255: The Sickos Make Your Life Perfect

[00:00:00] Behold a cold open. Tom and I have been talking about Clothmother. Tom, can we start this by, can you just read this very good post by a display name unemployed guy? Just this killer post which happened in parallel to a conversation we were having separately so it hits really hard.

[00:00:27] We were talking about Clothmother. Clothmother, I'm honestly crazy about Clothmother. I don't know if you know about this folks. This was one of those mothers, she's made of cloth and you know your fake mom's made of flesh. Yeah, you can hug her as soft as anything. Here's what he says. This is at pork tartar.biscuita social. Clothmother has been whispering some seriously insane and scary stuff to me lately.

[00:00:54] I love this because you can read it of two ways. You could read it just like a guy saying that sincerely and it's funny and then you could also imagine him saying it with like Clothmother like right there like a puppet and he's like, can you believe this?

[00:01:10] But this is such a good post. And the reason Tom and I were like freaking out about it especially is my wife and I went to the symphony a few weeks ago and we were sitting waiting for it to start. And first of all, we were seated in a high school field trip except for my wife and I and these two older people next to us who we were speaking to. And that's so that's a low key, extremely funny part of the story.

[00:01:40] That part of the story isn't what pans out, but just what an incredible milieu to be in. What incredible what an incredible thing for the high school to have done to be like, we got to get all these seats for all of our students. But let's sprinkle in a couple of four seat blank spots so that we can trap adults. So I think it's a little funnier than that, because these were season passes. So like we had the same seats for this series.

[00:02:08] So this final series, it was like, I don't know where to fucking put these kids. Here we go. Anyway, before the show starts, the older woman next to me just starts talking to me. Uh, people always just start talking to me always. They just come up to me and it's I've decided it's one of two things. And I don't know which one, which one it was for this person. But the reason people come up to me and talk to me is because it's like they read me and they're like, oh, he knows what I'm about to say.

[00:02:36] He understands what I'm going to say. Or two, it's like when you tell your dog a secret and you're not like, it's like, fine. You can just, you can just, it's not going to get out. Yeah. Anyway, she's, uh, she's very fun to talk to. She's telling me gossip. She's an older lady telling me about other, uh, other, other season pass holders who are with their children, who are like with the latest gossips. This guy doesn't actually like Evgeny Kisin. He doesn't think his piano playing has the touch. Can you believe?

[00:03:03] Uh, like it was basically like that. It was very Frazier type gossip. It was fun. Uh, but she was, we were just talking and she was just saying, uh, this is actually a really illustrative point. It's, it's very easy to get people to just say how much they hate or are scared of AI. It's, it's actually not hard. Uh, she basically did it herself because, uh, she was in music education and she was just like, oh, education is so important.

[00:03:32] I'm going to, there's like, this AI stuff is scary, but it's like, at least it can never go in schools. And I had to be like, lady, you don't know. Uh, because there is literally an AI school in Chicago opening and it has like a, I think, I believe a 55 grand yearly tuition price tag. You have to, you have to pay said your kid to a school where there are no teachers and it's a selling point that there are no teachers. And, and she is aghast by this and she starts saying, it's just like, but they're like, like kids need human.

[00:04:01] And it's like, there needs to be a human touch. There needs to be. And as she's saying this, the orchestra starts like they start playing. So it starts drowning her out. And she's just like, oh, you know what I mean? They've done studies, the apes with the Terry cloth. And then at which, uh, at which point, at which point she's completely drowned out. It was like the most magnificent utterance a stranger has ever said to me. Uh, and then I know what she means.

[00:04:30] She's, I, she's talking about cloth mother, dude. She's talking about cloth mother. All right. So I, I saw, I told you about that. Uh, we were laughing about it. And then, oh, like a bolt from the heavens. Unemployed guy. This post about cloth mother. Oh. My man. Oh. Oh, thank you. Just thank you. Like the post would have been amazing on its own, but it just, you threw a grenade and like, it didn't just go in the trench. It landed on everybody's dick.

[00:05:00] The sergeant was doing the annual, everyone's staying in a circle and point their dicks in the middle. Non-sexual version. It's just fun for us. You've got everybody. They got, you heard about this? They got cloth on the mothers now. The thing is, is, uh, muttering is fun at baseline. Uh, we talk about this a little bit. Just like, what are we muttering lately?

[00:05:23] And if, if you're also muttering about cloth mother, it rules because it's like a power, like you're crazy twice. Right. Cloth mother says I can't play today. I know. Like, don't like, oh, there's a cloth mother says I have to have a seat next to me on the bus. Yeah. Uh, it's the good stuff. Cloth mother says it's my turn to not get any milk, but I am going to just start.

[00:05:47] If I'm like losing a thread in a conversation or I'm just, it's not really sticking. I'm just going to taper off now with, oh, you know, the apes with the dairy cloth. Everybody.

[00:06:27] Welcome to anime sickos podcast, the podcast for geniuses and the only podcast. We look at the four pillars of anime. Fuck. We look at groceries now. They're all groceries. Yeah. We look at the four grocery pillars of going to Ali, going to the jewel, going to Jungbu at our H Mart, depending on where in the city you're at. And, uh, going to Agora if you need a fancy piece of produce.

[00:06:54] No, I'm talking about, um, anime gaming posting and jobs. That is what we, I was about to say, that's what we talked about. Not really. That's just the thing I have to say at the beginning because it's part of the opening. I'm Tom and anime sicko. I'm Joe and anime sicko. Those things do come up. Cloth mother is all of those things because Cloth Mother is all. Yeah, that's true. Uh, we do. Yeah, they come up. They come up from time to time. But you know what else comes up from time to time?

[00:07:22] People who have patronized us on patreon.com slash anime sickos. They give us some dollar bills that so that we can continue doing this shit. Uh, because we too are unemployed guy, just like our, uh, our muse. Our new hero. Yeah. Uh, we got $5 from two new people. Our first new people who gave us $5 says this. Your discord server made me trans. Here's $5 about it. This could be almost anybody.

[00:07:55] There's no way of knowing which trans person in our servers did this. But we appreciate all of you. And we especially appreciate the ones of you who still have a job. It just feels like it's just like, uh, Joe, you're now a professor of queer studies. It's like, okay, we're going to watch the birdcage again, I guess. Uh, they're these two dudes as gay. Robin Williams and the meadcage. It's a wonderful film. It's a wonderful film. He pierces the toast.

[00:08:24] And this one, this next giver of $5. This is Cthulhu words, dude. It's for you. Yeah. Thank you. Eldridge horror person for $5. That's the city where Cthulhu is like in, I think. Real yeah is, I don't know what the, the, the, y'all. It's a suburb of it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Where are you from? Uh, I'm from real yeah.

[00:08:53] Oh, I'm Cthulhu. I'm from there too. Where? I'm the guy in the middle. Do you know about, uh, Steve's pizza? It's like, I never went to Steve's. You never went to Steve's? You're from real yeah. You never went to Steve's? You feel. And then Cthulhu eats them. It would be so scary if Cthulhu shows up and then starts talking about cloth mother. It would be like, we are, he's so insane. We are so fucked.

[00:09:21] Think of how much cloth they would need to have to make a cloth mother for him. It would come from a sail. It would have to be a boat he grabbed. No, a boat. Uh, congrats on queerness. Yes. Thank you for that. Thank you for being a Cthulhu man or woman. I don't know what this really a person is, but you, they gave us $5 and that's what matters. You can give us $5 on Patreon. Why would you do that? Kindness. Honestly, pity.

[00:09:51] And also you get the fucking record club, which I don't promote hardly at all. The next one. I don't, I need to schedule the recording for that shit. Next one's going to have June from Kill the Computer on it. We're going to be talking about the taxpayers. There's a folk. I love this album. I'm not, I'm not doing this one, but like, I'm telling you, if you liked our discussion with June about how folk punk is essentially anime insofar as you can like it, but you should never tell anyone and you should feel shame all the time. Uh, this is a perfect example.

[00:10:19] Cause like all the shit that rocks about this album rocks about folk punk. Uh, it's one of the better ones. And all the shit that people could say about it, that is like, this is so goddamn lame and washed. You, you're just like, yeah, but yeah. Like why are you being such? But they're clapping. Like why be such a narc about it? Like, you're not wrong. You're just an asshole. Uh, Joe, this is one of those episodes where we just got to go on and on.

[00:10:48] We've haven't done one of those in a while. We've had a lot of guests on, had a lot of, uh, uh, ones with the, with a concept. Yeah. It's been a while since you've been able to stretch our podcasting legs and really. I should share wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I have, I have much wisdom. Uh, so I have been telling Tom about this. This is a little experiment that I started on the mother and replace the flawed flesh mother.

[00:11:18] Uh, no, I, uh, started because I'm already waking up early because I have a kid. Like I'm waking up at six anyway. So I started waking up at, at five with, uh, the idea that like, this is an hour of my time. Uh, I want to just have like a set time for me so I can basically loosen up physically because of the pain or whatever, but also just to not ever have that feeling of immediately waking up and I have shit to do.

[00:11:47] I was like the idea of starting on my own terms. And like, obviously the like perfect goal of this, the, the aspirational thing is just like, Oh, I will wake up and then I will go downstairs and read. And it's like, has that happened? Like twice. But like the, the important thing is even if you just go downstairs and sit on the couch and do nothing, uh, it has given me a very significant boost.

[00:12:09] And the reason is, is because I think when my ratio of, of stuff I have to do that sucks versus just like neutral or even fun things is like totally fucked. Like if it's like that for too long, I, even if I am telling myself, like, you got to keep going, you got to get through this week, you have all the shit you got to do. I just feel internal rebellion. It's just like my body is just like, I fucking hate this. I, I need something.

[00:12:35] I, I, you start seeking a little dopamine hits in the context of an office job. This is very easy to just fall into the snacking behavior, uh, made worse by the fact that it's like, Oh, we just had a meeting. There's a fucking cake outside. What I have found is that it's, it's a ratio problem. It's like, if I started the day and I've been awake for two hours and an hour or even more of that more than an hour has been my own terms.

[00:13:01] And I've been ideally reading or doing something, but even if I'm just like sitting on the couch, staring like a fucking freak into nothing, it just means that the ratio is non painful. It's just, I have, I have enough agency that I don't feel like I am constantly bouncing between everything and everything. And the issue too is like in the morning, it's like your kid starts screaming. It's just go, go, go, go. Joe, I got to tell you something. This reminded me of this because you're right.

[00:13:31] This is smart. There was in the 2000s, Big Boy from Outkast put out his first solo album. Yeah. And on it was a seduction jam about how much he loves doing it. And Big Boy, obviously a great rapper and lyricist, but any rapper and lyricist who does enough stuff will have some lines that are just so ridiculously bad and funny that you're just

[00:14:00] like, what were you thinking? And in this, this is the one thing that has stuck with me from that album. And it's not even a bad album, but this is the only thing that's still with me is he talks about this. He's trying to convince a lady and a hypothetical lady in this song to be doing it with them. And the reasoning he gives is he wants, you got to make a freaky memory with me.

[00:14:27] So later on, you can think about it and then be like, damn, that's what you're doing with sitting on the couch and doing that. So if you have a terrible day, you're just like, I know I was vibing. Like there's just I can't. You can't take that from me. Tell me this is a no vibing day. You can't take that off the board. You're putting points on the board. There's nothing in basketball that removes points that I know of. Are there reverse hotspots? I haven't played all the NBA jams. Yeah.

[00:14:55] If you kill a guy, all the points he scored go away. But that makes sense. The other element to a lower order benefit to this is if you do have medication that is stimulating, like you have your ADHD meds or something. The problem I get into is just like, OK, you wake up, you take them, you go, go, go. And then you fucking work and then you eat and then you sleep. You just feel very go, go, go.

[00:15:22] Now you will have like an hour or two built into your day where you don't have it in you yet. And that makes a big difference in terms of just being able to check in with yourself. It's good to just like, oh, yeah, here's like two hours of my life where I don't have the medicine in me. It's just very useful for that reason. And the results have been pretty good. Energy has been higher.

[00:15:47] I have been more productive, but like more than anything, it's just like the ratio is not fucked and I'm not internally rebelling because I am pissed. Yeah, I mean, the ratio is a real thing. I do that. But opposite, which is the worst way to do that, which is also very stupid, because what am I rebelling? Like I don't have part of why you need this time so much is that you have a fucking son.

[00:16:17] And I don't know if you've ever listened or been around a little dude, but they demand a lot. He's so fast. He's so fast. He's so fast. He fucking runs like I told him that you're going to be coming over this Friday. And he literally did the dud smile from The Simpsons or Homer's face. He slowly kind of like melts into a smile. And then he said after a pause upside down because you like him around upside down, like nonstop.

[00:16:47] So, of course, that was seared into his mind. And he has to do that forever. I'm going to have to really parcel that out. I can't overdo it both for for both of our sakes, really. But but to Thomas point, he's right to an extent. But the issue is just like when I have family stuff to do, I'm rocking and rolling. The problem is when it's just like, OK, here's six hours of unemployment, some other stuff. And it's just like, yeah, it's hard to do that, especially for me to have that structure

[00:17:13] because all the stuff in the evening, getting my kid cooking, being with my family. It just feels like 100 percent more real than anything else, which is why. Like, OK, I can apply for a job, which I need to do, or I could wait and then just be with my family and do a bunch of concrete things that feel good, like white boogers, cook food and stuff like that. Yeah, which is so the 5 a.m.

[00:17:41] thing is a way to sort of exert a little more control over like the big unstructured chunk of my day. Yeah, I hate the big unstructured chunk. It's really I mean, I was saying, yeah, like I do the opposite where the my rebellion for for the my time is is dude time. That's what I've talked about in the past. The time in the night after my wife goes to bed where Lucy, my kitty cat, sits in my lap and we play fucking video games. And that's where I get all my gaming.

[00:18:09] And I've been playing Slay the Spire during dude time every night since it came out. Slay the Spire 2. Should I say two? I meant to. I think it was implied. Yeah, I've been having Slay the Spire experiences. Let's say that goes for both that every all Slay the Spire is is encompassed under that term. But man, that's stupid because I stay up till two. Sometimes if I'm really getting nutty to 30. And I can see that because it's the WhatsApp thing will say last online. Yeah. 2 a.m.

[00:18:39] And it's just like this boy has been gaming. It's true. It's true. I have. And it's no good because then I wake up late. Whatever. Whatever. But I've been. So I, too, have been making moves with the unstructured time. Here's what I'm doing. I was talking and you know this listener if you are a dedicated anime sickness listener because I was talking. When we're talking with Joe Kasabian from Lions Led by Donkeys and you're talking about his new fantasy novel, The Highlands Burn.

[00:19:08] I was asking about the writing process because I'm just like, I would love to have one. You know, I've really fallen off. The only last writing I did was Sigour Shock 2. Less writing of any consequence, I should say. And like that was an impossible to recreate process because we had already come up with the plot. And it's just like, well, and so all I had to do was just like take the outline which you already had and then just fill it in. And it's like, well, what if I don't have it? What if I can't?

[00:19:35] Also, it was actively the rope bridge of don't look down in the chasm during the pandemic. Like that was also an element like that. That is a nonzero aspect of it. There was a gun to your head in a way that you didn't. Maybe really appreciate. I told you know how it is. You know how they say like during the pandemic, they were like, why isn't there any media about the flu pandemic of like the 1910s?

[00:20:03] And it was like because because nobody wanted to fucking think about that shit again. Yeah. Everyone who's still there didn't dive it and probably hates it. Or in our case now, they didn't dive it and think it's fake. So it never happened. There never was any of that. No, I forgot that Secret Shock 2 was a pandemic production. Anyway, but the point being, like how do you if you don't have the plot? How do you like what do you fucking do? Like you don't there's nothing. There's nothing. What do you do?

[00:20:32] And I was talking to Josh Watkins about that. He is my co-producer on the live show Genius Night. And he does record club with me most of the time on Patreon. And he's like a novelist. Like he writes like serious stuff. He went he got his fiction masters. He's got that real art. He knows what it is. Yeah. He went to a joke college in an evil city to get his masters. And he told me some books to look at.

[00:20:58] But and I was so Joe, there was nothing in the world I would have liked more than to have read the books and been like this is for babies. This is shit I already knew. I'm smarter than the books. Or it just says or I've been looking for a book like this. Maybe you would also get relief from this if the book is just like here is your circumstances. You can't do it. You're just a fuck up. Just stop. Yeah. And I'd be like this is.

[00:21:28] Oh, OK. This is really closes the loop. I mean, that's kind of the implication. If you can't start writing and also you're smarter in the book because it's like. I've already taken all this into account when I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to do it. OK, so there you go. Unfortunately, Joe. Well, the books have helped a lot and they're very insightful and they give me a lot of things to think about.

[00:21:55] I'm going to give you the the gist of the most powerful bits here. Listener for free. The book that's most prevalent is going to be refused to be done by Matt Bell. So there's another one that's called I think the writer's portable mentor that I have not gotten too far into because I saw I was flipping ahead a couple pages and I saw it did a move that was so fucking scary that I don't want to read that page naturally because I don't want to.

[00:22:24] Joe, here's what it is. It's written. Is it? Oh, I'm going to tell you what I'm thinking. What is he thinking? I'm thinking in Jojo when there's the paper and the gun comes out. It's a little bit like that, dude. It said it said take the cloth off. No, here's what it is. It's one of those things where it's like it's written by this like older genius author.

[00:22:47] This like this this woman who is very you can just tell by the way she writes and sort of the atmosphere she projects in her words that like this is like such a smart and established writer who like has the experience and like knows it. And like when she says these things, you just believe it. It's so it's like so self evidently true that like, yes, you're right. You're right. How could it be anything but this?

[00:23:16] And it was like, Joe, here's what it was like. It was like describing an exercise to do. And it's like, do it now. As you're finishing this sentence, put the book down and do it now. Don't do it later today. Don't do it tomorrow. Do it now. And I went. And so I have not read further in that book.

[00:23:41] But unfortunately, Matt Bell's book, which does not tell you to do exercises right now, also was smarter than me. Here are the takeaways. Yeah. One, the hardest part about writing anything, especially in the beginning, is not the writing. It is the ability to find the kindness required for yourself, because it's always easy to say, oh, the first draft is crap. I've said that. But also, sometimes it's not.

[00:24:11] Psycho Shock 2 is essentially a first draft because I couldn't find anyone to fucking read it. Yeah, it's funny to say the first draft is always crap because it's a lie because everyone admittedly does have a really salient writing memory where like you banged out a first draft, but it was like singing. And like, yes, even if it still had to be refined, it was not something you would say sucks. It was like almost coming out form. And that's not the expectation every time.

[00:24:39] But the problem is it happens sometimes. And it's also like a big problem. It's like when you're you're the first time you gamble and you win. It's just like, oh, no, you you you you're going to wish that hadn't happened. And yeah, you got to you got to be kind with yourself and understand that like this really is going to suck.

[00:25:00] And here's the fucking thing that the dude said that I was just like, fuck, oh, my God, which is there's going to be days where you feel like you got nothing. Like you got no talent. You got nothing in the tank and you're just never going to write anything good. And it could be. It could be. I mean, it's probably that's probably just stinking thinking. Yeah, but it could be. That on that day, you're right, that on that day, you really are just like you got nothing in the brain and you're sludge and you're sludged from the dump.

[00:25:30] But what you have to understand is that that version of you who was sludged from the dump is not writing the story, is not writing the book, is not writing the essay. It is going to be written by dozens or hundreds of you in the aggregate. And yes, and so there will be a day or you're in sicko mode. And like that version of you is going to shore up what this crappy version of you is doing a day. And so as a result, I have been doing a writing project.

[00:26:00] I am not having any expectations for it. I am in a mindset where I'm not even considering it writing, really, because to consider it writing, I would consider, is it good? Do these words sound good? Am I avoiding cliches? Et cetera, et cetera. I would be very concerned about that minutiae.

[00:26:24] And that is the sort of thing that when I do that, especially when I don't have a fucking finished outline ready like it is for Sicko Shot 2, I will note, oh, I did a bad job at all those things I was concerned about. I guess this is a bad project. And I will then stop. No, I'm not writing. What I'm doing now, this first draft, and this is something from the fucking book, is just like the first draft is just slush. And what you're doing is not writing. You were digging clay out of the ground.

[00:26:53] Yeah, there's a wet riverbank, and you're going to get in there, and your nails are going to get so fucking dirty. Yeah, and you're going to get clay. The clay might suck. It might be bad clay. You don't know, though, and you need to get the clay because once you've done getting the clay, then you can start being like, all right, what can I sculpt out of this clay?

[00:27:16] It could be nothing, but it could be that you discover there's some shape making itself known through the slush. But I am finding it more possible to actually consistently write and make new stuff, make new words come out.

[00:27:38] Because I am not imagining that moment where I'm judging it as a finished thing and finding it crappy and feeling the shame wave. You know, which was every time I'm like, I'm going to write a short story today. That's going to be my job for today. I'm going to write a short story. You know, just be just do it. Just do it. Don't worry about it. Just do it. And I would look at what I came up with, and I would feel the shame wave.

[00:28:06] And I'd be like, well, that was awful. One thing you said earlier, I'm curious. When you write now, when you say, I'm going to take a stab at this, even if it's shitty. What is the act? Are you doing this in a notebook? Are you? Okay, I started doing it in a notebook. I started doing it by hand. That was in the bit of the writer's portable mentor that I got to before I saw the scary part and stopped. I need to fucking get back on that.

[00:28:34] But it's just like, yeah, it was writing a notebook about anything, and the smart things that that told me, it's like you don't have to. If you're doing a project, the writing does not have to be about the project because everything, you know, writing helps you think, and all thinking informs your writing. Yes, exactly. Even if you write stuff that is unseen to the reader, you are building out infrastructure. You are building the thought patterns in your mind that AI is attempting to annihilate.

[00:29:04] Anyway, the thing that I got from that is, and I can't believe I never thought of this, and this is a huge thing for just any journaling, is that after if you've written something in your journal, go back and give it a title. And the title can just be like thoughts on blank, blank, and blank. It doesn't have to be like... Or the date. It just has to give it a name. Not the date. It has to be in human language. Like, what is this? So that if ever you need to go back to it, you can just look at the name.

[00:29:33] And I'm like, that's fucking genius. Anyway, I started doing that, but then you can't count word count on the notebook, dude. You can't. And there is a lot of, especially for me, a lot of satisfaction and motivational potential. Wait, I need to know the number. I did X. I have a spreadsheet that shows how many words I wrote a day.

[00:29:58] I have one zero so far, but I knew that day it was going to be a zero. So I've forgiven myself for that. So yeah, what I do is I just open up the word doc and I just fucking type some bullshit. It's pretty bad. I don't know where the story is going to go. I have a vague idea of what some of the ideas and themes will be. But I don't know. I have no expectations for it other than that.

[00:30:28] Like, it does give me structure in the big, awful time. And like, it is something, you know, I've been I'm moving. That's the thing that really killed me about the 2025 of my unemployment year. I mean, I'm still unemployed now, but I feel a lot better. The reason that I was just absolutely fucking killed 2025 and I was like, that's the worst year of my life. I'm terrible. Is that like nothing happened? Like I moved. Not at all. Uh, I was getting nothing started.

[00:30:55] The only thing I was doing was feeling miserable and applying cold to online application jobs that 10,000 guys did also. And like, so that was just like a poof, a year gone. It's just like I didn't nothing happened. Nothing fucking I didn't move at all. And so like that's I'm doing better. The writing process has brought me forward. Also, I'm reading a lot of books. But that's not a year or there.

[00:31:23] You just got to do that if you're doing this. Some of you said earlier, which I think is true. Like, oh, I need to get past the feeling of writing and just going like, oh, I'm sitting down and I'm stopping myself. Or it's like I am right now. I'm so focused on this idea of having a finished product producing something that looks like writing capital W that the reason I have had a lot of success with Workflow is because it's

[00:31:49] not it's the opposite is a website that that you use. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Workflow. It's basically an outliner tool that has fractal. They call it like fractal nodes. But basically what it means is just like you can zoom in any bullet like any bullet can have any number of lower bullets. And then you can mirror bullets at any level to anywhere else. And they will obviously sync up and you can make it do whatever you need for your workflow. Hence the name.

[00:32:17] The reason I like it is because it and I have mine set up to look like a terminal. It looks like it's a black screen. It's like terminal. It looks cool. But like for that reason, it really squashes that like. I am writing right now and I need to just and it's just like it helps me just get some shit out because it's like I'm not writing. I'm doing a computer thing which is of lower artistic value. And as such, there's less friction.

[00:32:47] And that's why I really like it. And also how Workflow is set up. It's an outlining tool. It's just like if you just jump around, it doesn't matter that everything you're doing is not like super coherent and related. What matters is a shotgun blast in a direction. And I find Workflow is useful for that reason. Yeah. Oh, that's the other thing. I mean, this is one of those things that like as soon as I read it, I'm like, oh, I knew that. If you'd asked me, I would knew that. But like a lot of stuff's like that. That's what sucks. Yeah, right.

[00:33:16] Running, you know, running is going to fucking help. You know this. You knew this since you were like 10. And like you did the same way with just like and not even like you have to eat specifically good in a specific way. I just mean like, yeah, and not eating like shit feels good, too. It's just like, you know this already. But like, yes, but the books are like, you know, if you have like a climactic scene, if

[00:33:43] like you don't know what your story is going to be, but you like, you know, like one moment that like, oh, that's the that's like the spark that it's like, I wish that like, yeah, like write that scene now. Don't worry about how you get there or what happens next. And like it probably will be that when you get to that point, what you've written needs to be deleted and rewritten entirely. But like just it's momentum. It's momentum building is what we're saying.

[00:34:10] We've said this before, which is like you don't need a you don't need permission or like to charge meter to just put in some shit that owns in a piece of work you're making. You can just do it. And like, it's just you could just think like a project manager for a second. It just make life easier on yourself, too. Let's say you have a kick ass scene and you're like, oh, I know how to write that. And then you're just like, oh, but like, oh, how do I make that kick ass scene fit into the other? It's just like, don't worry about it. Stop.

[00:34:39] First of all, the kick ass scene is going to you will make the stuff fit into the kick ass scene. You've made the good piece already. So like the logistics will now be secondary to that. There's so much in right. And we we run into this. You run into this. It's just like it's like imagining like I created this really cool block. I can't wait to put it down and start building with it. It's just like, oh, I don't just I don't know where to put it down yet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. And it just.

[00:35:09] It there. Everything is editing is a retrospective process. It's going back and fixing the shit that's there. This idea that like, oh, I got to really make the right choice right now is wrong. It's think of it like putting a stake in the ground and like, OK, I don't know what the fucking else is going to be built in that location. But the spot. Has a stick in it. And that's where we'll go.

[00:35:32] One of the hundreds of me's is going to put their hands on this project is going to see this stake and be like, thanks, earlier me. And the earlier meal would be like, and thank you for reaching the stake, future me. And it'll all reach hands across time and do the beefy arm meme. But it does feel like when you actually set yourself up in a way that like lets you do that. And it does feel that good. It's just like, oh, OK, I am.

[00:36:02] Honestly, I think that's one of the ways you have to unlock kindness towards yourself and writing is just actively practicing the beefy arm across time with yourself. And also, another important thing, it's really easy to get in your head about all this stuff. I mean, as we pretty self-evident based on this conversation so far, you do have to remember that especially in 2026.

[00:36:29] If you unlock your ultimate potential and write a perfect thing that is no cliches and sounds great and isn't stupid. We have an illiterate society, so it doesn't matter now. Like, oh, well, so just fucking do it. Yeah, you're going to self-publish, self-publish on Amazon and it's going to sell 20 copies, maybe.

[00:36:54] So but like that is not the condition for whether or not you should do it to begin with. Oh, yeah, yeah, yes, yes. Because the point is, the point is, like, as I say, I'm doing this with no expectations. And even that, even just the process is been giving my day structure and it's been making me feel like one day is different than the last, which was not something that was always true in 2025. Also, I'm doing more piano shit, but I'm not going to get into that. Maybe I'll do it on another episode. Piano's hard. You know about this?

[00:37:23] They have so many buttons, dude. Yeah, like because you have like 10 fingers and there's like 12 keys, right? That's really rough. You can't you can't touch them all. Never been horny. Never been horny. Don't tell the paper that I ever got horny. Tom and I want to do more show and tell segments, which is we are both operating off the same prompt

[00:37:50] or question and then we we we say our goofs. I mean, I go and then Tom goes. We don't need to overthink it. So I've not really been thinking about gaming that much lately. Hey, you need to use your hands to do that. I'm looking at your hand right now. There's a brace on it because it hurts. Yeah, and it does. But a huge part of gaming is that the main part of gaming, honestly, is just waiting for the next Smash Brothers to come out. True. That's true. Going on Smash HQ.

[00:38:21] We're going to look at a mess. So it's just like, like, what do I want? What are my three guys that I would like to see in the next Smash Brothers? And then I asked Tom to come up with his as well. And we're going to, you know, show and tell here. And the thing is, like, you're going to hear some of these and you're like, well, the licensing doesn't really seem like it would make. So I just like shut the fuck up. Okay. Like John Wick kills elf in Fortnite. Just shut up. We're so far past that.

[00:38:51] There's no law, dude. Like the Department of Justice is like an all drunk entity. We don't need to worry about that. Finding bonuses because they can't find people to work for them. Like they're like, please come work for us. Like it's a car dealership. Okay. So here. So the next Smash Brothers name, we don't have an kerfuffle. Super Smash Brothers.

[00:39:20] Yeah, I thought a great one. Melee. That would be a good one to name. Oh, no. How about Smash Brothers? New Melee. New Melee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're going to bring Sakurai back from the dead. We're going to hook him up to the mummy machine and he's going to scream very loud as we extract the design docs from his brain. They're going to have the worst menus anyone's ever conceived. Who are the new? You got to have new people, though. Who are the new people? So hit me with some new people.

[00:39:50] I mean, Smash Brothers new Melee in 2028. If you follow me online, you will not be surprised to hear my number one pick. But my number one pick is Cy Abelman from A Serious Man. Ooh! Think of the fucking palette swap costumes. Right off the bat, he's got his cute little golfing hat. With and without a hat is an option. Mm-hmm.

[00:40:17] He's got all of his outfits as all matching color. You've got the baby blue, the classic baby blue from the movie. But that could be any sort of color. That could be a nice mauve. That could be a nice lavender. There's all sorts of options. Yeah. So Cy Abelman, in my view, is a light heavy. He's not like a Bowser, but he has some moves where he does have the super armor on some attacks, right? Because he's a big guy.

[00:40:47] Like, he's a bigger guy. So I don't have a full moveset, but this is what I was thinking. His side B is like a command grab, sort of a running grab. And on contact, he slams you against the blackboard and he says, I fucked your wife, Larry. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it right now. I'm thinking about frame data. Yeah, and like the blackboard would just pop up behind you, like Animal Crossing villager animation style. Like, just think cartoonishly.

[00:41:17] Like, it just comes out of the ground and then it's gone when the animation is done. Uh-huh. His final smash would be, you know how in Captain Falcon's final smash, you just get like transported to the road and he hits you with the car? Oh, yeah. It's one of those like cinematic hits. Yeah, if you've seen A Serious Man, you know the turn that Cy Eichelman is trying to make onto that one road. And, well, you also know what happens to him.

[00:41:45] Now, imagine if in between those two cars. Oh, he drives into Mario. Yes, that is fucking good. Mm-hmm. His down B is a reflector. It is when he's pressed up against the office door of Larry and he's like looking through the little window. So, when you press down B, it pops up and it reflects stuff. It's like Sam has shot her big laser at it. Mm-hmm. That's my first pick. Can I give you my number two? Yeah.

[00:42:15] Eric Adams. Real man Eric Adams. Love it. My notes, my design documents do not have a moveset so much as like a central mechanic, which is this. Of his full Albanian regalia. And then when he gets all the pieces, he gets like a big power up. And then his final smash would be like that times 10.

[00:42:45] It would be like super Albanian. He does this Albanian traditional dance that he's done his whole life because it's such an integral part of his personality. His Albanian nature. His outfits and his alternative costumes, of course, would be the craziest. They would just be insane. He would have probably the best ones. One of them would just be Dr. Mario. He would have Dr. Mario's head on him. It would be terrifying. So, here's one of the things I was thinking about for his moveset.

[00:43:15] Because Joe, you're right that the first thing to think of when you're designing one of these fighting game characters is the central gimmick. New guys need some stupid loop. They need a meter. Exactly. And the specifics can come later. That's what you have a team for. I'm thinking his side B works a little bit like Mario's cape. Where it's a little whoosh. And like getting hit by the whoosh does something. But that's not why you're doing it. Here's what I'm thinking.

[00:43:45] Do you recall his incredible insane video where he talks about how to search your child's room to find guns and bullets and drugs? Oh, yeah. The takeaway from this video is just like you think you know your kid? Well, actually, there's bullets all over your house from your awful child. Yes. So, there's a classic moment where he says something as innocent as a picture frame. Behind a picture frame, you could find bullets.

[00:44:10] And first time I watched that, I'm like, that really goes for any opaque object, sir. But what I'm thinking for his side B, he reaches his hand out. As he's reaching his hand out, a picture frame appears floating in midair. He whaps it down. Now, this is the part that could hit an enemy. It would give him a little bit of stun. Not a lot of damage, not a lot of nut back, but just like the first part of a game and watch animation. Yeah.

[00:44:34] He would whap the picture frame down and there would be a bunch of bullets and he'd grab them and take them. And why would he do that? Well, because his neutral B is to open up a popular knapsack with many different locations that a child might have. And pull out the classic thing that you keep in your knapsack. A gun. A cop's gun. A cop's gun. A cop's gun. And you need bullets for the cop's gun. Obviously.

[00:45:03] I like the sort of play around limiting factor there is. I think when you do the down B move. That scatters the bullets. If you've done it like recently, like almost no bullets come out. You know what I'm saying? It's like a Wario fart. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I like that. You can't. You got it. It's stale moves. You got to keep, you got to use the whole move set. Now, Joe, do you think there's space in the move set? Because I know it's going to be mostly Armenian.

[00:45:31] But is there a space? Albanian. Armenian is the other guy or a guest. Sorry. Do you think there's space to include his deference and love of the great country of Turkey? I, Joe, I haven't talked about this, but I love. That when it was like, we've discovered irrefutable evidence of Eric Adams's corruption and he's been bribed by Turkey. And it's like, I wonder what Turkey bribed him for.

[00:46:01] And like successfully, too. Like, what did they get out of all their like buttering up? And as far as I can tell, it's like, hello, Eric Adams. We are Turkey. We're the Turkish delegation in New York. We want the building that we are going to live in to be really shitty and dangerous. We don't want to follow the fire codes at all. If the fire goes on our building, we want to get caught. Can we please?

[00:46:31] And it's just like, why do they want that? Because it's bugged to hell. They don't want some looky-loos going in there. Oh, yeah. Safety stuff is what I figure. That's, yeah, that's definitely it. What rules about him is like the day after he was done being mayor, he was like straight up on the plane to Turkey, dude.

[00:46:53] He was like, honestly, he was at the swearing in and he somehow stepped aside and was on the plane. It was weird. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But he's my pick. He's my second pick. My final pick, this one's going to be hard to pull off, but I think you'll be done. Well, as the Smash Brothers series goes on, the easy stuff has been used up.

[00:47:21] You need to have more high concept characters. So I think we're ready for this. My third pick for a future Smash Brothers character in the next game, Super Smash Brothers New Melee. is a coin.

[00:47:41] And how it works is you maneuver yourself at another player and then you get absorbed into them. And then they slowly become evil as they become greedy and only want to obey the coin. It's an evil coin. You ever had this happen to you where you have an evil coin? Well, now you can do it. I love this. I think this is really real and makes a strong and powerful statement.

[00:48:09] And all the moves are just like the coin gets flung in that direction. Okay, so what does side B do? You fling the coin left. What does up B do? You fling the coin up. Now, what happens if the character that you put the coin in the pocket of gets KO'd? Do you get KO'd as the coin? No, you get the credit then. You steal it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I love this. The coin.

[00:48:37] And then the different skins are literally different color coins for Mario. Blue, red, the classic. A Yoshi coin. I was going to ask if you can get the coin that's got a square in the middle. I love that. That's a classic of a coin. But if it's all Mario coins, that's a good one. There could be DLC. I don't see. I don't see why there couldn't be. This is actually a perfect opportunity for alternate costumes. In addition, there's the coin.

[00:49:06] Because I'm thinking about all the characters in Smash Brothers. They're going to need alternate skins of them turned evil. Where they have like bulging black veins all over the sides of their face. They're angrier than before. Their skin tone is a little more deathly. There's a lot of artistic expression to be had with a coin. It's a blank slate. Yeah.

[00:49:37] I love it. Okay. Joe, I like your three. I think those are strong and I hope they get in. I'm going to give you my three if you don't mind. Yeah. All right. First one. Come on. You already know. It's Cloth Mother. Oh, dude. Cloth Mother. Cloth Mother. I remember being like 10 years old on the bus to school.

[00:50:05] And some other kid telling me about how to unlock Cloth Mother in Smash Brothers. I'll never forget that bullshit. That's why we got to make good on that promise of childhood. Yes. They said you need to beat story mode. Not story mode. Arcade mode. Single player mode. On very hard. Taking no damage. And it was one of those unfalsifiable rumors. Because like, could you do that? Could you have done that as a child? No. So you could never know.

[00:50:34] And just the idea of playing Cloth Mother in Smash Brothers. It made so much sense intuitively. That you're like, they got to have done it. What are some of Cloth Mother's moves? Neutral B is just going to be to sit there. And everyone's going to want to hug it. Because you'll feel. A reverse command grab. Yeah. It's where you compel others to command grab you. Yeah. It's kind of like Jigglypuff rest.

[00:51:03] Except not like that at all. Yeah. They come and hug you. Everyone who hugs you feels a sense of warmth and belonging and being cared for. And that's going to drop their guard, folks. Tom, can I ask you a question? No. How dare you? No. Go ahead. Do you think Down B is going to be for Cloth Mother whispers? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Cloth Mother is going to whisper some scary stuff to you. And I think this is what the combo is. This is like the bread and butter.

[00:51:31] You use the neutral B to make them hug you. And then while they're hugging, then you say the shit. The whispers. You say the whispers. And the whispers. I imagine the whispers are going to function not unlike how the flower works. Where it's like you get a debuff that constantly raises your percentage. Yeah. Because you're thinking about how Cloth Mother told you to do it today. And you're just like, but why? But why, mommy? Why? I don't have the full moves set.

[00:51:59] For the upbeat, I'm thinking that the cloth sort of billows up and whooshes down and she shoots up. I am just now realizing that one Pokemon that's like pretending to be Pikachu is a Cloth Mother. You know what I'm talking about? Yes. Yes. Mimic you. It's just the thing with like a bag over it that they've drawn Pikachu face on. Yeah. That's Cloth Mother, dude.

[00:52:27] So they're already it's already there in Nintendo's canon. And of course, the final smash will be the cloth is removed. And you see that it's all it's all Cloth Mother's always been Wire Mother. And if you're learning this for the first time, if you're learning this for the first time, I'm really sorry. Because you're probably screaming as loud as you can right now. If you're driving, you die, dude. Whoa. Can you? Some people don't find out about Santa. Some people don't find out that Wire Mother is just Cloth Mother.

[00:52:58] But yeah, it'd be really fucking spooky. Obviously, when the timer runs out, the cloth flies from above and he goes on Cloth Mother. But Cloth Mother, for real, I think that's going to be a high tier character. I agree. I like that one. What else you got? I have I want in Smash Brothers. And this one's kind of long.

[00:53:19] You might need to do some editing to get the text down so that you can have it, you know, fit on the character select screen. But I'm talking about the AI voice from wrestling YouTube channels that starts stammering inhumanly fast and starts making snarling mouth sounds for 10 minutes.

[00:53:42] This is like when they're like Brett Michaels responds to woke and then it's just nonsense. Yeah, I'm going to play a little bit right now for you, both for you, Joe and the listener. This is something that I saw on Blue Sky. It was originally posted by the user Ompu Co. Username is Ompu.co.

[00:54:10] There's apparently a lot of wrestling YouTube channels that have all of their text and voiceover done by AI. Obviously, there's no oversight. This is a pure content mill where they are just going to trick people into watching this shit before they realize what's wrong with this. Oh, it's AI. But by that point, they've already gotten a view. They're already making money. And the cost of production is so low that you don't need to make a lot on each video for it to be a profit.

[00:54:40] But anyway, turns out... It's the same logic as how there used to be videos of just like Spider-Man gives birth to Elsa. It's like it doesn't matter. You crank them all out. Exactly. But what they have not noticed because they are not doing any QA on these is that... Well, the voice does this. ...likely fill up one way or another. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

[00:55:15] That's literally how a toddler sounds when they get caught up on a word. Like I... What? That's insane. Like what? Okay, that's enough. Yeah, okay. I like that. That's really good. I also didn't know about that.

[00:55:45] So now I have a new hobby. There are hours of that. I love after it finishes, it's what, what, what, what freak out. And it just makes those like crunching, those like wet crunching noises and the fucking like stock beat still keeps playing. Okay, so putting his AI voice into Smash Brothers, obviously this is going to be one of those characters

[00:56:13] like Joker, you know, where there's a meter and there are phases and you're swapping between the phases and you want to be in the stronger phase, but you can't be in the stronger phase the entire time. You're going to get too hot and then you got to drop back down and then you got to build up the meter in your weaker phase where you're less, you're less powerful. You're more vulnerable. You got to be more tactical about what you do. But then also when you do enter that stronger phase,

[00:56:41] you kind of like you're on a timer because like you can't be too conservative. You can't waste this ability. You can't waste this opportunity. But then also at the same time, everyone's going to be avoiding you. It's a dance, you know? So I'm thinking that like you can't just have the voice doing that shit all the time. I don't see why you can't, but I'm interested to hear your thoughts. Well, you start off and the voice has got to be talking normal.

[00:57:11] And then I imagine, I'm going to think that the, you know, if we're really going to be very ambitious with the design here, I'm thinking that the B, the special moves, all of the B moves are going to be different between the two phases. Yeah, like based on what level you're at. This is very Monster Hunter. Yeah. I mean this in high praise because it's like the highest IQ design game of all time, you know? Yeah.

[00:57:39] There's a lot of meters in that game. So I'm thinking that like the neutral B and I'm trying, you know, this is going to be a tough thing to visualize because I don't know how you're going to graphically actually, yes, I do. It's going to be a square YouTube like player that just kind of like wiggles around like it's walking on the stage. Yeah. Okay. So I'm thinking that, oh, you will really be special because I don't think this is something that has been explored

[00:58:09] in the Smash Brothers design space. I think this is going to be a rhythm based character. If you are like a rhythm heaven guy, this is going to be the guy for you because I think what's going to happen is there's on the screen of the YouTube player that your character is, there's going to be some sort of visual cue. I'll let the art team decide that, but it'll be like a rhythm game and you got to be hitting your neutral B in time to that. Every time you get a, you know, correct hit,

[00:58:37] obviously that's going to get you faster to the stammering state. But like if you can hit them in the rhythm in a streak, it like is exponential progress so that you can get there fast. I think that's got a lot of potential. I'm just going to point out one design element about this character is that you would be required to both constantly look at the little YouTube screen to time your button presses and dodge and play the stage at large.

[00:59:06] And I'm just saying that if you could play this character, you'd be so good at video games. Yeah. Yes, dude. And this is like, I mean, I haven't played this character because I was already off of Smash Brothers. It's not real. And like it's not real. Oh, that too. But I know I met Minecraft man. They put Minecraft man in Smash Brothers Ultimate. And I remember I watched the reveal and the move set for that motherfucker is so complicated that it made me like puke and die. And apparently pros absolutely wash people

[00:59:36] with Minecraft man. Like it's the same sort of thing. It's a high ceiling. The classic example of also just there are so many characters already. So every time you add a new guy, they have to kind of have a hook, even though, you know, a straightforward character is a reasonable hook. But they're not going to do that because they're charging people money for it. So you're going to get Steve from Minecraft and his side B lets you play Mahjong. Yeah. And while I've been thinking about it,

[01:00:04] here's what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what? what what what no uh uh here's what i'm thinking about uh is that i'm done with this joke and i want to do my third one uh here's my third one and i think this is might be my magnum opus

[01:00:31] imagine you're learning about smash brothers new melee for the nintendo switch 3 and you see reveal that joining the roster finally it's a big friday announcement is getting drunk what do you oh you mean like i main getting drunk yeah smash brothers yeah oh yeah

[01:00:53] get it yeah oh dude oh dude the announcer saying getting drunk it would be oh this game's winner is getting drunk uh i don't think i clapping for uh getting drunk when the time out

[01:01:18] i don't think i need to explain myself okay yeah that's good that's good put getting drunk in smash brothers not as a mechanic you pick getting drunk you are like an elemental do you get drunk no you're playing as getting drunk i i i said i

[01:01:43] wouldn't explain i'm getting mad at the simple mind of the person i'm imagining so i i gotta get off it's getting drunk Joe i'll say it right now and i believe this is the truth and i'm not just saying this as a joke or as a self-aggrandizing thing i think that we're the best podcasters in the world

[01:02:08] we are it's insane and i we cannot say this enough times but like famous people should be legally barred from stop or from start they should be allowed to stop them yeah uh from starting podcasts it's it's uh like the nba will just have podcasts where it's like hey nba player you're gonna talk like there's no

[01:02:31] plan and it just obviously works you're you're taking money out of schlubbs's mouths like ours like you know this famous people starting a podcast is cheating i dare you to find an episode where jason bateman talks about putting eric adams into smash brothers can you find one no because he's

[01:02:56] not on our goddamn level and we exceed these people uh in a huge way and even the people who make great podcasts who aren't uh celebs really creative people who make great work uh we exceed them by miles that's also yeah yeah so there are tiers but like within the tier that we're in we're at the top yeah that's true uh are we done that's all for anime sickos this week we killed it this was one of the

[01:03:23] classic episodes and it's one of your favorites we finished a design document for the next smash brothers this is a deliverable actually we should need to give this to sakurai because he might not need to get plugged into the mummy machine if a lot of the work has been done for him uh he loves the mummy machine though what am i saying he's gonna put himself in it it's

[01:03:49] the pain is the only thing that makes him feel alive anyway i've been tom an anime sicko i've been joe an anime sicko see you next time bye bye thank you for listening to anime sickos i've been tom a sicko you can follow me on blue sky at tom harrison joe was also a sicko you can follow him on blue sky at sharia uncle you can follow anime sickos on blue sky at anime sickos or email us at anime sickos

[01:04:15] at gmail.com you can give us money at patreon.com slash anime sickos if you want uh please leave us a review or something i don't know tell a friend uh anyway until next time bye