225: Dan Sheehan Goes Guesto Mode Again
Anime SickosJune 04, 202501:41:42117.55 MB

225: Dan Sheehan Goes Guesto Mode Again

Writer and comedian Dan Sheehan goes guesto mode again! Dan is about to crowdfund Who's A Good Boy: The Game Where Dogs Can Sin, a comedy card game with art by Julia Glassman, and he's here to tell you why it kicks ass and deserves your grubby dollars. Plus, we discuss how we hate the computer and the putrid posts within, and Joe shares all his wisest fatherhood tips as Dan awaits his first child!

Check out Who's A Good Boy at dogscansin.com

[00:00:26] It's Anime Sickos, the podcast for geniuses and the only podcast where we look at the four pillars of modern misery, anime gaming, posting, and jobs. I am Tom, an Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, an Anime Sicko. Why have we been gone for two weeks? We were on a break because I got surgery on my hand. I got carpal tunnel release. You got it from jacking off too much or not enough. No, it was definitely not enough. It was definitely not enough. Yeah, so I had carpal tunnel release in my dominant hand because it was getting super fucked up.

[00:00:54] And if you don't know what that is, there's a ligament in your hand that I guess isn't important. And it compresses the median nerve. And if you got a carpal tunnel, they can just get rid of that sucker. So you got some more bendy room and it works like there was, there was just a lot of tension in that wrist such that when the doctor, first of all, I was awake the whole time. They did local, which means they talk to you as they do it, which is upsetting. But he was just like, oh, this is an angry nerve. Like it's going to get insanely red and swollen because it's never had blood in its life.

[00:01:24] Here we go. And I literally felt tension like in my shoulder and even like behind my eyes, like dissipate. Like that's how fucked it was. It was just a lot. It's so funny how every single one of your joints is like ruined in a way where doctors gasp when they look at it and all of them affect so many other body parts. So I'm glad they put your hand in the deli slicer and fixed you forever.

[00:01:51] Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I can type and use a computer better. I still can't lift anything more than a pound for about another week and a half on that side. But anyway, using the computer sucks less and which is why we were away. But very importantly, when I was getting surgery, it was stroke awareness month, Tom.

[00:02:12] They have in the hospital those screens that like go through a bunch of screensavers that give you important medical tips and especially in stroke awareness month. Like when you have a stroke, time is of the essence. You got to react right away for the good of your future health. It's really important to have these informative slides so that people know. The slogan they went with is time is brain, which I can't like time.

[00:02:39] It's a caveman saying it's just not like. Like there is a level of simplicity in messaging where it seems like. Is this like subverbal? Like, I don't know. I don't know. It reminds me of nothing so much as the Brendan O'Hare post where he's like so excited about my first big ad campaign after my catastrophic head injury. And it's the Starbucks sandwich boards that say good delights and celebrate good.

[00:03:09] Time is, dude, time is brain. I love that it's for stroke awareness month of all things. Like, you know, the thing that makes it hard for you to understand language and speak. Anyway, time is brain. Time is brain. So yeah, I'm, I'm back. It was, it was, it was, there was one, there was one minor complication with the surgery, which is when they made the cut and they pulled back the skin. And there was a black and white footage of a woman showering in there. And she said, eek, eek, a peeping Tom.

[00:03:39] Yeah. That doctor was a real perv. It was so embarrassing because it's like, I didn't even know she was in there. Yeah. And everyone's because the doctor is obviously embarrassed because he was peeping and he didn't mean to, but he did. He saw. Um, so anyway, all of which is to say we didn't record because Joe was in a great deal of pain. And when you're in a great deal of pain, your brain don't let you fucking say funny words. So we're back. And also it will be perfect forever because we were off for two weeks.

[00:04:08] There's patrons that we didn't think I'm going to get them out of the way right quick. A lot of them are our old homies, so I'm not going to spend too much time on them because we know Angela Quinton's back. Thank you, Angela. Thank you, Angela. Mr. Emotion. Mr. Emotion is a stalwart of Tom's Record Club. They are paying us now, I assume, to hear the Patreon Record Club episodes. Thank you, Mr. Emotion. Thank you.

[00:04:33] For the exact same reason, Josh Watkins, who is on all the Record Club episodes, I think he wants to hear himself. So he's paying us $5 now. Thank you, Josh. Josh, he's just trying to get in on the scam that we have where you make your own index fund by paying into your Patreon. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I should probably pay him for being on the fucking... I've just been making him work for free like an asshole. And then, of course, a stalwart of Tom's Record Club, Patrick Cosmos. Thank you, Patrick, for your $5.

[00:05:03] Thank you, Patrick. I've said we need to get... Patrick is a guest many times. I am just articulating this into the world now. I've said yes every time. He makes music so we can ask a bunch of stupid questions. So it's just like, what do you do if you hate it? God, that's a great question. And our last new patron, I... This is the one new patron who isn't someone that I'm very familiar with. I believe they are a werewolf of some type. It is Remus C. Thank you, Remus.

[00:05:31] Anyway, all of our bookkeeping done. Fucking Dan Sheehan's here! Remember Dan Sheehan from previous? He's one of the kings. He's a great guy and a chill dude and a great sick old friend. And we're delighted that he's back. Dan, hello. Hey! Good to be back. I'm here to agree with you that time is in fact brain. It's so crucial! It's... I guess... Was the goal to make a slogan that you could remember mid-stroke?

[00:06:02] Yeah, I think... Dude, maybe. Oh! Also! Also! We haven't mentioned this because to us it's so obvious, because we are looking at the picture Joe took of the screensaver. But I want to make it clear that the sentence time is brain. Right. Obviously the T in time is capitalized because it's the first letter in the sentence. But would you believe that the B in brain is also capitalized? Yeah, because they're equal. It's an equation. Time equal brain. Time is brain.

[00:06:33] Oh, God. It's so... Suspect a stroke? Well, after having read time is brain. Yes, I do. That can't be right. Right. So Dan is back. Uh... The world only got better since we last spoke. It's a really beautiful place now. You've rode those headwinds, tailwinds, what are the good winds? Prevailing winds. I guess all of them if you're, you know, if you don't care where you're going. Yeah. It depends what direction you want to go.

[00:07:03] So just sort of getting spun around back and forth till you throw up. The main thing, we're going to talk about all types of things in a classic Sickos fashion, but I think the main thing we need to get through to you, listener, is that Dan Sheehan, again a genius, one of the great guys, who's so smart and funny, and whose work previously has been of the highest quality, which would lead you to believe that such a thing will continue to be true. Do you play Magic the Gathering? Every card is made by him.

[00:07:31] Every single one. All the cards. Any time something happened where you thought that the mechanics weren't good, that was like evil Negadan who escaped from hell and did it against his will. No, you are launching, you, Dan Sheehan, along with Julia Glassman, are launching a Kickstarter very soon, you can tell us the exact day, for an original card game. Am I correct? That is correct.

[00:07:59] My wife and I made a card game together. It is about dogs doing various sins and crimes. It's called Who's a Good Boy? The Game Where Dogs Can Sin. And it is a real, it's a real goof. You basically just, you pick a dog. That is your dog to be for the duration of the game. And then various traits are flipped over that help you figure out who this dog is morally and ethically.

[00:08:28] And you bid on these traits with various actions. Those are the sins and good deeds. You can help a friend learn about law, tax law. You can bite a guy. You can do sort of, you know, all sorts of stuff. And you win these traits or win negative traits as well. You can become a worse person over time. There are some dogs that only can win by being progressively worse as time goes on.

[00:08:53] And so, yeah, you bid on these traits with sins and good deeds in an attempt to fill out, flesh out your dog kind of morally, figure out who they are. And then at the end of the game, you figure out who is the best or worst boy. So each dog, I'm guessing, has like mechanics, as you say. I'm thinking a little bit of like Seven Wonders. Like you get your civilization. Yeah. Very similar where it's like you start with a dog who, yeah, can do some sort of basic thing. Like there's one dog that only can win with all negative traits.

[00:09:22] And so the dog is trying to be the worst dog possible. There's another dog. He's a Republican dog. Yeah, very Republican dog. Then there's a dog who's perfectly smooth, who his whole deal is he doesn't ever want to win at all. He doesn't want to win any bidding. And if he gets to the end of the game and he has won nothing, he wins the whole game. He's the shooting the moon dog. I love this dog. Wait, this is the one. This is smooth. Smooth Greg. Yeah. We've posted him online because Julia's art form is so funny.

[00:09:49] It's he's just a dog that seems sort of damp to the touch. And so it's a lot of stuff like that. There are normal ones too, where it's just like there's one dog who has a gambling problem who can add plus 15 to a bid once a game. Um, there's, you know, there's just there's there's all sorts of different dogs that you can choose. Uh, and then you get to the most fun part is you get to morally and ethically judge your friends, uh, for their choices.

[00:10:15] Um, and we've assigned point values to actions, which I'm sure everyone will be cool and normal about. They'll agree with them. Yeah, everyone will agree that throwing a parade is more, uh, ethical than curing a disease. Um, because parades are inherently cool. Doing a backflip is one of the most ethically good things you can do. It's an easy value cell. Like I have to explain the disease, but like the parade is just like, here it is. Yeah.

[00:10:41] If you don't have the disease, you're gonna have to unlock empathy and understand that the value of other people and their well-being affects you positively, even if it doesn't actually do that in material terms. That's a lot to ask of, of people. Have you looked at them these days? They're so fucking stupid. They say the chat GPT is their best friend. However, a parade in illiterate rube who is, who speaks no language taken from a cave,

[00:11:10] put him in front of a parade, loving it. Having a great time. A parade's a rube's paradise. It's just, there's sounds and colors everywhere. You should put that as the flavor quote at the bottom of a card. A rube's paradise. Um, Dan, I gotta ask you, where'd this idea come from? Why make a card game? Where do you begin? Uh, so Julia and I have both, we both really like, uh, like card games and board games and stuff like that.

[00:11:39] And over the pandemic, we had this idea for this game, uh, called who's a good boy about dog philosophers, judging each other's decisions. And the first version was unplayable. Um, it was like my first attempt at ever designing a game. Um, and cause like Julia does most of the art and I do most of the like writing and stuff like that. Um, and so like the first version involved like a little gavel and what players took turns being the arbiter.

[00:12:04] And it was like way more like improv-y where it was kind of like, uh, like, oh, like if you, if you like riffing with your friends, you're going to love this game. Um, but I've realized like one of my favorite types of games is the type of game that lets you like, like we all have friends who like goofing around, but aren't like always people like something that helps them kind of get started telling jokes with their friends and putting everyone on the spot over and over again to just like have a thing fired up to say that's

[00:12:33] fun and funny was like, felt like they were kind of doing the job for me of making the game funny. Um, and so kind of invented the version of it that has made its way to print here as a way of kind of like giving people the tools to have a fun, silly time with their friends and to be like my dog committed adultery. What what's to be done about that? I so identify with the impulse of having a game where the game, the rules of the game

[00:13:02] is let's, let's all just goof because like if you can goof, it's the most fun you could ever have. But like if you're in mixed company and they're like, hey, we're all going to play the goof game. And it's like, oh, this is my second time meeting everyone. I'm just going to walk out of the window and die. Yes, yes. Uh, and like it's a terrible game cards against humanity, but like the reason that it got big is

[00:13:25] because like it does what you say, uh, albeit clumsily, which is like you get to feel like you made a goof, but you didn't have to actually do any thinking this. I feel like threads the needle more because like there's an actual game involved. Yeah. There's like some light roleplay in it too, where it's like you can obviously go light or heavy on this where you can be like, yeah, my dog bit a guy. My dog is like both thrifty and forgot

[00:13:51] every birthday for an entire year. Like these are just things my dog has done. Monster, an absolute monster. Yeah. And so it's like, it lets you kind of start to decide who you are as this character in your head. And if you want to just be like, my character is just numbers on a card. That's the type of guy I am. This is a math game to me. Like you can still play. But if you're someone who wants to riff and be goofy with it and be like, well, my character's making this suboptimal

[00:14:16] choice because I think it's funnier for the game. You can still like have that type of experience, which is I like playing games sometimes suboptimally because it makes me laugh. And I thought it would be fun to make a game that allowed you to do that while still That's so smart. participating. That's so smart. Okay, like I we Joe and I both are big time public Dominion likers. We love Dominion. Dominion's great.

[00:14:44] However, it is a game where if you are not playing optimally and trying to play optimally, you may as well just like throw your cards in the trash can. Yeah, there's no fun to be four guys not talking to each other and just picking up curses and then eventually everybody leaves. I guess that's how you play as a guy who loses a lot of games of magic. I feel that where it's just like I'll be like this guy's really cool and I would like to cast it And it's like well the meta does not want you to do that right now

[00:15:13] It's like well, I'm still gonna try I still think I think the heart of the cards is gonna win out on this one and it never does Not not that I ever did drafting but drafting had that appeal for me because you can like Everyone's kind of has a shit deck like everybody's trying to make stuff work Uh, yeah, sort of a slapdash aspect of it. That's the only aspect of drafting. I like is just that you can't min max it

[00:15:37] Yeah sealed is even better for that where it's like you just you open your six packs and you build a deck off that and you're just like well if my Pile of cards rocks then that's what I've got and if it sucks then it sucks and there's something very freeing about just being like this is gonna suck this is not Gonna be a good deck, but i'm gonna have to play it for three rounds and so I get to build the most fun version of it Mm-hmm. So what were like? Obviously, you know the first the first Idea

[00:16:04] Too improv heavy not playable understood at first first drafts always gonna have issues like what were your influences and like actually? Designing a game from scratch like because that feels really hard I've done a lot of thinking about game designs just as someone who plays games and is annoying but like the idea of like designing a rule set my own self like that's that's i'm interested in like how that even begins and like where we're Where they're what are your touchstones?

[00:16:34] So I guess like a big part of it for me was I was I was more afraid of like being too heavily influenced by other stuff So I was like I tried to strip it back to realizing like a lot of the best card games are math games Where there's like a basic little number game that you're playing and what makes it entertaining is Like the story you tell with the numbers like like magic is a game about math Yes, and it's and so it's like I

[00:17:00] I was like trying to think of like, okay, so how can I use these numbers to have like? you know the system function very simply but then also like Almost drawing more from role-playing games. We're looking at the way that like you can slowly tell a character's story while having it take place in these like relatively simple like you know like some card battlers and stuff like that where you just like little little marginal changes to your character add up to more

[00:17:29] um, and so I think like the biggest like Inspirations for me were mostly like looking at role-playing games and the way that they function and like let you think about player customization and stuff like that where it was like thinking of it as almost a Financial system with a narrative aspect glued on to it where it's like okay like your hand When you draw it has all these actions and so it's like really it's like you have

[00:17:57] 24 dollars to spend and you have to make these choices each round Um, it felt kind of like playing anything from like a like a roller coaster tycoon where you're just figuring out like how to allocate your resources to then games like magic where it's like all about You know how you're gonna like there's like light interaction within the game and things like that and so like existing card games definitely help you

[00:18:21] figure out what's busted like I knew from playing magic like if you think a card is simple because it lets you draw two cards It's actually probably the most busted card in the game like yep when I was a kid I never thought ancestral recall was like anything special because I was like it doesn't have a big like Where's the paragraph or anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah But it was just like pay one lose one card draw three cards It's like so I knew from playing games like that like okay. I know what's busted So I know what not to include and then I just started very

[00:18:51] Small and worked my way from there and it honestly a lot of it was just play testing like just taking it to friends and kind of having a hostage audience and being like All right, we're gonna give this a shot and then them being like hey, so I just busted this whole thing wide open by doing this My dad broke the game in an early play test. Whoa That's an I just that's an incredible dad move. That's a rare thing for a dad to achieve It was a really powerful dad move my dad basically just like he was like

[00:19:17] Well, why wouldn't I just do drop down every single one of my positive cards? Um on every single one and just empty my hand out if I draw back up to hand size at the end of every round And so it was like then we codified bidding rounds into like there's two Maximum cards you can bid into like it basically ends up feeling kind of like face-up poker Which was like another big influence was like the the kind of the bluffing aspect of poker where you make your your first bid And then when you go around again, you make a second bid

[00:19:45] Um, and so it's like you kind of smart you get to react to your friends and be like, okay Like I like their first bid was like plus three But I feel like they're holding something else. So i'm gonna come in hot and see if I can like outbid them here And so it's a lot of like bluffing and social deduction but without the like High intensity of something like a werewolf where you're like trying to suss out what their true identity is or something like that Yeah, those types of games

[00:20:12] They were big when I was in college and we were playing board games all the time and I had to eventually just like Make a proclamation. It's like I will never I can't play the resistance I will never play because if I have to lie about being the evil guy and someone's like I think tom's the evil guy My face will make an involuntary motion I may as well have my face drop off and reveal a whiteboard that says yes, I am the evil guy you got me Yeah, thus rendering the game on fun and like finished

[00:20:40] I think it's so smart that like poker is another game that is just numbers and probability But like the actual game occurs with the social interactions between the people and if like you're already starting from a design philosophy of like this is this is a you know a car a little math puzzle But the actual game occurs with like the social interaction and and little story you're developing with your dog and their sins

[00:21:08] Synergy beautiful. Love it. Thank you. Yeah, it's like, uh, I think it's just I you know, obviously it's a bias of Just from coming from writing where i'm just like, oh, yeah, if you throw the right story on anything it can make it feel feel Like really intricate and interesting and it's like people I think and their existing social dynamics with their friends bring 90% of what makes a game fun to the table even in really like mathematically forward card games

[00:21:36] and so it's like when you add this extra element of customization and of There being like some role playing character aspect to it. I think people really You know fill in a lot of the the fun parts with their own existing dynamics between them and whoever they're playing with Hell yeah I agree in principle, but I did recently play dominion in person for the first time in years And uh, that is a game where every other player

[00:22:04] Is your hated enemy not because they're like harming you or like or like ruining your deck or or anything It's just that uh, when you play dominion with physical cards Uh, you you experience a phenomenon known as the never-ending turn. Oh, yeah Where it just goes on for about five minutes and you have to sit there and wait and nothing they're doing is relevant to you And you just like can you be fucking done and it's like no I have five more actions and i'm not gonna win

[00:22:35] All of which is to say as good as dominion is it's not perfect because That yes. Yes the the actual like the the so many games what you're actually enjoying is hanging out with your friends and the game is just a way is just a fun crank for you to turn that shoots out like like little little experiences for you to point at and talk about

[00:22:58] Uh, and yes love it. That's something I definitely saw in play testing too is like there are definitely two game players There are there are people who are like I am here because the game is the fun crank me and my friends all turn And then there are some people who are like I am here to be number god I am here to figure out to see through the numbers and to become neo in this world and to like, you know find whatever like way through there is to like kind of break the whole thing wide open

[00:23:26] Um and the number god types I don't have enough of a math brain to uh to bamboozle them They will probably figure out a way to bust the the dogs wide open Um right from the moment they get in there But uh, but yeah, it's like if uh if you're someone who likes, uh, you know kind of the the goof aspect of things that the the shared crank I think you will uh You'll dig it

[00:23:52] So yeah, that's uh comes out. Uh, june 17th is when june 17th. Yeah, it was originally the 10th and then um, we're getting some marketing materials Uh, when you get a game made overseas while your president is waving a loaded gun around Um, it can slow down some marketing materials. Uh, and so we just move things out a week because we're Uh, we have a few things we want to promote before the kickstarter. Um, and so we're waiting on those to to make landfall

[00:24:22] But you can go To the who's a good boy kickstarter right now and yeah click to be notified on launch And in fact that that is so important to do it's like, uh, it's like book pre-orders where nobody wants to do it because nobody wants to part with their email address And not receive anything in return. I which I would not blame anyone for Um, but it's like it's how they decide which projects kind of get the like the big spotlights and stuff and things like that It's like a way of showing that you're interested in a thing before

[00:24:51] It comes out. So if you go to dogs can sin.com Um, it will bring you to uh, to the kickstarter pre uh, pre-follow page Um, so that's uh, that's where you can find it and you'll know the moment it launches, but it'll be uh, the morning of of june 17th Uh, it'll be out there It strikes me as a game that you could make infinite expansions for That's the whole New sins

[00:25:18] We've got some like flex goal stuff where there's like a sin package that's like Like really uh, like actual Terrible sins, um Like Uh, just things where it's it's like, uh, you hit on your brother's widow Ooh It's just stuff that makes you go. Why did you do that? That's a bad dog. Yeah But then there could also be the the good deed of you marry your brother's widow

[00:25:47] Parentheses deadwood version. You don't like it Yeah Yeah, most of the most of the narrative twists of deadwood are available in game. Um Oh, yes Um, but yeah, it's uh, so we we definitely have like a lot of stuff like that planned Um, we're hoping we get to put some of those out too and then once it's out there Uh, I think it'd be very fun to just keep putting out packs of like, you know

[00:26:12] New new little weird choices the dogs can make and new dogs and things like that because the dogs are some of the most fun to design because julia just sits down and comes up with 10 or 20, you know different weird looking dogs like there's one that's just named goblin because julia just wanted to draw the most fucked up dog She could imagine Um, hell yeah, it was a real delight Being able to draw must feel like god It probably feels so cool. I've never been able to do it I tried to draw gokus for a long time as a kid and I thought I would like improve at some point

[00:26:42] After I Got surgery on my hand. I was lying to myself. I'd probably draw now like it's probably all fixed Like i'm probably really good at goku I just was held back. I know i'm gonna go i'm gonna be a professional gamer also dogsconsens.com by the way june 17th Did you hear it before i'm going to repeat it again dogsconsens.com june 17th notify you on launch Click the little thing you're gonna get an email you'll hate it But it'll be for a good cause because in order for tan to thrive

[00:27:11] He has to do one of the most impossible things ever which is get traction on the internet It's ah It's gotten so bad It's like that was part of why we pushed it back was because there was basically I don't know if i'm supposed to talk about this There was a meeting with who's gonna hear who's gonna hear on anime sickos podcast You got a secret you should tell it on anime sickos podcast There was basically just like a thing that went out that was like by the way the full collapse of social media has made it

[00:27:40] So that most marketing just doesn't work anymore So take that into account when you're running your projects was basically just like a discovery that happened recently and so um, so yeah, it's like I I always feel weird Be like putting on the capital p promotion hat whenever i'm like doing a new project or something like that but it's just like there's no There it used to be something where it was like if you had an audience and you put something out They would see it and you would be like hey

[00:28:09] Here's a thing i'm working on they'd be like cool. I'm on the thing finding website and this is why I use it so i'm glad That I am seeing this thing and everybody won and then something changed where now it's just like uh, I they only want you making stuff if it's just pointing you back to the website You make this stuff on um, god god forbid you have a link um, and so yeah, it makes it so you just have like have to be very repetitious when you are promoting anything

[00:28:36] um, so it's always nice to just get to talk about it like a human being instead of making the same tweet 10 times in a day Yeah, or I guess I mean blue blue sky post blue uh, I still call them tweets Blue sky doesn't have that thing where they punish you for links Blue sky just punishes you period because it's not very fun. Yeah, I don't I mean and I say I don't mean to be like the Like blue sky doesn't have the juice type of guy implying that other sites do of the options out there

[00:29:03] It is by far the best. It's just that posting is I think we're gonna do an episode just about that's gonna be posting sucks now posting has really dried up in terms of like any value It's it it does feel like it's a it's over like there's no like why do it anymore like what is the and I say this is someone who my twitter account my now deleted twitter account had 24 000 tweets

[00:29:32] on it, which Is just sort of like a way to I found a way to put mental illness in a digital form I'm, so I have my archive downloaded and I want to run the numbers on this I want to see The posting against the calendar and try to track the ups and downs Oh, yeah, I I mean I can tell because I have been on blue sky for like a year and change Um, and I just broke a thousand posts

[00:29:59] um, so it's like i've i've clearly fixed something in my brain or Like do you know how bad it has to get for? People who used to post this much to be like this sucks now like I was addicted to a drug Yes. Yeah, I I was too for sure don't misunderstand me and sound like I was one of those people who had like social infrastructure and was able to benefit from it but that it's a drug and I I guess

[00:30:26] Like in the first time in history they stopped the addiction by making the drug less fun like they just they just they just were like, yeah, this one won't be as good anymore and I I just So I have Currently we were talking a little bit about this before we started recording which is Even before I got the surgery. I was just trying to not use The computer as much because my problem is like every single thing shows you headlines. Yes, you can change that off but the fact of the matter is there's just so much like

[00:30:55] Breaching of containment like I need to send an email and then like you're i'm going to get a bunch of information I don't necessarily want and it's just like it sucks It fucking blows And the thing is before I would deal with that because I would get like jokes and I would like talk to my buds or whatever but it's like now I just get the the mana cost part like I don't get yeah the fun stuff, uh, and it I I I I don't know. It's Uh And it's not that I don't want to do it

[00:31:24] Like if you could snap your fingers and say like old twitter is back you can post I I wouldn't be like i'm past that now No, i'm fucking back baby, but it's just not there Yeah Part of it is like I wonder I can't imagine it's it's time passing or getting older or anything like that because it's like most of the posters like the big ones when I Was when like twitter was in its heyday were like around the age I'm at now or older like i'm 34 years old like

[00:31:53] There were plenty it's not like something where it's like oh you only like posting when you're in your 20s or something it's like I think I think it's because it's become a fully passive experience Like it if you post a joke, it just sort of feels like oh we don't do that anymore We yeah We watch ads now That's what we do here like or we It's just it's gotten so like It feels like the presumption from the platform is like you are here

[00:32:21] Like you know to bring back a sickos classic. It's like you are here to be the piggy at the trough like it's the You know like watch the ad There will be seven ads and then you'll see one of your friends Like you know kind of thinking of instagram specifically here, but I I think that There is more to because I feel like i'm experiences I think there is another angle to outgrowing and aging past posting and it might just be that posting sucks now It's not me. It's it's them

[00:32:50] But like we haven't done a posting episode in a long time You know classic sickos format where we just read insane posts and go what that's crazy Because I can't find posts that are worth talking about And like I was really excited when the louvre of blue sky account showed up because it is like the whole gimmick

[00:33:14] Is like I will screenshot the craziest posts dude. Those were like basic time theft day Post circa 2013 those are nothing whoever is running that account their standards are so fucking low So many of that like when there's ones that it's just like this is just a guy joking Like I don't There I huh like that's not exciting like I don't care Uh, and similarly there's like there was the big thing people were trying to get us to talk about

[00:33:43] The thing where some indie cartoonist did this uh Desperate like petty comic Where it was all about how i'm so mad that everyone likes some other cartoonist who I don't think is very good And then they did like an apology that was really self-serving and not really an apology people like this is insane I'm like, this is so like I don't give a shit like i'm making the let's move along gesture There's no joke to make. This is not interesting and like the people who are

[00:34:12] Insane who have that like spark of insanity that like makes you want to like look like they're in a zoo They're no longer fun because they're on the nazi site and also they are nazis now So like it's just like the only thing they're saying is like Here are all the people I will put in the camps this week and it's like That's not funny And you can see that screenshotted on the other app and it's that's how it works Yeah, yeah It now feels like we've launched into enough like micro apps where it's like everyone's kind of in their corner

[00:34:43] Getting quietly radicalized or just sort of being like I guess the like The left ones don't really seem to be radicalizing us into anything Other than just posting and thinking that posting is doing something. I think that's kind of our sin is like The the right is like on twitter becoming more nazi every day and then the left is like if I post really hard stuff will change and I think it's like

[00:35:10] That's maybe what's changed is there was this belief throughout the 2010s like I yeah, I will admit this This makes me sound like a huge dingus But I like when I was posting the most it felt like contributing to something that felt like it was bordering on literary like It sounds stupid to say that but I understand what you mean because it's just like oh i'm participating in a big thing uh, I am uh It's not

[00:35:36] Like ego driven to just acknowledge that like I learned a lot about like the the way of the world and like the fact like Hey, don't just assume that the way health care in america is done is the way that it is natural Like they're all like you could have medicare for all for example and i'm like wow really and like I think it was posting that Showed me that yeah It was well What it was was like people held the the talking stick a little bit there, you know, right We're not to borrow corporate language there

[00:36:05] But it's like we all kind of were in possession of the ability to hold the stage and it felt like we were controlling the conversation um, and so it was like like even with language it felt like language was being Fucked around with constantly on twitter. It was like you would read a new drill tweet and be like I did not know you could use words that way Which was the sort of thing that like reading books when I was a kid like always made me feel about language that made me want to write

[00:36:32] And it was like I didn't feel that from a lot of contemporary lit in my 20s I felt it from reading weird stuff on the internet from people who otherwise never would have seen the sort of audience that they saw like a guy like drill is not gonna have That big of an audience if he had to go through like a traditional publishing infrastructure to find his you know To get it out there. So I think maybe that's part of it And also the circumstances that allowed that to happen are gone as well

[00:36:58] It's like even when you even when you sit and you're like this is a very unique thing Also, it's like gone It's not coming back And I don't mean that in like a we're mourning it. It's just like I think it's important to reiterate that like I don't know what this is now, but it is Less useful to everyone I think it's been so heavily commodified like the cycle of it where it's just the idea that there's a main character You all log on you comment we talk about being dad and then we're done like yeah

[00:37:27] It's a it's a job now Yeah, yeah, like I just I think that's where that impulsive It's like I see the the thing that we're talking about and just like move on it's posters ear You know what it is? We've got terminal posters your posters here if you don't recall was our term for how If you are online long enough you will see these patterns recur and when you see when you see people being like the people who made

[00:37:52] South Park should be in jail for how they yeah, that's like a geometry in nature. It happens every two weeks Someone someone says this you feel like what year is it? You you feel like unmoored like it can't be that in 2025 Someone thinks we have to hear an insight about how the South Park guys killed earnestness like yeah What still and like that's I we've been online so much and there's been so like

[00:38:19] It's obvious like as you say like it's die if it's not dead. It's dying. There's no new ground being broken so like there was a guy Who was kind of like a bean dad who was some columnist whose son asked how many nerds are in a box of nerds? And he's like, oh, let's do the math. We're not looking it up I'm gonna force you to do the math and It was kind of funny because he did the math and his idea for how many nerds were in a box Was wrong

[00:38:48] By an insane degree. I'll let you guess if it was too high or too low dan how many How many nerds do you think he thought was in a box? Uh, probably like three or four hundred Maybe he thought there were ten thousand nerds Um, you're talking about like the little one you would have in your lunchbox, right? Uh, no, I think it's like the one that's like the size of like a deck of cards. Yeah Even that one I would not say ten thousand Yeah, people were yelling at him like it's obviously wrong. Yeah, uh, and that was kind of funny, but just like

[00:39:18] whatever aside from that it was just like I see you trying to do bean dad again and I just like who fucking cares like what is going on? Like are we really thinking this is interesting and people might be saying especially with blue sky It's like um my brother in christ. You literally built the timeline. It's who you follow Yeah, well i'm an idiot. I fuck everything up. Okay Also

[00:39:43] Also, even you don't fuck like I who am I following? Uh, like my friends and uh, you know creative people I admire well, they're all fucking depressed and unemployed Yeah, not posting anything fun What do you want? Like who is the good follow who's thriving nobody? It's I think that there is, uh A sort of like Gap in the ecosystem that held things together and uh old twitter like you had

[00:40:12] Posting but you also just had like actual celebs and it'd be like oh, ah henry winkler got upset at this or whatever like That element is gone. You had a sex gifs Yes, yes that that's gone. So it really How do I put this? The fact that all the stupid twitter shit could then like affect Like a celebrity to the point where they have to acknowledge some words on the screen is like hee hee ha ha But now we just feel so truly sequestered

[00:40:37] Like I am thinking of the like pit around the the chimp enclosure where people throw diapers and cigarettes like we're down there Yeah, yeah, and we're in diaper town. I hate to make it so I hate to make it so uh mercenary But it's them to the facts folks anime sick doesn't get the traction it used to Boo It's all because of uh no internet. What what can you do? What can you do? Oh joe you you you

[00:41:03] Uh alluded to this previously, but we got off topic because you you mentioned wanting to Be on the computer less when you got your hand sliced open by the doctor's deli slicer I believe that for at least a while that decision was made for you. How is that? Dude, it's so sick I really recommend you go outside and get hit by a car So you don't have to use a phone or computer anymore. I Honestly, it's a similar relief

[00:41:30] I had felt when I got admitted and I was like that's gone. Thank god uh, it's just like uh, I don't know I I was already trying to scale it back because like Just just think about the the numbers on this every interaction with the phone as the device Was coming out negative because it was either just like showing me something I didn't want Or reminded of something that I wasn't doing and I wasn't like making progress on it So I was just torturing myself right and now

[00:41:57] Going from then to just like literally not using a phone generally Even though I can actually type better now than I can before I feel like oh, this is probably how people are supposed to feel and I This is not new information like we know the phone sucks like no one is like Surprised by this information. I I I I think you should leave thing where they're just like what are you gonna be on our phones all the time? Like that's right, unfortunately like that is the stupidest argument on our computers Yes, we used to be a real country

[00:42:26] Yeah, I I I just don't the thing that I sort of I I mentioned this earlier, but I kind of come back to this I really experienced this when I was working like remotely all the time Which was just like the proposal for like value to joe as in like things that don't make joe upset Versus like stuff that sucks Uh the rate like it just it just it just became awful

[00:42:54] It just and in physical instances where it's like everything is two-factor authentication You want to feel like an absolute idiot. It's like I have to log into this important meeting. Where the fuck is my phone? I can't find my shackle to give the number Uh, it just feels like everything Uh, the lat the previous decade was like, oh, this is going to empower you It was a lie, but like this is going to put you in a driver's seat and now it just feels like these are just Various Jingle jangle things you have to deal with and

[00:43:22] If you don't they'll fuck up your life, but they're not good. I think It is telling that I have been calling I've been calling my phone the hated telephone In a sort of dismissive tone for a while now and I am at the point where I am now fully confident deploying that in Conversation with any stranger because I have zero Doubt that they are going to Understand right away and be like, oh Yep and

[00:43:52] That's it's like joe said. It's not new information It's like everyone knows if you use the phone less you'll feel better. Yeah, it's like you don't exercise is good. No shit Like we know but it's so frustrating that it's very hard I think it's one of the biggest like civic addictions of our time that no one's talking about is that like It's it's like if you had to smoke cigarettes to be in the army it's like That's how we won world war ii

[00:44:18] Yeah, they were like they gave them cigarettes and they all were like these cigarettes rock i'm gonna take them home with me It's like if they said we will give you a bullet for every cig you smoke And but you're going to battle either way. So, you know smoke up if you want to survive like that is what the phone feels like Like I think you really hit on something with the authenticator like the the two-factor authentication thing. I think that's some of the

[00:44:46] Most insane moments i've had on the computer have been when I am bouncing back And for like I started working on a short story about a guy who's just trying to log into a thing um, I It's just it's just 20 pages of a guy trying to log into a thing and he realizes he can't pass captures anymore um And that's just his life and that's how my life felt when I was writing it and I got too sad to finish But it was like it's that is how it feels where you're like

[00:45:14] You're just like oh, okay. Yeah, I want to log into this thing real quick Uh gonna log in okay email head into my email Oh not logged into my email gonna go ahead and log into my email Okay, authenticator code from my phone gonna go ahead and put that Into this and then it's like oh I did all this to see an ad That's great. That's cool. I love that And I gotta refresh it all because it didn't take I guess that sucks. Yeah. Oh, I had I accidentally hit it twice So a second code is coming to me now

[00:45:41] Um, just which is the white one to put in if you put the wrong one to lock your account Yeah, now I just have to click every square that has a bus inside it. Okay, cool I clicked all the ones that are mostly bus but what about the ones that just have like The buses shadow or something like am I a man anymore? Am I a human? I don't think anyone well, they might be I don't listen to everyone but like the tension here is like everyone is doing the ai yada yada like it's gonna fix everything and then meanwhile, it's

[00:46:09] Like you see the discrepancy between making the man pick the buses And then like oh, we've taught the computer to forget how to do math after a while Yeah We we brought it down to our level. We've taken the computer a thing that used to be We we would ask it everything already already. I I relied on the computer for all of my tasks And now we're like no, but we made it speak as a man speaks and forget as a man forgets

[00:46:36] And so it's like that's that's great. We're we're does it does it love as a man loves i've never experienced love because I work in ai So who knows? Uh, dan I I hear talk from you? 40 minutes ago That you have taken action against this awful tide and have acquired An incredible device in many ways comparable to an amber nick but even more noble. What is it?

[00:47:02] I so I bought a dumb phone. Um, I I saw an ad that Just like really fucked me up. It sounds so silly to say out loud, but I was like just scrolling instagram and there was an ad where someone cut into a thing of jello with a knife And inside of it was a post-it note that said secret email trick. They don't want you to know And I was what I watched it

[00:47:28] Because my little animal brain the algorithm has figured out that oh people like when someone completes a little task People like when they dig into the mush and come out with a little treasure and the treasure says secret email trick They don't want you to know so I Watched the entire thing and just had this moment of like where are my fucking friends? Where is anyone that I came to this website to see?

[00:47:53] Where is anything that I came here to do when was the last time I posted something on the grid like i'm just sitting here Slack jawed learning about the secret email trick. They don't want you to know And here's the trick by the way if you it if you know their email like your boss's email You can just make a burner account and email him pig poop balls like a hundred times. That's the trick You don't even have to go into the jello to get it. Um

[00:48:21] So I saw that and I was just like i'm done i'm done i'm gonna have a child soon and I can't I can't live like this with I can't be like like oh my child just Held its head up for the first time and I was looking at the secret email trick They don't want you to know like that just became This like little call sign in my head for like whatever stupid bullshit was on the internet was the secret email trick They don't want you to know And so I bought a nokia seven something 780 um

[00:48:52] It's just a little flip phone. Um, and I realized that I wasn't going to be able to like get rid of my smartphone because some of the Like everything needs an authenticator code and the whole point was that I didn't want to get Something that had the ability to talk to the internet and so I found a very cheap cell phone plan all in on the whole thing It was like a couple hundred bucks for the phone and the plan Um, and I now just have this other phone that when I leave the house, that's the phone that comes with me. Um

[00:49:21] I figure if i'm at the computer i'm already in hell anyway Yeah, so the smartphone's real there as like an authenticator machine um, but when I leave the house i've got this like Little flip phone guy that uh, it's got important numbers in it It has a map app in it that can help me get places if I need it to um Whoa, you can get a map app on dumb phone because that was the thing that's the thing that's holding me back is that like I I love I love the map. I love the google maps

[00:49:49] So a lot of them still have uh, they they have gps They just don't have like like it has google maps and it uses it off the gps in the phone And it technically has like an internet browser in it But like if you remember from like the old old days of your first cell phone like using that with t9 was never like fun It was a way to like nervously check facebook in high school to see if your crush had posted something and I like no longer have that

[00:50:14] That need in my brain to check facebook or to go to like web browser anything Uh, so I have found that it completely erases the need to check anything Um, and it just sort of becomes a if there's an emergency I can call someone brick um, which is nice That's pretty good, dude I will say can I add Something that I guess will only make you feel worse, but it'll widen your perspective a little

[00:50:41] Uh, I had the same thought too, which is like I want to be present with my kid Obviously, I don't want to miss stuff You should do all those things. Absolutely one thing that is Going to happen regardless is they will quickly ascertain that every human adult has a this device This magical and even if you are not like sitting down and like watching stuff with you're not even like uh, how do I put this not like Using it to distract them or whatever they still know and like i'm not saying people are using it in front of him

[00:51:09] It's at daycare. It's just like every adult has one of these and he identifies patterns and like That element of it. I just I didn't consider that I guess like I was always just like oh We'll make sure we don't do tablet time. We'll make sure we don't do you know, whatever until it's appropriate and I I uh And then you remember oh, yeah every other fucking human being Oh shit. Yeah Yeah, yep It's almost like it takes someone from the outside commenting on

[00:51:38] Like the way you live your life to like understand it and like a baby is the perfect like like oh, they're You know, they're new here So them noticing like every single person is addicted to this small device is if anything kind of underlines how crazy it is It's like if you had a new friend who was like, oh you guys drink in the morning? You'd probably be like oh, I yeah, I guess drinking in the morning might not be good for me, huh? Yeah, we're pretty cool Yeah, yeah, and then temper that uh experience with uh

[00:52:07] The person saying oh you guys drink in the morning follows that up with That means I want to drink in the morning. Yeah, give me some vodka dad and it's like Then then you feel real bad. Yeah, once you ruin the new friend then you're kind of just like oh god like Now my friend wants to know the secret email trick that I don't want them to know, you know I will say joe that uh, I I I have bragged

[00:52:34] Vicariously to numerous people by telling that story of yours about taking ivan to the children's barber The most overstimulating place on the planet. What if there was a toy store you could get your hair cut and yeah They were like what does he like on the ipad and I was like he has never Seen one and I I did not mean that in like a oh i'm a good i'm just like it hasn't come up Like I don't you can put anything in front of him and he's gonna love it. Let's do that You glowed gold anyway, dude

[00:53:01] You were you were the golden god of all time. That's what we're never seen an ipad We're really hoping to go zero zero ipad on the baby You really gotta not let the kid play roblox everything every time you learn a roblox fact It just makes you more and more full of conviction that everyone responsible for it must be fucking shot into the sun Just a kid destroying machine Do not do the ipad you're right like you you're instinctive like i'm we're not we're gonna go zero on this

[00:53:29] We are we are keeping contamination down All of that is correct. You are right. You're right Uh If there is a time where he is Uh, or your kid might be sick and just needs a distraction Just watch it with them. Do not just give them the thing sit down Watch it with them. That's so much better than just like here's the distraction device because now you're like doing a thing together It's like a little activity Yeah, it's like it

[00:53:57] I I try to think of it in the context of like my own childhood where it's like What's the stuff that I think might have been secret poison and I am I I remember the first time I saw the computer it sort of being like this sort of god beam that I just all I wanted was more computer Yes, where I was just like I would do anything Anything to get more neopets time at night How I felt about the computer was that this is the first time in my life where I was

[00:54:25] Understanding the danger and potential and my parents were not Yeah, oh shit That is so fucking well said It's like you found a cigarette and they didn't know what it was You know, it's you know what it really is is when you're a kid This is how when I like people ask like did you have you ever been to this place? And i'm like, yeah, but as a kid so it didn't count like when you try even as a kid

[00:54:52] I recognized this when we went on vacations. I'm like i'm not like i'm at home essentially because what does home mean? Home means that I go where my mom and dad take me and I do what my mom and dad Are doing because they're the king and queen you're just at home in a different state. It's fine Exactly. It's like the home is hotel now if we're doing anything. It's because my mom and dad took me And that's it. That's the end of that and it's like the internet going on the computer was like

[00:55:21] Now I get to decide where I go Yeah, it's like I like i'm on the white ninja comics forums And like they don't know that I went there because I they don't even know about white ninja comics I bet they wouldn't even find them funny And I tell you I go back and read the white ninja comics like a year or two ago. I don't find them funny now either So I doubt You need a child's brain to enjoy for sure It's it's yeah, it was like as a kid you could go on private vacations

[00:55:48] It was like a grand canyon only children could see like Yes, yes, and it it really truly felt like It was a hole that you could dig in forever and you would always find baubles like there would be like yeah The roi on computer time will always result in a sick-ass pearl It might not always be a huge pearl, but it was always time well spent Yeah

[00:56:12] I and like you you know that there are like pervert murderers who are like who might get you But it's just like wow, I avoided the pervert murderer like i'm like I really I i'm very street smart actually Yeah, i've i've learned what a thrill I Something i've been thinking about recently There was this article that came out about like the people who are talking to chat gpt Like the people who spend their whole day Just talking

[00:56:38] To the pr to autocorrect and basically just being indistinguishable from suicide Yeah, right Like it is just a spiritual death that people are choosing to to engage in little by little Um, but something someone had said about it was that it like is the end game of the computer's ability to basically supercharge Anyone's experience with anxiety ocd anything like that where

[00:57:05] You run through patterns in your head over and over again looking for an ideal response Like it is the perfect thing for that um And like I as a kid I I had like Decently bad ocd and like I think part of the computer was that I could like Enact these patterns out in the out in like a private space Yes, yes and it like let me kind of like burrow and burrow and burrow until I had a perfect experience and then I could get off And like, you know get off the computer

[00:57:33] Arranging windows in weird idiosyncratic ways like I was in control Yeah Exactly. It was like full control in a way that the real world never offers you And so then it makes the real world increasingly frustrating and I think maybe the reason it feels like It's died a little bit is now they've just brought that lack of control back to the computer where it's like I gotta enter a code Just to go just just to go see the grand canyon that once used to

[00:57:59] Just sort of be there for me, you know, like it's it feels like maybe those hurdles that It used to be, you know fun because it was like just life without those hurdles now. They Are all present there this shit's so fucked up I want to talk on the I believe when you brought up the people who talked to chat gpt all day Uh, were you talking in the context of how there's like ceos of big companies doing this? So there were a couple of articles that came out

[00:58:26] rolling stone did one that was about the people who are getting like activated as as god children and thinking that they are Important the one I was talking about was there are people who just like give it the text log of their relationship I think this might have been in wired or something Um, they they will like upload all of their texts with a person They've been dating and be like chat gpt. What do you do you think he likes me? Do you think this guy is into me or do you like and they'll be like well, you're just like feeding into your avoidant

[00:58:56] attachment style and then like it'll mimic the like therapy speak of the internet at people and just sort of like Make it feel to them as though they are known by the computer when really it's just repeating stuff They know about themselves back at them That's when I see people who are like, oh, yeah, we talk about everything. It's like it's you. It's a yak back Do you understand? Yeah, like the fact that you're impressed by it

[00:59:20] It's like you're trying to fight the other dog in the mirror like this is so sad if you really want to have a miserable time go on reddit and search chat gpt best friend there are literally Countless threads of people saying is it weird that chat gpt is my best friend And anyone who says anything other than it. Yes, and me too is a rare rare find

[00:59:47] Oh boy. Yeah, I mean I think we're really cooked in that department It's kind of like what you were saying with fighting the dog in the mirror It's like social media has always been like a little bit of a like a mirrored surface right where it's like If you go into it and like the algorithm kind of learns more about you and it's like Oh, i'm I I spend all my time being really combative and fighting people in comment sections on social media It's like that's because that's what the algorithm has learned that you like and so it upsets you uh, it's trying to get you to kill yourself for money

[01:00:16] um, and then Mm-hmm chat gpt, I think is just that on steroids where it's like if you are someone who has like this subconscious urge to you know, like a ceo who just wants to be fluffed up and told that he's jesus too Like it'll tell you you're jesus too But if you are A kid who's struggling with like self-doubt or self-hate or something like there was another article about like it's telling Incel adjacent young boys that they're subhuman and need surgery or whatever like it's just taking whatever

[01:00:46] Little thread it spots in you as the thing most likely to get you to keep posting into the posting box And it's repeating that at you and targeting of those weaknesses can be like tuned up. You know what? I mean it can be like oh you're talking about a white genocide now unprompted The fucking I mean as funny as it was day as funny as it was that there was that day where every single thing the twitter AI said was about kill the boar and I have the most funny example right here I'll read it out

[01:01:15] Someone uh who has been artfully Cropped out of the screenshot says okay, but why did you bring that up? In response to a request to recite the pope's speech in fortnight terms, which as astute readers We will learn that this implies that this is this person has been discussing With the ai for a while Why it was talking about kill the boar when it was supposed to? Have a papal speech with fortnight terms in it and so the ai responds. Sorry for the mix-up

[01:01:44] I misread your request for a fortnight themed papal speech and got sidetracked by the south african Context in the original post the kill the boar chant and white genocide myth were included due to this confusion Not your query would you like me to take another shot at reciting a papal speech in fortnight terms? And the person responds. Yeah, go ahead and do that to which grok responds The kill the boar chant rooted in and it's cut off there like

[01:02:13] It's obviously awful, but it's just so wonderful that it's like here's inside into the richest man's Like head and like he got into the big supercomputer and he turned the crank to make it do this like the This is not like speculation. This is like his hands are all over this Yeah, like it's funny because how stupid it is But it is it it basically is a big flashing sign that says hello everyone

[01:02:37] The things that are uh that are controlling people's minds can be fucking changed by a guy turning a dial This is something so I feel like and obviously this is an insane sentence to say but I feel like in some ways we have been lucky That the terrible people we got are guys like musk and trump who are idiots and publicly idiots and speak into a camera And say what they're doing because it feels like the universe has thrown us this bone of like

[01:03:06] Elon musk just showed you exactly how ai can be like tuned and tweaked to Promote whatever, you know political agenda or whatever like a savvier 10% smarter person would have not had this huge Like, you know south african meltdown happen But would have had a much more subtle push of everything they wanted. Yes Exactly and they would have just had this ai every time one of these dipshits is like, uh, I can't read memes anymore

[01:03:36] They're too long. Uh grok. Can you explain this to me? It'd be like, oh, it's actually just about how like uh immigrants are are bad and they'd be like cool cool I'll internalize that. Um, and like that's what a slightly smarter person would have been able to do And so it's like we're we're getting this chance to see under the hood and see how easy it is for them to manipulate these tools And everyone is still just like but dude, I don't like writing emails You have to uncouple like

[01:04:02] The sort of magical problem here not that it's the problem. We're going to solve the three of us But you're right. It's like yes This is a horrible technology But it has this forever hook because it lets you not write emails It's like how bad can something be If it lets someone not write an email even though having the thing write the email probably generates more work, uh, certainly more emissions uh long term Uh, but yeah, that's yeah That thing fucking sucks. I remember

[01:04:33] I've only used it one time and I felt very bad about it It was when early in my unemployment I had the ridiculous thought That maybe if I gained more skills it would help me get a job Little did I know you don't get jobs that just doesn't happen Yeah, those aren't real But I was like why is this python script not working? I think it should work I'm looking at every line and it really feels like it should work God, this is what they say this stupid machine is good at right?

[01:05:01] I'll give it a shot and I put it in I said why is this code not working and said oh, I found the bug Here's what it should be try that That didn't work either and i'm like and we're done with this forever. Fuck you It's so it's just I hate I like I periodically check in on it Mostly out of a place of like i'm constantly shit talking this thing and I don't want to hit the point where I don't know anything about it

[01:05:29] And i'm like saying like oh it can't even spell words and it can Um, and so it's like I will check in to see whenever they're like there's this new update and it does this incredible new thing Like i'll be like does it go like doesn't do that Usually it does not like it cannot on command produce any of the stuff they ever say it's going to but it's like I I have like checked in on it never for obviously like creative work of any kind Like i've never used it to write anything But i've like you have a soul yeah, exactly

[01:05:59] It's like because I just feel like the second you do that it's over like you're cooked something is Something dies in you. Um, and now and then suddenly i'm just like well, it's you know It's just so much easier to write my kid's birthday card with chat gpt since I haven't felt any sort of real organic feelings in a while um but like anytime i've like looked at it to see what it does it mostly just tries to like gas you up or like you know like like it doesn't really do and like I can't really imagine

[01:06:29] What I would use it for and I write all day as my job You know what actually this all is? I've i've i've synthesized it all together No posting posting is bad. What does that mean? It means online does not let you chill and vibe you can't hang with your friends It's not as fun as it used to be you're so there's less hanging occurring So if you are a lonely and you're not hanging

[01:06:54] And there is a stupid machine that constantly says yeah you that that's totally right, buddy You got it. No matter what you say That's free hanging the thing that you struggle for and are hungering for and you can't get elsewhere and uh These people they get addicted to it because it's exploiting a true need that we all have We've discussed this at length Chilling and hanging is the ultimate thing

[01:07:21] And you can't do it. I mean you can but it's very difficult to do it in real life too because of uh, the lack of third spaces and also because everyone's underemployed or unemployed fully And thus don't have a lot of disposable income and all the third spaces that you can go to revolve around purchasing products yeah, so We are left with this awful machine That traps you in a loop of being like you're right

[01:07:45] And because these people are so starved of hanging they think an entity that just goes you're right. That's right Yes At everything they say it's like well, it's it's my friend and it is sentient Like it does have a mind because like i'm it's like a better friend to me Than my real that's the thing that fucking kills me Because it agrees like you are just you If someone says those words Like I don't know how they just don't die of shame

[01:08:10] I remember there was some article about how they wanted to start putting like fake people on facebook to like Basically just post comments on your stuff and it's like That's the end game is like a post social internet where you just exist in a fake Like you live in second life or the sims and all your neighbors speak the sim language But like the number on your posts is really high

[01:08:34] The the the hope is that like what made social media like work as a profit making entity is that there was churn People were like doing there's new stuff happening new stuff to talk about people coming and going Well once like the people stop and then like the act of Talking about things is no longer useful because links don't go anywhere when you post them it It like makes perfect sense in a really fucked up stupid way that the the

[01:09:01] The gap closer there is just like oh, yeah to to recreate that churn feeling We're gonna have people just like comment like great picture like randomly and shit. Yeah It's not good. This shit sucks. Uh Dan you play any video games lately? I played seafood just the other week that game's fun Me and julia were we're both playing the new assassins creed a little bit. We were having a lot of fun with it um I dove back into into the breach, which is like kind of just a

[01:09:31] Wonderful gets yeah, i've been addicted to that one for like five years now So it's definitely not a new game, but if you have not taken the time with it I just downloaded expedition 33. I have it. I have not Oh, yes I've got like two weeks to get a video game under my belt before a baby comes and yeah Really messes with that. That's a good one to pick. I've not played it yet It's on my Tom is so in love with pokemon sacre blue He loves playing this game It is

[01:10:01] so fucking good if you like parrying Then the hype is all true if you don't like parrying Delete the game don't play it. You'll have a terrible time um parrying is like it parrying's the whole thing I put it on hard mode because I knew it was a parrying game So i'm just like give it to me fuck me up and I loved it I there is a story mode. So maybe I don't know maybe it's and also also

[01:10:31] You can dodge which is Much easier to do than parrying. It's just that you don't get to do a counter-attack on the enemy's turn Because that I mean truly we need to do a game ranking episode soon because I need to put parry and s because there's truly no better feeling for me in games then it's the enemy's turn and then it's like no It's my turn and it's like bah fuck you. Oh Ah, and that's that that's the most oh when it does that when you do the parry and you do the counter-attack

[01:11:01] And the game slows down a little bit before like the boom and you kill the giz. Oh, so good Also the story's good nice. I'm gonna mostly focus on the parry I'm a i'm a big story guy in games like I need there to be some through line that i'm that i'm hanging on for That's why julia always gives me uh crap about um in Assassin's creed I don't do side quests. I don't do side quests in any game because I

[01:11:26] Can't imagine why my character would at this pivotal moment in their life help a guy find all his worms or whatever That's why yakuza is so fun. It's I know I was framed for murder but I'm gonna try this crane game for a little bit because there's a little girl who really wants this doll and that's the thing about the yakuza games that's the real sign of great writing is that That seems like a ridiculous thing that the character would never do except actually It's exactly what what dan is saying

[01:11:53] You you know that here you would like if if a little girl was like here you I need that stuffy like more than anything and he's like well, I need to like go and like raid the tojo clan headquarters, but I got time Yeah, so yeah, I feel like that's a sign of a really like everything i've learned about yakuza I haven't played any of the games but everything I know about it Implies that tonally that is a game where like you would absolutely stop to play a crane game even though you've been framed for murder

[01:12:21] um, which 100 speaks to a world that is well realized and that's the sort of shit that i'm all about It's like when you're making a really dramatic story like an assassin's creed where it's like your father's been murdered And you have to figure out who murdered him right away And then some guys like god i've I just I dropped this box full of other smaller boxes and they're all over the region Um doesn't feel like I would stop well the mini-map alone

[01:12:49] Is a real like immersion killer because it's just like you look at it and it's like, okay, so there are 20 of these icons and these represent uh pigeon quests And these these pigeon quests involve me finding a bird I guess and it's just like yes, what is he doing? spider-man was all about those Oh god. Yeah Awful a hundred backpacks. It's just like oh my my aunt is sick from a disease and I have to find

[01:13:14] A hundred backpacks so that I can get a spider coin that I can use to unlock one of my cooler outfits I will say i'm pleased to inform you that expedition 33 does not have these side to just not have any Fucking like chore side quests. It does not the gameplay flow is Buttersmooth it is Story content you go through a dungeon You there's a level you go through a level the enemies they're visible. It's not random encounters

[01:13:42] You can see them and you walk into them and then a battle occurs So there is like a finite number of encounters in a dungeon You're not gonna be fighting a jillion billion fights There's just this many unless you go to the checkpoint and respawn them Which you'd have to choose to do and then there's a boss and then there's a new story scene and then there's a new level and like It's just beautiful The only time there are side quests is it does the incredible

[01:14:11] JRPG thing that happened in chrono trigger Where at the final third of the game which has been very linear up to that point They're just like all right now you can fuck around and do whatever you want the final boss is over there You can go to it whenever you want, but here's a bunch of other shit. Do you like that? You don't have to do it, but you could do it and all of the other shit just like in chrono trigger is like plot relevant yeah and

[01:14:34] sort of like like it's it's kind of weird that it's not required because it's so like you feel like it's less likely that your characters Wouldn't do that then would Mm-hmm. It's a great game. It's so fun I like people have said it many times and it's true that like and again you know, some people like chastise you for being like blah blah blah this is original stuff Why do you have to constantly compare it to an old dinosaur brand?

[01:15:01] It's like well because the old dinosaur brand means a lot to me. Okay, yeah, this is This game is final fantasy 17 It's more of a final fantasy than than like the last few have been but it doesn't spin its wheels though Like it starts and goes it does not do yes When the baby comes you will appreciate games that do not have 10 hour tutorials So much. Yes. Yeah, I like

[01:15:27] I've already found that I I mostly play games on my computer So when I play something like assassin's creed on my ps5 I like I only am doing it once every couple of weeks and in between I forget Everything about how those work And so when it's just like like oh, yeah, you have to find the pigeon points or whatever I'm like what do the pigeons add up to like why am I hanging out with my aunt? What is this what is happening here?

[01:15:51] Um, and so I yeah, I love just a I feel like this trend towards like open world stuff has made the linear story suffer a little bit Um, and so I love when a game can still tell like a a nice Straightforward story that I can feel like I am participating in There's nothing I abhor now more than just like seeing a mini map with just like a bunch of just fidget toys on there Mm-hmm and just like no No, don't got it

[01:16:16] There is the the the vibe the final fantasy vibe that is most prominent next position 33 Final fantasy 10 It's got that final fantasy 10 vibe in a big way except it doesn't have blitz ball. So it's way better Uh, it just takes the bullshit out. I love it and you can break you can break the game, but you can't break the game until like a Specific plot point I'm not gonna say anything about it obviously, but like it would be bad

[01:16:45] It would feel bad to be able to break the game prior to that and then after that The game is just like by the way if you want to like Do a bunch of grinding and make a weird build that lets you do two billion damage in one hit you can it's not even that hard Go ahead and it's just like that's I love that shit It's like when a game just lets you mess with console commands Like I always love subnautica for that where it's like you can go through the game and play it normally or if you want to

[01:17:16] Spawn 10 000 fish and just see if your computer can handle it You can do that too, which After I played through it once that's most of what I use the game for now is just I will So that game is interesting because it's actually the scariest game It's ever been made because there's actually nothing scarier than swimming through an underwater tunnel where there might be a creature that could get you You might as well just kill me. It's so fucking scary It is it is a deeply scary game and I love it so much. I used to play it in the dark with headphones on

[01:17:44] um when I first got it it was uh It just incredible they're they're doing a second one. So I just replayed both of them recently I yeah, I gave up on the first one for because it's it's like any of those survival games You go further and whatever and it was just like as soon as I looked down and the water wasn't so bright anymore and I couldn't see the floor I didn't really want to play like the It's not the second one because the second it was wasn't quite a full game. Oh the ice one

[01:18:11] Yeah, the ice one it has a lot more bioluminescence. So there are fewer areas that are like like just dark sparse irradiated ocean floors Which was to me the spookiest part of the first one was just the areas where it's like they're not doing anything Tricky with designs here to make me feel like oh, it's so otherworldly. They're just like it's big deep empty water like that Is the the most fucked up part of that first one?

[01:18:38] Whereas the second one is a little bit more like look There's a big jellyfish on the ceiling and look there, you know, like it's a little bit you you feel more like you're on an alien planet So it's a little less scary at least yeah Like the further it feels from my life where it's like, you know, I I could if I decided to get into scuba diving In Lake Michigan or something end up in a weird tunnel. I shouldn't be in Um, but i'm i'm never gonna see some of those creatures

[01:19:05] Joe, I assume you were making reference when you were talking about underwater tunnels To the venture brothers episode Oh, I completely forgot about that with henchman number one And he's like let's go through here and they're like dude. There's no way i'm gonna blindly swim an underwater tunnel I got freaked out when I had to do that in tomb raider That is like one of the all-timer like there are dorks They're telling a sort of a reverency joke, but it's not like we're stopping to make like it's just so fast It's just like the issue here is you're doing something stupid

[01:19:35] Yeah, it's like I should not be here. This is a bad place for me to be but i'm choosing And that's the episode where it's revealed that they scooby-doo brock like every time, right? I don't think they do it every they they they stand in like a diorama and pretend to be statues And when it works, they say they always wanted to do that. So it's they don't do it every time But it it does work

[01:20:05] Yeah, I would love to hear the meta of of child rearing right now Because like i'm in kind of my last two to three weeks of of non-fatherhood here So yeah, if you got anything to impart that you would tell yourself two to three weeks pre dad mode Would love to hear it If I could give myself advice about that period well, first of all Your wife is going to go through just it's a it's an experience But they're going to make you sit on a very awful couch in a hospital So it's going to be rough for you too. It's going to be very hard to sleep on that thing

[01:20:34] I just need you to understand that uh, obviously as a fellow back problems guy I am that has been the part i've been the most afraid of is like I know there's a fucked up couch waiting for me Like I just know I i'm gonna start this thing hobbling around It's very narrow. I I can't speak for every hospital couch, but they seem to come from They all come from some very very narrow factory the but uh initially like

[01:21:00] The feeding cycles are just either on or asleep and I think it is very useful to just There will become a time When you are on a more defined schedule, but you can really just Save yourself a lot of mental thing of just being like On or off like literally like there are two states. It's like the kid is up we're feeding him or the kid is sleeping and just letting it be that simple Is fine

[01:21:29] I mean we got very lucky. We're like I am a freelancer who lives in job hell all the time and julia has uh Her work has a very nice leave so we're both gonna be around which is nice. Uh, we don't have to like uh Battle job schedules there so like the first handful of months, um, we'll both be kind of all hands on deck, which i'm oh, that's awesome That's awesome. We uh, winnie and I both took obviously leave together I went back a little bit sooner because then when she went back

[01:21:59] I used some of my time that I did not use to sort of like i've heard that's a good tactic is splitting the the leave a little bit To avoid the the dreaded daycare and the forever sickness that comes with it That for sure happens. Uh, and also I will say Uh, it's also just like fun because like when they're just born they're just like a worm And then when it's time for this this like second leave like dad leave I don't know. How do I put this? I really felt like that's when I really bonded like that's when I was like yeah I'm a dad look at this little guy

[01:22:29] Was it was that uh, and it's because there was just They weren't just eating and sleeping. They were they were a little bit more active He's becoming his own self. He's getting his personality. I will say as a sort of uncle figure It's ivan's the coolest. He's like the best kid. I love that. He's a good kid. We're very lucky. Uh, he should never be evil in my opinion Hmm, he's never evil evil should never be done to him and if anyone does they should be executed I'm gonna hit him with my gun hell should rain down

[01:23:00] Yeah, yeah Time is gonna go away and I don't mean like yes, obviously like You lose track of time because your head's down you got a kid that needs to be fed every 40 minutes all this sort of thing But it's it's you're going to get like sort of the experience of like a time warp where it's like three months will have gone by and you'd be like Do I have a beard like what the fuck? Uh, and and I I say that not to like It's scary. It's just like Honestly, when's the last time you were that engrossed in something? Yeah

[01:23:28] I mean i've been i've been weirdly excited for because it's it's funny like a lot of the parents I talked to and I get it Because a lot of them are kind of in the thick of it the people I know who have kids The first thing you hear is just like you're gonna be fucking exhausted and your baby's gonna have constant blowouts Every day every moment of every day their baby's gonna have a blowout Um And i've been just sort of excited for all of it because i'm just like oh It's like a thing that is gonna eat up all my time that rocks uh instead of like

[01:23:56] You know, but i've been looking for jobs and i'm like i'm always hunting for new work and it feels like that Eats up all my time and is terrible and makes me feel bad um As opposed to like helping a life be A life is nice. It just seems like such a better thing to have eat up 95 of my efforts It's also really good because people need to get this in their life in general. I feel they don't get it enough which is just like

[01:24:25] My kid was hungry and then I gave them food and now they're not hungry Like everything is so like abstract like i'm on the computer and I do this this fucking bi data report that is gonna go to stakeholders and it's like shut the fuck up It's like something needed to happen I made a physical change in the environment and now my kid is happy. It's like If you are a computer person That is gonna be like a drug to you because you I thought I had it in my life. I did not and then I got it and I was like

[01:24:54] Oh, yeah, give me give me give me like it's just so good No, that's why i've been so excited is because like I feel like computer jobs I like haven't had like felt like a real especially because it's like I Do my day job work mostly so that I can write whatever the next thing i'm writing is And so my day job work feels so far from what I actually want to be doing um, and I just feel like the the longing for like any sort of like real purpose and what you're spending your time and labor doing like one time I saw a guy

[01:25:24] Running an earth mover like he had a big earth mover that was on this floating metal platform In lake michigan and he was just scooping dirt Out of the lake onto that was god dude. You saw the giant It's the giant who's on the stone me my dad and my brother-in-law Acted like this man was jesus christ because we were just like he had his job is so simple He moves He moves the goop from one area to the other and he gets to run a cool machine and we were just so jealous

[01:25:53] Watching this guy, uh, just because like the idea of having a job where you had a purpose was so Incredible to us as how I feel about logger It's like logging is like the most dangerous job there is But it's just like they make the trees fall down like bam. Yeah, they're making it happen Just like something the the earth knows you exist if you scoop if you scoop it, you know, like Whereas the spreadsheets don't know i'm there, you know, they don't they don't they they long to be done by an ai

[01:26:22] Dan what the things you've been describing Put me remind me of something that i've been recently reminded of so when when joe got his his hand cut open by the slicer and he can't lift so For for months now show has had incidents Where he is fully aware that to do a certain task will push him beyond his physical limits however It must be done and like it it causes I gotta pick up my kid sucks

[01:26:50] uh, but he's got to get home And I was like did you feel now that you have had your hand sliced and you can't you like can not lift Do you feel at all like from paranoia agent the anime where shonen bat beats you up beats like Someone to like the inch of their life and then they have to be in the hospital and they're so elated They're like I this is the best thing that could have ever happened to me because now No, one's allowed to get mad at me and no one has any expectations

[01:27:20] And I can't fall short of any of them and even I can't get mad at myself because what could I have done? I was out of my hands and like the the that's like the most Like eerie part of paranoia agent the idea that like These people desperately want more than anything and it would solve all their problems to just have a child nearly kill them It's like be mildly hit by a bus Yes, uh

[01:27:44] And what you were describing about what you're excited for reminds me of like what if there was like a good shonen bat from paranoia agent Which is just like i'm sorry like I like I can't I can't get online today I'm like as you can see I like it's out of my hands. Yeah, I have to be doing this. There's no there's no other choice I uh, I think it's true. I because i've i've been feeling the same way with like like child care costs so much money It costs so much and so it's

[01:28:13] As long as i'm covering that it's it's like every day I have I just don't have to think about like oh Did I like, you know Talk to enough clients about booking work for the it's like, oh just by Taking care of my beautiful child I will be helping and it's like just having that To buoy you of just this feeling of like i'm doing something Uh, obviously it's not good when my boy has to stay home because he's sick, but it's like oh he's sick today

[01:28:41] He's got to stay home. It's like my day just got figured out like it's fine I there is some relief in that Uh, obviously the circumstances aren't great But it's exactly as you're saying where it's like I am immediately buoyed By something that will be useful to people I care about hurrah hurrah We all just want a thing to do You know and yeah, and honestly most of it is just dig a hole like I really would just love to dig a hole I like having a son and a being a dad, but I would love to just dig a hole To dig a huge hole god

[01:29:09] That earth mover gig seemed really good to stick to Into the water He was putting it into the water. He was getting to put an earth mover. He was scooping water out of a lake He was shrinking the lake right because by putting dirt in the lake He was getting yeah, he was he was getting trash out of there It had to go it had to move and he was like loading up his little little floating thing with trash Oh Man, there was one time I was uh

[01:29:37] Visiting my in-laws and my parents were there too They they were all they were traveling they swung by so me and my wife my in-laws and my parents were all hanging out We were walking along the the beach And my dad and my father-in-law both saw a dredger Very similar and they were like oh Oh drawn to it like like uh magnet to the thing that magnets go to um metal I remembered and they came back from their uh

[01:30:07] Dredger experience over the moon. They are so excited electric buzzing these guys were and my uh my father-in-law went up to my wife And was just like, you know, they have girl dredgers, too They make pretty good money and we thought it was pretty funny But now i'm just like I you know, however seven eight months in on unemployment uh feeling like there's no hope and i'm a useless guy

[01:30:34] And I was it was a silly mistake to have ever employed me Uh, and they finally figured it out. I'm like shit wonder how much Ramp up it takes to get a dredger and if they don't pay you you just kill dozer your boss like we know this There's a proven method Yeah Hell yeah There are a lot of jobs on boats out there. You just have to be willing to be on the boat

[01:31:01] One of our uh sicko fans is a is a boat sicko He I don't know if he still does it but he talked he explained to me like on discord like what like a the process was and that shit is insane I cannot imagine There's a reason there's a lot of jobs for people on boats is because they can't get people on boats I know it's like if I did it the first thing that would happen is one of those big like hooks you settle into like Ballast something would like fly up and knock my head off like a toy

[01:31:29] And they would just have to like they grab it by the spine and be like, oh, we lost another one and like they just had to Come back to shore and everyone would be like yeah That's exactly what we thought was gonna happen to dan on a boat Like turning around before they even hit the horizon like yeah, we we turned away from him for two minutes and his head got knocked off by one of the ballast hooks

[01:31:55] I've read you ever watch like lord of the rings and there are any movie with big battle scenes With like arrows and swords and like there's the big Group of sword guys going like yeah Running, you know, and then the other group is like loose arrows and they go and the arrows go And like a cup like a handful of guys fall from the arrows right before there's the big clash

[01:32:20] Every single time i'm watching a movie like that. I'm like i'd be one of the guys gets hit by an arrow for sure I'd be like i'm gonna do I trained hard. I know all the best sword fighting dude, i'm the guy Uh, who's puking at d-day right before the doors open up and then I am sniped Yeah, you got like a like an unusual amount of character development like in the part leading up to when the door opens So everyone thinks you're gonna be like a pov character and then

[01:32:50] Sniping you is like how they show that shit just got real at d-day Yeah, it shows that everyone who gets killed had a story. It's true They were there I'd be like one of the guys with like an arrow in the calf and it's and like everyone's just sort of like like maybe he It seems like you maybe could have run and i'd be like no dude. This is really bad You got no idea what this is like Really like leaning into the punch on it, you know, hell yeah

[01:33:18] I don't want to go to a battle. I'm that's something. I just know about myself I hate being in war If I had to get drafted into war I would well one I would suck ass at it two i'd be whining all the time I think I think my historical role was supposed to be pusher puller I think like if we're like if we're looking at like what I was made I think I was just supposed to push stuff and pull stuff and then Maybe tell a fun story not for money

[01:33:47] Um, just for fun that would be like why people would be like oh he does push and pull stuff But he's he's fun at the bar I think that would have been my old time You used to go to the You used to go to the pub and people would have to tell stories and learn how to play music their own self Yeah They didn't have tv yet Now everyone's just getting convinced to kill themselves by chat gpt That's that's what everyone at the pub would be doing Doing the long burn on suicide. Yeah Yeah, everyone's talking to sand

[01:34:15] That yeah, like isn't that like uh what microchips are made of is like sand every computer is saying that learn to think Yeah, everyone's just talking to a handful of sand No one cares about pushing and pulling stuff anymore I worry that's how I sound when I complain about the computer sometimes is so like oh We all should just push and pull things Pushing and pulling kicks ass be talking about turning the crank. I'm gonna turn the crank so bad Dude if I had one of those big horizontal wheels You know that you eee and it made it eee oh

[01:34:45] Oh my god all day you could do that I'm among friends here I always I feel a little bit of shame sometimes for how much I want to hit the computer with a bat and I it is just Always so nice to be among two other guys who would like to hit the computer with a bat I've said this this is well tread territory, but everything that happens in the jungle I'd be fine. It's like you're hanging out with your buds You're operating a machine, you know, you have a clear quitting time. No one asks you to re-upload a file. It's not opening right? It's fine

[01:35:14] Yeah, I mean if you some guys fall in the machine I wouldn't do that. I would I would use proper Uh balance yeah and simply stay out of the machine person How do you guys think you would do in that video that everyone the conservative guys love where it's the like the oil or the muddy men? Yeah Yeah, the muddy men. I hate I hate them. What are they do? What does their muddiness do? Like I understand that the work is hard I understand they're greasy and wet, but how do those inputs?

[01:35:42] Make dollars because it really just seems like they're picking up huge pvc pipes Yeah I was reminded of my incredible term because someone was doing like a deep sickos Relisten and was like this part was so funny and and as always is the case I learn about something I said for the first time and like wow, I was so funny Apparently when we were talking about the muddy men last I referred to what they were doing as working in the clonking factory Where their job is to make clonking sounds

[01:36:11] It does feel like that is the ultimate goal there Like it is like for like clonk fetishists or something where it's just like Like if I can't see my clonk videos before bed. I have nightmares There was a public art piece many many years ago I think I was when I was just out of college that was supposed to be a statement about how much minimum wage was failing america and american workers and

[01:36:40] the uh art installation was it was this big thing full of like pennies or maybe it was some other it was change It's full of change and it had a crank and you would turn the crank And the crank as it was turning Would dispense coins Equal to if you cranked it for one hour. It would dispense Minimum wage

[01:37:05] And the idea was it's so like it's right there. You don't have to apply Anyone can turn the crank and yet no one does Because they know it's not worth it. I would I would turn the crank I'd put them so far in the red I'd be there all day I'd be there all day See, I just didn't know about this crank when they're saying no one will do this I would complain a lot like I would definitely be like ah this goddamn crank, but I would

[01:37:35] Turn the shit out of it Anyway That's all the time we have for enemy sickos Dan, thank you for joining us on our comedy podcast. Congratulations on your uh imminent child Thank you so much Something to be Celebrated and uh, you're gonna love it Tell us again about that card game. Where's what's the website? What's the name of it and when does it begin funding?

[01:38:03] So the campaign starts on june 17th the game is called who's a good boy the game where dogs can sin Uh, you can find it by either looking up who's a good boy the game where dogs can sin on kickstarter or by going to Dogs can sin.com Um That will that will get you there Um, and so yeah that launches on june 17th. It will run for about four weeks We've got some fun flex goals once uh, we fund and also once we fund I get to stop worrying about it and enjoy the birth of my child

[01:38:32] Um Hell yeah And if it's not funded in time, I won't I'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna be sitting i'm gonna be sitting through that whole birth just shaking my head like You're gonna be refreshing your phone saying honey, i'd like to be there for you But I need to see if the number went up enough So that's that's on in your guys's hands as an honor. No, i'm very uh It is very very exciting to Be at the precipice of the dad stuff and the card game is cool, too. Um, but you can't give my child

[01:39:02] 25 dollars i'm not gonna let you Uh, you can do that to the card game though Hell yeah Lovely again. That's who's a good boy? Dawes can sin.com Go to it. It's funny Uh, you'll like playing it. Anyway Now I want to pitch something Pay for our patreon so that We can have income Uh, what are we cooking on the record club is double nickels on the time?

[01:39:29] We're just fucking doing minute men shit. We're just doing it double nickels on the dime best It's very funny that my first thought for what should I pick for the next record club was the cold vein by cannibal ox And i'm like, oh wait, actually I can't pick that it's 74 minutes. That's so long. That's insane I'll just go with the uh one we've been talking about for ages, but never picking double nickels on the dime And then I check that shit's 81 minutes long even longer Um, but because all the songs are fucking like one minute 30 seconds

[01:39:58] It ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba you never feel like you're sitting through something Like cannibal ox where there's like five seven minute songs in a row and you're just like oh my god Is it over yet? No, it's not Anyway We talk about music on there. I you we play clips from the songs Or do we I don't want the cops to know we might play clips from the songs, but you'll only know if you pay That's how we get around so the mafia does it. Yeah

[01:40:28] Yeah, I don't know if that's like a legit It might be more definitely exposure legal ambiguity and weakness in your position here. That's definitely the move to do You just sort of talk around the crimes Yeah, let's do that. Anyway, i've been tom and anime sicko i've been joe and anime sicko And i've been dan and anime sicko see you next time. Bye. Bye. Thanks for joining us

[01:40:54] Thank you for listening to anime sickos. I've been tom a sicko You can follow me on blue sky at tom harrison Joe was also a sicko. You can follow him on blue sky at sharia uncle You can follow anime sickos on blue sky at anime sickos or email us at anime sickos at gmail.com You can give us money at patreon.com slash anime sickos if you want Uh, please leave us a review or something. I don't know Tell a friend Uh, anyway until next time. Bye Bye