The Sickos try to talk about how awful it is to be ruled over by nine cloaked wizards who every month or so put out a new law about how racism is now mandatory, but almost immediately start talking about Disney Quest and Six Flags. Do you guys remember that fucked up Jetsons-ass ferris wheel they had
[00:00:27] Welcome to Anime Sickos Podcast. It's the podcast for geniuses and the only podcast where we look at the four pillars of modern misery, anime, gaming, posting, and jobs. I'm Tom, an Anime Sicko. I'm Joe, an Anime Sicko. Tom, I was thinking of like a second title for the subtitle for the show. You know, like Rocky and Bullwinkle always has like the two titles.
[00:00:51] It's just like, yeah, like this one, it's the anime, the stuff, but then it's also just like two idiots experience the fall. Yeah, yeah. Which I think there's a is honestly a big function of our appeal. It really is. If we're being honest, yeah. Joe, there's one question I'd like to ask you. It's something that I've really been thinking a lot about these days.
[00:01:19] Um, and it takes a lot for me to like vocalize this. But like, I hope you don't laugh at it because it's I'm actually mean this in a very serious way. You a vampire? You a vampire? He was hidden home runs like no tomorrow. You a vampire? You a vampire? I will never stop liking that stupid shit.
[00:01:45] Uh, vampires like historically like get kind of embarrassed about being revealed as one. They're definitely not egotistical freaks that love being vampires. They get nervous and their aura changes and they never show up to play baseball again. Well, Joe, you gotta understand there are certain things that even vampiric power can't get you. Gold? Sure. A castle? Goes without saying.
[00:02:14] But, it takes more than just money and strength to have the ability for 17 other guys to think it's fine to play baseball with you. If they know they're playing with a vampire, they're gonna be like, what's the point of this? And they're not gonna play with you. And also, you're gonna go ah and run away. Uh, so, clearly. It makes sense.
[00:02:43] I, I've, I've spoken on this show before about how the vampire the masquerades game is very good. You have to do the patch though that makes it work. Yeah, well duh. Uh, but it is, it is, it is, it is a good game. The lore I'm a big fan of, uh, and it all stems from like, the first vampire was like Cain. The story of Cain and Abel, like the original. And he was like the first guy to hit a dinger, right? Mm-hmm. So, it makes sense.
[00:03:09] And he drives a cab in the game and everyone knows that when you're in New York, baby, you never know if your cab driver might be a, I mean, might have hit a lot of home runs back in his day. Yeah, you know he's a vampire. But did he hit dingers? Yeah. Although, you can, you look at him when he talks to you in the rear view mirror. How does that work? I guess maybe the mirror thing isn't, isn't a thing in Vampire the Masquerade. Um, the mirror thing is so stupid.
[00:03:39] Whenever there's like an elevated horror, that's like... It's always the same fucking thing. It's like, we're walking, reflective service. Wait a minute. The guy next to me isn't there. Uh-oh. It's no good. Um, have they done that with... Has the movie done it with CCTV? That might be an interesting, like... Well, okay. I don't know. That angle would be kind of good, right? That would be kind of interesting. That's...
[00:04:04] Show, honestly, if I was hanging out with a vampire and I got... And someone showed me the CCTV footage of like me and the vampire like breaking into the chemical plant. Uh... Oh, I was thinking just like, no, I went into the 7-Eleven with a friend. I didn't mean anything like illegal, but okay. Uh, well, and in any sense, if you are like, Tom, watch this.
[00:04:32] And like, you show me that footage and I'm all alone. Dude, I'm thinking Fight Club every time. Like, I durdened my... I got a durden. Oh. I would not think vampire because I guess you could consider it a reflection in the sense that like video is like capturing light data and that's what's coming off of a mirror. But do vampires not be in movies? Well, they have to get humans to play them, Tom.
[00:05:02] Those aren't real vampires? Like, are you... What about the vampire Lestat, Joe? I know he's like a, uh, like a, like a rock star who plays sold out concerts. The vampire LSAT. Yeah. He plays sold out... All those people who are holding their damn phones up are gonna get home and they're gonna be like, fuck, this is terrible. It's not there. Uh, I...
[00:05:31] Can I move on to... I have this, this piece of media that I need to share with everyone because it's... Uh, first we got a new patron to thank, but then yes. Uh, just real quick, we gotta thank our newest patron, Sarah McClintock, who is... Sarah is the director of The Disappearances of Lydia Fontaine, the audio drama I'm in, which currently has four episodes out and you should go listen to them because they fucking whip sack.
[00:05:57] She was the director who would tell us to say the line again in a different way. Good job. And then good job, we're moving on. So if any... So if anyone says a line good on that show, she did it. So thank you, Sarah. Hell yeah. Thank you, Sarah. Anyway, Joe, you gotta show me this media artifact. I understand. Yeah, so this is actually the same Temu toy that says, hey kid, let's learn English letters. Uh... Hey kid! Let's learn English letters.
[00:06:26] My son is very much reconnected with this, uh... It's a... Imagine a speak and say wheel, but each slice is very small because it has all the letters and every letter also has an animal associated with it. Some of the animals I take issue with, x-ray fish. What? What? X-ray fish has come up a lot in my, uh... son's pictographic education and I feel like it is a cop out. Why...
[00:06:54] Why have we left behind the humble xylophone? I thought... Xylophone is good. The Miss Rachel coloring book, which for sure was generated by an AI slave, has x as, uh, depicted as box. And it has like, it's the word box, but then the x part is like, emphasized. And honestly, that's pretty good because that is how you're gonna fucking encounter that in most cases. That's true. That's a big... That's real. Okay.
[00:07:24] Okay, but anyway, uh, this... This toy plays songs, it does ABCs. The issue is it does the ABCs correctly. It doesn't like scat man them, but I don't know what the fuck it says after the ABCs. Cause it's like the part where it's like, now you know your ABCs. It says some other shit and I don't know what it says. Maybe this is like a green dress, gold dress, blue dress, whatever that fuck thing was, but, uh... Lauren and Yanny. Yeah, I don't know, but I'm going to play it.
[00:07:53] Uh, this... Hi kid! Hi kid! Hi kid! Okay, this is it. He's gonna do the regular ABCs and then once Z happens, what is it saying? I know all of these.
[00:08:31] Okay, so like, so as a guy who has heard this a hundred million times, what I hear, and this isn't like real words, D is for DAC, DAC is me, now I know my ABCs. So that's pretty close to what I was gonna say. I was gonna say my honest guess, and I'm, I'm allowing myself to say things that it can't possibly be. Because otherwise I'd say I don't know and that's not funny.
[00:08:57] No, my honest guess of what I heard was E is for fact. That is me. Now I know my ABCs. So very close to what you heard. We're in agreement that it's referring to, it's, it's saying me, it's like, and that's me. It's saying something along those lines. Uh, yeah. So D is for DAC, DAC is me, now I know my ABCs. What is the name of the toy, dude? Could be saying Jack. What is the name of this toy? Does it have a name?
[00:09:26] Is it a digital audio console? That's why it's a DAC, a digital audio converter, I should say. Uh, then that is me. Dude, could you plug this into your hi-fi and use it as a DAC? There's no aux on it. Okay. So I don't think it can be a DAC. No, there's also no title on it. Uh, there's just a, I mean, I'm sure I could find like what Chinese province it came out of, but I don't know what it's named. E is for fact, that is me. You a vampire?
[00:09:56] You a vampire? I don't know what it's, like, I like, it's funny to be like, it's hard to tell what this is saying, but like gun to my head, I don't know what the fuck it's saying. Cause what is it supposed to say? And now you know your ABCs next time won't you sing with me? Correct. Right. Yes. Correct. And it, it says the shape of that, right? Like an alien version of that with the mouth sounds. Also, we haven't talked about how when it gets to Z, Mario shows up.
[00:10:24] There is, there is a faint woohoo. I, I didn't want to say anything as it happened because I didn't want to distract from the main point, but it is insane that that's in there. It's like, it's like the, uh, slide in the soft bank goose presentation where like, there's just a picture of the goose with its head thrown back and its wings spread wide. Cause it's probably looking. It's like hell yeah. Yeah.
[00:10:50] That's when you know that the goose value is 71 and everyone's like, Oh my God, I can't believe I undervalued the goose. And the goose is like, fuck you. You people. There's a song on this. That's not ABCs. That sounds like the Zelda, uh, village song. Hold on. You know, no. And you said you didn't want to do music discussion episodes. Shut up. Eat shit. I'll kill you. Isn't that like it? Yeah. Is that it?
[00:11:18] I mean, it's not it, but it's so close as to be as the differences. This is like a Chinese game boy version of the song. Yeah. I'm in Kakariko village, dude. Like, can I buy a large quiver, please? I need a shield. Cause I keep burning it on the one fire puzzle. There is. It's rules. Now I would tell you to do this, except I know that in order for you to, uh, complete this request,
[00:11:46] you would have to go down the stairs and up the stairs. Uh, and each time you go down and up the stairs, I just rolled out. Like, I don't even like use them. Right. I just, I just like, let I clop down. It's so good. You getting over it with Bennett Foddy down. I guess it's the same guys. It's not like it's very different. You want to talk about a guy that has a thing? It's that guy. You know what you need to do? This might actually be your sort of mobility aid solution.
[00:12:15] Is you need to get a big, big pot to sit in and then a sledgehammer with which to propel the pot. I think that would do a lot for your, uh, hypermobility issues. No, I was going to say. Coincides with what I'm doing lately, which is sitting in a big pot, uh, that is cooking me and then noticing that something smells good. Oh, okay. Okay. And it got hotter a little bit by bit. Yeah. Probably very slowly. And you haven't even noticed.
[00:12:43] Um, so I, what I was going to request is that you go and get Ivan's, uh, combination soccer goal and basketball hoop, which is shaped like a giraffe, which when you dunk, wraps at you and legit. It's got bars. Yeah. The issue with that is, uh, it's kind of broken. So like I can get it to do the songs, but it has to go. I'm a jerk. I'm a jerk. I'm a jerk for 30 minutes. It's chopped and screwed. It's chopped and screwed.
[00:13:12] It's the remix. Uh, and you gotta get some lean and then you'll really love it. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, it, I have to upset everyone in the house for half hour first. Of course, Ivan loves it because it's fun. And then after 30 minutes, it does the song. So it's worth it. That's so good. I love that. I'm sad that it is broken, but like, I'm happy that it broke in a funny way. That makes it all. Yeah.
[00:13:40] At least it's like annoying and like, uh, uh, hysterical. Yeah. So I was just thinking about something. I was thinking, I was recalling what we were talking about, about like technological artifacts, such as CCTV footage, revealing that there has been supernatural elements and a monster. Are you about to say that this is really compelling because you can't fake CCTV footage.
[00:14:09] So like, well, the same way found footage is the scariest cause it's real. Yeah. Yeah. I will. Yes. Okay. I wasn't going to say that, but you're right. Let's stick with that for a bit. You can't fake it. Cause it's in movies. When they go to look at CCTV, there's like an old guy who's like fat and not a movie actor or like he doesn't look like a movie actor. So you're like, this guy's not like they've, this is his job. He didn't know the cast and crew. Like he's a different guy. Yeah. And they go to him and they're like, can we see the CCTV?
[00:14:39] And he's like, Oh, I guess. And you know what he always does is he takes out a fucking VHS tape. Now you, that is where found footage comes from VHS tapes. So it's impossible to fake. How are you going to get it on there, dude? How do you know how you would fake footage on like a DVD? You put it in your computer and you open up a video editing software, bland, easy and bland, but like a VHS tape, like brother, I don't even know how you would go about faking.
[00:15:07] We're both unemployed kind of like I'm thinking I'm seeing an opportunity here. We need to go to a haunted locale, start a small business. And it's just like, what's going to happen here is when people get killed and they leave behind their phones that have all the footage of them being killed by ghosts. No one's going to believe them because they're on a phone. So what we will do is we will convert all those footage from those dead people's phones into tapes,
[00:15:34] thus rendering them real scary and a value add to the economy. Wow. Wow. That's pretty good. Um, we'll put a pin in that. We might come back to that later and see if we can really make a money making venture out of it. But here's my original point that I was thrusting at. So a piece of a technological ephemera reveals a supernatural event.
[00:16:02] And so I watched the show Widow's Bay and actually, as far as I know, your son watched the select screen. Correct. Yes. We were in Brookfield, Wisconsin, and there was a sports bar that had 100 TVs and then one TV that had the Netflix menu for Widow's Bay. And oh, my God, he was so fucking locked in to Widow's Bay.
[00:16:26] And I'm I hear it's quite good. It is quite good. The photograph of Ivan staring in the middle of this family diner at an off screen screen is one. I mean, every photo of him is the funniest thing I've ever seen because he's the best. But just the absolute absence like he's gone like Ivan's not. Oh, yeah, man. Absolutely. Yeah, he's yes, yes, yes. He was fully disassociated.
[00:16:53] He was living the fiction of the DVD menu. He was having a great time. So the reason I bring up Widow's Bay is and this is not too much of a spoiler. It's a great show. I think I fear I'm going to get severance again, which is to say the first season is just absolutely killer. And I have almost no like criticisms. It's just like I just love that. Like I straight up like love that. Wow, wow, wow.
[00:17:20] But much like severance part of what was so compelling is there there's this mystery throughout this really interesting mystery that they give you little clues to. But at the end of the season, you don't really know anything that concrete. And I fear because it's a huge hit on the same surface as they're going to have to spell everything out and make everything.
[00:17:46] No, no, I don't. I see now I remember that you did not watch season two of severance in its entirety. What happens is this show, which, you know, the creator was like, I like I never thought we'd get one season. It's a big hit. And they're just like, so you're making four. Right. And they're like, uh, I guess I can't turn down that money. Yeah, we're making four seasons. And so season two is just like nothing.
[00:18:12] Like truly, it is insane how often in severance season two there are conversations between characters, all of whom know all the information. There's no one. There's no rube on screen in the scene that they're trying to lie to. And they're like these people are like discussing, like, what are we going to do for evil? Like, what's our plan? And they speak exclusively in like when One Piece does foreshadowing and Oda doesn't know what it is yet.
[00:18:42] And he's just like, ah, this reminds me of when that man did a certain thing on that day. And it's just like, what the fuck? Like, don't even have this scene if it's going to be that vague. Jesus Christ. Anyway, that's what I mean about getting set. I fear that it's going to be so big a hit.
[00:19:00] They're going to be forced to stretch it out. And the drips of mystery, you know, the revelations are going to come so slow that it's going to absolutely kill the momentum, especially considering it is an Apple TV show. So, you know, six years till season two, at least. Anyway, this is I'm I'm getting mad at things that haven't even happened yet. And I'm also losing the thread. So here's what I was going to say.
[00:19:25] This is not a spoiler to say, but in Widow's Bay, there's a scene where it seems like everything's normal. And then there's the reveal that actually all along this has been like really fucked up, like cults, like witch shit. But because of spells, everyone saw it as normal. And then the big reveal is so like, oh, my God, what the fuck?
[00:19:48] What's been going on? I think that something like that is happening with this speak and spell toy. Hey, kids, let's earn English letters, because I'm pretty sure that what it's saying at the end of the ABCs is like a spell, dude. I think it's like recasting the glamour. Oh, I see. It's as easy as for Dak. I am. It's refreshing the cantrip. I see. I see.
[00:20:15] I, I, you know, I do feel better every time I hear it. Do you? I do. I do. I just a little calmer and I just. Feel a little better about how the big dark will be waiting for me, you know? Yeah, I was like I was feeling really down this morning. I feel very low energy. I don't even really know if I wanted to record. I was like, what will we even talk? I don't even think I have a topic. Like, I couldn't think that we had something we were talking about yesterday. And I was like, I couldn't think of any ideas for it. I think you played that.
[00:20:45] And when we got into E is for Fact, That is Me, I was like, where? Where? I'm hitting record right now. So, yeah. Do we want to talk about the horrors now that we're buoyed by the. Yeah, a little. I'd say. Let's see here. If nothing else, I want to play that bumper again. I put a lot of work into it. It's good. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:17] Let's talk about. Live from your play. The horrors. We said this before, of course, that like no one needs analysis at this point. But the fact of the matter is the Supreme Court gets to do drops. They get to just be like, all right, these things are gone now.
[00:21:45] It's not hyperbole to clearly state that almost a majority of the Supreme Court does not believe in the Constitution. Like as it is plainly written. There's no further analysis needed beyond that. There's what this. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. It happened. Like it's done. Like it is the equals this. Like the equation is over.
[00:22:11] You don't need to like, I don't want to say politicize it. We don't need to play like a horse racy with this because if you're still doing this, if you're still having any discussions that like the court is like an institution that is inherently like worthy of like acknowledging or respecting. You're like already 400 years too late. You a vampire? You're so old. You're so fucking old.
[00:22:38] And this was the last like drop of the, like the court is like seasons, right? They've seasons. Yes. Yes. They've seasons and then they drop them. And this is my understanding of the last one of this season. And then Alito is like, well, at this point it was maybe leaked that he was going to step down because he's, he like walked it back now. I don't see any situation where he would stick around because it's like, I got to do the thing I wanted to do, which is end birthright citizenship.
[00:23:08] I got to vote for that. And they're evil, but they're also not stupid in the sense that like they are aware no one likes them. Like they are like, they are aware. The reason John Roberts does his like, it's important to remember the thing because that is like a sort of like animal reflex of his that acknowledges that everyone hates him. It's like that is, it is a hated institution. It is one that is not respected. I wonder how much that matters.
[00:23:38] The, the sort of universal public hatred and the fact that they're aware of it. I mean, I know, and you know, and I bet the listener knows that many of the key Trump administration personnel, most famously, one of the most hateable people in the universe, Stephen Miller live on us army bases as their primary residence. And I think that is a hundred percent so that they can have the fucking scenario that Michael Scott,
[00:24:07] as a child tells Edgar R. Meow, the, the puppet cat newsman on the kids show that he was on, that he shows everyone, which is one day he's going to be, uh, he's going to live in a house with a hundred kids. And that way no one can say no to being his friend. And obviously this is a thing that is said that when you hear it, it cuts through your rib cage and makes all your blood come out. It's, it's a devastating emotional thing to hear.
[00:24:35] And it is of course presented like that in the show to, uh, to be clear. Yeah, there is, I mean, say what you will about the office. It got bad, whatever it's, it's fake and choogy and millennia, whatever it you were a chump. If you think it's not a very strong sitcom for at least a large part of its run. And one way is that after Michael Scott as a kid says that there is a cut to the cat newsman puppet with its jaw drop,
[00:25:01] just sort of like looking at a thousand yard stare of like, I can't believe I just heard that, but it's a puppet. It's very funny. So good. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, anyway, so that's what Stephen Miller has done. He is, he wants to live in a world where it is impossible for anyone not to be his friend because it's their job. Um, and that's what he does. So it's one of those things where it's like, okay, obviously he knows everyone hates him and that it would be dangerous if not for his physical health.
[00:25:30] Uh, uh, at least for his mental health to be in, you know, with civilians. Cause he can yell at him. There is a point where people are just yelling at you at every restaurant. I don't know what that specific point is. Uh, but it can occur. And I, they were obviously aware of it, but I'm just like, does that actually matter? Like, cause they all have the, the resources to have that escape valve.
[00:25:53] If not, you know, living in a military base, at least having the money to live with exclusively rich people who have the same evil. Or just soldiers. Yeah. Me too. Or just soldiers that have to be there because it's their job. Um, I know you said that there is no analysis to give because it is, you know, transparent, but I will say this. This was something that I saw.
[00:26:20] And it's one of those classic things where I saw a post as I was just scrolling by and I was like, huh. And then like, as time went on and I thought about it, I'm like, oh my God, that's so true. That's exactly true. That's so real. But then by that time, I don't remember. I never knew who said it because I was just scrolling by, but now I can't find it. And I don't know who said it, which I apologize to whoever said this because I'm going to fucking take your great insight without accreditation.
[00:26:47] Uh, so a lot of the things that people would say about the Supreme Court when they would have their ridiculous, evil opinions, when they would do stuff like when the thing about fucking gerrymandering where it's like, it's not racist. Oh, it's only racist if you think it's stopping racist. Uh, and yeah, I know what you mean. They've constructed like sort of a legal web where effectively racism equals anti-racism. Yeah.
[00:27:17] And the only thing something can, the only way something can be anti-black racism is if someone makes like a sworn affidavit that says I'm doing this to fuck the black people and, and I'm not getting anything out of it. Like I'm not even getting a benefit. That is not allowed. However, if you gerrymander a state so that no black person's vote counts and you do it and you put a sworn affidavit that says I'm doing this to fuck the black people and also help my party's electoral chances, then that's legal.
[00:27:47] Because like what? You're not allowed to, to, to help your party out? It's not. It's political. It's, it's, it's just politics. Uh, but this is like, this is like second grade got you shit. If you have to think about it for a second, I'm sorry. Well, thinking is not a part of this. I mean, that's, that's, that's part of why the court is so illegitimate and, and hateful. Um, but when people, when that came out, people were saying like the, the way they're talking about it, it's like racism doesn't exist.
[00:28:15] Cause like the, the, the bar you have to clear to prove that it was racism, uh, is impossible. And I mean, like this is the talking and it has to involve explicitly the N word. Like, let's be honest. Like it, that is much of this has also just been to make racial animus, uh, extracted out. And then having the thing that confirms it be like such a perfect specimen that would never happen. Exactly.
[00:28:46] And, uh, it's like, are they saying they're trying to pretend like racism doesn't exist. And the, the thing that I saw that I was like, oh, that's actually what it is. And again, I wish that I had the author of this post so that I could credit them. Oh, well, uh, it was thus, it was like, not there actually. What they're actually doing is that they believe racism is right. Like they believe that like, it is moral.
[00:29:13] And like, honestly, like, what are you even doing if you're not subject? Yeah. And it's, they really believe because they are less, right? Yeah. Like it's like, like, whatever, like what's the discussion? Like what are, what's even the counter argument? Like why would the lesser races not be less? Like we have to give them less. Don't you see? Um, and I really hate that that's the law of the land now in many ways, increasing number
[00:29:41] of ways with every fucking new mixtape the court drops. I hate these people. And I hate these old men. I hate, I hate the girls too. Yeah. I hate them for you. It's, if I like any of them individually on the court, which I don't think I do, the institution that they are part of is the issue. So. Yes. If someone's like, but don't you know that the liberal justices write very scathing dissents?
[00:30:07] And I'm like, um, sorry, they're in a building with the other eight of them every day. Dude, and the doors are unlocked. There's something else that would do a lot more for justice than writing the dissent. I don't care. If you know what I mean. I mean, bring them all copies of Minecraft and then they'll play video games and become nicer. What else could I have meant? Of course. The total disgrace of like the American state fair though. I do love this. I do.
[00:30:37] Oh, it's funny, dude. I am. How do you, how do they say it? I am eating. I'm eating, dude. I'm eating the tea. Yeah, that's true. I like it because when I see them, the feeling is not like, oh, I am ashamed. It's like, yeah, you should feel bad. You should fucking feel bad. It's, uh, I already feel bad. Thanks for getting on my level. You know what it is?
[00:31:05] This is, it's, it's reassuring in a positive way. And I'll tell you why. Because when all this shit is happening, when all of these, when these, these, like, satanic demons are just in total ascension and, and are winning on all fronts. Just a big Nazi, uh, eagle on the White House. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, fuck. And like, and this is, you know, say what you will. But like, it is nominally a democracy. And the democracy got us to this. And I'm like, uh-oh.
[00:31:35] The American character is such that, like, I'm the weird, well, I've always been the weird freak. But like, someone who, like, wants people to be nice more often than not is like the freak pariah. And actually, the culture wants, uh, satanic death villainy and AI bullshit and propaganda. And the culture, the culture might very well still want those things, but it has to look good.
[00:32:05] And this shit looks so bad. It's embarrassing. It is an incredible reminder that actually this movement has not and will never actually capture the hearts of, of the people. And in a way, other, I mean, it captured the hearts of people who, like, want to see blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the ones who say, we'll fucking give it to you. But that's a different thing than getting people together and celebrating something.
[00:32:35] Yes. Well, they have nothing to celebrate because, again, it's their reactionaries. There's no, there's not, there's no core to them other than kill the other. That would be pretty good, though. No, I was, what I was thinking of was, I went to Disney Quest when I was little. Oh, Disney Quest was so sick. Yes. It was, did you, it was so fucking cool. I, you want to know how I knew this country was fucking over? Disney Quest went away. So sad.
[00:33:03] Did you play at the Chicago Disney Quest the four player Hercules game? Remember that? No, but you need to tell me about this because I'm going to disassociate and talk about another game after this. Go. It was like a Star Fox. It was like a rail shooter in space. And it was four players. So me and my mom and my sister and me could play.
[00:33:29] One of you played as Pegasus the horse who was driving the chariot. So you were like piloting the Star Fox ship. And then the other three had doodads that like, like turrets that you could move in real life. And you're like, you're sitting on like a real thing. So this is like lucky and wild, but taken to the next level. Yes. And there's like a big projector screen in front of you that has like the crosshairs and whatnot that move when you move the doodad. And you got to shoot down the monsters and such. That's what I was like.
[00:33:58] I'm like, if they really want to actually like consolidate their cultural hold, what they need to do is not have shoddily made crappy pavilions with pictures of of pillars pasted to the walls. And like a paragraph of text being like Delaware is a non woke state. We have a long history of hating woke. Anyway, pavilion over.
[00:34:24] What they need to do is just have one of those for like killing the people that the MAGA guys hate. Like obviously. Or just make a Disney quest. What should be on the National Mall? A Disney quest. For real. OK, tell me about the Disney quest bit you wanted to say. It was like I think it would like 12 or so people would play at one time and it was.
[00:34:45] It was a it was a big projection or a large screen on the wall and it was a Pac-Man maze and it was like everybody except one person was a Pac-Man. One person was the ghost and not unlike a zombie game where you when obviously when the ghost gets people, they become ghosts. They turn to go. And it's just a last man standing thing. But the in addition to that, obviously being fucking cool, the controller was like this this thing you sort of like stood on.
[00:35:15] So when you wanted to move Pac-Man, you like had to actually kind of like shift your whole body. It was a DDR type. Yeah. OK, exactly. Instead of like a DDR pad, imagine you are like a ball in the middle and then you like rotate the ball in the directions of the stuff with force. And it like is fun because the whole thing tilts. I think this is a new segment called Let's Talk About the Theme Parks.
[00:35:53] Let's Talk About the Theme Parks. Joe, you ever been to Great America?
[00:36:12] OK, I'm going to open with this because I need to get it out before I forget one of my most cherished memories of life or something that didn't even happen to me. It's just something I observed. As is the case in many high school physics classes, you do get to go to Six Flags at the end of the year. I remember I went on to the Iron Wolf is the standing one. I don't know what the Iron Wolf is like one of like the basic coasters.
[00:36:42] There's one where you're like standing basically, you know, harnessed the whole time. I think maybe it's the Iron Wolf. So I'm going to go ahead and say yes. So here's the magic that I got to observe. There is this kid named Travis who is obviously in school with me. And when you get on the Iron Wolf, how it's set up is like you use you kind of like ease your body down onto like the harness. And then it takes your weight a little bit. And then the things come down. Travis was wearing Heelys.
[00:37:11] So what had happened is his feet went out from under him. Yes. Sorry. No. So Travis was wearing Heelys. So his feet went out from under him and all of his weight went on his dick and balls. And then we took off. And it was just this kid yelling because it obviously hurts. He had a bag full of mashed potatoes at the end. He was just like, oh, wow, I guess that can happen. But yes, do your shit. Did you eat a churro? I'm sure it was great.
[00:37:42] Sorry. I got it. I'm not over what happened to this kid. He was punished by the gods for wearing Heelys at Six Flags, which at that time. Think about what he was doing. The meta. He was doing the meta. Yes. It's faster than walking. Yeah. Yeah. And to be brought low. Oh, my God. I love that. Okay. Honestly, that's probably what it felt like at D-Day when the guy next to you gets blasted.
[00:38:12] It's like, okay. Oh, dude. Great. I can't do anything about it. So I'm supposed to keep running forward? Yeah. Okay. Through the water, huh? Jesus Christ. Did I get a churro? Here's what I remember about my Six Flags experience. You know, some people... You know about coaster heads? There's people who are obsessed and travel to go to places like this.
[00:38:40] Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, not as good as 30 Rock, obviously. The fact that her mom, who is missing from her life, is because she's a coaster head, is good. It's a better joke the way you just explained it right now than in theory. I think the latter two seasons of Kimmy Schmidt get real ropey. They're punched down, if you get my meaning. But, yeah, that is pretty funny.
[00:39:06] Anyway, so the point I was making is some people ride a roller coaster and they're just like, oh, that's the only thing I want to do. I went to Six Flags for the first time and I was really excited. And I went on some coasters. And my response every time I got off of one was like, jeez, that was an ordeal. That was really stressful. Like, I'm glad that's over. And so I went on a few just in case like, okay, maybe the first time I was just like scared.
[00:39:35] And I, you know, I didn't know what to expect. But then it was just like, no, I just don't like getting tossed around by this piece of shit thing. And so I was like, you know what? Let's do other stuff. And I was with my sister and my older brother at this Six Flags visit. And it was getting near the end of the night. And we were like tired. So we've been walking around everywhere.
[00:40:00] So like, let's just do something really just like chill and and like low energy and just to get our, you know, get our energy back. And there is this thing that is like the Six Flags Great America's equivalent of the Ferris wheel. And it's like perfect. That's the thing that you just sit your ass down on. And is this the one that's like the worst than any coaster? Dude, you have seen where my story goes.
[00:40:27] The same thing happened to me because it's like it's like 4 p.m. Everyone's exhausted and sun drunk. And you're like, let's let's sit on the bench device. So, OK, folks, this is like a space age. Like this is like the Jetsons Ferris wheel. This is not your daddy's Ferris wheel, unless your dad, unless you're Ivan, in which case it is. So what it is, is there are like it's like a tree.
[00:40:56] It's like a big pole and it has a bunch of arms. And at the end of each arm is like a big claw. You know, it looks like it looks like it is just this many branched like thingy of metal sticks. What am I fucking saying? A many branched item of metal poles that extend outward and then bend down. And those spin 360 degrees independently of the direction that the rest of the tree goes.
[00:41:24] Yes, because the central pole spins. So that spins the, you know, the thing, the main thing that holds the hands. And then each hand is spinning as well. At the end of the fingers on the hands are chains. And hanging from the chains are the little compartments that you sit in. And this is marketed as like a Ferris wheel of the future. So it's like Ferris wheel. Okay.
[00:41:52] The absolute fucking white knuckled terror that comes from being high in the air. It is the stomach inverter. Hanging on one chain. No. And I've done like the giant drop type rides where it's just like you go straight up for a hundred miles and straight down. This is a hundred times worse because the thing with the giant drop is you have an expectation
[00:42:22] of what's happening. But the minute this six flags thing goes, you're not ready for it. Like you can see people do it and you can see people sit in it. But when it starts going, it's like your blood is forced to flow the wrong way. And you are you, you might be thinking at home like, oh, it's like spins really fast. No, no, no, no, no, no. It doesn't spin fast. The whole thing is very slow. That's part of the fucking awful bit is because if you're on a giant drop and it turns out
[00:42:51] that this is too much for you and you're like really overwhelmed. Yeah. Checks out. Cause it's scary as fuck. Well, yeah. Also that, but also it's done like in a minute. When you get on this shit and you, you know, leave the ground, you're up there for so long. It is truly disorienting in the sense that like, it's the feeling of like sky, ground, chair, sky, ground, chair.
[00:43:18] Like you have no sense of horizon. Your stomach is a knot. I am a coast, like I'm not a coaster head, but I like them. Um, this is just different because it's like, this is what they do to condition astronauts. Like it's not fun. So every other, I'm trying to think if there is a, an example that does not meet with what I'm about to say. I'm going to, I don't know, but I'm going to say most just to be covering my ass.
[00:43:47] Most amusement park attractions feature the, the, the concept of a stable base, like the, like a ground. Cause when you're in a, when you're on a roller coaster, you're going all over the place, but you're always on the track, which is the ground. If you are on a normal Ferris wheel, everything feels very secure. You feel like you're in an elevator. You're like an electron cloud. It's like, you're not ever in like one space. They can kind of map you.
[00:44:16] Generally, the fact that you were hanging on a chain means that every move this thing makes. And again, it's making weird ass moves. The entire time is translated through a wiggly ass spindly ass thing. And you're up and, Oh my God, I forgot to also mention that the hands can like lean from side to side. So like one, one has higher than the other. And that is, that is changing as well.
[00:44:42] So you like every axis of movement is happening all the time and it's happening in a very sort of unmoored way. Your body is not experiencing gravity. It's experiencing a new type of gravity. Uh, like it has a clear rule, but it is very scary and it is feels very different. So I was like a little-ish kid. I was like nine or 10 and my older brother, uh, he was like the coolest dude. Me and my sister loved him because he would like hang out with us.
[00:45:12] He would like, uh, you know, take us places, do, uh, do the things we wanted to do. Be nice to us, like buy us a treat. And we're like, Oh my God, he's the coolest dude. I love, I love my big brother. Um, and I'm like, he's brave. He like, he knows about all these coats. Like he would never be scared of a coaster. Uh, I'm so I'm not going to be scared of a coaster either. It's going to be perfect. Like, uh, and I like when I saw how he looked on the Ferris wheel, I was just like, Oh no,
[00:45:41] like it's not just me. Like, like he will die like a man. You're so high up to one chain link breaks and it feels like they're going to constantly. Yeah. And this thing moves. You have, we have no excuse for being surprised because when you like are done with the ride and you are bending over the previous party, they was just there still bending over and trying to recover. Uh, and you saw them do this.
[00:46:11] You have no excuse, but you think it's going to be different for me. Like all the D-Day guys, they thought it'll be different for me. Jesus Christ. Joe, as a result, you'll never believe what I'm about to tell you. My high school physics class, much like yours had the promise all year that we're going to go to six flags at the end of the year.
[00:46:35] And it will be, there will be like a little fucking worksheet with four problems about like momentum and angles that will have a fucking some connection to roller coasters. But it's a fig leaf. It's just for fun. Yeah. We're doing this to have fun. Okay. Um, I so didn't want to go through the drama of being like, I don't actually like roller
[00:47:00] coasters because I was already the kid that no one respected or liked and had no friends. So like to also be like, by the way, I'm going to puke after every single one. I don't even like the thing that everyone thinks is cool. Did I mention my legal name is Gaylord? I, dude, I was like, oh, I'm sick. I can't believe it. How awful.
[00:47:28] I'm sick on the six flags day. That's awful. So I, uh, I faked, I didn't even fake sick in the sense that I like tried to, uh, hide it from my parents. You were just like, mother, I will become a ghost if I am forced to ride the coasters. Yeah. Just like, I'm not doing like, that's going to be a huge burden for me. I'm opting out. And she was just like, this is not a fight worth having. So yeah.
[00:47:56] Mom, I'm scared of mandatory fun. And yeah, they're going to, I'm going to get, I'm going to get made fun of. It's just the facts folks. I'm going to be on the news. My head is going to come off. A little gay boy has bad time. We're at 11. Well, every time though, I am at a theme park, I think about the specific video medium of the shit they show you before a ride.
[00:48:25] And I've always wanted to recreate the vibe of that for something for comedic. You know what I mean though? Yeah. Like you're doing the Batman ride and it's just like, oh no guys, the jokers here, like shit like that. Yeah. I love that shit because you have to watch it a hundred times. They should do. We should see about how we can implement that sort of form factor for a podcast.
[00:48:52] The only podcast that is also played before the Batman ride. That too. Okay. I think we can do both. First do that. We would, you know what? We already have that sketch we did where the gag was that there was a guy. He thought that the joker was a real clown. Oh yeah. Yeah. We can catch him when he's going in between birthday parties. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, he's going to be at the circus. Like, have we checked the circus?
[00:49:21] And it's like, he's not like a clown. It's like, no, he is. I've seen him. He's clown. He's going to be at the circus. That's where he works. And it's like, no, no, no. He's not like a working clown. It's like, of course he's not a working clown. He steals. He's a criminal clown, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we can play that. That's going to be good. I was thinking more along the lines of like, in order to get to our podcast, you have to stand in a line and there's going to be a recording of like, this is Gotham City Police.
[00:49:50] Batman has been seen in hot pursuit of the anime sickos who are rumored to be making a podcast at the old chemical plant with a vampire. But the CCTV footage shows. Yes. Yes. And as you're saying this, this would be so fucking fun. I'm realizing this is the same energy and fun that was previously the FEMV cut scenes. You know, like when it would be like FMV. FMV. Sorry. What did I say? You're pronouncing it like FEMV. And you know what?
[00:50:19] It's like facts. It's like how gamers see facts and are just like, that is, that's its own word. And like, no one thinks it's FAQs. I think that's where you were going. I think actually that's the nobler thing to do is what you did. Anyway, continue. Yeah. I just, I feel like it's, it's the lost art of the FMV is alive and well in the shit before
[00:50:42] a roller, not, not a rollercoaster ride because like it's categorically, these cannot be rollercoasters. They have to be like a thing where you sit and look at screens in the dark. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh, because the, the coasters are outside and you have to be inside in a dark room waiting and watching this video. Have you watched, I know you haven't, so I'm actually going to just not even ask the question.
[00:51:09] You should watch, you and the viewer, the viewer probably already has seen this, uh, the Jenny Nicholson YouTube videos where she talks about shitty amusement parks. She's very funny and, and one of the best YouTube video makers. But, uh, there's one bit where she goes to the Avatar land back when that was like the big bet that whatever park had made on like, this is going to be our new flagship park. I think it was, it must've been Disney. It was Disney.
[00:51:39] It was like, this is our new flagship park. And then like, as soon as this like multi-million dollar park opened, they got the Star Wars license. And they're like, oh, fuck this. And, uh, left the Avatar land in the dust. Anyway, uh, she did a huge video about how it was a shoddy and cheap and, uh, crappy experience that did not work at all because no one gave a shit about Avatar or remembered it.
[00:52:05] And there is like the signature ride, which is like a motion sim with like a projected screen shows what you're doing. Uh, and the, the premise is that you are going to get zooped into an Avatar body and you're going to be blue and you're going to be riding on one of the fucking birds that they fly on. And then that's the ride.
[00:52:28] Uh, and they have these videos where like scientists are like, oh, Hey, what's up? I bet you're wondering what's going to happen. Well, guess what? I'll explain, uh, you're going to be put into what's called an Avatar. Now this is a, and it's like, he shows these videos and they're one, the worst thing you've ever seen. And two, they have to repeat the core conceit of like what an Avatar is and what it means for you to be in an Avatar. Yes. Like seven times.
[00:52:58] There's like an edutainment aspect to this where it's like cumbersome because it's not supposed to be interesting. It's supposed to give you information first. So it has to be clunky. And I fucking love it. It's, it's the same way. Like when video games have really close, not clunky, but like momentum killing tutorials that ultimately, uh, come down to like, this is how you walk space Marine. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
[00:53:25] There was, I mean, talking about momentum killing tutorials again, I hate to do this because it is so negative. And I only know about this because of the kindness of, of friends who wanted to include me in the fun. Uh, the tutorials of marathon are about as bad as a game could ever be. Like after you have your first mission, which I have no idea what I'm doing. And it's very confusing. It's like, all right, mission over. Okay. Here's a bunch of pop-ups. This is your fault.
[00:53:54] This is where you keep your load out. Now this is your, now this is your codex. This is where you keep your vault. And then this is your, and it's just like, what the, what are these words? I don't know what's happening. Ah, very clunky. Um, I got off topic. We were talking about those videos. I think it's especially funny because like, if you have like a video of like Batman needs your help on this roller coaster to defeat the Joker, like everyone's going to get that
[00:54:21] because they know who those dudes are. But like, okay, so there's like this body that like we grew in a vat, you know, and no one's in there. Yes. Yes. He's basically a dead guy, but your brain is going to get put in him. You're still got, your body is still going to be here, but it's going to feel like you are him. Okay. Uh, and I was, if I was designing this ride, uh, what would happen?
[00:54:50] Is it the, the procedure fucks up and then body horror begins. It's you have to learn sooner than later. That sometimes you might look down at your hands and your flesh is just bubbling. Like what's going on. You'll never know. Is it going to go back to normal? No, that's the horror. Uh, that'd be pretty good.
[00:55:15] There's a super Mario theme park that in theory is like my stupid slop, right? That's probably fine. I, if there is, and I know there is, I don't even, I haven't seen any like footage of this or, or like reviews, but I just know there is because like someone's getting fired if there isn't. If there is a fucking thing of bricks, a cube of bricks suspended in the air via some sort
[00:55:42] of hidden pole that's holding it up and has some sort of pressure sensor that if you hit it from below, it makes the coin sound brother. I'm standing under there and doing that until it stops. Yes. Like I am. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I want to fight a toad. You want to kill him. I said fight. I said fight. I, okay. Just for sport. I just want to arm bar them. Okay. Okay.
[00:56:12] You're sparring. You're having fun. Yeah. The toad is happy. The toad's, the toad is also getting better at fighting. Yes. Okay. Okay. You're not attacking a toad. You're saying toad. Let's. No, I'm not waiting for the, like the toad to just. Finish clocking in and then spearing him from behind. No, no, no, no. I bet you could though. If you did, you would win immediately. But I mean, for whom is that not true?
[00:56:37] I saw a YouTube video of people going to this dragon quest. Park in Japan. And there are two things that are very charming about that. One is that unlike the Nintendo world and the Star Wars world and the Avatar world where these companies are plunging millions of dollars into making these like sumptuous top of the line experiences. IP mechas. Exactly.
[00:57:07] The dragon quest park was like, we have a couple of hundred feet of green space and we put a bunch of little kiosks down and you walk through them and then that's it. So I thought it was very charming that it was so low stakes and like low ambition. But the thing you do though is you have, you get given like a little booper that's like your chip or whatever.
[00:57:36] And when you get to the kiosk, the kiosks obviously have like a sculpture of a slime or like, you know, some cute dragon quest thing or like a, you know, a pot. It's like, I bet I could break that pot, but it's, it's attached to the ground. When you boop your booper on this kiosk and like of the, of something comes up on a screen and like you get to like have a fight. Right. And like, if you win the fight, like you get loot and it gets like left on your booper so that when you get to the shop.
[00:58:06] So I'm hearing high density whimsy. They packed a lot of fun in a little space. Exactly. If it weren't for the fact that international travel costs all the dollars that there are now, I would say that we gotta go there. I, I have it like, I think a good attraction for that little park would be the following. It is a little hut that is shaped like a dragon quest slime.
[00:58:35] And then when you go into it and sit down, there's a projector that shows you every monster sprite in order throughout all the games. And then when you're done, you get up. Yo, that's really good. Yeah, I would really enjoy that. That happens a lot in sort of like lower tier museums where it's not like, you know, the city's big museum in the, in the, you know, hundred year old building when it's like a
[00:59:03] little museum about like a less important thing. There'll be that sort of dark room with the one bench. Yes. Showing a video or do it like this. It's you do one dragon quest monster at a time and you show every iteration of it across all the games. So it's like, here's the slime. How it is. Here's the, the one with the lips. That's I don't like that one, man. Here's that one across all the games. I was just about to say that, dude. That's so great minds. Great minds. Motherfucker.
[00:59:32] Because, because when you get to the first one that animates, it's gonna, you're gonna, people are gonna be fucking popping, hooting every single time. It's never gonna get boring. You could just do it for just the slimes too. Honestly, to make it fit with the outside appearance of a slime because there's like hundreds of those. There's so many. The coolest one. The, it's not metal slime. It's the one that has like the scouter, the metal scouter. I don't know. Cyber slime.
[01:00:01] I think that one's the coolest. He's, he's checking power levels. Cyber slime. I think I'm getting that right. Dude. Yes. That's real. I don't remember that. Where did that come from? What games was that in? That was in one of the monsters. Yeah. Okay. The only mainline dragon quest game that the cyber slime has been in is dragon quest 10. The Japanese only MMO, which obviously I haven't played. So I need to get on the monsters series is what I'm hearing because they got guys. Oh, there.
[01:00:32] Can I pitch you and the, and everybody on the dragon quest monster series as a Pokemon player? Oh my God. Yes. So here's why I really think they're the, the, the good shit. Uh, the, the, the breeding combining aspect is way less tedious. You're not doing any egg walking around. You're not doing a bunch of weird hidden value shit, but the, the real reason I love it is it is three on three combat. Uh, the, the, the difference of which is,
[01:01:02] is so substantial because it's like in Pokemon. Yes, you have a team and you have like roles to fill, but it's like, okay. And this one, we're actually making sure the guys play well with each other on the fucking field. Like they are actually standing next to each other. They are effectively a little JRPG team. Uh, and it's pretty deep. It's pretty deep while still having the same beats of like the dragon quest combat. Like, uh, yes. Uh, is there end game combat? That is the dreaded move of you do all your buffs.
[01:01:32] Okay. He got rid of all your buffs. Okay. You debuff the boss. He got rid of all his debuffs. That'll happen. Uh, but just in general, it's just the party system is really good. Uh, it's also like easy to grind because you can set, uh, just behaviors up. Like, Hey, you focus on healing. You just use MP. You don't use MP, which is a great way to watch a show while you have your DS next to you. Yep. Pokemon does not have, I guess it does in the sense that you just walk around and smash
[01:02:02] a, but the point is if you have not like fucked with the dragon quest game, the dragon quest monster games and you have any, any, any, any, any inkling to do any monster taming stuff. I put it at the top. I like it more than monster. I like it more than Pokemon generally because it's all like Toriyama guys. Yeah. Say the, the Pokemon designs are iconic and, and incredible and some of the best creature design ever done.
[01:02:30] And that's the reason it became the most profitable IP ever, ever done. But, uh, they don't got no slimes. So I know who's better. I believe there's also sort of like a hidden mega evolution component where if you have like certain monsters out together, they will do a Voltron. Like there's like three slimes that will become a huge slime. I'm pretty sure there's like a golem that does that. I think quest eight might do that too. Yeah.
[01:02:59] I was about to say, I think there's a mainline game where this is a mini game and it's not as deep as you're describing, but like, I remember doing this and I remember having the three types of slime and they become a King slime. And then the King slime is a different move set. Yeah. Um, but it was a mini game. Like you did it like for five rounds and then that was it. Um, and I, so of the dragon quest monster games that have played, they did like the Pokemon red and blue thing where there would be two versions of them.
[01:03:27] I believe, uh, the, the version that was never translated to English was, you're going to laugh, but it was dragon quest monsters, Joker. Uh, uh, and I just haven't played it. And it was just like, here, this is the best one. And then the greedy Japanese, they kept it all themselves. Dragon quest monsters, Joker. Joker. Oh my God.
[01:03:54] This motherfucker has got the Joker in the damn game. Um, I'm Joe, I'm convinced I want to play it. I, I'm looking at the dragon quest monsters, Joker page and on Wikipedia. And, uh, the main image of it has the subtitle North American box art. So, uh, maybe I'm telling you an incredible piece of news. It, it's out. Okay.
[01:04:21] So there, is that, is that the release I was missing? I don't know. The point is. Oh, actually, you know what I think it is, is that it was out in Japan for a full year before it came out in North America. So maybe by the time that happened, you had already written it off. It's like, I'm never going to see this game. Oh man. Is it, maybe it was Joker three. Three. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at the release schedule for the, yeah, this is dragon quest monsters, Joker three, uh, Joker three, not released in the U S.
[01:04:51] So this is what I'm talking about. This is, but you know what? There's autistic people on the internet. They for sure have translated this. Probably Joe. This is, I wonder if this would be better, uh, serve discussing this at another time, but I just want to bring it up very briefly, at least the, the JRPG, uh, loop that you get in, especially when you're fighting one of a final bosses or like really challenging enemies
[01:05:21] that have multiple actions a turn. You get into this loop where you buff your party or debuff the boss. And then the boss undoes the buff or the debuff, thus making what you've done pointless. It's, it's gun kata at the end of that, whatever that fucking movie is where they're just like trying to, yes, they're just trying to point the gun at each other at point blank before they attack. Yes.
[01:05:46] But they can't, they just constantly, constantly shooting bullets right next to their ears, which that doesn't hurt them for some reason, uh, because it's a movie anyway. But, uh, it's so, it's like one of the most like insane, it's like a crazy making experience as a, as a video game player, because it seems like, yes, it seems like you're just doing nothing. And it's like, what, like, what is my life? Like, what is happening here?
[01:06:14] But also you have to do it because it eats up the boss's turns. Like that's a turn. Yeah. That's not flare or it isn't dragon quest would be called like flare a boop. I think flare is just flare. There's no, flare is, it's already the highest level of, of what it does. Uh, cause apple, it does rule that the elements are not fire and ice, but they are like the element is called Sizz. Yeah.
[01:06:42] It's better than a lightning being Zio. Uh, and I don't even, Garu, Bufu is ice. Uh, Adji is fire. All right. So I, I folks, let me give you a little behind the curtain. It's the heat dome right now. I'm going to get on the pink line and get my real ID. And I'm hoping it's not going to fuck up my life.
[01:07:11] I, I, I have to bring my birth certificate and like a bunch, a bunch of my cum. Uh, and it's just like, if I get mugged on the way there, my life is over. All those are my documents. And it's like, how are you going to get your passport replaced? Like, well, first just show up with your birth certificate. It's like, I don't have that. It's like, Oh, well, to get your birth certificate replaced, just show up with your social security cards. Like, Oh, I don't have that. I don't have the cum. I don't have it at all. I don't have anything.
[01:07:42] Uh, the real ID, we had my in-laws over from Spain. We talked about that. But it's why we had to take one of the reasons you had to take a big hiatus in June. Cause as I say, they were sleeping in my podcasting space. Uh, and they, you know, they've been away from the U S for years because they're fucking smart. Uh, they worked out of the country, their whole adult lives and then retired to Spain. Smart people.
[01:08:09] And when they were here, my wife made some comment about her real ID of like, what? Oh, I remember. I remember when I had to go get my real ID. What a pain. And they're like, I don't know what that is. Like, can you, what is, what do you mean real ID? What is that? Um, and I answered him like, Oh, I can't believe that this is true. But like, as soon as it came into my head, I'm like, this is the truest answer that there is.
[01:08:34] And it's like, what a real ID does is it stops you from saying, God, I got to get a real ID one of these days. Yeah. And, uh, folks, I need to get a real ID today. Because my fucking license is expired. Yeah, you need to do that. Yeah. Uh, well, I hope that you don't get knockout gamed on the CTA. Because I'm going to knock out game someone first. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:09:04] This is what I thought. I mean, this is why my first thought for fighting the toad was to just give him a Boston crab when he wasn't looking. Because I know how much you love knockout gaming teens on the CTA when they're looking at their phones. Oh, dude. They're like, uh, I can't wait to hit this loser. And it's already, I already got them. They're already on the ground, dude. That's all the time we have for Anime Sickos this week. I have been Tom and Anime Sicko. I am Joe and Anime Sicko.
[01:09:33] We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
[01:10:01] Bye-bye.