the years in which it was okay to have no money stopped happening. That's over Yeah, uh now he has a job, uh, and isn't taking heroin anymore. So Pretty good. I think paul barrabo Follows me on blue sky

[00:52:18] That is one of the major would you say folk punk? I would definitely I mean it's coming It's coming up in the algo for sure. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes, I would. Um talk about like songs designed to absolutely annihilate a 21 year old white boy like oh my god like you will never find more brutally affecting emotional songwriting that That only works

[00:52:48] If you're in your early 20s if you hear you're if you're like 35 and you hear this you're like come on, dude Fuck fuck But man, you're 22. It's just like this is the this is what it means to feel Which that should be the theme of the show which is we're actually 22 Yeah, yeah, yeah Uh, you know, this is a new thing actually we should like Study this phenomenon because I don't think this has ever happened before where the things we liked when we were like in our teens are like

[00:53:17] We just better yeah forever like yeah most people most people keep evolving as they get older Yeah, it's just like because the new stuff came out isn't good because it didn't Like it would have come out when we were that age, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah We're the anime sickles and we're here to say anime is bad in a war crime way folks That's anime sickles

[00:53:47] Uh, we we done. However, I will plug before we go one more time because now I have to You know, I my head cannot wrap itself around basic concepts such as we record this now But release later in future when release things different When we release you'll be able to play my game time force x mission of lenin for free right now at any time Really? Can I give my pitch? We can give your pitch if for some reason You don't love tom

[00:54:18] sicko tom There's some tom mckenry ducks in this shit Yeah, tom mckenry did all the art and it is Out of this world, uh, every time He would send me a new piece. I would Gasp It was so fucking funny. Uh, you can get this game. You go to anime hyphen sickos hyphen podcast dot itch dot EO This will be in the description

[00:54:46] Yeah, and you can play it. It's a browser game. You don't need to download anything It's so here's what you do You are a time cop who is a duck because uh, I was like I wonder who the player character should be because I don't want it to be like too gendered Or too racialized Maybe like a duck just to you know as a placeholder And so he drew a duck and then did a bunch of uh possible Alternates that we replaced the duck with And we're going with the duck

[00:55:15] Yeah, as soon as I saw them i'm like what were we thinking that the duck wouldn't be the final It's the duck Uh, everyone else is a human you go back in time. You have to stop john lennon from being assassinated The game itself is very a playthrough is short. It'll take you about 5 10 minutes however, uh, there are 20 endings So you're going to want to replay it at least a few times because there are many different ways you can go You can change your stats to influence whether you prioritize being a genius or being a moron both of them

[00:55:45] Have their upsides and downsides, uh, and they influence your route you whether or not you're genius or a moron You're gonna take different actions obviously not gonna give it away, but there's a part where something gets run into the ground And I was so proud of tom I was like, oh wow you really You have become strong A very sideshow bob rakes type of gag. Uh, it's great. Also, it includes the first, uh

[00:56:15] Recorded rap i've ever done. I there's an original rap song performed by me Uh, I do Both voices. It's a sort of a beastie boys style where one of them is like One of them's like this you know how the beastie boys are. He's not joking. This is in in the This is sent to me out of context once Uh, yeah lots of jokes about vander graf generator Uh, the prog band that sucks ass

[00:56:45] It's it's I love this game. I put a lot into it. It's very fun. It's it's all text-based Uh, it's it's it it looks like disco elysium in the sense that there's pictures on the left and a piece of receipt paper with text On the right and you pick uh options from a list of things you want to do It's great. Uh, play it. It would make me happy. It's just fucking good Yeah, also

[00:57:10] I can't emphasize enough how good the drawings are when you see the little portrait of john lennon that tom mchenry drew You will laugh When you see so I I again i'm not gonna spoil it but like there is like an ultimate moron path Uh, that it's it's difficult to achieve Uh, it is likely that in any given playthrough you will not It will not be possible

[00:57:37] To go down this ultimate moron path. You can be stupid But not that stupid However, if you get the ultimate moron path it and this is why this is it's one of my favorites because it's so hard to get But it contains like half of the art in the game just Just for that um, and some of those backgrounds

[00:58:02] There's one in particular i'm thinking of that is just so rich. It's like 10 jokes at once I can't believe it tom mchenry the great genius of all time Follow tom mchenry and read his comics if you're not if you're not How dare you we will fight you again? That's at anime hyphen sickos hyphen podcast dot itch dot eo The game is called time force x mission of lennon You can save john lennon You might think that the joke is that you always lose

[00:58:31] and You're it happens for sure. Yeah, uh, however It is possible to save john lennon and I have seen that some people have achieved that Uh, and were very mad That they did that it worked Oh, this was oh man. There's like I I wish I hadn't saved him uh It's good. It's i'm so proud of it Play the game time force x mission of lennon Anyway, that's all the time we have for anime sickos. I've been tom and anime sicko

[00:59:00] I've been joe and anime sicko. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye

[00:59:34] Bye you